95

Character Assassination

Unless by “attention to detail” you mean spelling.

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95 comments on Character Assassination

  1. Ghost Righter
    November 12, 2009 at 2:55 pm

    So make sure you have your ability papers in order!!!

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  2. greenfuzz
    November 12, 2009 at 2:57 pm

    What exactly are “pretty fibers”. Also this looks like it’s made with glitter glue and paper and plastic crap. Why spend $8 on that?

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  3. wait what
    November 12, 2009 at 2:58 pm

    ThOuGhT pRoVokIng fOR sUrE

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  4. tennessee
    November 12, 2009 at 2:59 pm

    Charter? Like the cable company? You have to have them to stay at the top?

    *confused*

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  5. comma_splicer
    November 12, 2009 at 3:00 pm

    Whimsicle. Tagged as such, even.

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  6. Stingray Charles
    November 12, 2009 at 3:00 pm

    wHaT tHe fUcKinG FuCk dOes tHat MeAn?

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  7. everydaymama
    November 12, 2009 at 3:02 pm

    Charter?? As in charter a boat? Where are we going?

    And if this is her “attention to detail” I am a-feared!

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  8. aorta
    November 12, 2009 at 3:02 pm

    whatever bus she charters, i hope it stops in proof-readingville.

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  9. IluvregretsyIwouldmarryit
    November 12, 2009 at 3:03 pm

    Maybe she means “charter schools” and didn’t have room for the extra word? ExCEllenT.

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  10. knitwithknives
    November 12, 2009 at 3:03 pm

    i don’t get it

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  11. sallymac79
    November 12, 2009 at 3:03 pm

    “pretty fibers” worries me… :/

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  12. Fae
    November 12, 2009 at 3:04 pm

    Duh, I mean.. she did tag it whimsicle. ;)

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  13. everydaymama
    November 12, 2009 at 3:04 pm

    OH MY, am seriously laughing my ass off!! Direct from her store description:

    “Please do look around at my whimsicle treasure trove of goodies that I hope will make you feel inspired and uplifted!”

    It’s WHIMSICLE!!

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  14. moi
    November 12, 2009 at 3:10 pm

    ThIs GiVeS mE a HeAdAcHe!1!1!1!

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  15. sorgenette
    November 12, 2009 at 3:11 pm

    Let’s be fair. She obviously ran out of room and sacrificed some letters to keep her couplet a couplet. I mean, who gets inspired by three lines of prose? By the end of the second line, most people have lost interest. I’m sure most of you stopped reading THIS a couple lines back…

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  16. everydaymama
    November 12, 2009 at 3:13 pm

    I have the attention span of a gnat!

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  17. hammerhead77
    November 12, 2009 at 3:17 pm

    $8.00 RiGhT nOw aNd ThE cRoWNed kiD LiVEs!! pOsT bOX oUtSiDe rOYaL yaRNs. cOmE aLonE. dO NoT caLL tHE pOliCE.

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  18. sKate
    November 12, 2009 at 3:18 pm

    I had to Google it to figure out what the hell this was supposed to say. Charter = character. Mmmkay.

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  19. sKate
    November 12, 2009 at 3:20 pm

    Or I guess I could have looked at the Regretsy title. Doh! ;)

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  20. John Foley
    November 12, 2009 at 3:20 pm

    Charter….schools?

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  21. Efit
    November 12, 2009 at 3:20 pm

    Im aLl fOr BrEvItY iN NaRrAtiVe, BuT – oh fuckit -

    I’m all for brevity in narrative, but this is just short bus retarded. Since when is it considered “professionally handmade from top quality crafting materials” when you raid the mums + bridal crap aisle at Michaels?

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  22. ihatecowls
    November 12, 2009 at 3:26 pm

    I dArE SoMeoNE To MaKE a tHrEaD iN tHE EtSy FoRuMs TeLLiNg Pe oh fuck it thats taking to long….

    I dare someone to make a thread in the forums telling people HOW TO SPELL WHIMSICAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  23. ihatecowls
    November 12, 2009 at 3:26 pm

    LOL#21 I didnt even read that!! lol same as me!!!

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  24. pottery123
    November 12, 2009 at 3:27 pm

    “with lace, princess crown, glitter and attractive chain, the poignant wording offers strength if needed” I DO, I DO….I really need it NoW!!!!

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  25. Kathleen
    November 12, 2009 at 3:31 pm

    A charter jet will take you to the top, but will only stay there until the fuel runs out.

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  26. Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell
    November 12, 2009 at 3:33 pm

    She spelled charter right, it’s Abilify she got wrong.

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  27. Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell
    November 12, 2009 at 3:34 pm

    #16 everdaymama you are so

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  28. Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell
    November 12, 2009 at 3:34 pm

    SQUIRREL!

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  29. Kathleen
    November 12, 2009 at 3:36 pm

    I wonder if “pretty fibers” are anything like the bean threads I’m eating right now. They are somewhat pretty when they are cooked and turn clear.

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  30. Kathleen
    November 12, 2009 at 3:37 pm

    #26 kamikaze, I might need some Abilify after looking at a few more of these.

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  31. martini
    November 12, 2009 at 3:38 pm

    I hate squirrels!!!

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  32. martini
    November 12, 2009 at 3:42 pm

    Oh, and why does that little boy with the bowl cut have a crown glued to his head?

    Just askin…

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  33. worldfamousfudgy
    November 12, 2009 at 3:42 pm

    ~~~WhiMSiCle~~~ and thought provoking… though I always thought you need BOTH charter and abilify

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  34. Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell
    November 12, 2009 at 3:46 pm

    #32 martini: from the seller’s page: “Folk ask where I find my cheeky little fairies”; now I could elaborate, but I’m trying no to work blue anymore.

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  35. Stingray Charles
    November 12, 2009 at 3:47 pm

    #22: done

    http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=6346435

    (you may have to register on Etsy to view this)

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  36. Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell
    November 12, 2009 at 3:51 pm

    #35 Stingray Charles, nope, it let me look without registering. Please don’t panic, but I love you a little bit.

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  37. Stingray Charles
    November 12, 2009 at 3:55 pm

    #36: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (me panicking)

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  38. Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell
    November 12, 2009 at 4:05 pm

    #37 Stingray Charles: one word….ABILIFY!

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  39. everydaymama
    November 12, 2009 at 4:08 pm

    Big XoXo’s to Stingray Charles!!

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  40. jeffreyrcarey
    November 12, 2009 at 4:11 pm

    Funny, all of you. I’m LMAO!

    What’s with the mixed caps? What’s with the background wallpaper. What’s with

    Look a bunny!

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  41. Stingray Charles
    November 12, 2009 at 4:12 pm

    You like me, you really like me!

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  42. jeffreyrcarey
    November 12, 2009 at 4:13 pm

    “short bus retarded”. Hysterical. And, my gawd, wrapped in “pretty fibers”. Like fiberglass?!

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  43. everydaymama
    November 12, 2009 at 4:17 pm

    Every fiber of my being is twitching.

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  44. Bobbi
    November 12, 2009 at 4:30 pm

    ROFL – She might have spelled everything correctly. Ability and Charter are both mental health support agencies. Ability teaches skills to the mentally disabled, so they can get new jobs. And Charter is a mental health clinic for serious mental issues.:) Could be expressing something very near and dear to her heart?

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  45. jojo
    November 12, 2009 at 4:31 pm
  46. Helen Killer
    November 12, 2009 at 4:38 pm

    That looks like someone puked up Froot Loops.

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  47. everydaymama
    November 12, 2009 at 4:49 pm

    Ya Helen… My cat!

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  48. Jea
    November 12, 2009 at 4:54 pm

    Dear god I read it as ‘character’ and didn’t think twice. Then I was all ‘wtf are these people talking about?’

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  49. SarcasmQueen
    November 12, 2009 at 5:11 pm

    Jesus. What else is there to say.

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  50. NinianLif
    November 12, 2009 at 5:15 pm

    ROFL!! Brilliant “attention to detail”

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  51. The Runaway Lawyer
    November 12, 2009 at 5:22 pm

    My kid brought one of these home from Pre-K last week. Except his was spelled correctly.

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  52. Efit
    November 12, 2009 at 5:37 pm

    Double LOL to you ihatecowls! Lovely! ;)

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  53. Efit
    November 12, 2009 at 5:41 pm

    #34 Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell

    I used the phrase working blue *just today*. I hardly ever use it. This thread is riddled with strange and wHIimSiCLe coincidences.

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  54. NinjaGato
    November 12, 2009 at 5:42 pm

    “time and attention to detail”
    yep looks like a whole lotta time went into that gem.

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  55. crapgawker
    November 12, 2009 at 5:48 pm

    hA Ha – EverOnE KnoWs iTS suPposeD tO bE “CheEKy LitTlE faEriEs”!

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  56. vangoghbabe
    November 12, 2009 at 5:58 pm

    Who’s she kidding? She bought the porcelain dildos and reused the flowers and beads.

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  57. crapgawker
    November 12, 2009 at 5:59 pm

    @56 vangoghbabe – Yes! I THOUGHT I recognized those flowers……

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  58. Frankenkitty
    November 12, 2009 at 6:04 pm

    SaY WhAt?

    That’s a shame. I thought it had some meaning I wasn’t aware of. I hope someone lets her know.

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  59. sar-sar
    November 12, 2009 at 6:16 pm

    Ugh, and instead of putting it in housewares, they decided this was “art”…

    This is probably one of those people who goes to the forums bitching about how they’d like to have alternate characters in their item titles… because this would have 20 hearts all over it in a heartbeat.

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  60. pug off
    November 12, 2009 at 6:25 pm

    Is that a 3 hour charter spelling bee cruise tour?

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  61. AwwwwwwwSnap
    November 12, 2009 at 6:32 pm

    This is almost as romanticle as it is whimsicle.

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  62. VoteAudrey
    November 12, 2009 at 7:06 pm

    WHIMSICLES
    (noun) Testicles which may possess capricious or erratic behavior.

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  63. everydaymama
    November 12, 2009 at 7:10 pm

    Awww, Stingray got his thread closed on Etsy ;P Calling out?? I thought we were helping people learn to spell, LOL!!

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  64. everydaymama
    November 12, 2009 at 7:11 pm

    #62, LMAO!!!!!

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  65. Efit
    November 12, 2009 at 7:46 pm

    Hey Etsy admin re. thread closing down:

    Is it really “calling out” when a person doesn’t actually (oh I dunno) CALL SOMEONE OUT?

    Jussayin’. I don’t see anyone in particular being called out. So…?

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  66. hmmmm
    November 12, 2009 at 7:49 pm

    #62 – lol!
    Why do people use upper and lower case letters like that? It is so juvenile!

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  67. Helen Killer
    November 12, 2009 at 7:52 pm

    Can we get a link to the closed thread for the lulz?

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  68. Stingray Charles
    November 12, 2009 at 7:56 pm
  69. Helen Killer
    November 12, 2009 at 8:11 pm

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  70. wildcrafter
    November 12, 2009 at 8:32 pm

    I was thinking of Charter as in the erstwhile, late 1990s inpatient mental health facilities. You remember the commercials: “If you don’t get help at Charter, please, get help somewhere!”

    Also, in the artist’s universe, “top-quality materials” seems to be a cipher for the sludge that’s been kicked under the shelves on the Wal*Mart clearance aisle.

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  71. ArtHarpy
    November 12, 2009 at 9:17 pm

    Oh Stingray…How dare you “call out” One Hundred and Eight Etsy sellers all at once. You BRUTE!

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  72. personalearthquake
    November 12, 2009 at 10:02 pm

    YES! Say What! guy STRIKES AGAIN! ….I kind of want a whimsicle now though….a grape one.

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  73. jeepers.O.My.peepers
    November 12, 2009 at 10:07 pm

    Being Canadian, I thought she was making some kind of comment relating to the Charter of Rights and Freedoms. So I read ‘charter’ not character and thought it was some kind of comment about equality.

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  74. everydaymama
    November 12, 2009 at 10:27 pm

    I don’t get Etsy, if these “sellers” can’t spell they probably can’t read what was written anyhow!

    (Hands #72 a grape whimsicle with some wah-la’s on top)

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  75. Street Corner Hooker
    November 12, 2009 at 11:03 pm

    …There are one hundred nine results on Etsy when you search for “whimsicle.” D:

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  76. Street Corner Hooker
    November 12, 2009 at 11:06 pm
  77. NinjaGato
    November 12, 2009 at 11:34 pm

    76- Didn’t I see those little darlings in The Shining?

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  78. addiosix
    November 13, 2009 at 1:25 am

    I effing hate Charter. When I get to the top, I’m switching to Time-Warner or some other cable company that doesn’t suck ass.

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  79. Terrible Muriel
    November 13, 2009 at 5:26 am

    @ #70 I was thinking of Charter as in the erstwhile, late 1990s inpatient mental health facilities. You remember the commercials: “If you don’t get help at Charter, please, get help somewhere!”

    OMG! I’d totally forgotten about those commercials. Maybe it was intentional. She should update her description and explain that it’s really correct like the “going rouge” seller did.

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  80. heidrun
    November 13, 2009 at 7:33 am

    @ 62: LOL! although i also like the definition in the deer hoof thread. maybe a combination of the two? (ugh)

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  81. klair
    November 13, 2009 at 8:41 am

    I was thinking charter as in Old Charter, my favorite bourbon.

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  82. vangoghbabe
    November 13, 2009 at 8:54 am
  83. hammerhead77
    November 13, 2009 at 8:56 am

    #62 VoteAudrey “WHIMSICLES
    (noun) Testicles which may possess capricious or erratic behavior.”

    Would these qualify as whimsicles? ;) :

    NSFW: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=29056525

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  84. Stingray Charles
    November 13, 2009 at 9:01 am

    #83: That looks like Babar.

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  85. martini
    November 13, 2009 at 9:41 am

    #34 Does this mean your changing your name to Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Heck?

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  86. kurlygurl722
    November 13, 2009 at 9:46 am

    Charter sucks… AT&T Uverse will keep me at the top.. I just don’t see how I could incorporate that into an ugly piece of crap with “pretty fibers” on it..

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  87. Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell
    November 13, 2009 at 9:51 am

    #53 efit & #85 martini:
    For better or worse, I’ve re-entered my blue period. Maybe I’ll change my name to Pisscaso.

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  88. i am bean
    November 13, 2009 at 1:15 pm

    cRaP…shIfT KeY nOT wOrkinG AgAIn…BoLLockS!

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  89. dangerousmezzo
    November 13, 2009 at 4:49 pm

    I do not believe that Etsy locked that thread — that in itself is fucking hilarious :)

    Calling out, my ass. Quick, protect all the people who can’t spell!

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  90. ozymandias
    November 13, 2009 at 6:07 pm

    The Golden Rule of Proofreading: Check to see if you any words out.

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  91. priceless
    November 14, 2009 at 6:42 am

    Kudos HK for actually FIGURING OUT that butchering was actually the word “character”. It took me a while to figure it out! lol

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  92. Street Corner Hooker
    November 14, 2009 at 9:37 am

    #90 – She accidentally the word “character”?

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  93. AdornMeJewelry
    November 15, 2009 at 1:16 am

    I’m guessing it refers to the cable company. Right? I mean, that’s what it has to mean, no? :)

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  94. Kludge
    December 4, 2009 at 1:38 pm

    Qualtiy is job one!

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  95. Galadriel
    February 16, 2010 at 2:53 pm

    I also immediately thought of the mental institution. The commercials went, “You can. Charter can help.” or something of that nature.

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