192

Sunglasses Not Included

Am I the only one who thinks this looks like baby David Caruso?

192 comments on Sunglasses Not Included

  1. knottyrye
    November 13, 2009 at 4:41 pm

    what…the fuck?

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  2. everydaymama
    November 13, 2009 at 4:42 pm

    Looks creepy!! Like half monkey half emaciated child… Someone is starving their doll!

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  3. Tdogdd
    November 13, 2009 at 4:42 pm

    This is creepy way to realistic and it looks like it has a rash

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  4. sKate
    November 13, 2009 at 4:42 pm

    WTF does “reborn” mean?

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  5. digitalduchess
    November 13, 2009 at 4:43 pm

    Holy shitballs! That rates up there with clowns in creepy factor….

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  6. Stacie
    November 13, 2009 at 4:43 pm

    This may be the creepiest thing you’ve ever shown. WTF?!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  7. comma_splicer
    November 13, 2009 at 4:47 pm

    Caruso’s eyes aren’t freaky enough for that doll to be him. . . but I could be persuaded if it comes equipped with a pack of really terrible one-liners.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  8. crapgawker
    November 13, 2009 at 4:48 pm

    Just horrible. I know I’m going to wake up screaming tonight.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  9. anti-flamitory
    November 13, 2009 at 4:49 pm

    when taxidermy goes too far…

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

  10. Tdogdd
    November 13, 2009 at 4:49 pm

    This is haunted house scary

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  11. CraftingBlues
    November 13, 2009 at 4:49 pm

    #4 Skate Reborn is when they make a doll look exactly like a real baby so people(usually old creepy people) can take care of them without having to worry that they’ll grow up. They usually don’t look as creepy as this though…

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  12. Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell
    November 13, 2009 at 4:50 pm

    potato beads? have you a photo?

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  13. dangerousmezzo
    November 13, 2009 at 4:51 pm

    Holy fuck, that is THE SCARIEST doll I have ever seen. Totally looks like David Caruso, too. It should come with a pair of sunglasses so it can take them off.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  14. Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell
    November 13, 2009 at 4:52 pm

    Sorry, this one fried my cerebellum. Helen, the resemblance is uncanny, what’s more uncanny is that you spotted it. “You really are the brightest witch of your age”.

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  15. CraftingBlues
    November 13, 2009 at 4:52 pm

    OMG ITS EYES FOLLOW YOU ACROSS THE ROOM! *closes laptop and rinces eyes out with acid*

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  16. quozzity
    November 13, 2009 at 4:52 pm

    the people that make and buy these things scare the crap out of me!

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  17. Redshirt Knitting
    November 13, 2009 at 4:53 pm

    Ugh ugh eek, reborn dolls! SO CREEPY. #11 CraftingBlues nails it. More info:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reborn_doll

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  18. dangerousmezzo
    November 13, 2009 at 4:53 pm

    Oh, and I like the photo you picked for the listing, Helen, better than the one the seller picked. Why are all her photos of this abortion sideways? My fave is the second one, which screams, “No, Daddy, I’ll be good …”

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  19. Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell
    November 13, 2009 at 4:53 pm

    #11, thanks, I was wondering too. Do you know what the magnets do?

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  20. Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell
    November 13, 2009 at 4:53 pm

    I AM SO SCARED!

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  21. Stingray Charles
    November 13, 2009 at 4:53 pm

    “Sweet” my ass! The magnets in that creepy little bastard can short out a pacemaker in two seconds.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  22. dangerousmezzo
    November 13, 2009 at 4:54 pm

    Oh, and I like the photo you picked for the listing, Helen, better than the one the seller picked. Why are all her photos of this abortion sideways? My fave is the second one, which screams, “No, Daddy, I’ll be good …”

    And note that it will kill people with pacemakers. How about people scared of freaky little deformed undead babies?

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  23. marimoy
    November 13, 2009 at 4:56 pm

    Oh. Scary! O_o

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  24. worldfamousfudgy
    November 13, 2009 at 4:58 pm

    Dear Lord, that is, HANDS DOWN, the creepiest and most horrifying thing I have EVER seen. And I have seen some pretty scary business! Please, tell me, WHO IN THE HELL would want this…this…this THING!?

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  25. Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell
    November 13, 2009 at 4:58 pm

    #17, thanks for the link, “Reborn dolls are also known as living dolls or unliving dolls” – Wikipedia. I’m no longer snarking, I’m really getting freaked out.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  26. everydaymama
    November 13, 2009 at 5:00 pm

    #19, the magnets are there to hold the pacifier and toys to the baby… But they can also kill you or erase your bank cards ;P

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  27. Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell
    November 13, 2009 at 5:00 pm

    BUMP
    Everyone should click the link at #17, thanks again Redshirt Knitting.

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  28. panik
    November 13, 2009 at 5:00 pm

    Frankenstein’s baby monster
    “it lives” (kinda)

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  29. CraftingBlues
    November 13, 2009 at 5:01 pm

    #19 Kamikaze… Its to hold the ‘MAGNETIC BINKY’ in place. But why would the magnet be so strong? Makes you wonder were else the binky attaches to…

    btw, why do sellers always think you want to keep reading the description when its ALL IN CAPS? It makes me say ‘NEXT’

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  30. Monstrosa
    November 13, 2009 at 5:03 pm

    Is it supposed to look like a human/chimp hybrid?
    AN SWEET GINGER HUMANZEE WITH DEADLY, DEADLY MAGNETS. SO REALISTIC HE WILL COME TO LIFE AND KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  31. Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell
    November 13, 2009 at 5:03 pm

    Thank you @26 & @29.
    Hey @21 Stingray Charles, caught up to you on How Know, hope you saw, anyway, congratulations.

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  32. tarabu
    November 13, 2009 at 5:04 pm

    I still do not understand why people want these – what the hell happened to just bronzing their booties?

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  33. Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell
    November 13, 2009 at 5:04 pm

    #32
    Shit, How Now I mean.

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  34. NinjaGato
    November 13, 2009 at 5:04 pm

    I was going to say that the rug on it’s head made it look like Donald Trump but yeah I totally see David Caruso.

    Does anyone remember the South Park “Kick the Baby” episode where Stan tells his little brother Ike to do his “impression of David Caruso’s career” and Ike does a swan dive and lands headfirst into the snow?

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  35. everydaymama
    November 13, 2009 at 5:05 pm

    I think the people that carry these things around are creepiest of all! Sick sick sick!!

    “There are several examples of families who have put their reborn dolls in a room with actual children. They throw birthday parties for them (I have to assume it’s the same birthday every year), take them to the playground, and invite friends over for baby showers”.
    http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1356753/the_reborn_doll_phenomenon.html

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  36. Helen Killer
    November 13, 2009 at 5:05 pm

    @ #30, See that one looks like Kevin Costner.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  37. Cold Salt
    November 13, 2009 at 5:05 pm

    Real Dolls are totally less freaky than this Reborn baby dolls.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  38. Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell
    November 13, 2009 at 5:05 pm

    Yeah, whatever baby hater.

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  39. NinjaGato
    November 13, 2009 at 5:06 pm

    I really hope that this isn’t based on a real baby, because DAMN that thing would have had terrible genes.
    That kid doesn’t have a forehead it has a fivehead.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  40. Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell
    November 13, 2009 at 5:07 pm

    #37, Helen, thank you! Real time proof you are amazing, can you see famous people in real babies too?

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  41. dangerousmezzo
    November 13, 2009 at 5:09 pm

    You MUST look at this one: Lunch Money/Key Bag Necklace? WTF.

    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=16885365

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  42. worldfamousfudgy
    November 13, 2009 at 5:10 pm

    @ #36 everydaymama:

    Holy Crap! Why have I never heard about this? Can’t people just get a dog or a cat? Or a hobby? Or maybe just check themselves into a “facility?” This is cuh-razy!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  43. whyohwhy
    November 13, 2009 at 5:11 pm

    So creepy. Can you imagine if human babies really looked like this?

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  44. CraftingBlues
    November 13, 2009 at 5:11 pm

    If this… thing… were in my house I could never sleep, eat, or breathe. I’d have to set it on fire. If I EVER see it in someone else’s house, I shall also set it on fire and then set fire to the witch that bought it.

    Oh! Mabey Granny Montana will buy it and raise it to be the next Hannah! She IS creepy enough.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  45. DucksNew
    November 13, 2009 at 5:12 pm

    Oh my f***…holy hell, I think this beats out the cow skull for me. They don’t have to be hideous, #30 Jea’s link shows that…why oh why? AND WHY IS THE SELLER SCREAMING? Are the dolls possessed? Are they trying to murder the seller?

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  46. NinjaGato
    November 13, 2009 at 5:13 pm

    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=34129177

    It’s baby Kate Moss the bulimia baby! Gagging at how lame “reborn babies are”

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  47. pottery123
    November 13, 2009 at 5:14 pm

    OMG…I don’t want to sleep alone to night.

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  48. lissonifan
    November 13, 2009 at 5:16 pm

    From the Wikipedia article: “the dolls often come with fake birth certificates or adoption certificates.” The birther mystery solved at last: Obama is a reborn doll. Someone call Orly Taitz!

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  49. crapgawker
    November 13, 2009 at 5:17 pm

    @#42 – OMG dangerousmezzo – I know – what the hell is THAT all about? Man this is one twisted sister making this crap.

    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=16885365

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  50. worldfamousfudgy
    November 13, 2009 at 5:18 pm

    I am still in some form of shock here. Do people really find these things “cute?” Not to be overly-realistic here, but they look like real DECEASED infants. There is nothing cute about a dead child. At least not in my universe.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  51. Jea
    November 13, 2009 at 5:18 pm

    I asked my 6yrold what he thought of the doll. He insisted it was a real baby. He doesn’t believe you can’t sell babies online.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  52. VoteAudrey
    November 13, 2009 at 5:18 pm

    Yeah, I watched a BBC special on “reborn” babies. You have to see the documentary to even remotely understand what is going on here. And then you can die knowing you’ve been properly disturbed.

    And according to the “reliable” source of TMZ, David Caruso has lil’ photo autographed cards he can just hand out to people. He keeps ‘em as a timesaver. I think the seller should contact Mr. Caruso, as I’m sure he’d be eager to send a card for the proud parent of this doll.

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  53. Monstrosa
    November 13, 2009 at 5:18 pm

    #45 CraftingBlues :
    LMAO! I’m with you. Fire is the only way.

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  54. martini
    November 13, 2009 at 5:19 pm

    ET… Phone home. We found your baby.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  55. loopy lou
    November 13, 2009 at 5:20 pm

    I think this “baby” also looks a lot like Jerry Stiller. http://www.buzzine.com/media/data/albums/7/Jerry_Stiller_20071011.jpg

    I lOVE Regretsy, by the way.

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  56. VoteAudrey
    November 13, 2009 at 5:20 pm

    #42 dangerousmezzo & #50 crapgawker – I am seriously surprised this didn’t make the gag gift guide list. At $6, it’s a steal…

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  57. Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell
    November 13, 2009 at 5:21 pm

    @#48 pottery123: you can come over to my house, I’ll watch over you cause I’M NEVER SLEEPING AGAIN AS LONG AS I LIVE. This shit is real! And people call me a pervert!

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  58. comma_splicer
    November 13, 2009 at 5:21 pm

    #42 dangerousmezzo, that one stood out to me too. Some of her redone fashion dolls look like there was thought put into them, but that. . . that’s proof that inside any of us there might be a freaky Barbie-head-fetishizing monster waiting to come out.

    And #38 Cold Salt, I am gonna say that Real Dolls are still way, way more messed up than these reborn dolls, which are indeed sort of messed up.

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  59. jojo
    November 13, 2009 at 5:22 pm

    I remember seeing these on ebay a few years ago and reading everything I could about them. I was amazed and mortified at the same time. But this one…OMG it is terrifyingly BAD. What baby wears a merkin at that age!

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  60. everydaymama
    November 13, 2009 at 5:22 pm

    #53 VoteAudrey : Here’s the documentary from BBC, and many MORE odd videos are on the right sidebar too.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PzEqYhUZAoc

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  61. Jea
    November 13, 2009 at 5:23 pm
  62. Cold Salt
    November 13, 2009 at 5:25 pm

    I dunno… something about those Reborn dolls.

    Anyway, is this sort of thing even OK to sell on Etsy? Is the seller handcrafting these herself? Somehow I doubt it.

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  63. NinjaGato
    November 13, 2009 at 5:30 pm

    There are people who actually make those dolls, so she probably does make them herself. The BBC doc posted in 61 talks about a woman who “sculpts” them.

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  64. VoteAudrey
    November 13, 2009 at 5:30 pm

    #61 everydaymama thanks for spreading the terror; as #62 Jea said, it’s creepy yet fascinating. Like most scary movies, we just can’t turn away!

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  65. Frankenkitty
    November 13, 2009 at 5:41 pm

    It’s never too early for a comb over. I kind of want him in my life.

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  66. TooManyCookbooks
    November 13, 2009 at 5:54 pm

    I opened a new tab to show the spouse today’s horrors and let out a stream of terrified gibberish. The Baby David Caruso toy helped keep me from dropping my laptop and running away, screaming.

    Only just.

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  67. everydaymama
    November 13, 2009 at 5:57 pm

    #66 VoteAudrey :

    #61 everydaymama thanks for spreading the terror
    ———–

    Glad I could help ;P

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  68. crumbly
    November 13, 2009 at 6:04 pm

    dangerousmezzo is right about the threat to folks with pacemakers; my heart is (was) perfectly fine, but the palpitations I’m experiencing now are worrying me.
    I want to know who buys this stuff, so I never ever make the mistake of wandering into their homes. *shudder*

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  69. gnommy
    November 13, 2009 at 6:08 pm

    NO. NO. no. no. no. no. no. no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.

    (*noooooooooooooooooo!*)

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  70. YippySkippy
    November 13, 2009 at 6:12 pm

    As fellow members of the human race, all of us have a a duty and an obligation to find David Caruso, sedate him as humanely as possible, and perform an immediate, emergency vasectomy. Allowing him to breed is not an option.

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  71. hammerhead77
    November 13, 2009 at 6:13 pm

    Baby Caruso looks like he borrowed Baby Trump’s toupee.

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  72. sar-sar
    November 13, 2009 at 6:15 pm

    baby Caruso looks creepy as fuck.
    holy shit, who would pay $159.00 for this awful monstrosity?

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  73. milkshakesthecat
    November 13, 2009 at 6:23 pm

    Sunglasses? I need eye bleach.

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  74. sugar
    November 13, 2009 at 6:25 pm

    ooh baby. I’ve been waiting for one of these to show up on regretsy…
    I love that they can fuck up your pacemaker. File under how to rid yourself of a creepy auntie or neighbor?

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  75. Crossed Promise
    November 13, 2009 at 6:31 pm

    #42- that seller freaks me out!! All of those refurbished barbies look like bad drag queens. All the lines are uneven and creepified by her all caps descriptions. I sure as hell hope they’re one of a kind…christ.

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  76. tdmac
    November 13, 2009 at 6:31 pm

    Wow. This beautiful stillborn child is pretty sweet too!

    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=34197591

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  77. tabbycat2482
    November 13, 2009 at 6:35 pm

    i think if i had a baby that looked like that i would have to kill myself. i hope it wasn’t based off someone’s real baby. *shudders*

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  78. projectkennedy
    November 13, 2009 at 6:36 pm

    rooted light brown hair…

    the whole doll is rooted..

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  79. sugar
    November 13, 2009 at 6:39 pm

    oh, people who are into these dolls often push the baby dolls around in strollers and talk to them, I met one once. There was a screen, so it looked like a real baby at first, but then you noticed it wasn’t moving. If someone asked about how old it was, or if it was a boy or girl, the lady would talk about it as if it were alive. She would admit it was a doll eventually, which led to people backing away slowly and getting as far from her as possible. So fucked up.

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  80. Rob T Firefly
    November 13, 2009 at 6:41 pm

    Good lord, David Caruso knocked up his RealDoll.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  81. quantuminsanity
    November 13, 2009 at 6:43 pm

    Aaah! Aaah! Aaah! What IS that??

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  82. quantuminsanity
    November 13, 2009 at 6:44 pm

    I think it’s the hair. If it didn’t have hair it would just look like an ugly baby. With all that hair it looks like some sort of old man baby…

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  83. Helen Killer
    November 13, 2009 at 6:46 pm

    @ #82, Oh Rob, you made me laugh. Why didn’t I think of that? I could have saved myself an hour of Photoshop.

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  84. Frogsnew
    November 13, 2009 at 7:01 pm

    My 16 year old: “If they forced teens to ‘care’ for these in a parenting class isntead of bags of flour, it would curb teen pregnancy!”

    She also says she’ll have nightmares now. I think I will too.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  85. Cold Salt
    November 13, 2009 at 7:01 pm

    #78, Oooooh, creepy! Looks like the well-reserved 2-year old Sicilian girl from the 20′s I saw in some documentary on embalming or somesuch.

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  86. TooFewShoes
    November 13, 2009 at 7:04 pm

    Scary baby who can kill? No thanks.

    Also, it looks like it’s been beat.

    Abused, hairy, scary baby with magnetic killing powers? Pass, and maybe we should call Batman.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  87. budgey
    November 13, 2009 at 7:06 pm

    at first i thought: if someone needed a “baby” that was this realistic, then they should just HAVE one. then i realized the error in that logic; anyone creepy and fucked up enough to actually want one of these could only produce offspring that was destined to turn into a serial killer.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  88. kurtis
    November 13, 2009 at 7:17 pm
  89. imwithya
    November 13, 2009 at 7:21 pm

    GOOD GOD! I screamed out loud when I saw IT.

    whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

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  90. imwithya
    November 13, 2009 at 7:35 pm

    #87 That Sicilian mummy girl is adorable compared to these dolls. Some of them are just horrific! Scarier than a real preserved human child.

    http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3805/05_2009/106d40a4caf64c2d_090126-sicilly-mummy_big.jpg

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  91. Cold Salt
    November 13, 2009 at 7:36 pm

    #90, not buying it till I see the dazzle.

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  92. jeffreyrcarey
    November 13, 2009 at 7:43 pm

    Oh, just look at him.

    Yeah, he really is breathtaking!

    (totally and absolutely freaky. inbred?)

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  93. ozymandias
    November 13, 2009 at 7:47 pm

    That wiki link has totally scared the crap out of me. There are some very f-ed-up people out there (buyers AND sellers!)

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  94. Lexiii
    November 13, 2009 at 7:47 pm

    #30 That woman makes the crappiest reborns ever. If you want to see good ones, go look around ebay. There are some artists who actually do a nice job and don’t complete one doll a day. A good reborn takes weeks.

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  95. ohboycattoy
    November 13, 2009 at 7:52 pm

    Looking at that is like birth control for me

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  96. Monstrosa
    November 13, 2009 at 7:53 pm

    #88 TooFewShoes :
    “Abused, hairy, scary baby with magnetic killing powers? Pass, and maybe we should call Batman.”

    Good idea! Though, it kinda looks like a baby Modok:
    http://goodcomics.comicbookresources.com/2007/01/17/365-reasons-to-love-comics-17/

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  97. whyohwhy
    November 13, 2009 at 8:00 pm

    Lots of creepy reborns out there:
    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=34330724

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  98. FloridaKitsch
    November 13, 2009 at 8:01 pm

    It reminds me of a stillborn :-/ Scary! Also, my mom used to look after this elderly lady that had a whole collection of these she “looked after”. They had their own room and everything. She was kind of nuts though. She never married and lived alone and kept the babies for company. I later found out that she had been sexually assaulted when she was younger by a relative which explains why she had issues but it was still creepy to come into her house and see all those dolls staring at you^_^

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  99. bchez
    November 13, 2009 at 8:02 pm

    I certainly hope…..
    *slide glasses down nose**
    You are not making fun of Horatio Caine…
    Because, if you are…..
    I am going to be back for you…
    Baby….

    Don’t leave town….

    **insert CSI Miami noise here**

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  100. fancy spatula
    November 13, 2009 at 8:04 pm

    Am I the only one who thought $150 was reasonably priced for this magnetized abortion?

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  101. imwithya
    November 13, 2009 at 8:06 pm

    #100 Yah I actually thought that too. But I don’t understand are these people MAKING the faces or just painting them. Because if they are buying them to paint, why would such an ugly baby face even exist?

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  102. Monstrosa
    November 13, 2009 at 8:07 pm

    #99 Holy Zombie Jesus, that’s ugly! What species is that?

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  103. crumbly
    November 13, 2009 at 8:20 pm

    Oh, oh, whyowhy! That one is something else! Actually, I believe it’s Bruce Dickinson from Iron Maiden….

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  104. vangoghbabe
    November 13, 2009 at 8:21 pm

    Epiphany….thought about having more kids….also need a fridge magnet…could kill two birds with one stone with this …..

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  105. Lexiii
    November 13, 2009 at 8:24 pm

    #101 They are buying vinyl dolls or kits and painting them. In this case…..very badly.

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  106. lilprincess
    November 13, 2009 at 8:44 pm

    Am I the only one who thinks it looks more like a surprised Kevin Bacon?

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  107. vangoghbabe
    November 13, 2009 at 8:49 pm

    skin looks like undercooked bacon

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  108. Cold Salt
    November 13, 2009 at 8:54 pm

    Probably pretty alarmed at the thought of some oddball buying him and treating him like a Real Live Baby.

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  109. ihatecowls
    November 13, 2009 at 8:58 pm

    I actually got a little fright when this appeared on screen

    its the most miserable baby i have ever seen

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  110. smemilyanne
    November 13, 2009 at 9:05 pm

    Perfect example of the Uncanny Valley, I think.

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  111. ihatecowls
    November 13, 2009 at 9:12 pm

    check out the eyebrows on this one:

    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=34127477

    say what?

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  112. Bubblenuts
    November 13, 2009 at 9:22 pm

    Isn’t this “reborn” shit over yet?

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  113. Melissa
    November 13, 2009 at 9:22 pm

    While I find the reborn baby idea disturbing in general, I have seen some from other makers that look like happy, healthy, vibrant babies. After looking at her entire inventory, several of her “reborn” babies look like they are terribly sick, dead, or they look like they have been physically abused. I don’t think it’s a good sign when the first thought that comes to mind is “hey, this baby looks like it’s been beaten!” or “hey, this baby looks like it’s in a comatose state!” Sad.

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  114. Cold Salt
    November 13, 2009 at 9:31 pm


    *** DOLL IS FOR ADULT COLLECTORS ONLY. ***

    This warning has far too many interesting implications.

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  115. syd_bristow
    November 13, 2009 at 9:35 pm

    looks like kevin bacon to me

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  116. Monstrosa
    November 13, 2009 at 9:38 pm

    Badass super villain name: MAGNETIC BINKY.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  117. Efit
    November 13, 2009 at 9:53 pm

    HOLYFUCKINGSHITOHMYGOD.WHAT.THE.FUCK.

    This doll scared me shitless to the point I had to go check on my (sleeping) infant son to make sure he was okay.

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  118. Lysanna
    November 13, 2009 at 10:06 pm

    This doesn’t remind anyone else of Brian Peppers?

    http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Brian_Peppers

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  119. Efit
    November 13, 2009 at 10:16 pm

    @ #78 tdmac – I know someone who works at CPS and I seriously want to call him and report this poor baby who just got a can of whupass opened on him. (ref: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=34197591)

    @ #111 ihatecowls – reminds me of this http://twitpic.com/2qgri – Say What? (Que Dices?)

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  120. Booksanddecaf
    November 13, 2009 at 10:23 pm

    D:

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  121. Night Cowl
    November 13, 2009 at 10:23 pm

    These remind opf the photos they used to take back in the olden days of the dead. Dress babies in their christening outfits, sitting propped up in a chair like they were still alive……creeeeeeeeeeeeee….ppppppppppyyyyyyyyy

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  122. cancerbaby
    November 13, 2009 at 10:30 pm

    I looked into its eyes and now I don’t think I’ll ever stop screaming inside.

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  123. vangoghbabe
    November 13, 2009 at 10:46 pm

    Caruso sent the maker at lease a 5×7 photo for her to create this doll. It does have a lot of charter.

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  124. portable wig
    November 13, 2009 at 11:09 pm

    #117 @ Night Cowl…Those photo’s were a lot less creepy than this doll. They were capturing their child for memories. This is just spastic, nasty and ugh. Even David Caruso probably wasn’t this repellent as a baby.

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  125. DucksNew
    November 13, 2009 at 11:18 pm

    #117: it’s really worse. My ex randomly decided to collect those pics. Got sick of them just as suddenly. So I kind of became caretaker of the photos. It felt OK because I felt like the people in the pics (including infants) were loved so much by someone at some time. These dolls, if they’re loved like that, it’s beyond creepy. Plus none of the pics were open-eyed. Or in full grotesque color (most just black & white, some had coloring done to the photo itself).

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  126. DucksNew
    November 13, 2009 at 11:22 pm

    I found the pictures to be sad and often in somewhat bad taste but photography back then was costly so these pics were sometimes the only photos people had of their loved ones. Kind of a touching tribute in a way, or a twisted souvenir (we even had some that were made into postcards).

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  127. Holly Weird
    November 13, 2009 at 11:30 pm

    I’ll be the first to admit that reborn dolls (and real babies for that matter) terrify me, but this is some serious Stephen King shit.

    My god, that’s scary.

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  128. PokerFace
    November 13, 2009 at 11:49 pm

    Looks like Michael from Halloween. If my baby came out looking like that I would give it to an orphanage…..in some far away land…where he could never find me. Looks like he should have been born with a butcher knife in his hand.

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  129. creepydolls
    November 13, 2009 at 11:49 pm

    The doll is creepy- no doubt about that.
    But it is well done.
    My daughter had weird rashes all the time when she was a baby- would I want to remember that always?… no BUT hey, to each her own.

    As for people collecting these- how is it any different that collecting realistic action figures of Johnny Depp ? Some people may be wacky (no argument there) but MAYBE some people love to collect dolls that are realistic and not just simplified versions of real babies.

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  130. PokerFace
    November 13, 2009 at 11:55 pm
  131. Stingray Charles
    November 13, 2009 at 11:56 pm
  132. PokerFace
    November 13, 2009 at 11:56 pm

    If you ever wanted to have a preemie:

    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=9683526

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  133. Thousandaire
    November 13, 2009 at 11:58 pm

    I was thinking more Baby Ted Koppel.

    Fuck Uncanny Valley, that thing is Uncanny Grand Canyon.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  134. pants
    November 14, 2009 at 12:31 am

    Oh, god!

    The doll is pretty freakin creepy…

    But the whole thing about people acting like they’re real babies and taking them to the park and shit gives me serious chills. Ugh.

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  135. pants
    November 14, 2009 at 12:37 am
  136. DucksNew
    November 14, 2009 at 1:35 am

    Hey if any Stingray it may be time to take a breather from their boards. Otherwise there may be an influx of angry artisans on Regretsy looking for your head on a spit. It’d be better than your face on one of these dolls but still

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  137. DucksNew
    November 14, 2009 at 1:36 am

    Oh man my post got all fucked lmao…that;s what I get for having too many thoughts in the middle of the night and no sleep to help them form properly

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  138. moi
    November 14, 2009 at 4:31 am

    This wouldn’t be nearly as creepy without the hair! And why do reborn people always insist on making them all splotchy? yeah, some babies are, but not all of them, and that part of a new born is not cute! Nobody wants to remember how splotchy their precious newborn was, they want to remember how beautiful and perfect it was! Even if it wasn’t–they want to live in denial!

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  139. Danorz
    November 14, 2009 at 5:17 am

    In my opinion the baby looks more like William H. Macy

    William H. Baby?

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  140. Danorz
    November 14, 2009 at 5:20 am

    @#135:

    of all the adjectives one could pick to describe a newborn baby, why the hell would you settle for “squishy”?

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  141. priceless
    November 14, 2009 at 6:35 am

    Largely more sane ways to satisfy that biological ticking clock rather than carrying a lifeless soulless baby look-a-like:

    1. Do the dirty. Depending on the dude this can take less than 2 minutes and the whole process is pretty auto-pilot from then on. 9 months later, no need to fake it with creepy-assed dolls anymore!

    2. Adopt

    3. Become a foster parent

    4.Work in a place with babies, change some crap-filled diapers, remember the pros to a baby-less life and cure your neuroticism.

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  142. DucksNew
    November 14, 2009 at 7:07 am

    #139: you forgot
    5. Steal one

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  143. verybigjen
    November 14, 2009 at 7:16 am

    ahhhh!!!! this doll is eating my soul!!!

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  144. Stiflers Mom
    November 14, 2009 at 8:01 am

    If you wear a pacemaker, don’t try to breast feed this thing.

    PS Donald Trump called, he wants his hair back.

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  145. fancy spatula
    November 14, 2009 at 8:06 am

    #129- I’ve never heard of someone taking a Johnny Depp action figure out to a grocery store and passing him off as real. Or throwing it birthday parties. And I’m pretty sure an action figure isn’t weighted to give it that real Johnny Depp feel…

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  146. bloopoo
    November 14, 2009 at 8:20 am

    Oooo stop, fancy spatula! Yer gettin’ me all excited!

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  147. jojo
    November 14, 2009 at 9:11 am

    #114 coldsalt
    I thought the same thing. I wonder how many people who “like” children buy these. I feel ill.

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  148. MyEyesMyEyes
    November 14, 2009 at 9:12 am

    I’m glad my real baby wasn’t that ugly otherwise I would have been asking about the return policy!

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  149. Dear Tuffy
    November 14, 2009 at 9:46 am

    Oh yes, Helen, I got it immediately: Baby Caruso. The start of a whole line of CSI Babies. On another note, though, that doll is hideous.

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  150. nitebyrd
    November 14, 2009 at 9:50 am

    That is truly frightening. Good God!

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  151. everydaymama
    November 14, 2009 at 10:15 am

    You know, I have 3 kids and am PG with my 4th (due in May), and newborns are only cute to the parents! When I look back at the newborn pics of my kids, the ones that you snap as soon as they are born, I will totally admit they are not cute! Newborns are all wrinkly, have blotches, and are just odd looking. The time they look the best is about a week after birth! Then they are totally adorable!! But that first week… Only the parents think they are the best looking little angels ever ;)

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  152. fancy spatula
    November 14, 2009 at 10:23 am

    #151- And newborn feet look like alien feet, all weird and long…

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  153. Stingray Charles
    November 14, 2009 at 10:52 am
  154. thefrog
    November 14, 2009 at 11:11 am

    Where can I buy a realistic Johnny Depp action figure? I’d like some Johnny Depp action.

    My MIL gave my daughter a regular baby doll that was the stuff of nightmares. MIL thought it was adorable. My daughter ripped its hair off and named it “ugly doll.”

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  155. PokerFace
    November 14, 2009 at 11:15 am

    Its sad to say, but you could buy a real baby in China for the price of those dolls. If you really wanted one.

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  156. iamhydrogen14
    November 14, 2009 at 11:18 am

    @ #142 fancy spatula: “weighted to give it that real Johnny Depp Feel” – I almost wet my pants. I think I love you.

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  157. John Foley
    November 14, 2009 at 11:21 am

    Awww, he’s got his father’s philtrum!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  158. dangerousmezzo
    November 14, 2009 at 12:09 pm

    #82 Rob T Firefly :

    Good lord, David Caruso knocked up his RealDoll.

    #82 FTW

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  159. imwithya
    November 14, 2009 at 12:40 pm

    Hey, anyone notice that the many of the post numbers we have referred to in our comments are all screwed up? What happened?

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  160. crapgawker
    November 14, 2009 at 12:42 pm

    New avatar:

    http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=6347382&page=1

    Umm – not to knock you or anything, but it’s anything BUT whimsicle.

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  161. marimoy
    November 14, 2009 at 2:18 pm

    I’m with #147 on this… and I still stand by my previous comment on this post. Scary O_o.

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  162. icandyart
    November 14, 2009 at 2:37 pm

    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=24896592

    another piece for sale by this seller…. more like, i need to slap myself.

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  163. beqi
    November 14, 2009 at 2:59 pm

    Does this also come with an alcoholic teenage mom doll?

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  164. Lilith Blue
    November 14, 2009 at 8:46 pm

    But hey! It has ‘full limbs’! How can you resist a totally creepy doll with ‘full limbs’?

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  165. i am bean
    November 15, 2009 at 2:01 am

    you have to admit though…it’s rockin some bad ass hair plugs.

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  166. projectkennedy
    November 15, 2009 at 6:58 am

    #153 everydaymama :

    FINALLY I CAN STOP FEELING BAD ABOUT THINKING PEOPLE’S NEWBORNS ARE UGLY. Cause they really really are, and no they don’t look like you, unless you look like an alien or a strange old man.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  167. sicknessdoll
    November 15, 2009 at 9:17 am

    If I ever give birth to a child that looks like this doll, I might have to kill myself. I suddenly had the urge to vomit after looking at this aboniation. I may just have a nightmare tonight…

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  168. CateLawrence
    November 15, 2009 at 4:30 pm

    looks like it wasn’t ready to be popped out…jesus wept

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  169. Die Ana
    November 15, 2009 at 7:54 pm

    Something else from the Wiki article: “Women collect reborns as they would a non-reborn doll, or purchase them to fill a void of a lost child and treat reborns as living babies. Many reborn owners have gone through miscarriages, have no means for adoption, or suffer from empty nest syndrome”

    There are so many real children who need to be loved! Gosh, this is sad, very sad!

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  170. Die Ana
    November 15, 2009 at 7:58 pm

    At least with this one, you don’t have to worry about SIDS. I haven’t sleep in a year since my baby was born.

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  171. Kite
    November 15, 2009 at 9:11 pm

    #171 It’s really sad that caring for a child can be so difficult legally. Although fostering is an easier possibility, but doesn’t come with security.

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  172. priceless
    November 15, 2009 at 9:31 pm

    Kite there are many kids that are wards of the Children’s Aid that applications of adoption can be put forward for – they just most likely will not be infants. There’s a lot of volunteering one can do in just about any community to be around and supportive to children. Adoption and pregnancy are not the only ways. My last post on this was a bit more tongue in cheek but true!

    And Ducksnew, def like your finish with “steal one” lol badoom ssssshh!

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  173. PussDaddy
    November 16, 2009 at 2:15 am

    When this baby was born the doctor slapped it’s mother.

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  174. imwithya
    November 16, 2009 at 3:06 am

    Do you think this poor seller has noticed that “the thing” has received almost 6000 views?

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  175. justajezabel
    November 16, 2009 at 7:21 am

    I have never liked baby-dolls, not even as a child, and this is definately NOT an exception! I can’t imagine having this in a room with its creepy glass eyes following me everywhere… Argh! The nightmares I would have!

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  176. nikkig
    November 16, 2009 at 9:00 am

    Creepydolls- Yeah, some people probably do want to have these just as collectables, but I think the weird thing is that most of the collectors actually want to “mother” them due to some feeling of loss (whether of their own children growning up or of a baby who died, or of never being able to conceive). Personally, I think motherisng a doll is a terrible thing to do to yourself–I had a daughter who passed away as an infant and I am certain that becoming attached to something like this (well…

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  177. nikkig
    November 16, 2009 at 9:04 am

    …not THIS freaky one, persay, but one that looked real) would have been seriously damaging to my grief process. And I’m sure any therapist would be discouraging of these substitute babies. I mean, you’re giving love and affection to an inanimate object that will never give you anything back–how can that be good for anyone?

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  178. JustJon
    November 16, 2009 at 5:41 pm

    One big difference between this and David Caruso… this one is probably a better actor.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  179. cptfknvicious
    November 17, 2009 at 2:04 am

    if you were to taxidermy an infant it would probably come out something like this.

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  180. TomBee
    November 17, 2009 at 9:01 am

    This baby is exactly how I expected George Burns to look after reincarnation.

    http://waiteswebworld.com/oldsite/burns1c.jpg

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  181. enamy
    November 17, 2009 at 11:16 am

    i literally jumped when i scrolled down to this.

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  182. bellafelle
    November 19, 2009 at 3:13 pm

    OH GOD KILL IT BEFORE IT EATS US ALLLLLLLL

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  183. razberries
    November 30, 2009 at 10:54 pm

    ok, i admit i like to recycle my ‘what if they mated’ jokes to no end…but if david caruso humped a ‘real doll’ (www.realdoll.com) this would be the result… ;-)

    Thumb up Thumb down -2

  184. Kludge
    December 4, 2009 at 1:30 pm

    From the original artists website:

    “The process of reborning a doll is being able to create as realistic baby as possible.

    This is achieved by firstly buying or creating a baby corpse to make a doll mould from. It is then neccessary to begin peeling the skin off of the baby’s head, body and limbs through a variety of different techniques to give the doll a very realistic human skin effect. ”

    OK, I may have made a few slight modifications to the text…

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

  185. frootloop
    December 28, 2009 at 4:58 pm

    what?!?!? i gotta buy sunglasses 4 it 2???

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  186. Rhea Monster
    October 21, 2010 at 10:04 pm

    Wait… Does anyone remember the show Lexx? Doesn’t it look just like Stanley the security gaurd?!

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  187. goober
    February 8, 2011 at 9:51 pm

    You’re Fired!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  188. onotoman
    August 2, 2011 at 7:56 pm

    Oops at first glance he does look real. I am sure the young mums to be, I mean real young mums, would find this doll and delight to hold and play with.

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  189. Lolsy
    August 9, 2012 at 12:21 pm

    …Bruce Jenner?

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  190. fairyfaye06
    December 21, 2012 at 11:46 am

    This doll looks more like a pensioner than a baby!

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