Maybe you should sell the Tonka truck and buy an iron.
If she ironed it and cropped the photo and put her legs together she could bump the price to $30.
the stance makes the wearer look like s/he’s at a urinal.
Why is she standing like that? And, sell the crown, too, or at least let us see the dress with the crown on! This is just too much!
ugh! parquet floors. that explains everything.
I think her back hurts from picking up toys.
Oh, we can’t make fun of her…she might be of Native American heritage. Glad she has the Shout ready, though.
I don’t like to iron either, but damn – hang that sucker near the shower and steam the tar out of it first!
The outfit is certainly not the worst item in the shop…
I actually like how the halter and the lace looks on the top portion.
Picking up toys. LOL. She got tired of putting this dress back in the dress-up bin and decided to sell it instead.
I’m no expert on perspective; but if that’s a standard door behind her I think the seller tops out at over 6 feet tall. Maybe we should just humor this one.
No kidding, Jea. And the price bump would cover the iron; you can get a cheapo one for under $15.
You know, the Gentleman with the thistledown hair would probablty encase her in the Black Pillar of Doom for associating fairies with this dress thing.
I don’t know what in the hell her intentions were but that is the worst thing I think I’ve ever seen.
Looks like she has to poop.
Other than the weak photography, this is actually IMO one of the better things in her shop. Most of it is sort of blandly non-awesome (e.g., http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=30018803 ) — but what’s up with this doll http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=31471201 ? “An extra idea: This used to be a peeing doll and the tube is still inside. Use a medicine syringe in it’s mouth and it can ‘bleed’.” Do I need a broken menstruating doll?…
She has this tagged as “gothic”. I do not think the word means what she thinks it means.
My son plays football and that’s the stance he’d take on the field right before he dropped into the three-point position to charge at the other team. (yes, I’m a horrible football mom, I don’t know technical terms)
When truckers wear green and lace….
Maybe she’s standing like that because she wants to look like Peter Pan. But Tinkerbell was the fairy, not Peter Pan :/
Maybe the wrinkles are meant to add a whimsicle touch to this faerie concoction? “I’m a faerie, just slept in a bed of leaves. See these wrinkles? Yea, don’t drink nectar with elves.”
Looks like she could use a whimsicle fairy toilet!
Green Fairy, huh? Suppose she was into the Absinthe when she took these pictures?
I suppose at least it’s ONLY $15.00… you can spend the money you saved on the dry cleaner.
Who is the Native American Indian in the picture on the wall, someone clue me in to that historical figure’s suffering as part of this listing.
At first I thought this deserved a “Spelling Issues” tag; but the Jolly Green Giantess knows her archaic English. “Sleave – something suggesting the twists or coils of a skein : tangle.” Kudos!
You really have to see her other stuff. Her “ribbon ponytail falls” have just the right touch of fray, and check these out:
If you dig through her shop you’ll find all kinds of ragged ribbon and hair items displayed on the floor.
#11 Cold Salt – She’s definitely not going to the ball at Lost Hope in that getup.
Looks like the fairy toilet maker needs to make a fairy ironing board.
As a seamstress, I’d like to add that everything in her shop looks like it was made by a 6 year old during their first sewing lesson …bunched up seams, crooked hems, threads hanging everywhere. What a bunch of crap!
I love this item – http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=21193977 – very well made and naked breast bedding in the background!
#10 Kamikaze: you’re right, standard door frames are about 6’8″, so unless the photographer is on his knees begging for mercy, she’s an Amazon. Also, she better put away the spray cleaner before her kid gets into it.
This is all a misinterpretation.
Faeries are small.
Does it come in cougar?
This is the most gawd-awful creepy POS I’ve seen.
I amazed her prices are so low.
#25 Stingray: thanks (as always) and much love (as always). Something tells me her children are VERY obedient so the bottle’s probably no threat.
Is the lace part supposed to since in somewhere? Because, I don’t think a lace corset(?)/vest(?)is supposed to make you look like a square lamp shade from the 50′s. I also don’t think the sleeves(?) should look like they’ve been ripped off of some thrift store mannequin. But then again, I’m not an artist.
*since+cinch. I’m obviously not a speller either
DucksNew – yeah, this evokes images of a fairy ‘ho who has had a rough night walkin’ the forest floor and hangin’ out by the woodblock. When she couldn’t net any high-rollin’ fairy johns, she decided to take those nectar-drunk elves back to her fairy nest, but they didn’t leave the right amount of magical dust on her nightstand. Now her fairy pimp is gonna be pissed and yank her wings until she cries. In her desperation, she’ll have to boff a few mountain trolls just to make a quick…
…Maybe she’s special.
#34 hammerhead77 : “I love your dream” – Ethel Shatford
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=26042447 Now that’s what I’m talkin bout.
This is totally my next nanowrimo novel…LOL
#34 hammerhead77 : DucksNew – yeah, this evokes images of a fairy ‘ho who has had a rough night walkin’ the forest floor and hangin’ …..
I’ve got to agree with #28.
“An extra idea: This used to be a peeing doll and the tube is still inside. Use a medicine syringe in it’s mouth and it can ‘bleed’.”
WHY?! There’s nothing quite so goth as a baby that pees blood?!
She’s like Prairie Meth Girl’s less-greedy but equally untalented sister!
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=30015730 Do you think it’s OK to leave the “hospital” in this storm?
Price so low cos when you pick up the “item” you have breakage.
How ’bout y’all write the novels and I’ll direct a fantasy-realm version of Leaving Las Vegas?
I’ll call it “Leaving Lothlorien”
#41 jojo : http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=30015730 Do you think it’s OK to leave the “hospital” in this storm?
If she’s going to use a green screen she should be a magical gothic faerie forest in the background.
“When truckers wear green and lace…” LMAO!
What is really scary is that she has sold 31 of her “creations”…eek! Check out this beauty:
#20 sar-sar: It’s Native American OR American Indian. I personally go with Native American, since my grandparent’s weren’t from India but rather Wyoming.
*grandparents. I need coffee.
It’s official…every hick and redneck in the universe is now selling on Etsy.
Oh, and for the record…no self respecting ‘goth’ would be caught dead in that thing. Honestly…what are these people thinking…WTF!?!
Oh Amazon, you do me wrong
To cast me off like a Tonka truck
For I have loved you well and long,
You never iron, but WTF.
Greensleaves my giant queen,
Put away the spray, your house is clean,
What’s up with the crown of gold,
And who but you spells it green “sleaves.”
positive note: She is wearing shoes
ok…I was so shocked I had to go back for a second look. She’s from Nebraska and her name is Mz Kittichoo Kaos!
Thanks Regretsy…now I’ve seen everything…(I think)
me again….crikey…have you seen her artwork?
‘Tragic’ is only the beginning…God help us.
CANT. STOP. LOOKING. SO. BAD. HELP. ME.
OMG, I have literally been bent over from laughing. This may be my favorite Etsy crafter of all time. One item is better than the next.
And thanks to all of you for adding to my enjoyment.
#52 Bean, you’re right, those are awful. Maybe she’s having trouble holding the small paintbrush in her giant Amazon hand.
This is the creepiest “teddy bear” I’ve seen. I sure as hell wouldn’t give it to a child…it would give them nightmares.
You know when you’ve just stepped out of the shower and a delivery guy knocks on the door. Then you rummage about in the wash basket for any old shit to throw on.
Then suddenly it dawns on you that the delivery guy you’ve just seen was white as a sheet with saucers for eyes….was he checking you out in all your post shower sexiness?
It was because you’d thrown on a creased bedsheet, tied your dads socks on your hands and wrapped your nan’s knickers around your tits.
fairy/goth’s really fucking confuse me: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=33333470
Knight Loses Life To Amazon Fairy.
Knight gives his life whilst trying to save his Tonka village from the mad fairy. He must have struggled mightily, for he left her attire in a shambles. The king states he shall not be at peace until the noble knight’s body is found. Evidence shows the Amazon fairy has cleaned all evidence from the scene.
42×32 pant size??????
Be on the look out for Amazon woman and accomplice, hobbit man.
Dammit to hell #49 Stingray Charles. First you make me fall in love with you, then you go and redo that hippie Renaissance Fair WASPy crap song and get it stuck in my head and all I can think of is Godammit she misspelled sleaves and it’s driving me nuts and now that song is in my head and I wish I could play a mandolin.
#69 Efit: If it’s any consolation, that song’s been stuck in my head since 7th grade music class.
#70 Stingray Charles: Eh
P.S. Stingray, it’s “Efit Milady”
If you want to make a dress with sleeves, why don’t you… just…. add… sleeves?
I think my head just exploded.
This kind of looks like something I would sew – which is why I don’t attempt to sell things I sew.
did you see her artwork? it’s more disturbing than her clothing “designs”
#72 Efit M’lady: Don’t be a Ren Fair hater.
The look, I believe is called “Ghetto Whimsy”…
#76 Stingray Charles: Hazah!
(We should just get a room.)
#77 worldfamousfudgy: “Ghetto Whimsy” LOVE IT
She better watch out. Her green fairy godmother is going to open up a big can of whupass and dump it all over her.
#29 is right – her skills as a seamstress are abysmal. You know, when you completely SUCK at sewing, the solution is not to lower your prices so you’re making about $1.50 an hour. The solution is to NOT SELL until you’re making something that people will pay at least enough for that you’ll make minimum wage for your time.
Blegh, clearly I’m no grammarian, but you know what I’m trying to say there.
#31 Yeah get the bottle cleaner out of the way.
And maybe shave your legs. Or is that just the bad quality of the picture and the shadow on your pale legs. You need to fix the colours on your picture too. The sleeves look brown and your body is grey.
I’m not even going to mention ironing your crap because everyone has already done so.
#29 biggles5–Amen! Hell, I’m not even a seamstress and I was thinking all this looks like she cut it out and sewed it together with her eyes closed.
Worse, she appears to have no idea how tasteless and/or inept she is. I mean, I’m not that great at sewing, either, but I don’t sell stuff.
With a stance like this, she’s going to be a champ at childbirth…
I’m still not 100% convinced this is a woman.
I don’t know where to begin. Better not.
I am in love with Stingray Charles too. This could mean trouble.
The clue phone is ringing . . .
Her legs are like that because she is getting ready to pose for her Customised Felted Vagoo Necklace.
@ #86 – Yeah Audrey – it’s just too overwhelming. I looked at about half of the shop. Dis-gust-ing.
Isn’t that the same stance Robin Hood would take before breaking into song with his Merry Men?
You know that greasy feeling you get after foolishly plunging into the dollar-a-pound bin at your local thrift store? Behold…she has recreated that experience online.
I do NOT believe what I’m seeing.
Sorry, that should be “beleave”.
ROFL@ #88, the clue phone is ringing! hahahha where’s that from?
ohno, ohno oh no this is just wrong, every part of it, but particularly her stance
“#6 jeffreyrcarey : Oh, we can’t make fun of her…she might be of Native American heritage. Glad she has the Shout ready, though.”
That’s Totally Toddler nursery stain remover! Goes with the truck! The dress, meh.
If you ever dreamed of cosplaying as the ugly fairy I guess this is your lucky day.
What a shapeless Motherfuckin’ Dress!..
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