SQUIRREL!
Let’s face it, times are tough for all of us. And with everyone cutting back, it’s the little luxuries that are the first to go. So this Christmas, you can save 20% on a vial of squirrel blood suspended in sterile solution for someone really special.
Happy holidays from all your friends at bleedingsquirrels.com!
November 17, 2009 at 10:49 am
Appeal to furries and goths alike?
November 17, 2009 at 10:52 am
. . .how did they get the blood?
And does it come with a stuffed squirrel dressed like Thorton-era Angelina Jolie?
November 17, 2009 at 10:54 am
Will this keep “Count Rocky” from biting your neck?
November 17, 2009 at 10:54 am
Oh, here’s more of the little fella: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=32462405
Is this a creepy wildlife version of that Halloween game where there’s a bowl of peeled grapes for eyes and cooked spaghetti for nerves and so forth?
November 17, 2009 at 10:56 am
Hmm, a new way to get rid of road kill and fund the repairs to your vehicle.
November 17, 2009 at 10:57 am
Ew, ew, and ew. I don’t even dare ask why you would wear that.
November 17, 2009 at 10:58 am
Ok, so you’re a redneck that hunts squirrel and wanted to use ALL of the animal…but this? Who is your target audience for this? Morbid squirrel enthusiasts? Ewww!
November 17, 2009 at 11:00 am
Ok so we have it’s blood, it’s eye, and now it’s “tonuge” – http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=32463359
Hey, waste not want not, right?
November 17, 2009 at 11:00 am
My favorite is the last photo, in which the seller lays the vial out on a nappy old blanket next to a beat-up quilting ruler. Heightens the appeal.
November 17, 2009 at 11:02 am
According to the Driving Directions, it appears as though bleedingsquirrels.com is based out of one of Al-Quaeda’s caves.
November 17, 2009 at 11:03 am
Normal: “What’s that?”
Weirdo: “Squirrel blood…it’s anatomically intriguing”
Normal: “You’re NUTS”
Weirdo: *claps hands and bites shoulder*
November 17, 2009 at 11:05 am
Ewiness aside, I might understand this more if it were from a badass animal – wolverine blood, king cobra blood… sure, if you’re into that kind of thing. But… it’s a squirrel…
November 17, 2009 at 11:06 am
I could get some small fuzzy woodland creature blood for next to free that if I’d just stop screaming every time my dogs catch a bunny… the downside is I’d have to squeegee it off the bathroom walls after I clean up the carnage.
November 17, 2009 at 11:08 am
So Boris and Natasha started an Etsy shop?
November 17, 2009 at 11:10 am
This isn’t even whimsicle.
November 17, 2009 at 11:10 am
@#13Fae: hahaha
November 17, 2009 at 11:12 am
Dude… how did I live without these?!?
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=33601794
November 17, 2009 at 11:12 am
someone out there thinks this is really, REALLY cool. and will buy it. THAT fact makes me feel sad and scared.
November 17, 2009 at 11:15 am
“About the Anatomical Intrigue Vials:
All vial contents are suspended in a sterile, non-toxic solution.I have made effort to securely seal the cork into the bottle. Please do not attempt to remove the cork.”
Whatever, I’m opening and smearing. I want the full effect.
November 17, 2009 at 11:15 am
My nephew was skinning a squirrel and some blood was squirted into his mouth. He developed sores in his mouth. The doctors said that the sores were probably an allergic reaction to the blood. Then later he was not feeling well and the doctors thought that he might have mono. Now, he is having blood in his urine and his lower back near the kidneys is sore. The doctors are taking samples and some may not be analyzed for another week. Do you have any idea of what bacteria, virus, parasite………
November 17, 2009 at 11:15 am
What, the spirit of the squirrel gonna get me??
November 17, 2009 at 11:15 am
I wonder what they did with the squirrel’s nuts.
November 17, 2009 at 11:15 am
wait for it
November 17, 2009 at 11:17 am
@#19,,, okay maybe I won’t
November 17, 2009 at 11:17 am
in the squirrel blood could have caused this. Thanks, XXXXXX XXXXXX
Squirrels are not known to be a vector for human diseases. They can carry Leptospirosis and Salmonella. They also can carry parasites.
November 17, 2009 at 11:18 am
From Just Ask Veterinary
November 17, 2009 at 11:21 am
@kamikaze…okay then I will commence to slathering it on…has to have magical powers, or it wouldn’t be on sale
November 17, 2009 at 11:21 am
I really just don’t see the appeal of these neckla– SQUIRREL!
November 17, 2009 at 11:21 am
Where is PETA? And furthermore… WHAT THE HELL would someone DO with squirrel blood?
November 17, 2009 at 11:23 am
#29 pheromones, duh…slather behind ears
November 17, 2009 at 11:23 am
#21 Stingray: I’m eating a Squirrel Nut Zipper as I type.
November 17, 2009 at 11:24 am
#30: 10 points if you use “slather” again, what a great word!
November 17, 2009 at 11:25 am
Is this legal? Why couldn’t they just use fake blood a la Dexter? Now that’s some good looking fake blood on that show. This makes me want to hurl, because what if they had to squeeze the creature to get it out….ew…
November 17, 2009 at 11:28 am
So you can get this much money from selling squirrel blood? Think a trip to Centerparcs is in order then. Do you get more for red squirrel blood?
November 17, 2009 at 11:30 am
“Oh Christmas Squirrel Oh Christmas Squirrel,
How lovely is thy effluence,
Oh Christmas Squirrel Oh Christmas Squirrel,
I discounted for recompense,
Not only red when summer’s here,
but in the coldest time of year,
Oh Christmas Squirrel Oh Christmas Squirrel,
This bloody item makes no sense.
November 17, 2009 at 11:30 am
“
November 17, 2009 at 11:34 am
By far one of the creepiest shop I’ve ever seen. Where is she getting all these animal parts? I pray for the safety of her neighbors’ pets.
November 17, 2009 at 11:34 am
SQUIRREL!!!
November 17, 2009 at 11:36 am
I finally know what to get the squirrel vampire on my gift list.
November 17, 2009 at 11:37 am
She has so many legs listed from cats and dogs. Is there a market for these?
November 17, 2009 at 11:41 am
#40:
November 17, 2009 at 11:41 am
HEY IT WENT LIVE!
November 17, 2009 at 11:50 am
Shit, if only I’d known to save all the ones I hit with my car.
Why would I want the blood of a rat with a furry tail? Is there a spell I’m planning on casting while I put on my fairy dress and use my tiny woodland glitter fairy toilet?
November 17, 2009 at 11:50 am
#41 Thanks! Now I understand:)
November 17, 2009 at 11:53 am
#41 Kami – WaHaHaHaHa.
November 17, 2009 at 11:54 am
After looking at her site; I don’t think there is any roadkill in her town. She sells badger, deer, lizard etc.
I just keep hoping my cat that disappeared found a nice old lady to live with…
November 17, 2009 at 11:56 am
Helen, nice take on the web site. See you’ve been planning this post since yesterday, you idiot savant!
November 17, 2009 at 12:01 pm
Finally. Jesus, I thought I was going to have to put a red arrow up there.
November 17, 2009 at 11:59 am
I’d like to think that the squirrel donated it’s blood to this seller out of free will, just like the dog in the picture donated his ankles for a pair of earrings.
November 17, 2009 at 11:59 am
No no no nonononoNO. Undo, undo.
Delete delete delete.Make it go away.
November 17, 2009 at 12:01 pm
Perhaps, this is one of those charms to keep other evil squirrels away.
November 17, 2009 at 12:04 pm
#35 and #41 Kamikaze: LMFAO!
#31: Have you a photo?
November 17, 2009 at 12:06 pm
#10 gnommy mentioned it too — hit the “Driving Directions” and end up in Algeria.
November 17, 2009 at 12:08 pm
I’d like to order some squirrel plasmabilia.
November 17, 2009 at 12:08 pm
http://www.nutsonline.com/images/items/05308l1.jpg
November 17, 2009 at 12:10 pm
Wow! BleedingSquirrels.com does global rodent bloodletting. It’s hard to find that kind of service these days.
November 17, 2009 at 12:11 pm
“MOST animals are by-products of the hunting and farming industries…”
most?? what about the ones that aren’t?? where does she get the domestic cat &dog bones?
this is SO awful.. D:
November 17, 2009 at 12:18 pm
@ #17: What are “Grade A” cat ankle bones?
Is grade measured in strength? Purity of breed?
November 17, 2009 at 12:18 pm
How did the seller arrive at that price, $33.41?
November 17, 2009 at 12:21 pm
This
is not
art.
MAKE IT GO AWAY
November 17, 2009 at 12:22 pm
Our motto;
“We use everything but the scream.”
p
x
November 17, 2009 at 12:27 pm
#58 jeffreyrcarey – It’s on sale, so most likely:
x / 20% = $33.41
x = ?
I don’t do algebra.
November 17, 2009 at 12:29 pm
I meant: 0.20x = $33.41
x = original price
Like I said…..
November 17, 2009 at 12:32 pm
Yes, #61 Efit, I tried that.
Actually:
33.41 / .80 = $41.76
Question remains.
This is all just too bizarre.
November 17, 2009 at 12:35 pm
I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say this is not FDA approved. And gross!
November 17, 2009 at 12:37 pm
Came here for a “can they do this with the blood of a churchmouse instead?”.
Leaving disappointed.
/XKCD anyone?
November 17, 2009 at 12:58 pm
#63 jeffreyrcarey – You smart man. I am stupid people.
November 17, 2009 at 12:58 pm
#60 pauldodo – Shouldn’t that be… “We use everything but the nuts.”
November 17, 2009 at 1:00 pm
#67 martini – see #55
p
x
November 17, 2009 at 1:01 pm
…and it’s still ‘scream’. You don’t want to know how they puree the nuts….
p
x
November 17, 2009 at 1:03 pm
Sadly, it’s all starting to make sense.
November 17, 2009 at 1:07 pm
You mean not everyone has one of these?
Sad. You have no idea the mysticle, majicle, whimsicle joys squirrel blood can bring to your life.
November 17, 2009 at 1:09 pm
It’s not every day you come across an Etsy shop catering to lazy budding serial killers.
November 17, 2009 at 1:11 pm
At least you could scare off germaphobes with this.
November 17, 2009 at 1:18 pm
I am laughing my ass of from all the posts!
This is just too whacked…
November 17, 2009 at 1:29 pm
bunch of freaks.
November 17, 2009 at 1:46 pm
‘#76 i am bean :
bunch of freaks.’
Yep, ’bout sums us up.
Have a great day!
p
x
November 17, 2009 at 2:11 pm
Wait wait wait… who was skinning a squirrel? why? eew! Don’t tell me some people actually hunt, kill and eat squirrels…
Have you no grocerey stores?
November 17, 2009 at 2:20 pm
I would be so proud to be her mother. “So tell me, all bout, what your daughter does?”
November 17, 2009 at 2:30 pm
WHAT. THE. EFFFFFFFFFFFF????????
November 17, 2009 at 3:12 pm
If it was the blood of Jesus I’d get a couple of vials.
November 17, 2009 at 3:14 pm
Wow. Creepy and disturbing. Even if the seller isn’t butchering the neighborhood animals (domestic and wild alike), the image of someone Igor-ing around town and rooting through the carcasses of whatever crusty roadkill they find stresses me out something fierce.
November 17, 2009 at 3:20 pm
you know this couldn’t be any more sickening really.. thanks Hellen
i hate squirrels and the blood in a vial is sick and UNSANITARY. tree rats are one of the few modern carriers of dubinic plague. discusting
November 17, 2009 at 3:45 pm
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=34043490
Oh dear god! seeing this listing distresses me. I feel green thinking this person killed someones cat for a pelt. Worse what makes me really green is the pelt is the same color and markings as my ragamuffin cat.
*shudder* If this person is also killing cats it wont be long before there’s bodies in the basement.
November 17, 2009 at 4:19 pm
#84 The Blue Kraken, uh won’t be long?? The ‘basement’ you refer to is an active bootleg animal hospital/illegal abortion clinic/dungeon.
November 17, 2009 at 4:23 pm
Hope it’s not the blood from the squirrels we just had removed from our attic. The squirrel guy promised me he would let them go far away in the woods…
November 17, 2009 at 4:26 pm
Her avatar is a cute ferret. I wonder how many units of merchandise it became.
November 17, 2009 at 4:29 pm
Um … Jesus.
I have to wonder … how is this legal?
Cat Ankle earrings???
November 17, 2009 at 4:36 pm
Oh my FN Gawd – their whole shop is just EWWWW – What a way to remember an immortalize what is probably their pets – either that or some really sick Vet Tech thinks they found the perfect way to supplement their income and ‘clean-up’ at work at the same time – eeeewwwww
November 17, 2009 at 6:00 pm
What bothers me is how can you PROVE that it’s squirrel blood and not just a wrung out tampon?
November 17, 2009 at 6:25 pm
Now that’s a great way to make extra cash when “your friend has come to visit” as some put it…
November 17, 2009 at 6:50 pm
I am more perplexed by the preserved skunk eye
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=32462781
November 17, 2009 at 6:57 pm
Okay, so you want to “use the whole animal” well here’s an idea… pour the blood in soil on the ground where it will enrich the soil and return to nature, rather than putting it in a fucking vial on a chain to later sit in a landfill for eternity, and otherwise make everyone stay at least 20 feet away from you at all times…
November 17, 2009 at 7:28 pm
I really need someone to sculpt a fetus-genie and put it in a bottle in sterile solution, sealed as best they can, so that I can have a genie in a bottle. (It would have to be a fetus-genie because a full sized genie would be far too large for my neck)
November 17, 2009 at 7:29 pm
what a pretentious twat
November 17, 2009 at 7:32 pm
Oh wait:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=32182801
I’ll just tell everyone it’s a genie. Problem solved.
November 17, 2009 at 9:17 pm
You know, this is how little Jeffery Dahmer got his start, cutting up small animals and preserving them. Except he didn’t have the beauty of etsy to turn his little hobby into an enterprise. Poor guy.
This is so sick. Really, there is something deeply wrong with these people.
November 17, 2009 at 9:38 pm
#90 So, it would be worse if it WAS a wrung out tampon? I’m confused. How is squirrel blood better? At least menstrual blood came from the ever beautiful and wearable vagina.
November 17, 2009 at 9:54 pm
Okay, I get the skulls… I have a pretty impressive skull collection, I think they’re beautiful things, like seashells. Though I’d never kill anything for its bits.
Blood’s a little unsanitary though… And SQUIRREL blood?
When I saw this I had a great mental image of someone carefully wringing out a squirrel carcass over a teeny bottle, hahaha : )
And #98, yes, squirrel blood is still better than menstrual blood. Yuck.
November 18, 2009 at 2:56 am
The fact that this abomination SOLD is just confusing as hades. It’s not even ATTRACTIVE. Not even slightly.
It is ugly, highly unsanitary, and anyone who would wear it is likely not dealing with a full deck. Blood is blood. It carries pathogens and other entities NOT intended for use as adornment. How the “materials” were procured is another matter, and perhaps the most unsettling aspect of this vulgar (as opposed to vulvar) object.
November 18, 2009 at 8:31 am
Though I too think that selling squirrel blood is a little extreme for my tastes, in the seller’s defense his profile states he is a taxidermist which means the products are most likely safe (if he is a proper taxidermist).
“I should note that I do not kill any animals for sales. Most are by-products of the farming and hunting industries. Others are scavenged from the endless miles of surrounding desert foothills. A small few are presents from my mighty hunting felines!”
November 18, 2009 at 8:38 am
Really?
November 18, 2009 at 8:43 am
I fell the need to kind of sort of defend this seller. Like #99, I also collect animal skulls, as well as other bones, horns, etc. I find skeletons to be incredibly beautiful objects; not in a supernatural or goth way, but because I love anatomy, biology and nature. To me, it’s the same as collecting shells, petrified wood and fossils (which i also do). If you went to a Tex-Mex restaurant and saw a cow skull on the wall, you wouldn’t find it out of place. There is nothing illegal about it.
November 18, 2009 at 8:44 am
Cont: There are a lot of people who appreciate/enjoy taxidermy as a genuine craft/art. I know it’s not everyone’s taste, but collecting this type of stuff doesn’t make you Jeffrey Dahmer or an animal torturer. Also, taxidermists are very careful about making sure pelts and bones are clean and safe. It’s likely the dog and cat bones came from roadkill she found. It is very common for people training as taxidermists to pick up road kill for “practice.” Gross? Yes. Animal cruelty? No!
November 18, 2009 at 8:45 am
I wanna be taxidermied now.
November 18, 2009 at 8:50 am
I will say that the blood vials are weird and/or mildly unsanitary. I’m also freaked out about the tabby pelt, but because seeing it makes me think of my passed kitties.
I think having something like that around would make me sad. However, I would be very willing to bet the seller did NOT kill this cat.
I think it’s fine to laugh/joke about the idea of wearing a vial of squirrel blood, but please don’t think that people who are interested in “anatomical curiosities” are creepy…
November 18, 2009 at 9:19 am
I don’t think the cat listing is legal. http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/19/usc_sec_19_00001308—-000-.html
November 18, 2009 at 10:49 am
Aww Angelina started an Etsy store? How cute! Too bad Billy Bob didn’t come through for the merchandise and she had to switch to squirrels instead….
and #90 HAHAHA!
November 18, 2009 at 12:58 pm
#78 WrathOfFoamy – Have no doubt about that, people even make it their lifestyle! http://huntergathercook.typepad.com/huntergathering_wild_fres/2009/10/a-visit-from-reuters-a-short-videowith-a-squirrel-supper.html
November 18, 2009 at 2:51 pm
omg it sold! el oh el
November 18, 2009 at 4:28 pm
It’s just so sad… Squirrels are so cute! But surely, no one other than tree-man, or other people who live off the land, eat the cute little squirrely-squirrels! If so, I choose to remain in denial
November 18, 2009 at 4:43 pm
it can’t be legal to send blood (any kind) through the mail. you know how they ask you what you’re shipping? What would the seller say? Oh yeah there’s a vial of blood in here.
November 18, 2009 at 9:02 pm
Are you shipping anything liquid, fragile or potentially hazardous? Psycho.
November 19, 2009 at 1:01 am
…I don’t know what’s more disturbing. The fact that this person somehow acquired squirrel blood, or the fact that someone seriously bought it….
This shop is seriously whacked out….WHAT….THE….FARK….
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=32279139
November 20, 2009 at 8:37 am
It’s so “whimsicle” I want to put it on my Gypsy Dangler!
November 20, 2009 at 10:23 am
#114–how about the fact that a squirrel died to be ON SALE?
I want my dead fluids to be full price, dammit.
November 25, 2009 at 12:09 pm
“are suspended in a sterile, non-toxic solution.I have made effort to securely seal the cork into the bottle. Please do not attempt to remove the cork.”
This is disturbing on so many levels and raises so many questions.
Why bother to suspend your animal blood in a sterile solution?
Why do you only “make an effort” to seal the bottles? Shouldn’t you actually make SURE you seal the bottles?
Why would anyone want to remove the cork?
99% of serial killers started by killing…
November 28, 2009 at 12:06 pm
Hey… Just because it looks like they are getting rich don’t try this at home! Doing this type of thing is not easy. You have to be a trained fleabotomist.
December 4, 2009 at 1:05 pm
I think once you put the squirrel blood in there the “sterile solution” just turns into “solution.”
December 15, 2009 at 1:02 pm
Okay, a few of them are kind of neat, like the bird brain, and the bones (I like bones!). The eyes would be more interesting if they were from a bigger creature; they sort of just look like a lump of … something. But the squirrel and skunk blood have me stumped.
And I thought -I- was morbid. Good god! (I -am- tempted by some of his/her bone lots…)
I want to know where s/he’s getting all these prairie dog parts. I could swear prairie dogs were protected as endangered animals…
January 8, 2011 at 2:25 pm
What worries me most about this is that my first thought when seeing it was “Psshh! Yeah right! As if it’s actually squirell’s blood! How the heck are we supposed to know?”