This is really supposed to be a poodle? This looks like what would happen if one didn’t mutant-proof the electrical sockets around one’s house. Michael Jacksonesque nose, a hoof, the kind of mouth that you’d find on a drooling “slow” toddler… I just don’t get it. I never will.
That stinks! Whoever wrote the e-mail… I’d like to offer you a free silhouette of your pet. I don’t sell pet portraits, but I’ve done them before. Certainly looked better than that one.
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Wind shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?
I immediately thought she sent a silhouette of the heat miser. Apparently, I am not alone and that disturbs me to no end. This is a crime to charge any money for any of this. Ugh.
Ouch. I’m vaguely reminded of a seller I wandered across who sold pencil drawings of photos. They looked like they’d had some help via photoshop or some sort of tracing mechanism much like I assume this er, silhouette had. Not very handmade to me.
But I think my cat would be easier to silhouette cause he’s rather fat and potato-shaped.
P.S. silhouette is a hard word to spell correctly! What’s a good whimsicle spelling? Silowet?
you know. i’d offer to draw her dog and i could probably do a much better job on some paper and pencil that this guy did in a crap ass Freehand 7.0 program
im a little busy making web graphics
i think in guna have to agree it’s Definatly a chupacabra
Nice song StreetCornerHooker .. it fits it really fits
@ 38 I love the song! It’s way better than the portrait! But then how do we know this little innocent “poodle” doesn’t really look like this? Maybe the owner is a crazy scientist…
I laughed so hard last night when I saw it that I peed my pants. Almost did the same thing again this morning upon viewing it for a second time! This truly is hideous! We reallllllly need to see the original picture so we can compare. Now, off to change my pants again!
Holy shit, this man-puppy is adorable! It has some serious carni-action going on and I LOVE IT. I love the itty-bitty tongue, the pointy bat ear, the Bart Simpsons hair do, and the cloven hoof. A-FUCKING-DORABLE.
As a full-time professional papercut/silhouette artist, I am completely appalled and would like to offer this poor person a free silhouette to show her what REAL papercut artists can do!
“I have almost achieved perfection you see, of a divine creature that is pure, harmonious, absolutely incapable of any malice. And if in my tinkering I have fallen short of the human form by the snout, claw or hoof, it really is of no great importance.”
That’s really, really terrible…it’s almost like the seller woke up one day and said ‘hmmm, silhouettes look really easy to do, why don’t I sign up to Etsy and make some extra money, do cute little doggies and charge people money for it. I can’t cut a straight line to save my life…but no worries, no one will notice because pet sillouettes are soooooo cute…and eeeevvvveryone is doing it!’
#90, i am bean:
THAT is EXACTLY what I’m thinking. I’ve got some scissors and some construction paper, so please send pictures of your demon spawn post-haste!
November 15, 2009 at 7:05 pm
I’m sorry about your poodle. You fed it after midnight didn’t you?
November 15, 2009 at 7:06 pm
That poor puppy has a hoof!
November 15, 2009 at 7:08 pm
Just wow, I hope that they didn’t make you pay for that. I’d kind of like to see the original pic.
November 15, 2009 at 7:09 pm
oh my, he has a Michael Jackson nose, a bow in his werewolf head, and a cape (notice no hair on his back?)…yes, and a hoof, #2
November 15, 2009 at 7:11 pm
It’s like a cross between yoda and gollum
November 15, 2009 at 7:14 pm
Oh my, I would be curious to know how much she was going to charge for that POS!
November 15, 2009 at 7:14 pm
hey, they can make a “reborn” doll of this…just think of the possibilities!!!
November 15, 2009 at 7:15 pm
This is “Where The Wild Things Are”…
November 15, 2009 at 7:15 pm
damn.. i’d be pissed if i paid for this… it’s BLATANTLY made in the program Freehand 7 and poorly at that.
November 15, 2009 at 7:15 pm
I was going to ask if the puppie’s name was Yoda.
In fact, perhaps this is Mr. Heat Miser’s pet. Calophi?
Funny, Jea. You are #1.
November 15, 2009 at 7:19 pm
that would be the “puppy’s” name. doh.
November 15, 2009 at 7:19 pm
Is this a “Where The Wild Things Are” version of your dog? Because it’s great if that’s what you wanted! Hahaha
November 15, 2009 at 7:23 pm
This looks like one of those monsters the History Channel is always looking for.
November 15, 2009 at 7:25 pm
That’s really really really really really really really terrible.
November 15, 2009 at 7:28 pm
This is really supposed to be a poodle? This looks like what would happen if one didn’t mutant-proof the electrical sockets around one’s house. Michael Jacksonesque nose, a hoof, the kind of mouth that you’d find on a drooling “slow” toddler… I just don’t get it. I never will.
November 15, 2009 at 7:28 pm
Okay, vectoring is easy, especially if you’re fucking TRACING! What the hell!
November 15, 2009 at 7:30 pm
Is….is its mouth hanging open? Does it have a human face? Seriously, what am I LOOKING AT HERE?
November 15, 2009 at 7:30 pm
it’s the legendary chupacabra…
November 15, 2009 at 7:35 pm
I think you must have sent a pic of my mother-in-law by mistake.
November 15, 2009 at 7:41 pm
I would love to see what you sent her.
November 15, 2009 at 7:43 pm
I would too, Jojo. I’ll see if she’ll send it to me.
November 15, 2009 at 7:45 pm
To be fair… we would need to see the original photo.
November 15, 2009 at 7:46 pm
This is a puppy? Oh, I SO want to know who the seller is …
November 15, 2009 at 7:53 pm
Yes @ #22, we’d have to see the photo to make sure the dog doesn’t actually have one hoof and a feather duster up his ass.
November 15, 2009 at 7:59 pm
#10: I don’t know, I have a feeling this thing has a face not even Heatmiser could love. o.O
November 15, 2009 at 8:00 pm
That stinks! Whoever wrote the e-mail… I’d like to offer you a free silhouette of your pet. I don’t sell pet portraits, but I’ve done them before. Certainly looked better than that one.
November 15, 2009 at 8:13 pm
@ #26, I forwarded your info to the person who submitted this (I’m a little leery of emails and other personal info being posted in the comments).
November 15, 2009 at 8:25 pm
my husband and I both thought chupacabra. Someone needs to report that seller to the humane society..poor puppy
November 15, 2009 at 8:34 pm
C’mon, now! What if the dog really looks like that? You’re going to give the poor thing a complex!
November 15, 2009 at 8:35 pm
Paris and Perez Hilton had a child, you are looking at that child’s silhouette.
November 15, 2009 at 8:43 pm
To be fair, we should see the picture you gave them. You could’ve given them a picture of my hairy brother for all I know!
November 15, 2009 at 8:45 pm
Two people: TEEN WOLF
http://www.impawards.com/1985/posters/teen_wolf.jpg
November 15, 2009 at 8:46 pm
(Sorry I got a little excited!) Two WORDS people: TEEN WOLF
http://www.impawards.com/1985/posters/teen_wolf.jpg
November 15, 2009 at 9:23 pm
If you stare at it a long time…it moves.
November 15, 2009 at 9:40 pm
Lexii your MIL comment def made me LOL. Nice.
November 15, 2009 at 9:49 pm
I feel a song in my now, guys.
THE BALLAD OF THE PUPPY
One day a man rolled into town
And brought with him a cage
He told the people to gather ’round
As he set up on a stage
We held our breaths as he opened the locks
“Don’t be afraid,” he said
“It’s just a puppy” — but then inside the box
We saw a monster instead
Oooh, puppy!
With hooves instead of paws
Oooh, puppy!
It’s tail had ten sharp claws
Oooh, puppy!
It was the puppy
The puppy that came from Satan
November 15, 2009 at 9:49 pm
Its hair stood up where it wasn’t bald
It’s nose looked like a man’s
It burned the earth wherever it sprawled
And it looked like it had plans
It wore a shirt over its hump
Its jaw was made of bread
When it turned around and took a dump
Someone fell over dead
Oooh, puppy!
Its ears were like a bat’s
Oooh, puppy!
It ate the flesh off cats
Oooh, puppy!
It was the puppy
The puppy that came from Satan
November 15, 2009 at 9:50 pm
The man packed up when he saw no buyers
And sneered as we drew back
Drove off so fast smoke came from his tires
Which left a thick black track
We were just glad it went without brawl
But then I saw one night
That dog was listed as “whimsical”
On some little craft website
Oooh, puppy!
It went for forty bucks
Oooh, puppy!
The seller’s rating sucks
Oooh, puppy!
It was the puppy
The puppy that came from Satan
Oooh, puppy!
It was the puppy
The puppy that came from Satan!
November 15, 2009 at 10:01 pm
OMG!! Toto really got fucked up in that tornado with Dorothy didn’t he! Yikes!!
November 15, 2009 at 10:08 pm
Might it be V*** at ******erstudio?
It’s no good, man.
November 15, 2009 at 11:17 pm
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Wind shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?
November 15, 2009 at 11:18 pm
The more I look at this and attempt to see a poodle the more hilarious it becomes to me. I really can’t make sense of what I’m looking at here.
November 15, 2009 at 11:37 pm
I’m seeing Eddie Munster’s head on the body of a terrier.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eddie_Munster
November 15, 2009 at 11:48 pm
I immediately thought she sent a silhouette of the heat miser. Apparently, I am not alone and that disturbs me to no end. This is a crime to charge any money for any of this. Ugh.
November 16, 2009 at 12:37 am
Ouch. I’m vaguely reminded of a seller I wandered across who sold pencil drawings of photos. They looked like they’d had some help via photoshop or some sort of tracing mechanism much like I assume this er, silhouette had. Not very handmade to me.
But I think my cat would be easier to silhouette cause he’s rather fat and potato-shaped.
P.S. silhouette is a hard word to spell correctly! What’s a good whimsicle spelling? Silowet?
November 16, 2009 at 12:38 am
you know. i’d offer to draw her dog and i could probably do a much better job on some paper and pencil that this guy did in a crap ass Freehand 7.0 program
im a little busy making web graphics
i think in guna have to agree it’s Definatly a chupacabra
Nice song StreetCornerHooker .. it fits it really fits
November 16, 2009 at 1:33 am
I think I saw that dog at a Gorillaz concert. Couldn’t figure out where I had seen it.
November 16, 2009 at 1:39 am
@ 38 I love the song! It’s way better than the portrait! But then how do we know this little innocent “poodle” doesn’t really look like this? Maybe the owner is a crazy scientist…
November 16, 2009 at 1:43 am
I hate silhouettes.
November 16, 2009 at 1:48 am
Check out the date the seller sent the proof: Friday the 13. Say no more.
November 16, 2009 at 2:08 am
It has Michael Jackson’s nose.
November 16, 2009 at 2:11 am
I’m going to have to say “fox with mange”…
November 16, 2009 at 2:43 am
I hate to tell you this, but your poodle is one of the flying monkeys from Wizard of Oz.
If my dog was that ugly, I’d shave its ass and teach it to walk backwards.
November 16, 2009 at 2:56 am
Oh LOL its a man-poodle!!
November 16, 2009 at 3:16 am
Holy crap, it’s that thing that came out of that machine in The Fly II.
November 16, 2009 at 4:32 am
Oh my lans! Wow, either I have no f’ing idea what a poodle looks like or this is terrible…
Unless this poodle doused itself with water, took a bath in super stiff hair gel and then stuck it’s paw in a light socket — well then, wow…
I am so glad I have a fish.
November 16, 2009 at 4:35 am
LOL. The Tattler’s “ass…backwards” joke cracked me up.
November 16, 2009 at 5:10 am
Maybe that’s his ear on the left side and not it’s nose. It could be the angle of the actual pic. I really want to see the original.
Either way, would not have paid for this.
November 16, 2009 at 5:20 am
HOLY SHIT it’s like a clone from that episode of family guy last night.
November 16, 2009 at 5:36 am
#47 You’re right, it definitely does look Gorillaz-like. Perhaps it’s something Murdoc summoned from the depths of hell?
November 16, 2009 at 6:51 am
I laughed so hard last night when I saw it that I peed my pants. Almost did the same thing again this morning upon viewing it for a second time! This truly is hideous! We reallllllly need to see the original picture so we can compare. Now, off to change my pants again!
November 16, 2009 at 6:55 am
Off to go search for sellers with the word studio in their name and silhouettes in their items…….
November 16, 2009 at 6:56 am
Seems like pet silhouettes are all the rage.
Check out this Shih Tzu (I think you can leave off the ‘zu.’)
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=26727535
November 16, 2009 at 6:57 am
#36-#38 Street Corner Hooker: Best. Ballad. EVERRRR!!!
November 16, 2009 at 7:10 am
#63…that looks like a ski hat with a huge bumble on the top LOL!
November 16, 2009 at 7:14 am
Holy shit, this man-puppy is adorable! It has some serious carni-action going on and I LOVE IT. I love the itty-bitty tongue, the pointy bat ear, the Bart Simpsons hair do, and the cloven hoof. A-FUCKING-DORABLE.
Where can I get a dog like this?
November 16, 2009 at 7:18 am
#66 Efit, I’m sure Satan is taking custom orders if you would like to have a half-demon-dingo bred just for you! YOOOOOWL
November 16, 2009 at 7:30 am
http://showclix.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/calendario-gollum.jpg
Just add spiky fur
November 16, 2009 at 7:31 am
#67 VoteAudrey – Excellent! Tho this surprises me. This man-puppy looks way too cute to be bred in the bowels of H-E-Double Hockey Sticks.
November 16, 2009 at 7:51 am
I would be livid. This can’t be real. hahaha!
November 16, 2009 at 8:06 am
Reminds me of the dog-man from the remake of “The Invasion of the Body Snatchers”
http://www.retrocrush.com/scary/80.html
November 16, 2009 at 8:10 am
Spoodle: half Satan / half poodle
November 16, 2009 at 8:13 am
As a full-time professional papercut/silhouette artist, I am completely appalled and would like to offer this poor person a free silhouette to show her what REAL papercut artists can do!
November 16, 2009 at 8:15 am
Vote Audry: Is that a monkey or a dog?!
November 16, 2009 at 8:56 am
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=34276385
Poodle Silhouette done right.
November 16, 2009 at 9:04 am
Maybe a dingo ate your poodle?
November 16, 2009 at 9:16 am
@ #76 thefrog:
And threw it back up?
HAHA is it me or does the poodle seem to have a dracula cape? OMG IT’S A WIMSIKLE TWIDOG!
November 16, 2009 at 9:36 am
Good grief–the silhouette looks like it’s gagging at *itself*.
November 16, 2009 at 9:38 am
I know I’m not the only one who sees the resemblance:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/shescomeunstrung/4109133865/
November 16, 2009 at 11:06 am
I’d one of the litter…name it after it’s bitch.
Rosemary
November 16, 2009 at 11:53 am
I had a dream about this scary beast last night. Woke up crying.
November 16, 2009 at 12:00 pm
Obviously tired…please note:
I would “like” one of the litter…..
November 16, 2009 at 12:09 pm
Someone call Ed Elric to put the poor chimera out of its misery.
November 16, 2009 at 1:24 pm
Preserve your fond memories of the night your father murdered your mother with this handsome papercutting: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=33491896&ref=sr_gallery_2&&ga_search_query=papercutting&ga_search_type=all&ga_page=4&includes=tags_exact
November 16, 2009 at 1:37 pm
#79 thefrog:
My laptop is now full of diet coke and spittle. I needed that.
November 16, 2009 at 2:57 pm
#84 babalu! That’s great. Haaahaaa (nope, i got nothing more clever than that)
November 16, 2009 at 5:35 pm
It looks as if your dog is staring in disbelief… probably at the artwork you ordered.
Does that make it one of those infinite mirror things?
November 16, 2009 at 7:01 pm
ahahahahah
comment #1 for the win
November 16, 2009 at 11:45 pm
“I have almost achieved perfection you see, of a divine creature that is pure, harmonious, absolutely incapable of any malice. And if in my tinkering I have fallen short of the human form by the snout, claw or hoof, it really is of no great importance.”
November 17, 2009 at 9:58 am
That’s really, really terrible…it’s almost like the seller woke up one day and said ‘hmmm, silhouettes look really easy to do, why don’t I sign up to Etsy and make some extra money, do cute little doggies and charge people money for it. I can’t cut a straight line to save my life…but no worries, no one will notice because pet sillouettes are soooooo cute…and eeeevvvveryone is doing it!’
November 18, 2009 at 2:05 am
Maybe if the poodle had been electrocuted….?
November 18, 2009 at 4:10 pm
#90, i am bean:
THAT is EXACTLY what I’m thinking. I’ve got some scissors and some construction paper, so please send pictures of your demon spawn post-haste!
November 20, 2009 at 10:12 pm
Manbearpig is real!
December 17, 2009 at 7:09 pm
#93:
Dear God…you’re right! O.o