Good Form
Nothing says “it touches my heart” like an inkjet death certificate in a frame with a bow on it. It’s almost as nice as a book of invoices from Staples, but I’d only suggest that if you really know the person.
Nothing says “it touches my heart” like an inkjet death certificate in a frame with a bow on it. It’s almost as nice as a book of invoices from Staples, but I’d only suggest that if you really know the person.
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November 10, 2009 at 1:06 pm
I hate it when I “loose” a pet without giving him his certificate first. I like to say a few words at this time: “Fluffy, you’ve been a great pet, but it’s time to let you loose, just as we did the children. But here’s your certificate. Now get lost.”
November 10, 2009 at 1:06 pm
It’d be cool if they donated some of the profit to some sort of rescue organization, IMHO.
November 10, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Can one of you order this for my family when I die? Oak frame, green bow.
November 10, 2009 at 1:09 pm
So, let me get this straight. You’re going to give an AWARD CERTIFICATE to someone when their
Might I add that for $10, you can buy a whole pack of blank certificates at Staples.
November 10, 2009 at 1:10 pm
If any one of my “friends” gave this to me upon the death of either my dog or cat…I’d wonder wtf they were thinking. seriously.
November 10, 2009 at 1:10 pm
So, let me get this straight. You’re going to give an AWARD CERTIFICATE to someone when their pet dies? “Congratulations! That barking POS is dead!”
Might I add that for $10, you can buy a whole pack of blank certificates at Staples.
November 10, 2009 at 1:10 pm
Spelling issues, much? I half expect one of these things to say…
Contrags that your god dyed.
November 10, 2009 at 1:12 pm
LMAO Stringray (#3). You got it!
November 10, 2009 at 1:13 pm
WTF…It doesn’t even come already framed!! I want it to hurt the person that hands me one of these, when I throw it back at them.
November 10, 2009 at 1:13 pm
Wow! This really sets a new low for Etsy. I wonder how long it will be before someone offers a trophy to give to someone when their pet dies?
November 10, 2009 at 1:16 pm
Some of these item descriptions on Etsy remind me of the SNL skits with Frankenstein, Tonto, and Tarzan.
November 10, 2009 at 1:16 pm
Wow, nothing says you really give a shit like a $10 printed piece of paper made by the really tough program of Word. I think even my 90 year old grandma could make this.
November 10, 2009 at 1:22 pm
I’d make up a little ‘giving’ ceremony that involved some of the pet’s fur, burning in a little incense burner in front of the framed certificate- maybe I’d wear a gypsy dangler or similar whimsie….
I’m working on it.
p
x
November 10, 2009 at 1:23 pm
#9 Hawkeye: You’re very fortunate, I loosed my grandma long ago.
November 10, 2009 at 1:25 pm
“DEATH BAAAAAAAD”
November 10, 2009 at 1:29 pm
how come no one on this f*#king planet knows how to spell LOSE? ……..erghhhhh APOwi;fj wIOWI
IT BOILS MY BLOOD.
November 10, 2009 at 1:30 pm
Am I supposed to give this to my ‘friend’ before or after it dies? Because…I was wondering…can animals read better after they die? Do they care?…just wondering.
November 10, 2009 at 1:30 pm
SNL could get some good material here!
This is just stoopid! Did you see the potholder eye glasses holder to hang around your neck… nice!
I think she might actually be your 90 year old grandma.
November 10, 2009 at 1:31 pm
#11 – LOL. That’s great. Maybe you could buy the dread lock hoodie and offer your condolences through interpretive (psychedelic) dance.
November 10, 2009 at 1:31 pm
Maybe she can make me a doctorate from Oxford?
November 10, 2009 at 1:34 pm
Stingray- someone better go find her.
November 10, 2009 at 1:36 pm
Why are there so many crazy crafters with bad spelling? I wonder.
November 10, 2009 at 1:37 pm
#17 Leslee: Let me know if you see her, she like children, is man best friend and confidant
November 10, 2009 at 1:45 pm
“There” pet’s name and age??
November 10, 2009 at 1:45 pm
horrific.
November 10, 2009 at 1:51 pm
Oh…PERSONALEARTHQUAKE…..ME TOO….ME TOO! I cannot HANDLE the incorrect use of those words. FOR ALL WHO READ: Loose is to let something go, and LOSE is when something is LOST. Please. Take note NOW!!!!!!
November 10, 2009 at 1:52 pm
Did the pet win something? I don’t get it.
November 10, 2009 at 2:00 pm
Argh! Pet (hah!) peeve spelling issue! People, try this: if your pants are LOOSE, you may LOSE them.
P.S. My cat died this summer and if someone tried to give me this certificate, I would try and strangle them with it.
November 10, 2009 at 2:02 pm
So…this is flushable if the pet that died is a goldfish, right?
November 10, 2009 at 2:09 pm
This is just disturbing. Not to mention when my family’s first dog died I’m pretty sure the place that cremated her sent us a certificate when they sent her ashes. The only way this would be worse is if they misspelled something on the certificate: “In loving memory of Pots”
November 10, 2009 at 2:10 pm
Just move this to the SOLD section and get it over with. If there’s someone out there that’s stupid enough to conceive it, then there’s someone dumb enough to order it. Why, I can hear some crazy old broad hunting and pecking away at her keyboard now, while her dead cat sits in the freezer. “I would like to order a certificate for my cat Freckles. Does it come in Pink? Will this bring her back?”
November 10, 2009 at 2:10 pm
Wood u tryst this women to spel yur dogs name write?
November 10, 2009 at 2:14 pm
It’s like something from an alternate universe where certificates were invented instead of greeting cards. Happy birthday certificates, get well soon certificates, Valentine’s day certificates, sorry your dog died certificates…
November 10, 2009 at 2:18 pm
#24 I wouldn’t flush it, but maybe you could order some embroidered toilet paper with your pet’s picture on it…
November 10, 2009 at 2:23 pm
#25 yeah its true, you get a certificate when you cremate your pet. It definitely doesn’t say “Pet Certificate” at the top. And yes I’ve got two I didn’t throw away, neither did I frame them.
November 10, 2009 at 2:30 pm
This person can spell “confidant” and “friend” correctly but misses “their” (multiple times) and, as others have pointed out, “lose”. “And and” what does “like children, man best friend …” mean?
But, people, does Staples offer FREE SHIPPING? It’s worth it.
November 10, 2009 at 2:49 pm
If it’s January 14, 2009, you are all set.
November 10, 2009 at 2:55 pm
I recently lost the kitty-meow love of my life. If someone handed me this piece of crap in a frame with a bow, I’d be on death row.
November 10, 2009 at 2:56 pm
Looking at her shop, I bet English is not her first language, especially when you put “Exquisite Designs” in her shop title.
Obviously, the meaning of “Exquisite” is not clear.
November 10, 2009 at 2:57 pm
HK – Humor us. File under “Spelling Issues” please.
(please?)
November 10, 2009 at 2:57 pm
Sellers who can’t spelle should be automatically ejected from etsy.
Also who the fuck actually puts a DEATH certificate on their wall??? Why the fucking frame?? Obviously this idiot has never had anyone die in their family
November 10, 2009 at 3:10 pm
What the HELL was I thinking? I just spent over $200 on this elaborate personalized urn for my 16 year old chow (RIP Baerleht)… and then I see that for only $10 I could have had THIS!?
November 10, 2009 at 3:15 pm
The fact that it has my birthday on it really freaks me out.
November 10, 2009 at 3:29 pm
Can I flush it with my fish? Or will it clog my toilet? ‘Cause flushing it would be appropriate for it don’t you think?
Not only is this stupid in every sense, you can just print the zoomed view and save the $10.00… If you really wanted to present this insensitive thing to your distraught friend that is.
November 10, 2009 at 3:31 pm
I’ve been reading this site since it started, but this was the listing that made me register. OMG if someone gave me this when one of my cats had died…well…I would no longer be speaking to her. I received sympathy cards (which I still have and cherish) but this is beyond the pale. This seller is a clueless twit.
November 10, 2009 at 4:15 pm
Maybe someone could give me one of these with a nice hat made from my pets fur.
November 10, 2009 at 4:15 pm
How about her “Ying and Yong” “pendent”?
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=30914221
November 10, 2009 at 4:27 pm
This etsy seller needs to hook up with the seller who overused the apostrophes. Together they may just get it all together
November 10, 2009 at 4:55 pm
“”It’d be cool if they donated some of the profit to some sort of rescue organization, IMHO.”"
Dude. That would be the whole freaking $10.
November 10, 2009 at 5:13 pm
LOL at “presented on”
i know your dog died last month, but let’s commemorate the day i gave you this certificate, proving what an insensitive, shitty friend i am. and let’s put my name on it, because hey, i shelled out $10 bucks for memory.
and why is not called “Dead Pet Certificate?” as in, i hereby certify that YOUR DOG IS DEAD.
November 10, 2009 at 5:38 pm
That “presented” bit- omg thats atrocious
November 10, 2009 at 5:39 pm
the ying and YONG thing omg thats ugly
November 10, 2009 at 5:49 pm
—-> HERE! I fixed the certificate to convey exactly what it should! ENJOY!!
http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x189/hanna_emma/petcertificatecopy.jpg
November 10, 2009 at 5:52 pm
PS: Photoshop didn’t catch the 2 words stuck together… I guess I need speeel chek for it! ;P LOL!!
November 10, 2009 at 6:17 pm
Lol yeah #53 that sums it up
November 10, 2009 at 6:21 pm
its so ridiculous- the only reason they make death certificates is for legal reasons- wills and such. And i mean its not as though i ever dig out my parents death certificates and look at them. I wouldnt even know whee they are and its only been 2 years!! But to frame them?? Its not different with pets – in that you dont need a reminder on your fricken wall!!
omg i almost feel liek convoing this seller!!!
November 10, 2009 at 6:22 pm
besides all that this death certificate is ugly as shit and looks like its veen spat out of a dot matrix printer circa 1987
November 10, 2009 at 6:23 pm
*been*
November 10, 2009 at 6:31 pm
I wonder what you’re supposed to do if your dog dies in May, and your certificate says January 14.
November 10, 2009 at 8:04 pm
#53 everydaymama : You’d probably sell more of those than she will sell of these. Heck, put it on a T-shirt, and you could probably get rich. Stuck-together words and all, nice one.
November 10, 2009 at 8:11 pm
#56 I triple (dead) dog dare you to convo her with a “wtf? Are you REALLY that socially retarded?” or the like.
November 10, 2009 at 8:43 pm
you know .. if you think this is a great idea to give as a gift to someone who lost their beloved pet… seek counciling. you are an insensitive jackass.
November 10, 2009 at 8:48 pm
If in the event of a pet’s death a “friend” ever gives me one of these, that person will instantly and irrevokably become a non-friend.
November 10, 2009 at 8:49 pm
This is just wrong in so many ways.
November 10, 2009 at 8:52 pm
See, at first I thought it was supposed to be a certificate that was in memory of my pet certificate… which I lost a little while ago, and I thought, “How nice, a posthumous tribute to paperwork” In memory of this dog license, which found its way to the great beyond after the spring cleaning of 1987 when it was sorted into the “throw away” pile.
November 10, 2009 at 9:31 pm
Next up: “My pet died and all I got was this lousy t-shirt” shirts and “My dead pet was student of the month at *School Name Here” bumper stickers…
November 10, 2009 at 9:32 pm
OMG and if anyone convos this seller she will wind up in the forums talking about the “rude and harassing” convo she just got and hey, she’s just “trying to make some sells”. lmao
November 10, 2009 at 9:46 pm
@#60 carecaribou: LMAO!!! Now there’s an idea.
November 10, 2009 at 10:13 pm
Sorry about your beloved pet. Have a nice heaping pile of mockery in a nice frame and a big fucking bow.
Man, if I hung that shit in my house, I could see the look on my dog Cody’s face, her Siberian Husky smartass cocked eyebrow look like “…Seriously? I was ‘Like children, man best friend and confidant’ for 14 fucking years and this is how you honor me?”
November 10, 2009 at 10:55 pm
It belongs in the crapbook with the embroidered toilet paper.
November 10, 2009 at 11:05 pm
I love when I see people who “create” (I use the term create very loosely here) things that require words, and spelling who CAN’T FRIGGIN’ SPELL SIMPLE WORDS CORRECTLY!!
November 11, 2009 at 2:17 am
#43, you made me laugh, that has to be the single most disturbing point made (why the hell did she pick a specific date anyway?).
November 11, 2009 at 6:53 am
I had to sign up with WordPress JUST so I could finally comment on this. I love laughing at most of the crap on Regretsy, but stuff like this just pisses me off. I’ve bought a few truly beautiful well-crafted items off Etsy, but this is hitting a new low. BTW, she can’t spell because she’s completely undereducated and figures doing this will bring in some income. It won’t. Even on Etsy this won’t do well.
November 11, 2009 at 6:55 am
Just because you loosed someone doesn’t mean that they are dead.
Getting dad’s death cert out and copying for all the fam…note to self> need to buy bag of bows
November 11, 2009 at 7:05 am
A blank certificate form that was probably a nickel. A penny’s worth of ink (ok a nickel, ink ain’t cheap). So ten cents worth of materials and it would take a reasonably skilled person two minutes, tops, to type in the info and print it. Shove it in an envelope and one stamp to mail. And how nice of her, free shipping to the US. Five bucks anywhere else. Wow. So she makes nearly 100% profit if she sells one of these. As the tag says “not remotely handmade.”
November 11, 2009 at 7:33 am
@#53 everydaymama – LOVE IT.
November 11, 2009 at 7:49 am
What I am most amused by is that someone actually hearted this on Sept 15th.
November 11, 2009 at 9:18 am
Oh man, click on the actual shop. At the top, the description says it can be made for PEOPLE TOO! Can they be made for Etsy shops? Because I want to order one for hers with today’s date instead of Jan 14th.
And good job on the improved cert. #53!
November 11, 2009 at 12:16 pm
Anyone else notice her shop name??
shoptillyoudropnow – so if we drop while shopping her store does our family get a certificate including our information to reveal our secretly horrid tastes in “art”?
And ‘Refunds true paypal’?? wtf??
as for shipping – i want to know if this option is available for my deadpet certificate:
“For breakables I use popcorn and bubble wrap to make sure, you get it in one peace.” Does the popcorn ruin the appearance of the certificate or is it extra…
November 11, 2009 at 4:59 pm
I have been laughing so hard my husband keeps looking over at me. I loosed my beloved Pyr last year and she would have asked if that certificate was used to wrap up some steak. I am confused… are you supposed to give this to a person who has lost a pet or are you supposed to give it to the dead pet? Either one is extremely creepy.
November 11, 2009 at 10:57 pm
Thanks #53 for rectifying the situation. And shame on this seller for thinking your hammy Word Doc is the best thing a friend can do for the grieving. I’m pretty sure she printed out her own Certificate of Completion from the Grief Counseling At-Home Study Course, too. (It’s on the wall with a bow so she won’t “loose” it).
November 16, 2009 at 9:29 am
Hey Jeffreyrcarey (#36) – but she DIDN’T get confidant right, because what she meant (I think, altho’ tis hard to tell, really) is “confidante.” Good lord, the spelling, THE SPELLING!!!!!!!! ohhhhh, my eyes . . . . .
December 4, 2009 at 1:47 pm
Comment
In ridicule of — Regretsy Item —
That item is so — Clever Comment — it’s — Clever Comment —.
By — Your Name —
Now give me my $10!
January 3, 2010 at 6:06 pm
WTF! Jesus Christ! I’ll take one for my Mother.
January 6, 2010 at 8:35 pm
Would one do a second, “Child Certificate” if a child had been run over while walking the pet on
“that day”?
February 2, 2010 at 9:00 am
talk about turning over in the grave -my beloved passed on furry friends would be cringin’ all the way to the rainbow bridge if they were dishonored in this trite way.