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86 comments
Nothing says “it touches my heart” like an inkjet death certificate in a frame with a bow on it. It’s almost as nice as a book of carbonless invoices from Staples, but I’d only suggest that if you really know the person.
Nov 10, 20091:06 pm
It’d be cool if they donated some of the profit to some sort of rescue organization, IMHO.
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Nov 10, 20091:07 pm
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Nov 10, 20091:09 pm
So, let me get this straight. You’re going to give an AWARD CERTIFICATE to someone when their
Might I add that for $10, you can buy a whole pack of blank certificates at Staples.
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Nov 10, 20091:10 pm
If any one of my “friends” gave this to me upon the death of either my dog or cat…I’d wonder wtf they were thinking. seriously.
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Nov 10, 20091:10 pm
Might I add that for $10, you can buy a whole pack of blank certificates at Staples.
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Nov 10, 20091:10 pm
Contrags that your god dyed.
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Nov 10, 20091:12 pm
LMAO Stringray (#3). You got it!
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Nov 10, 20091:13 pm
WTF…It doesn’t even come already framed!! I want it to hurt the person that hands me one of these, when I throw it back at them.
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Nov 10, 20091:13 pm
Wow! This really sets a new low for Etsy. I wonder how long it will be before someone offers a trophy to give to someone when their pet dies?
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Nov 10, 20091:16 pm
Some of these item descriptions on Etsy remind me of the SNL skits with Frankenstein, Tonto, and Tarzan.
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Nov 10, 20091:16 pm
Wow, nothing says you really give a shit like a $10 printed piece of paper made by the really tough program of Word. I think even my 90 year old grandma could make this.
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Nov 10, 20091:22 pm
I’d make up a little ‘giving’ ceremony that involved some of the pet’s fur, burning in a little incense burner in front of the framed certificate- maybe I’d wear a gypsy dangler or similar whimsie….
I’m working on it.
p
x
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Nov 10, 20091:23 pm
#9 Hawkeye: You’re very fortunate, I loosed my grandma long ago.
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Nov 10, 20091:25 pm
“DEATH BAAAAAAAD”
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Nov 10, 20091:29 pm
how come no one on this f*#king planet knows how to spell LOSE? ……..erghhhhh APOwi;fj wIOWI
IT BOILS MY BLOOD.
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Nov 10, 20091:30 pm
Am I supposed to give this to my ‘friend’ before or after it dies? Because…I was wondering…can animals read better after they die? Do they care?…just wondering.
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Nov 10, 20091:30 pm
SNL could get some good material here!
This is just stoopid! Did you see the potholder eye glasses holder to hang around your neck… nice!
I think she might actually be your 90 year old grandma.
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Nov 10, 20091:31 pm
#11 – LOL. That’s great. Maybe you could buy the dread lock hoodie and offer your condolences through interpretive (psychedelic) dance.
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Nov 10, 20091:31 pm
Maybe she can make me a doctorate from Oxford?
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Nov 10, 20091:34 pm
Stingray- someone better go find her.
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Nov 10, 20091:36 pm
Why are there so many crazy crafters with bad spelling? I wonder.
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Nov 10, 20091:37 pm
#17 Leslee: Let me know if you see her, she like children, is man best friend and confidant
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Nov 10, 20091:45 pm
“There” pet’s name and age??
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Nov 10, 20091:45 pm
horrific.
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Nov 10, 20091:51 pm
Oh…PERSONALEARTHQUAKE…..ME TOO….ME TOO! I cannot HANDLE the incorrect use of those words. FOR ALL WHO READ: Loose is to let something go, and LOSE is when something is LOST. Please. Take note NOW!!!!!!
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Nov 10, 20091:52 pm
Did the pet win something? I don’t get it.
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Nov 10, 20092:00 pm
Argh! Pet (hah!) peeve spelling issue! People, try this: if your pants are LOOSE, you may LOSE them.
P.S. My cat died this summer and if someone tried to give me this certificate, I would try and strangle them with it.
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Nov 10, 20092:02 pm
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Nov 10, 20092:09 pm
This is just disturbing. Not to mention when my family’s first dog died I’m pretty sure the place that cremated her sent us a certificate when they sent her ashes. The only way this would be worse is if they misspelled something on the certificate: “In loving memory of Pots”
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Nov 10, 20092:10 pm
Just move this to the SOLD section and get it over with. If there’s someone out there that’s stupid enough to conceive it, then there’s someone dumb enough to order it. Why, I can hear some crazy old broad hunting and pecking away at her keyboard now, while her dead cat sits in the freezer. “I would like to order a certificate for my cat Freckles. Does it come in Pink? Will this bring her back?”
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Nov 10, 20092:10 pm
Wood u tryst this women to spel yur dogs name write?
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Nov 10, 20092:14 pm
It’s like something from an alternate universe where certificates were invented instead of greeting cards. Happy birthday certificates, get well soon certificates, Valentine’s day certificates, sorry your dog died certificates…
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Nov 10, 20092:18 pm
#24 I wouldn’t flush it, but maybe you could order some embroidered toilet paper with your pet’s picture on it…
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Nov 10, 20092:23 pm
#25 yeah its true, you get a certificate when you cremate your pet. It definitely doesn’t say “Pet Certificate” at the top. And yes I’ve got two I didn’t throw away, neither did I frame them.
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Nov 10, 20092:30 pm
This person can spell “confidant” and “friend” correctly but misses “their” (multiple times) and, as others have pointed out, “lose”. “And and” what does “like children, man best friend …” mean?
But, people, does Staples offer FREE SHIPPING? It’s worth it.
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Nov 10, 20092:49 pm
If it’s January 14, 2009, you are all set.
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Nov 10, 20092:55 pm
I recently lost the kitty-meow love of my life. If someone handed me this piece of crap in a frame with a bow, I’d be on death row.
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Nov 10, 20092:56 pm
Looking at her shop, I bet English is not her first language, especially when you put “Exquisite Designs” in her shop title.
Obviously, the meaning of “Exquisite” is not clear.
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Nov 10, 20092:57 pm
HK – Humor us. File under “Spelling Issues” please.
(please?)
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Nov 10, 20092:57 pm
Sellers who can’t spelle should be automatically ejected from etsy.
Also who the fuck actually puts a DEATH certificate on their wall??? Why the fucking frame?? Obviously this idiot has never had anyone die in their family
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Nov 10, 20093:10 pm
What the HELL was I thinking? I just spent over $200 on this elaborate personalized urn for my 16 year old chow (RIP Baerleht)… and then I see that for only $10 I could have had THIS!?
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Nov 10, 20093:15 pm
The fact that it has my birthday on it really freaks me out.
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Nov 10, 20093:29 pm
Can I flush it with my fish? Or will it clog my toilet? ‘Cause flushing it would be appropriate for it don’t you think?
Not only is this stupid in every sense, you can just print the zoomed view and save the $10.00… If you really wanted to present this insensitive thing to your distraught friend that is.
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Nov 10, 20093:31 pm
I’ve been reading this site since it started, but this was the listing that made me register. OMG if someone gave me this when one of my cats had died…well…I would no longer be speaking to her. I received sympathy cards (which I still have and cherish) but this is beyond the pale. This seller is a clueless twit.
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Nov 10, 20094:15 pm
Maybe someone could give me one of these with a nice hat made from my pets fur.
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Nov 10, 20094:15 pm
How about her “Ying and Yong” “pendent”?
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=30914221
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Nov 10, 20094:27 pm
This etsy seller needs to hook up with the seller who overused the apostrophes. Together they may just get it all together
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Nov 10, 20094:55 pm
“”It’d be cool if they donated some of the profit to some sort of rescue organization, IMHO.”"
Dude. That would be the whole freaking $10.
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Nov 10, 20095:13 pm
i know your dog died last month, but let’s commemorate the day i gave you this certificate, proving what an insensitive, shitty friend i am. and let’s put my name on it, because hey, i shelled out $10 bucks for memory.
and why is not called “Dead Pet Certificate?” as in, i hereby certify that YOUR DOG IS DEAD.
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Nov 10, 20095:38 pm
That “presented” bit- omg thats atrocious
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Nov 10, 20095:39 pm
the ying and YONG thing omg thats ugly
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Nov 10, 20095:49 pm
—-> HERE! I fixed the certificate to convey exactly what it should! ENJOY!!
http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x189/hanna_emma/petcertificatecopy.jpg
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Nov 10, 20095:52 pm
PS: Photoshop didn’t catch the 2 words stuck together… I guess I need speeel chek for it! ;P LOL!!
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Nov 10, 20096:17 pm
Lol yeah #53 that sums it up
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Nov 10, 20096:21 pm
its so ridiculous- the only reason they make death certificates is for legal reasons- wills and such. And i mean its not as though i ever dig out my parents death certificates and look at them. I wouldnt even know whee they are and its only been 2 years!! But to frame them?? Its not different with pets – in that you dont need a reminder on your fricken wall!!
omg i almost feel liek convoing this seller!!!
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Nov 10, 20096:22 pm
besides all that this death certificate is ugly as shit and looks like its veen spat out of a dot matrix printer circa 1987
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Nov 10, 20096:23 pm
*been*
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Nov 10, 20096:31 pm
I wonder what you’re supposed to do if your dog dies in May, and your certificate says January 14.
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Nov 10, 20098:04 pm
#53 everydaymama : You’d probably sell more of those than she will sell of these. Heck, put it on a T-shirt, and you could probably get rich. Stuck-together words and all, nice one. 
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Nov 10, 20098:11 pm
#56 I triple (dead) dog dare you to convo her with a “wtf? Are you REALLY that socially retarded?” or the like.
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Nov 10, 20098:43 pm
you know .. if you think this is a great idea to give as a gift to someone who lost their beloved pet… seek counciling. you are an insensitive jackass.
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Nov 10, 20098:48 pm
If in the event of a pet’s death a “friend” ever gives me one of these, that person will instantly and irrevokably become a non-friend.
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Nov 10, 20098:49 pm
This is just wrong in so many ways.
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Nov 10, 20098:52 pm
See, at first I thought it was supposed to be a certificate that was in memory of my pet certificate… which I lost a little while ago, and I thought, “How nice, a posthumous tribute to paperwork” In memory of this dog license, which found its way to the great beyond after the spring cleaning of 1987 when it was sorted into the “throw away” pile.
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Nov 10, 20099:31 pm
Next up: “My pet died and all I got was this lousy t-shirt” shirts and “My dead pet was student of the month at *School Name Here” bumper stickers…
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Nov 10, 20099:32 pm
OMG and if anyone convos this seller she will wind up in the forums talking about the “rude and harassing” convo she just got and hey, she’s just “trying to make some sells”. lmao
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Nov 10, 20099:46 pm
@#60 carecaribou: LMAO!!! Now there’s an idea.
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Nov 10, 200910:13 pm
Sorry about your beloved pet. Have a nice heaping pile of mockery in a nice frame and a big fucking bow.
Man, if I hung that shit in my house, I could see the look on my dog Cody’s face, her Siberian Husky smartass cocked eyebrow look like “…Seriously? I was ‘Like children, man best friend and confidant’ for 14 fucking years and this is how you honor me?”
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Nov 10, 200910:55 pm
It belongs in the crapbook with the embroidered toilet paper.
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Nov 10, 200911:05 pm
I love when I see people who “create” (I use the term create very loosely here) things that require words, and spelling who CAN’T FRIGGIN’ SPELL SIMPLE WORDS CORRECTLY!!
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Nov 11, 20092:17 am
#43, you made me laugh, that has to be the single most disturbing point made (why the hell did she pick a specific date anyway?).
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Nov 11, 20096:53 am
I had to sign up with Wordpress JUST so I could finally comment on this. I love laughing at most of the crap on Regretsy, but stuff like this just pisses me off. I’ve bought a few truly beautiful well-crafted items off Etsy, but this is hitting a new low. BTW, she can’t spell because she’s completely undereducated and figures doing this will bring in some income. It won’t. Even on Etsy this won’t do well.
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Nov 11, 20096:55 am
Just because you loosed someone doesn’t mean that they are dead.
Getting dad’s death cert out and copying for all the fam…note to self> need to buy bag of bows
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Nov 11, 20097:05 am
A blank certificate form that was probably a nickel. A penny’s worth of ink (ok a nickel, ink ain’t cheap). So ten cents worth of materials and it would take a reasonably skilled person two minutes, tops, to type in the info and print it. Shove it in an envelope and one stamp to mail. And how nice of her, free shipping to the US. Five bucks anywhere else. Wow. So she makes nearly 100% profit if she sells one of these. As the tag says “not remotely handmade.”
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Nov 11, 20097:33 am
@#53 everydaymama – LOVE IT.
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Nov 11, 20097:49 am
What I am most amused by is that someone actually hearted this on Sept 15th.
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Nov 11, 20099:18 am
Oh man, click on the actual shop. At the top, the description says it can be made for PEOPLE TOO! Can they be made for Etsy shops? Because I want to order one for hers with today’s date instead of Jan 14th.
And good job on the improved cert. #53!
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Nov 11, 200912:16 pm
Anyone else notice her shop name??
shoptillyoudropnow – so if we drop while shopping her store does our family get a certificate including our information to reveal our secretly horrid tastes in “art”?
And ‘Refunds true paypal’?? wtf??
as for shipping – i want to know if this option is available for my deadpet certificate:
“For breakables I use popcorn and bubble wrap to make sure, you get it in one peace.” Does the popcorn ruin the appearance of the certificate or is it extra…
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Nov 11, 20094:59 pm
I have been laughing so hard my husband keeps looking over at me. I loosed my beloved Pyr last year and she would have asked if that certificate was used to wrap up some steak. I am confused… are you supposed to give this to a person who has lost a pet or are you supposed to give it to the dead pet? Either one is extremely creepy.
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Nov 11, 200910:57 pm
Thanks #53 for rectifying the situation. And shame on this seller for thinking your hammy Word Doc is the best thing a friend can do for the grieving. I’m pretty sure she printed out her own Certificate of Completion from the Grief Counseling At-Home Study Course, too. (It’s on the wall with a bow so she won’t “loose” it).
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Nov 16, 20099:29 am
Hey Jeffreyrcarey (#36) – but she DIDN’T get confidant right, because what she meant (I think, altho’ tis hard to tell, really) is “confidante.” Good lord, the spelling, THE SPELLING!!!!!!!! ohhhhh, my eyes . . . . .
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Dec 4, 20091:47 pm
Comment
In ridicule of — Regretsy Item —
That item is so — Clever Comment — it’s — Clever Comment —.
By — Your Name —
Now give me my $10!
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Jan 3, 20106:06 pm
WTF! Jesus Christ! I’ll take one for my Mother.
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Jan 6, 20108:35 pm
Would one do a second, “Child Certificate” if a child had been run over while walking the pet on
“that day”?
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Feb 2, 20109:00 am
talk about turning over in the grave -my beloved passed on furry friends would be cringin’ all the way to the rainbow bridge if they were dishonored in this trite way.
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