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Chicken Shit

I didn’t know Kim Kardashian had an Etsy store!

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85 comments on Chicken Shit

  1. rinthered
    November 11, 2009 at 11:21 am

    I am so angry that the spacing is off. That cock is too big… (uh huh huh) and it’s throwing off the whole small “i” thing.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  2. enamy
    November 11, 2009 at 11:23 am

    i’m just trying to figure out where to carry that bag. work? wedding? church? on a date?

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  3. rinthered
    November 11, 2009 at 11:23 am

    oh def. church

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  4. Such is the Craft Ninja
    November 11, 2009 at 11:24 am

    It’s Whimsical…for porn stars.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  5. everydaymama
    November 11, 2009 at 11:26 am

    Nothing says classy and “whimsicle” more than a giant “cock” on an old handbag!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  6. pauldodo
    November 11, 2009 at 11:27 am

    Helen: you pioneered the ‘view in a room’ linky. Could we have the same for items as ‘unique’ as this?
    I see the handbag in a period set, maybe a few grannies having tea, the handbag displayed prominently on the table amongst the cakes and tea…..

    Just a thort

    p
    x

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  7. Sammy the Goose
    November 11, 2009 at 11:28 am

    I can’t wait to see my dear old mom’s face light up with joy when she opens this Christmas morning.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  8. Fae
    November 11, 2009 at 11:28 am

    Oh, the wonder of the “i love cock” purse. I have no idea where you’d carry this bag. Perhaps a barn raising. You might even get some action.

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  9. martini
    November 11, 2009 at 11:28 am

    Is that a purse or a carrying case?

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  10. pauldodo
    November 11, 2009 at 11:28 am

    #5 everydaymama- you rock!! :)

    p
    x

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  11. groove is in da heart
    November 11, 2009 at 11:30 am

    What I like best about it is the subtlety.

    Cocklover, please look up “kerning” in the dickshunary.

    Oooops, I said dick. I really didn’t mean to.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  12. turtlegirl76
    November 11, 2009 at 11:34 am

    From the description…
    “For a little lagniappe, when you purchase this purse, if you tell me in the notes to seller why this was something you absolutely must have, then I’ll throw in a sweet pair of handmade, badass earrings I made. Think: guns and beer.”

    Good Lord there’s earrings to go with it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  13. rinthered
    November 11, 2009 at 11:35 am

    I just want to say that if the spacing didn’t make me all twitchy, i’d buy this. for the whim-sey.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  14. vangoghbabe
    November 11, 2009 at 11:39 am

    Okay, I’m thinking guns and beer………..
    nope, still not buying the purse

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  15. vangoghbabe
    November 11, 2009 at 11:40 am

    besides, I want a matching cock belt…….

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  16. Efit
    November 11, 2009 at 11:47 am

    I really ought to get my mind into the gutter. When I first say it I thought: “I love chicken” and then thought: “Mmmm, Chick-fil-A.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  17. Efit
    November 11, 2009 at 11:48 am

    *saw*

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  18. silverphase
    November 11, 2009 at 11:50 am

    maybe the “I heart red underpants” bag is more your style.. http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=8943710... oh it’s not pants, it’s steak.. my mistake…

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  19. badcrafter
    November 11, 2009 at 11:52 am

    My mom’s been asking me what I want for Christmas. Now I know.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  20. vangoghbabe
    November 11, 2009 at 11:54 am

    Random thought….if an old lady buys this purse. Gets mugged. And beats the thief over the head with said purse, can he tell the police she beat him with her cock???

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  21. justajezabel
    November 11, 2009 at 11:58 am

    I just want to know, what’s with the subtlety of this item? We’ve seen vaginas on just about everything there is to own, why not an actual cock if you really want to proclaim your love? Let’s see some matching cock earrings to go along with it. Maybe a water bottle cozie to match.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  22. vangoghbabe
    November 11, 2009 at 12:02 pm

    #20 you ear the custom vagina earrings…..geez, have you no fashion sense??

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  23. Orlana
    November 11, 2009 at 12:04 pm

    Old meme is old. I live in Columbia, SC and the city is littered with people proudly displaying their love of cocks (USC Gamecocks, that is). T-shirts, purses, earrings, license plates, bumper stickers….Every college girl in this city owns a plan black t-shirt with the word “COCK” written on it.

    This purse is just lame.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  24. Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell
    November 11, 2009 at 12:05 pm

    I think I have the right dress, I just can’t match the shoes.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  25. Stingray Charles
    November 11, 2009 at 12:07 pm

    My birthday’s coming up, can I get an “I Heart Pussy” wallet?

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  26. worldfamousfudgy
    November 11, 2009 at 12:09 pm

    There are some seriously diverse items in her shop! You have the UBER hipster zipper-sculpture items… and then an assortment of earrings made with tacky charms… and the “message” purses.

    20 years ago, I may have been purse-suaded to buy the cock-bag just on principle, but i think for me, the ugliness of the purse itself is a dissuader. I do, however, like guns, meat, and folks who admit to liking guns and meat.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  27. Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell
    November 11, 2009 at 12:11 pm

    Oh, and the first person singular is “I” not “i”.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  28. Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell
    November 11, 2009 at 12:17 pm

    HOLY CRAP! I just realized she copied the “cock” from the mass produced Italian “folk art” water pitcher my friend picked up at the airport in Rome and burdened, um, graced me with on his return. I’m painting on an “i heart” as we speak.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  29. Buffyesprite
    November 11, 2009 at 12:18 pm

    #25, you don’t have to wait too long, she states at the bottom of the description that she’s already planning to do an “I heart Pussy” bag. Better put your dibs on it.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  30. Stingray Charles
    November 11, 2009 at 12:25 pm

    #20 VGB: LOL “That old broad had a huge cock and she knew how to use it! I think I lost a tooth!”

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  31. vangoghbabe
    November 11, 2009 at 12:28 pm

    Old lady then goes home and explains to husband….”I just beat a man with my cock”….
    Old man, “That’s okay, I left my pussy in the booth at the cafe.”

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  32. Lexiii
    November 11, 2009 at 12:34 pm

    This matches my new Granny Montany ensemble.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  33. Stingray Charles
    November 11, 2009 at 12:36 pm

    #30 Lexiii: wah-lah!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  34. NinjaGato
    November 11, 2009 at 12:39 pm

    OMG the comments kill me!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  35. vangoghbabe
    November 11, 2009 at 12:39 pm

    At lease you are trying to coordinate Lexiii

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  36. The Mayor of Bethville
    November 11, 2009 at 12:44 pm

    Finally! A purse for me.
    –Colonel Sanders

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  37. addiosix
    November 11, 2009 at 12:53 pm

    #20 omg I came so close to snorting a drink of water out of my nose. Crisis averted and such, but still ohsoveryveryclose

    (I think you might have totally just made me choke on cock)

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  38. vangoghbabe
    November 11, 2009 at 12:53 pm

    #35 Thank God I re-read that… I thought you wrote Colon Sanders

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  39. Stingray Charles
    November 11, 2009 at 1:01 pm

    #36 VGB: That’s funny, Colon Sanders is my nickname for bran flakes.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  40. vangoghbabe
    November 11, 2009 at 1:03 pm

    I like bran flakes

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  41. addiosix
    November 11, 2009 at 1:04 pm

    Do you guys remember the ‘Lost Souls Room’ in Beetlejuice? The one where there was the doorway and there were the crazyass super-dead dead people? Like, they already died, and then they died again?

    Methinks if I ever was walking in some hallway and passed by the ‘Lost Skeezy Tramps Room’ this purse would be all sorts of floating around in there.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  42. fancyshmancy
    November 11, 2009 at 1:12 pm

    As a person who has an emphatic love for cock AND for vintage purses,I must say that I would not add this to my collection…..In this case,due to this person’s rudimentary painting skills.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  43. Fae
    November 11, 2009 at 1:20 pm
  44. DucksNew
    November 11, 2009 at 1:20 pm

    Wait, Colonel Sanders loves cock?

    I think this seller got a deal on Scrabble tiles http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=10167836
    They’ll have a harder time when they get down to the garbage letters, though.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  45. Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell
    November 11, 2009 at 1:55 pm

    I call shenanigans on Fae.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  46. Fae
    November 11, 2009 at 2:06 pm

    Does that mean I’m gonna get hit with a broom?

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  47. jojo
    November 11, 2009 at 2:11 pm

    You know, it’s just fucking ugly. Plain and simple. And it’s not a “matter of taste,” it’s just bad. I’m sick of ugly shit.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  48. Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell
    November 11, 2009 at 2:22 pm

    No broom Fae, I just looked up a vagina in Gray’s Anatomy, now I see the resemblance.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  49. DollarStorePregnancyTest
    November 11, 2009 at 2:30 pm

    @ #43 Fae

    That Georgia O’Keefe-inspired flower-vagina purse is doubly whimsical according to its description. Perhaps it’s even whisicle?

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  50. kurlygurl722
    November 11, 2009 at 2:31 pm

    OMG I’m LOL’ing at all your comments. Seriously though, I’m considering getting this for my gay next door neighbor.. it would go nice with the 5 foot purple cock statue in his living room. =)

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  51. Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell
    November 11, 2009 at 2:40 pm

    #49 DSPT: whisicle? please be on purpose, please be on purpose,please be on purpose. Like when you whiz whimsy? #50 kurlygurl, please be true, please be true, please be true. A 5 foot cock? Is he single?

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  52. tomasz.
    November 11, 2009 at 3:40 pm

    #27 Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell :

    Oh, and the first person singular is “I” not “i”.

    Tell that to E.E. Cummings. Orthography ain’t grammar.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  53. Cath of Canberra
    November 11, 2009 at 3:41 pm

    LOL! Love it! (And by “love” I mean no way in hell would I buy it, but it made me laugh.)

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  54. crapgawker
    November 11, 2009 at 3:59 pm

    In the description:
    For a little lagniappe, when you purchase this purse, if you tell me in the notes to seller why this was something you absolutely must have, then I’ll throw in a sweet pair of handmade, badass earrings I made. Think: guns and beer.

    Oh, hell yes! I love guns AND beer. I’m gonna buy it to get those badass earrings – AND because I love cock.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  55. Jea
    November 11, 2009 at 4:33 pm

    I love cock too
    but I ain’t carrying this shit ugly and bad idea of a purse :D

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  56. chicaflamenca
    November 11, 2009 at 5:36 pm

    Cocks. That is some funnnny shit. Poorly executed…but funnnnnnny.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  57. ihatecowls
    November 11, 2009 at 5:42 pm

    She says they were sitting around in their living room when they had this fantastic idea to make this cock bag.

    Highly likely there was a large bong involved as well

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  58. Anastasia
    November 11, 2009 at 5:43 pm

    So she found some old bag in her grandmother’s back closet (OH the innuendos) and used a penny’s worth of paint and ten minutes of her time to do this. And it’s $84. Wow.

    WAIT. I just noticed there’s only one in stock. Must have.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  59. Anastasia
    November 11, 2009 at 5:47 pm

    Oh HOLD UP:

    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=33702102

    A necklace made out of 17 zippers and some ribbon? And it’s only $85? BARGAIN!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  60. Jea
    November 11, 2009 at 7:22 pm

    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=34282346
    This is pretty awesome
    not practical though

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  61. greenfuzz
    November 11, 2009 at 8:50 pm

    It’s fucking whimsical.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  62. ihatecowls
    November 11, 2009 at 8:56 pm

    #61 no, WHIMSICLE

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  63. ihatecowls
    November 11, 2009 at 8:57 pm

    I am really starting to think Etsy should be juried, at least to weed out the bad crap- but then we wouldnt have Regretsy. I get to be mean here.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  64. Stiflers Mom
    November 11, 2009 at 9:52 pm

    I . . .um . . .actually kind of like it, but my entire family would kill me if I bought it.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  65. Jaded Gems
    November 11, 2009 at 10:22 pm

    Get in line, honey.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  66. The Blue Kraken
    November 11, 2009 at 10:40 pm

    this would be the perfect thing for either a Tennessee game cock fan.. or a street corner hooker in NY to carry.

    #50 that’s some funny shit.. do it. perfect Xmas present

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  67. priceless
    November 11, 2009 at 11:06 pm

    @ #44 Ducksnew – maybe Colonel Sanders DOES like cock but I think what Mayor of Bethville was getting at is “loves CHICKEN”

    which, btw #36 I thought was friggin hilarious and clever!

    HK’s comment also priceless… this seller’s gonna need to get busy if it hits hollywood…lotta cock lovers with too many purses out there!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  68. priceless
    November 11, 2009 at 11:08 pm

    but taking a second look at the purse, maaaybe not. That bag screams “my great granny passed and all that was left for me was her shoddy handbag!” Sure ain’t no Versace anyway.

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  69. Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell
    November 12, 2009 at 2:31 am

    #52 tomaz.
    Cummings’ publishers and others have sometimes echoed the unconventional orthography in his poetry by writing his name in lower case and without periods. Cummings himself used both the lowercase and capitalized versions but according to his widow did not, as reported in the preface of one book,[1] have his name legally changed to “e e cummings”. He did, however, write to his French translator that he preferred the capitalized version[2]- Wikipeida Improper orthography is still…

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  70. Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell
    November 12, 2009 at 2:32 am

    WRONG!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  71. Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell
    November 12, 2009 at 2:36 am

    i’m kidding!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  72. easy
    November 12, 2009 at 2:54 am

    …and all this time I thought that symbol meant “rooster.” I was thinking of retiring my rooster knickknack collection, but with this new perspective, I think I’ll keep it! Sans handbag, though.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  73. sar-sar
    November 12, 2009 at 5:00 am

    dear god someone needs to work on their poultry anatomy, that really looks more like a hen than a cock, and thus is sending me mixed signals… maybe she means pre-op tranny cocks?

    holy fuck.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  74. sbarnes2
    November 12, 2009 at 7:06 am

    This is the first thing I have actually seen on Etsy before Regretsy.

    Totally whack, Jack. What was this, a ripoff of some bad t-shirt?

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  75. bellafelle
    November 12, 2009 at 9:14 am

    OMG I love COCK TOO!!!!! we should be BFF!!!!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  76. ohdearydearyme
    November 12, 2009 at 12:43 pm

    See – I like the concept – I have a friend who would carry the I ♥ Cock bag with pride.

    Pity it’s so frigging ugly.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  77. TooManyCookbooks
    November 12, 2009 at 2:56 pm

    Oh, that poor handbag. It deserved so much more!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  78. Kathleen
    November 12, 2009 at 4:16 pm

    I like the zipper necklaces.
    But these purses! She has taken perfectly good purses and ruined them with completely unskilled painting.
    If the execution were better, I might like this.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  79. BillzPiece
    November 12, 2009 at 10:29 pm

    I think that the design would look lovely on a diaper bag!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  80. Tdogdd
    November 13, 2009 at 4:46 pm

    Well at least its an honest statement. Don’t know if I would like to advertise it

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  81. Recovering Crack Baby
    November 27, 2009 at 10:17 pm

    Well I think a little cock and balls never hurt nobody… When I own this, it will have dingle balls coming down the zipper.

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  82. Recovering Crack Baby
    November 27, 2009 at 10:21 pm

    No zipper, just a snap. What an easy bag to get into. Now I will have to put my dingle balls on the handle- right where I can hold them as I so gracefully stroll down the street.

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  83. Recovering Crack Baby
    November 27, 2009 at 10:23 pm

    #79- Get you an Etsy site and whip up a couple Maternity shirts while these are still hot.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  84. Elia
    May 13, 2011 at 3:14 pm

    She probably have one with Pussy too.

    ps. I’ll bet you ANYTHING she wasn’t fucked in the last 12 monts!.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  85. shaylalalynn
    January 7, 2012 at 12:34 pm

    I showed this to my boyfriend and all he said was “I love chicken-fish??”

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

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