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Better Than CATS

Posted by Helen Killer

101 comments

Oh I have questios, all right.

Filed in Art, Cats, Spelling Issues 101 comments

101 Comments

Add Comment

Nov 16, 2009
4:04 pm

#1 glitzglitter :

It really is a dreary look. In the tags “biblical.” Huh?

Rate this comment: +5

Nov 16, 2009
4:05 pm

#2 Fae :

“sturdy enough to mail with out breakage (I hope)”

Christmas? BIBLICAL?

So very many questios.

Rate this comment: +6

Nov 16, 2009
4:06 pm

#3 rinthered :

meOUCH!

Rate this comment: +2

Nov 16, 2009
4:06 pm

#4 Art By Blakenetizen :

oh I cant think of anything else I would rather spend $200 on… a 4 lb old crap barbie doll “cat statue” that “stares into my soul’….

Rate this comment: +7

Nov 16, 2009
4:07 pm

#5 whyohwhy :

The description, materials and tags are even more thought provoking.

Rate this comment: +3

Nov 16, 2009
4:07 pm

#6 everydaymama :

So many questios for sure, but mainly what the hell does this mean? “When you view the piece in person you will note that each of the cats are looking at you as you look directly at you”.

My head hurts!!

Rate this comment: +7

Nov 16, 2009
4:07 pm

#7 tarabu :

The nateral matieials really bring the polamer clay and acrilic paint to life.

I am pleased the seller mentioned they were mattel dolls – I would not pay that much for hasbro.

Rate this comment: +6

Nov 16, 2009
4:08 pm

#8 NinjaGato :

200 bucks for spray painted barbie dolls?

” I priced this piece what I feel I can live with…always in my heart it is worth more.”

YOU keep it then! I’m getting sick of these sellers whining about how in love with their crap they are and how sad they are to see it go. If you loved it THAT much you’d keep it.

Rate this comment: +8

Nov 16, 2009
4:09 pm

#9 NinjaGato :

what do you suppose a nateral material is?

Rate this comment: +4

Nov 16, 2009
4:09 pm

#10 Helen Killer :

I love the idea that you just set your cats free when you can’t feed them anymore.

Rate this comment: +9

Nov 16, 2009
4:11 pm

#11 blackcat :

What the hell does this have to do with Christmas?

Rate this comment: +3

Nov 16, 2009
4:12 pm

#12 akiddo :

naked barbies painted like cats = who will feed our pets during an apocalypse??? the mental leap taken here is gargantuan…if ya like the naked doll, like it..don’t turn it into a spca ad…

Rate this comment: +7

Nov 16, 2009
4:13 pm

#13 ArtHarpy :

MEMORIES….Leave this alone in the Moonlight! For Fucksake, CATS is horrible enough without it being immortalized. Somebody call Andrew Lloyd Webber… there’s a theatre somewhere missing a few retarded Cats.

Rate this comment: +2

Nov 16, 2009
4:13 pm

#14 Jea :

Awesome.

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 16, 2009
4:14 pm

#15 trashtramp :

For some reason, I feel like singing a Jellicle Song for Jellicle Cats…

Rate this comment: +1

Nov 16, 2009
4:15 pm

#16 akiddo :

@ninjagato #9…yes! the spelling on etsy deserves its own special regretsy section!! lol!!!!

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 16, 2009
4:15 pm

#17 personalearthquake :

if we were $198, we might be in business…but then again, if i can’t get a guarantee on the shipping breakage…hmm…it’s a toss up….clown wreath or apocolyptic barbie cat statue?

Rate this comment: +4

Nov 16, 2009
4:15 pm

#18 ArtHarpy :

And Helen… Please in the name of all that is Holy, tag this one with “Copyright Infringment” as well! http://www.lakeland.edu/UserFiles/Image/Alumni/Cats%20photo%20for%20web.jpg

Rate this comment: +1

Nov 16, 2009
4:17 pm

#19 jeffreyrcarey :

kitty litter

Rate this comment: +1

Nov 16, 2009
4:22 pm

#20 Stingray Charles :

So there’s no cat food in the future? That is dreary. Did the Prawns in District 9 eat it all?

Rate this comment: +8

Nov 16, 2009
4:23 pm

#21 personalearthquake :

who wants to read all that crap?

I just did…and I regret it.

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=34232004

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 16, 2009
4:24 pm

#22 martini :

Barbies gone bad.

Rate this comment: +1

Nov 16, 2009
4:25 pm

#23 jeffreyrcarey :

I am 100% with #6 everydaymama. My head hurts. And “what the hell does this mean?”. What the hell does any of it mean? I love the quote, “I hope you like this piece?” Do you hope we like it or NOT?!

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 16, 2009
4:30 pm

#24 jenigirl :

I have nothing clever to say except I almost pissed myself reading that description! I never cease to be amazed at how fucking serious people are about their shitty art.

And we have been warned…there will be more

Rate this comment: +4

Nov 16, 2009
4:31 pm

#25 everydaymama :

The shop’s announcement is equally hideous!

“Please come in…everyone is welcome..I hope you find something that you just can’t live without, or want to get for a friend…can I get you a cup of coffee or a glass of wine…hehehehe”

What the hell is up with all the odd “laughter” all over this sellers shop and listings? Are they mentally disturbed… Or do I need to ask?

Rate this comment: +8

Nov 16, 2009
4:33 pm

#26 chicaflamenca :

I have no words. Except USE THE SPELL CHECKER. WTF???? Do you SERIOUSLY think any of us intelligent people want to spend our hard earned money on anything that is described with such little thought and intelligence??? REALLLLLLLYYYYYYY???????

Rate this comment: +1

Nov 16, 2009
4:37 pm

#27 everydaymama :

I just realized my compost heap bears a striking resemblance to this piece of… COUGH… Art…

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 16, 2009
4:38 pm

#28 Stingray Charles :

From this angle I can see the silver cat’s pu…No, too easy. Time to go home.

Rate this comment: +1

Nov 16, 2009
4:45 pm

#29 crazycatlady :

Oh well never was there ever a cat so clever as….

Fuck it, this is just shit.

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 16, 2009
4:45 pm

#30 NinjaGato :

1. I would also like to know what makes this biblical. Perhaps because of all the “oh my GAWD’s” and “Jesus H Christ with a Laptop’s”

Rate this comment: +1

Nov 16, 2009
4:46 pm

#31 NinjaGato :

I dare someone to convo her to ask why she tagged it “biblical”

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 16, 2009
4:48 pm

#32 Do not read my name :

I wish I could live in this persons world for just five minutes, just to try an alternate reality.
Her shop is a treasure trove of
longwinded airy fairy nonsensical descriptions, tag spamming, overuse of LOL, you name it. It’s the biggest trainwreck I’ve seen in a long time.

Rate this comment: +1

Nov 16, 2009
4:49 pm

#33 Stingray Charles :

#31: I’d take the dare, but Etsy deleted my profile.

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 16, 2009
5:03 pm

#34 Redshirt Knitting :

“conversation starter for sure” truer words were never spoken. Conversations like “You paid HOW much?” and “What is wrong with you?”

Rate this comment: +5

Nov 16, 2009
5:04 pm

#35 imwithya :

lol “better than cats” (“I want to see it again and again”) Not.

I kinda like the clown one with the arms connected by wires… is that wrong?

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 16, 2009
5:10 pm

#36 Bad_Wolf :

#6 Perhaps the artist is implying that the cats are fixing you with an accusatory glare as you look deeply inside yourself and lament your future negligence…

Or she was high on acrylic paint fumes while writing this description.

Rate this comment: +4

Nov 16, 2009
5:12 pm

#37 rudegrl :

I assume its tagged as biblical because of all the people afraid the world is going to end in 2012. I am also assuming she is one of those people. Does she think cats will survive and evolve into human-like cats?

Rate this comment: +4

Nov 16, 2009
5:19 pm

#38 notmyrealname :

A catastrophe of biblical proportions? Can I make that pun?

Rate this comment: +3

Nov 16, 2009
5:20 pm

#39 TooManyCookbooks :

I’m ‘actully’ a little disappointed that this was not, in fact, a tribute to Andrew Lloyd Webber as I first thought. I’d have sent the link to my sister — it would be the perfect thing to threaten to buy her for Presentmas!

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 16, 2009
5:23 pm

#40 Terrible Muriel :

I love that on this one:

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=34232004

she gets so specific about the Materials including “wood base with a hole in it for hanging it”.

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 16, 2009
5:24 pm

#41 Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell :

I see Christina, Lil’ Kim, & Mýa, where’s Pink?

Rate this comment: +4

Nov 16, 2009
5:36 pm

#42 Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell :

#31: Done.

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 16, 2009
5:44 pm

#43 Cold Salt :

Why are misspelled words so funny?

Rate this comment: +1

Nov 16, 2009
5:47 pm

#44 crapgawker :

Oh – acrilic was used again! That seems to be a popular nateral matieials for the illiterate ETsiAn.

Biblical/Christmas? Oh yeah – that was one of the FIRST things that came to mind – gosh @ #2 Fae – you don’t get it??! I got that right away.

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 16, 2009
5:49 pm

#45 lemon floor wax :

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=13243263
Please help. This one is talking to her. And it’s making her unable to “consentrate.”

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 16, 2009
5:50 pm

#46 Pytt :

damn you microsoft why do you make the spell checker so hard to use?!

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 16, 2009
5:53 pm

#47 Pytt :

the Age just had something about English being very hard to learn how to read, and after trying to decipher this one I can only but agree

Rate this comment: +1

Nov 16, 2009
5:56 pm

#48 dangerousmezzo :

#15 — it’s not supposed to be tagged “biblical”, it’s supposed to be tagged “whimsicle”

It IS amazing how funny misspellings are, isn’t it? But I’m also disturbed by just how many illiterate Etsians are out there, trying to sell bad art they sincerely think is good.

Etsy has a lot to answer for.

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 16, 2009
6:02 pm

#49 dangerousmezzo :

Actually, some of her other work I find interesting, but she should not be allowed to write her own descriptions or take her own photographs.

I think it would be interesting to do a “makeover” of some of these items and see if they could be presented in a way that would make them saleable or at least credible as artwork. I think a lot of very high end art would be total junk without clever marketing (Tracy Emin comes to mind …)

Rate this comment: +1

Nov 16, 2009
6:16 pm

#50 NinjaGato :

hehe Kamakaze I can’t wait!

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 16, 2009
6:21 pm

#51 mannequinreject :

Mattel has sued people who did similar things in the 90s and tried to sell it. Barbie bondage and Barbie BBQ, Barbie Christ, Lesbo Barbie, etc.

This is so not worth a lawsuit! I mean, I set a Barbie head on fire and the fucker didn’t melt, and I’m sure if I ebayed it as a haunted Barbie head that won’t die Mattel would probably come after me with flaming torches and pitchforks when maybe, just maybe, it should be the other way around.

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 16, 2009
6:24 pm

#52 Petite :

nateraly, I am in love.

Rate this comment: +1

Nov 16, 2009
6:33 pm

#53 milkshakesthecat :

Is Judgment Day coming or something? Will Jesus not be supplying cat food?

Rate this comment: +4

Nov 16, 2009
6:35 pm

#54 Lexiii :

My cats don’t have boobs.

Rate this comment: +7

Nov 16, 2009
6:38 pm

#55 sar-sar :

Wow, she fucked up 3 Barbie dolls… my collection of Barbies is shuddering in a closet somewhere…
*shish, darlings, I promise not to take you out of the boxes and fuck you up.”

Biblical, lolz… more like Biblicle.
Again, this is why I have fish.

Rate this comment: +2

Nov 16, 2009
6:52 pm

#56 GoldenAppleofDiscord :

Oy vey! Her cats have mange.

Rate this comment: +1

Nov 16, 2009
6:52 pm

#57 Kathleen :

Biblical? Maybe she’s talking about the LOLcat Bible? Does Ceiling Cat approve?

Rate this comment: +3

Nov 16, 2009
6:53 pm

#58 everydaymama :

#36 Bad_Wolf :

#6 Perhaps the artist is implying that the cats are fixing you with an accusatory glare as you look deeply inside yourself and lament your future negligence…

Or she was high on acrylic paint fumes while writing this description.
———-

I vote paint fumes, among other things!

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 16, 2009
6:53 pm

#59 NinjaGato :

biblicle great!

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 16, 2009
6:58 pm

#60 NinjaGato :

If she says that the biblical reference is a response to the 2012 rumor I have to do a giant eye roll. I hate whacknuts who obsess about the end of the world. I had a boss who talked constantly about how if Obama won the Presidency it would signify the end of times. Needless to say I don’t work there anymore. I love how every religious nut that thinks the world is ending references “the book of Revelations” check your Bible dumbass it’s “the book of Revelation”

Rate this comment: +2

Nov 16, 2009
7:18 pm

#61 madamedefarge :

Memory…
I remember when my brothers would do things like this to my Barbie dolls

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 16, 2009
7:19 pm

#62 MinnePurl :

Cat on a hot shit shingle

Rate this comment: +2

Nov 16, 2009
7:48 pm

#63 Monstrosa :

My mind is so boggled by this.
I thought the 2012 thing was Mayan, not biblical. Plus, didn’t that Mayan priest guy at the end-of-the-world conference call the whole thing idiotic?

On the plus side, I’ve come up with a great pitch for Mattel: Cat Lady Barbie. With Barbie’s cousin, Frankenskipper. (Sold separately.) There’s real playset potential here. The mutation chamber that lights up and turns rainbow colors in cold water. The cats: “Their fangs really grow!”
Genius.

Rate this comment: +2

Nov 16, 2009
7:54 pm

#64 gnommy :

Look at the sold items. Dare you.

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 16, 2009
8:08 pm

#65 artistamuerta :

Buffalo Bill called, he wants his Barbies back.

Rate this comment: +1

Nov 16, 2009
8:20 pm

#66 NinjaGato :

63- you would be correct on all of those points. I watched a special today and everyone they interviewed except for the religious nuts said it was a load of crap.

Rate this comment: +2

Nov 16, 2009
8:51 pm

#67 Frankenkitty :

#51- Mannequinreject: I think they make them so that they can’t burn. I tried to torch one for a photo once, and she wouldn’t light up.

This one’s kind of interesting. I like what she did with the arms.
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=13243263

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 16, 2009
9:06 pm

#68 AwwwwwwwSnap :

She has many more treasures in her shop. I think this piece should be renamed “Confessions of an Amputee Geisha Clown Prostitute” – http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=13243263

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 16, 2009
9:16 pm

#69 Stingray Charles :

#42 Kamikaze: did she respond?

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 16, 2009
9:22 pm

#70 NinjaGato :

67- You didn’t use enough lighter fluid.

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 16, 2009
10:45 pm

#71 sbarnes2 :

Seriously- I’ve seen Cats, and this is way better. If someone held a gun to my head and said I’d have to choose either spending my money on seeing that play again or spend it on this, I’d spend it on this.

And of course, the person holding the gun to my head would be Andrew Lloyd Weber. Cos no one else I know thinks its good either.

Too harsh?

Rate this comment: -1

Nov 16, 2009
11:11 pm

#72 Stiflers Mom :

Madamedefarge: I remember when my brothers would do things like this to my Barbie dolls

…………………

This goes WAAAAAY beyond using Magic Markers to draw on nipples and pubes.

Rate this comment: +1

Nov 16, 2009
11:35 pm

#73 Holly Weird :

The list of materials is the most hilarious thing about this listing

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 16, 2009
11:52 pm

#74 randomlygenerated :

Last time I checked ‘accessaries’ was spelled ‘accessories.’ However, maybe when the item is for home and a weird, biblical, christmas sculpture the spelling varies. Yet one more important thing I didn’t learn in high school.

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 17, 2009
12:02 am

#75 pauldodo :

….strangely erotic….am….drawn to….it……

Must….re…sist…..

p
x

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 17, 2009
1:41 am

#76 cptfknvicious :

imagine waking up to this on your night stand. usually you only have to worry about your cats weaving around your ankles at the top of the stairs. this is much scarier.

Rate this comment: +2

Nov 17, 2009
3:11 am

#77 Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell :

#50 & #69 NinjaGato & Stingray:
Well………you don’t see “biblical” in the tag words any more do you? I was going to quote the response but WHERE THE HELL DID THOSE SCRUPLES COME FROM? Yup, this is the seller’s imagining of the world after Armageddon. Lacking scriptural support, the seller removed the tag.

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 17, 2009
3:19 am

#78 Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell :

#60 NinjaGato:
Oh, and no mention of 2012!

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 17, 2009
4:17 am

#79 Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell :

#41 Kamikaze:
OK, that’s me I never bumped on of my own snarks before but am I REALLY the only one who thinks the inspiration for this thing was that “Lady Marmalade” remake video from the “Moulin Rouge!” soundtrack?

Rate this comment: +1

Nov 17, 2009
4:19 am

#80 pauldodo :

Kami- prolly, my old love.

p
x

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 17, 2009
4:24 am

#81 Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell :

#80 pauldodo:
fair enough, thank you!

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 17, 2009
4:31 am

#82 pauldodo :

Wonder if this seller would consider making a ‘doll mountain’ version of Kylie as the Absinthe Fairy from Moulin Rouge?

p
x

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 17, 2009
4:36 am

#83 Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell :

grins for pauldodo at #82:
I’d prolly by that Jesus-on-a-laptop help me.

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 17, 2009
4:46 am

#84 jeffreyrcarey :

I wonder if we could get GI Joe remade as Edward. And where’s Barbie’s friend Ken? Man-doll hater.

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 17, 2009
4:53 am

#85 jeffreyrcarey :

#77 Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell
“biblical” was removed, but all the other creative spellings were retained. Wouldn’t want to fix anything else.

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 17, 2009
5:01 am

#86 Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell :

#84 jeffreycarey:
Well she does do commission work. She works in Mattel dolls, so it would have to be Ken as Edward, GI Joe is Hasbro. And hot.

Rate this comment: +1

Nov 17, 2009
5:02 am

#87 Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell :

Was that last sentence out loud?

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 17, 2009
5:03 am

#88 Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell :

#85 I’m done convoing her promise.

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 17, 2009
7:09 am

#89 vangoghbabe :

Biblical=I have been praying for these “artist”.
Nateral=Barbies have been reborn.
Thank God 2012 is upon us.
I want to be gone when the hair ball hits the fan.

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 17, 2009
7:34 am

#90 The Runaway Lawyer :

@#51 mannequinreject – There’s no copyright violation here – essentially, she’s just using the dolls as materials in a work of art, not trying to market the Barbie name/product in any way, so it’s completely lawful.

That said…..dear lord almighty – wtf is that?

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 17, 2009
9:38 am

#91 Tdogdd :

So… In the apocalypse cats are gonna have large breasts pointy feet and undependable arms. What the hell are we to use as a litter box then ?

Rate this comment: +2

Nov 17, 2009
9:39 am

#92 i am bean :

@#19…just pissed myself laughing

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 17, 2009
9:57 am

#93 crankedmunkie :

According to her profile she’s a retired recluse. Her kids are probably too scared to visit because she has a house full of these creepy sculptures everywhere.

Rate this comment: +3

Nov 17, 2009
10:46 am

#94 Efit :

I think this thing is retarded?
It scares the shit out of me?
The seller is stupid and scary?
This made me barf a little on the floor?

Rate this comment: +2

Nov 17, 2009
3:08 pm

#95 mannequinreject :

Runaway Lawyer, check out some of the lawsuits Mattel attempted in the 90s. They went after artists and independent designers who did nothing more than make clothes and dye the hair of Barbies and resold them, and they also went after a lot of people who were selling Barbies without official Mattel reseller/dealer licenses or some such nonsense. A lot of sellers were scared at the time because it was the early days of ebay (we’re talking 1997, before the Aqua lawsuit that Mattel lost)

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 17, 2009
6:26 pm

#96 Brisco01 :

What does this woman have against Barbie?? I am no huge fan myself, but even Barbie deserves more in life than to be used to create such hideous, meaningless, self indulgent drivel such as this!! Cease and desist lady!

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 17, 2009
7:29 pm

#97 The Runaway Lawyer :

Attempted is the key – if you fail to sue, even a bad case, it shows you don’t care much about your brand and can look bad in later cases. I don’t doubt that they went after anyone and everyone and legally, they almost have to, even if it make them look like assholes.

I can hound Mr. lawyer for more details if we want – he’s the one with the IP degree, not me – I’m more of a business/real estate gal.

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 17, 2009
7:48 pm

#98 ihatecowls :

her shop is truly scary

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 17, 2009
9:31 pm

#99 Roxyblonde451 :

She managed to remove biblical, but couldn’t find it in her to remove christmas, much less spell check everything she’s had pointed out to her? Amazing.

I know I’m always searching for accessaries!

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 20, 2009
9:52 am

#100 Calophi :

Roxy: Oh I know, I love accessaries and matieials. =D

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 23, 2009
6:17 pm

#101 BettyMachete :

Spice Girls Reunion Tour

Rate this comment: +2