Lawn Order

Posted by Helen Killer 77 comments

Oh, these look durable. Practically heirloom quality. You could pass these on to your daughter, and years from now, she could wear them on her wedding day. You know, if she had Claritin.

Filed in Jewelry 77 comments
77 Comments
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Nov 12, 2009
8:50 am
#1 Me :

W.T.F.

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Nov 12, 2009
8:51 am
#2 VoteAudrey :

Someone smoked some grass when they made this.

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Nov 12, 2009
8:53 am
#3 justajezabel :

Makes me itchy and sneezy just looking at them! I can’t imagine those brushing up against my neck all day, urgh!

On a different note, if you’re going to wear jewelry made of grass, shouldn’t you at least be able to smoke it in a pinch?

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Nov 12, 2009
8:54 am
#4 fancy spatula :

Hives are sexy. Who doesn’t want to share in multi-generational puffiness?

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Nov 12, 2009
8:57 am
#5 Anastasia :

I can’t wait for people to make used toilet paper into purses. Has anyone crafted landscape portraits with used tampons and pads? I think those would be priced at $300.

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Nov 12, 2009
8:58 am
#6 kurlygurl722 :

@3 justajezabel – lol I can imagine someone walking around with reefer earrings.. I can think of a multitude of reasons he/she wouldn’t have them for too long..

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Nov 12, 2009
9:00 am
#7 vangoghbabe :

Please pass the olive oil….

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Nov 12, 2009
9:01 am
#8 justajezabel :

@6 kurlygurl722

yeah and that’s the beauty of it, at least they have a purpose! Not to mention, totally “green” and “upcycled” or whatever the f*ck people would call that

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Nov 12, 2009
9:02 am
#9 vangoghbabe :

seriously, I’m going to lunch

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Nov 12, 2009
9:09 am
#10 Stingray Charles :

If you put these in your pocket for a week, you’d have enough compost for your house plants.

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Nov 12, 2009
9:11 am
#11 pauldodo :

Adds a new dimension to the phrase- ‘You look like you were dragged through a hedge backwards.’

Can I get them in wheat or barley?

p
x

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Nov 12, 2009
9:17 am
#12 Terrible Muriel :

They made the earring from real grass but used imitation amber beads? So they’re grass with a bit of plastic attached.

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Nov 12, 2009
9:24 am
#13 sar-sar :

$14.60 for something I could pull out of my backyard? That’s almost as bad as putting moss + pebbles in a jar & calling it a terrarium… oh wait, it is just as bad.

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Nov 12, 2009
9:32 am
#14 Calophi :

“Imitated amber stones”? Try YELLOW BEADS. Those don’t look a THINK like amber!

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Nov 12, 2009
9:33 am
#15 everydaymama :

Just what I wanted, someones lawn clippings on my ears!

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Nov 12, 2009
9:33 am
#16 Calophi :

Or a THING, either. -_-

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Nov 12, 2009
9:33 am
#17 jeffreyrcarey :

Is it organic grass and straw? Guaranteed weed-free? Makes for an interesting show when the seeds start falling down the wearer’s blouse/dress. When they turn brown, I don’t recommend getting too close to open flames.

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Nov 12, 2009
9:36 am
#18 everydaymama :

And she needs a warning: Don’t go to a farm wearing these or you’ll be chased by hungry cows!!

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Nov 12, 2009
9:37 am
#19 Helen Killer :

@ #12 “So they’re grass with a bit of plastic attached.”

That sounds like something I pulled out of my dog’s ass.

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Nov 12, 2009
9:42 am
#20 Terrible Muriel :

@ #19 True. But you didn’t list it on Etsy for $14.

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Nov 12, 2009
9:50 am
#21 krudd :

By “waxen cotton thread” she means dental floss.

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Nov 12, 2009
9:54 am
#22 pauldodo :

What, no ‘grass’ sanitary towel?

Imagine the itching….

p
x

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Nov 12, 2009
9:54 am
#23 Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell :

#20; $14.60. .60. .60? How? What? Of all the incomprehensible pricing I’ve seen this one stopped me cold. If she made them in oregano or thyme I cold see them being useful in a pinch (“this soup’s a little bland”), but wheat and grass? .60? I don’t feel so good.

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Nov 12, 2009
9:55 am
#24 Minime :

I wonder how long they stay green? If I buy them, I don’t want them going brown in a week or two.

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Nov 12, 2009
10:00 am
#25 sar-sar :

I suppose, to be fair as it pertains to wacky pricing: the item is located in LATVIA.

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Nov 12, 2009
10:00 am
#26 vangoghbabe :

Okay, $14.60 for the earrings, check
barley and malt…..check check
recycled beer bottle…check x12
home brewing still…

be back later

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Nov 12, 2009
10:00 am
#27 Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell :

#20 I keep forgetting to check where the item ships from, so never-mind me.

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Nov 12, 2009
10:01 am
#28 Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell :

#24 thank you.

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Nov 12, 2009
10:03 am
#29 Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell :

OOPS
#25 Thank you

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Nov 12, 2009
10:04 am
#30 VoteAudrey :

Wait, now that I know we’re shipping horticulture from Europe, I may recant.

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Nov 12, 2009
10:27 am
#31 Stingray Charles :

I like these but I’d better pass, we’re in the midst of a severe drought in southern CA, and we’re only allowed to water our jewelry once a week.

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Nov 12, 2009
10:31 am
#32 vangoghbabe :

Weed Eater…..check

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Nov 12, 2009
10:33 am
#33 Laurinha :

And WHY is she wearing them?

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Nov 12, 2009
10:34 am
#34 vangoghbabe :

the Native Americans use sage to ward of evil and such…just a thought

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Nov 12, 2009
10:35 am
#35 Efit :

These stupid earrings don’t deserve puns or snide comments. THEY ARE STUPID

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Nov 12, 2009
10:37 am
#36 vangoghbabe :

I bet Mother Earth likes them…don’t be a hater

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Nov 12, 2009
10:37 am
#37 The Runaway Lawyer :

Is “waxed cotton thread” the whimsicle term for “dental floss?”

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Nov 12, 2009
10:42 am
#38 vangoghbabe :

#37 oh yeah, use it to remove the grass from your teeth after chewing your jewelry.

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Nov 12, 2009
10:44 am
#39 Stingray Charles :
On second thought, I should order these for my wife, imitated amber is her birth stone.

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Nov 12, 2009
10:44 am
#40 vangoghbabe :

I’m going to have to put it on the “table”…
anyone else notice the blackhead on her cheek?
Really bothering me…just sayin’

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Nov 12, 2009
10:46 am
#41 worldfamousfudgy :

This opens up a whole new venue for obtaining supplies– the yard.

Why pay outrageous prices for materials when you can just stumble out the door and snatch some of Mother Earth’s free goodness?

Since we have no grass here, would anyone like me to make them a set of prickly pear earrings? Maybe a can cozy?

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Nov 12, 2009
10:53 am
#42 sbarnes2 :

Have they always been featured on her page, or was that a post-regretsy change?

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Nov 12, 2009
10:54 am
#43 Stingray Charles :

#35 Efit: Sounds like you need a hug.

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Nov 12, 2009
11:04 am
#44 Stingray Charles :

#40 VGB: I thought it was an allergic reaction to wearing green waste as jewelry.

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Nov 12, 2009
11:41 am
#45 The Blue Kraken :

ok so she’s bundled up the flowering heads of rye grass and made earrings with string…….. -__- *sigh*

not to mention i guess she didn’t look at things you are banned from shipping past your borders.

it is illegal to ship anything internationally that may contain seeds, dairy, or egg. lets not go into all the OTHER banned goods but this would fit into banned goods. and she offers shipping everywhere.. dumb!

the yellow beads look like Nerds candy.

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Nov 12, 2009
11:42 am
#46 leslee :

Can you imagine trying to pull this out of your hair about five minutes after you put them on.

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Nov 12, 2009
11:45 am
#47 Avivafae :

Makes a good snack for a vegan.. then they can floss with the waxed string afterwards.

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Nov 12, 2009
12:10 pm
#48 Efit :

@#43 Stingray Charles – C’mere then, give us a hug. But these earrings ARE STILL STUPID and make my PMS look like kittens and rainbows.

what?

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Nov 12, 2009
12:16 pm
#49 Stingray Charles :

#48: Sending you hugs and chocolates.

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Nov 12, 2009
12:24 pm
#50 leslee :

Better send the hugs to Bella in agony. She REALLY needs them.

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Nov 12, 2009
12:29 pm
#51 vangoghbabe :

so does Urban Legend…if you dare to get that close

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Nov 12, 2009
12:40 pm
#52 Stingray Charles :

Ah WTF, I’ll hug anything.

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Nov 12, 2009
12:47 pm
#53 vangoghbabe :

I tried it…if I stay perfectly still..I can imitate stone

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Nov 12, 2009
2:03 pm
#54 i am bean :

hippies, hippies…everywhere!

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Nov 12, 2009
2:51 pm
#55 needle girl :

These little beauties are featured in the “Gag Gifts” Etsy Gift Guide. http://www.etsy.com/gift-guides/gag-gifts/262?page=2 Maybe gag wasn’t meant to mean joke?

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Nov 12, 2009
3:21 pm
#56 ihatecowls :

SAT WHAT????

They would last a week!!!! My god, someones been at the bong again.

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Nov 12, 2009
3:30 pm
#57 gingerblue :

Gross- why do all these jewelry sellers insist on wearing the earrings in the photos? It’s like having toe jam on a toe-ring or something.

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Nov 12, 2009
3:56 pm
#58 Kathleen :

Maybe she could put some type of sealant on them to preserve them? Otherwise, yeah, this is over $14 for earrings you may get to wear once, if that.

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Nov 12, 2009
5:08 pm
#59 tinybubbles :

I favorited them…hahaha I have a weak spot for plant earrings!

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Nov 12, 2009
5:09 pm
#60 Monstrosa :

Impractical, unimportable and what’s with the unfinished look at the top? Didn’t she catch the Virtual Lab on weed binding?

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Nov 12, 2009
5:52 pm
#61 crapgawker :

Oooooh noooooo – is that grass sprayed with that stuff you put on dead lawns to make it look like it’s not dead?

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Nov 12, 2009
6:54 pm
#62 Lexiii :

Goes well with this pair.

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=33532268&ref=fp_feat_4

Featured on the front page, no less. That’s where all the shit lands.

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Nov 12, 2009
6:58 pm
#63 MyEyesMyEyes :

Now why did I let my husband throw out that bag of lawn clippings? I wouldn’t even need the imitated amber beads because I would have real, brown colored, dried up, dog poop that I could use instead.

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Nov 12, 2009
7:15 pm
#64 VoteAudrey :

#45 The Blue Kraken, okay, yeah I thought there may be some sort of, I dunno, regulations on shipping plant life. And now that #55 needle girl has alerted me that these are on one of the coveted “gift guides,” I’m going to go be sick. Is there anyone else who would like to start a legit handmade/artisan goods site? Title it YouBetsy?

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Nov 12, 2009
7:35 pm
#65 hmmmm :

#62 – lol! Now that would really be upcycled, re-purposed, organic! Who needs to throw away dog poopie when it can be used to create grass jewelry. :)

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Nov 12, 2009
9:25 pm
#66 pleasedontpickme :

@#62 Lexiii “Featured on the front page, no less. That’s where all the shit lands.”

Seriously!!!

Why oh why do people wear earrings and hair clips in their photos..it’s gross and I’d never buy anything that is worn and can pass as unsanitary by the board of health! Didn’t anyone learn in grammar school don’t ever share combs/brushes/hats…Lice people…lice!

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Nov 12, 2009
11:56 pm
#67 HypoxicHippo :

The reason that they do this is for display purposes – most of the people who have items like this will make ‘another’ one for the customer the one they wear is their display model.

There’s also the ability of the designer to change out the earwires to a new set for the customer or to use an ultrasonic cleaner or even a rubbing alcohol pad to clean the ear wire germ free

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Nov 13, 2009
1:52 am
#68 knoxblox :

I should make and sell some mud pie hats to sell with the grass earrings and moose dung necklaces. Forty bucks a pop.

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Nov 13, 2009
6:31 am
#69 YippySkippy :

The earrings obviously suck but I’m even more repulsed by her camel toe earlobe.

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Nov 13, 2009
6:40 am
#70 pleasedontpickme :

@#67 HypoxicHippo – I completely understand that, but at least make mention that this is for display purposes and you will be getting a new, unworn pair; or make note that “your earrings will have new ear wires.”

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Nov 13, 2009
4:56 pm
#71 dangerousmezzo :

No. Way.

I also love the excruciatingly precise pricing of this, #23.

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Nov 14, 2009
3:08 pm
#72 beqi :

And when you’re done wearing them, you can crumble them into your one-hitter.

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Nov 15, 2009
9:21 am
#73 sicknessdoll :

Caution: Do not wear around barnyard animals, they may gnaw off your ear.

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Nov 27, 2009
10:07 pm
#74 Recovering Crack Baby :

Now I know how they smuggle all that shit over the border. Anyone coming my way from the West Coast- I can hook you up with all the beads you need to make these- Bah hahahahahaaaaaaaa.

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Dec 4, 2009
1:39 pm
#75 Kludge :

Fleas not included.

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Dec 9, 2009
2:31 pm
#76 fluffysue :

Ch-ch-ch-Chia!!!

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Dec 10, 2009
6:25 am
#77 HermesGoddess :

Hm. Those log ones
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=33532268&ref=fp_feat_4 are actually pretty cute.
Wait a minute.
FUCK. What has happened to me??! Apparently my constant viewing of the detritus of Etsy has caused my sensibilities to be deadened to the point where a hunk of plain old wood suspended from a piece of wire is now “pretty cute”.
Someone slap me.

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