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Granny Montana

Posted by Helen Killer 121 comments

- Submitted by Arielle Faye

Oh what’s the word I’m looking for . . . It’s french, I believe . . . Oh yes! UNCOMFORTABLE

121 Comments
Nov 9, 2009
10:14 am
#1 Such is the Craft Ninja :
WhatTheFuckingFUck.

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Nov 9, 2009
10:15 am
#2 everydaymama :
I can think of a few French words like c’est la merde! Or even la catastrophe!

Hell this is probably the WORST thing clothing-wise I’ve seen here so far. My eyes are bleeding!! Oh mon dieu!

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Nov 9, 2009
10:18 am
#3 vangoghbabe :

LADIES and GENTLEMEN!!!! I GIVE YOU THE GYPSY DANGLER!!

Isn’t she “darling”?

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Nov 9, 2009
10:18 am
#4 Efit :
Wah-lah, indeed.

(It’s “voila,” you strange old bird.)

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Nov 9, 2009
10:20 am
#5 vangoghbabe :
I bet Grandpa got lucky that night.

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Nov 9, 2009
10:20 am
#6 everydaymama :
How is this monstrosity supposed to resemble this:

http://blog.oregonlive.com/ent_impact_music/2009/09/medium_miley-portland.jpg

@#3: LMAO!!!!

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Nov 9, 2009
10:22 am
#7 Fae :

What the hell is a woman her age doing at a Miley Cyrus concert, let alone being inspired by her?

…also, I’d just like to point out how horrible that shirt fits her. It truncates her torso in the most unflattering way ever.

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Nov 9, 2009
10:23 am
#8 Fae :
ITS WHIMSICAL

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Nov 9, 2009
10:31 am
#9 everydaymama :

LOL!! Fae, I think you hit the nail on the head there ;P

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Nov 9, 2009
10:32 am
#10 amyjo816 :

IS somEone’S SHifT keY BRokin?

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Nov 9, 2009
10:34 am
#11 Lexiii :

“Being in my 40’s most people think i am a little over-the-top silly….”

40’s??? I think not. Late 50’s maybe.

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Nov 9, 2009
10:39 am
#12 Stingray Charles :

#3 VGB: LOL, The GD hasn’t aged well, has she?

And WTF? is the photo blurry, or am I going blind?

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Nov 9, 2009
10:41 am
#13 Efit :

#7 Fae – If by “truncates” you mean “creates a fugly muffin top” then yea. This old bag is scary.

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Nov 9, 2009
10:43 am
#14 Stingray Charles :
Granny Montanny?

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Nov 9, 2009
10:44 am
#15 vangoghbabe :

#12 it was grandpa…he took the pic…no auto focus

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Nov 9, 2009
10:44 am
#16 Moons in Leo :
Nobody’s kitchen curtains are safe around this babe.

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Nov 9, 2009
10:52 am
#17 Je :

It’s FaBuLouS, so, I must have it, plus, I’m about 25 years younger than she.

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Nov 9, 2009
10:53 am
#18 Stingray Charles :

#5 VGB: Yes, that would make quite a delightful Viagra commercial.

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Nov 9, 2009
10:54 am
#19 DucksNew :
#4, thank you! People who spell it like they (incorrectly) pronounce it drive me nuts. Them again, she also misspelled “bomb” and “nuts”. Or maybe she meant “Da bum”, which is who she really got this idea from.

I wouldn’t buy this after she’s lounged around on her floor in it…this is an image I can’t get off my corneas now.

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Nov 9, 2009
10:57 am
#20 Booksanddecaf :
I’ve just learned a life lesson:

There are some things in life that you just can’t unsee.

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Nov 9, 2009
11:00 am
#21 DucksNew :
She needs camera lessons badly. And a cure for caps hiccuping.

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Nov 9, 2009
11:01 am
#22 sar-sar :

OMG… what the fuck?

As so many others said: voilà.
As in, voilà, online dictionaries are free! Or, google will offer to correct your spelling for you…

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Nov 9, 2009
11:01 am
#23 yermama :
Are You SuPPosed to Wear iT aZ ClOtHing Or IZ it JuSt LinGerIe foR THe BLIND???

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Nov 9, 2009
11:04 am
#24 symes :
Wah-lah, huh? I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that a Granny Montana correspondence begins with a greeting of or ends with a farewell of “chow”.

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Nov 9, 2009
11:09 am
#25 justajezabel :

It really scares me that there might be someone wearing this around right now…like her for instance

Where exactly would you wear this? Especially at her age, I mean.

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Nov 9, 2009
11:11 am
#26 vangoghbabe :
Grandpa’s Boodwoire

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Nov 9, 2009
11:15 am
#27 Tdogdd :

Did she channel Stevie Nicks or something I don’t think even a gypsy would wear this. Though she could sell it as a dust mop.

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Nov 9, 2009
11:15 am
#28 vangoghbabe :

C’est boudoir!

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Nov 9, 2009
11:16 am
#29 worldfamousfudgy :

This is priceless, I tell you! Utterly whimsical, and every inch the “gypsy dangler.” The description is disturbing in a number of ways and the spelling is atrocious. “Wah-lah!” sums it up.

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Nov 9, 2009
11:21 am
#30 worldfamousfudgy :

In visiting the shop, I encountered a number of highly troubling items, photos and wardrobe combinations… THIS item is giving me “J.T. Leroy” flashbacks: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=32822597

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Nov 9, 2009
11:21 am
#31 benconservato :

putain!

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Nov 9, 2009
11:22 am
#32 vangoghbabe :

Helen…idea, an epiphany really…
create a “room” with a fashion show of the wonderful fashions and accessories here on Regretsy…
I’m sure Tyra Banks would look quite scrumptious in the fraggle rock frock.

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Nov 9, 2009
11:26 am
#33 Withnail :

If she “had to design” the tutu for herself, then why is she selling it?

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Nov 9, 2009
11:30 am
#34 justajezabel :

#33 Perhaps she loves it so much, she designed two of them so you out there could match the beauty of her! MMMM yes…. :( It was hard to type that…

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Nov 9, 2009
11:31 am
#35 Holly Weird :

Da bomb? Sounds like someone went back in time to 1997. Do people still say that?

Very whimsical indeed! Or, as the seller might say whiiiiiiimmmmmssssssiiiiicccaaaallll!

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Nov 9, 2009
11:32 am
#36 Holly Weird :

#33 – obviously this piece of haute couture is too good to keep all to oneself. Sharing it with the world is really the only option here, wouldn’t you say?

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Nov 9, 2009
11:35 am
#37 yermom :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

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Nov 9, 2009
11:36 am
#38 rodgertheshrubber :
Hey, great you like to “dress up”. I’m down with that. I don’t think that stops as you get older.

I would just hope at a certain age it would be done with more style and grace, and with a modicum of elegance.

Being “inspired” by Miley would seem appropriate for a 12 yo….and if they made this ensemble as result….fine. Maybe even impressive. Perhaps the beginnings of a young designer.

But for someone over the age of 35…….it’s just sad.

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Nov 9, 2009
11:38 am
#39 quozzity :

can we have a new category ‘Inspired by Miley’? I’m sure she is a muse for many an artist…

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Nov 9, 2009
11:40 am
#40 ungratefulbiped :

She can’t help herself. She’s “nutts”!

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Nov 9, 2009
11:42 am
#41 justajezabel :

#35 YeAh tHiS Is WhImSicaL!!!111, so talk to the hand and Poof! be gone. (a la 1997)

#38 you almost made me spit out my skittles!

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Nov 9, 2009
11:47 am
#42 justajezabel :

sorry, it was showing #38 at the time, it is now #39… it was the “nutts” that did it

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Nov 9, 2009
11:48 am
#43 Helen Killer :
@ #37, Well, I certainly have no problem with people wanting to be creative, and taking pride in their craft. I just have problems with anyone over the age of 12 being inspired to dress like Miley Cyrus.

And if we couldn’t make fun of people anonymously, you’d have no way to call people “losers”. So it’s a win win all around.

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Nov 9, 2009
11:48 am
#44 carecaribou :

Stingray Charles wins all the Internets at #14.

That is all.

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Nov 9, 2009
11:49 am
#45 rodgertheshrubber :

No one is denying the fact she is “nutts”.

Maybe even bat shit, truth be told.

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Nov 9, 2009
11:57 am
#46 Holly Weird :
Somehow, it seems to me that anonymously calling people losers on the internet is really not that different than what we do here. So, welcome to the anonymous loser club, yermom.

Besides, if she doesn’t care what anyone thinks of her, then who are you to chastise us anyway?

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Nov 9, 2009
11:59 am
#47 rodgertheshrubber :
There’s a great line in Working girl delivered by Cyn, the character that is played by Joan Cusack.

“Sometimes I sing and dance around the house in my underwear. It doesn’t make me Madonna. Never will.”

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Nov 9, 2009
12:00 pm
#48 addiosix :

Oh Hell No.

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Nov 9, 2009
12:08 pm
#49 vangoghbabe :
Yermom…”including uptight losers hiding behind their computer screens to make fun of other people and their new found creative outlets…”

FYI … this IS my new found creative outlet…duh

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Nov 9, 2009
12:09 pm
#50 Night Cowl :
This just achy-broke my retinas.

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Nov 9, 2009
12:09 pm
#51 WasabiPorcupine :

First scrabble tiles.
Then “keep calm and carry on.”
Then fake mustaches and beards.
Followed by cowls.
Then fingerless gloves.
Then spats.
Can it be tutus next?
Oh, please, please, please let it be so!

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Nov 9, 2009
12:14 pm
#52 worldfamousfudgy :
Just as the creator of this “tutu” is allowed to express her whimsy via her “art”, the frequenters of this site have the right to express our confusion, disgust, terror and amusement in response to said creation.

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Nov 9, 2009
12:16 pm
#53 Withnail :

# 36 – I prefer keeping this sartorial herpes as far away possible.

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Nov 9, 2009
12:20 pm
#54 coffee and shoes :

Wah-lah? She totally watches Aunt Sandy and makes tablescapes. Semi-homemaker alert!

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Nov 9, 2009
12:21 pm
#55 addiosix :

When I am in my 40s, I fully intend to be covering up my ‘creative outlet’ with some nice Ann Taylor Loft clothes.

I will not prancing it out there in some godforsaken tutu ensemble in front of these very internets. Tsk tsk.

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Nov 9, 2009
12:25 pm
#56 whyohwhy :

I’m just happy she’s not my Mom.

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Nov 9, 2009
12:29 pm
#57 PokerFace :

Why does her avatar look like the twin girls from The Shining?

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Nov 9, 2009
12:32 pm
#58 vangoghbabe :

#55 she is my mom…..

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Nov 9, 2009
12:39 pm
#59 pauldodo :

#49 vangoghbabe :

Yermom…”including uptight losers hiding behind their computer screens to make fun of other people and their new found creative outlets…”

FYI … this IS my new found creative outlet…duh

Marry me VGB, and together we could roam the interweb from behind our pitiful computer screens… Or not.

P
X

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Nov 9, 2009
12:42 pm
#60 vangoghbabe :

Pauldodo….Sorry, I’m too uptight… ;)

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Nov 9, 2009
12:45 pm
#61 pauldodo :

VGB, no such thing as ‘too’ uptight, lover… :) Ask Yermom….

:)
p
x

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Nov 9, 2009
12:46 pm
#62 worldfamousfudgy :

The comments on this item are “da bom”! “sartorial herpes”!

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Nov 9, 2009
12:47 pm
#63 cptfknvicious :

i wouldn’t want anyone under the age of eighteen being inspired to dress like miley cyrus going by the way i’ve seen her dressed lately. my kid sure isn’t allowed to watch that skanky garbage parading around pretending to be a positive role-model.

and what the fuck? i could imagine my seven-year-old wanting to dress up in a tutu and a pairing it with a ratty t-shirt, but this lady should know better.

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Nov 9, 2009
12:49 pm
#64 vangoghbabe :

she’s not my mom! the old lady in the tutu is, how many times must a say it?

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Nov 9, 2009
12:52 pm
#65 pauldodo :

Badumph- tish!

p
x

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Nov 9, 2009
1:15 pm
#66 MyEyesMyEyes :

This is quite possibly the fugliest thing on Etsy. It looks like someone got their outfit caught in the industrial shredder at work.

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Nov 9, 2009
1:16 pm
#67 Stingray Charles :

She kinda reminds me of Aunt Peg, the 80’s MILF-esque porn star.

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Nov 9, 2009
1:27 pm
#68 crapgawker :

Hey Yermom – well you sure did tell us! Wah-la!

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Nov 9, 2009
1:27 pm
#69 gazoo :

If her room decor is any indication of her artistic expression, I’d say there’s a 1974 garage sale wanting to get their stuff back.

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Nov 9, 2009
2:08 pm
#70 everydaymama :

@#68, and as punishment for our nasty ways we must all wear the tutu while grocery shopping!

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Nov 9, 2009
2:30 pm
#71 Cold Salt :

Oh man, at first I thought “wah-lah” was just a litte exclamation she had, sorta like Jane Austen characters saying “lah!”

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Nov 9, 2009
2:41 pm
#72 Lexiii :

#71 You just soiled Jane Austen for me!

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Nov 9, 2009
2:43 pm
#73 NinjaGato :
Dear Miley and Crazy Old Miley Wannabe,
Please stop being acting like idiots and dressing like you stole the clothes of a Goldrush era whore. Please stop telling us you’re just being “creative.” Please return said whore her clothing as Street Corner Hooker must be freezing.
Kisses

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Nov 9, 2009
2:51 pm
#74 emily :

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=32820244 What about this? These strips of old carrier bags are so “whimsical & sassy” *ahem* (and the writing in the name makes my brain hurt)

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Nov 9, 2009
2:54 pm
#75 NinjaGato :

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=33306540

Look it’s a Tutu Mumu!

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Nov 9, 2009
3:02 pm
#76 regretmenot :

That is too too terrible…it’s just rags upon rags.

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Nov 9, 2009
3:05 pm
#77 Cold Salt :

ABusE oF tHE sHiFt KeY DOeS nOt AdD WhIMSy.

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Nov 9, 2009
3:22 pm
#78 sharon needles :

“HEy JeN & BabS, What R youZ 2 weArn to the HanNa ShinDiG?”

There are 2 masterminds behind this masterpiece… it’s all I’m sayin. That & “are all minds that think alike great?”

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Nov 9, 2009
3:23 pm
#79 Sunny Lea :

You know, I’d rather tell the truth about my age than make it look as if I have aged less than gracefully.

Hell, I’d lie and say I was 87, which would explain my senility in producing such an item, and make it appear that I’m really hot for my age.

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Nov 9, 2009
3:59 pm
#80 razberries :

this item should be named, ’scrappy DON’T’

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Nov 9, 2009
4:24 pm
#81 Diana :

Granny is an exhibitionist and trying to turn grand kiddies in little exhibitionists as well.

There ARE some things you can’t unsee, how unfortunate for me.

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Nov 9, 2009
4:26 pm
#82 vangoghbabe :

that’s my momma you’re talking about……

(must see all of above comments to get this one)

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Nov 9, 2009
4:46 pm
#83 Bobbi :

This is a sad attempt at “Hot Granny’s Porn” – They’re crossing state lines aren’t they? Where’s the FBI when you need ‘em…..

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Nov 9, 2009
5:08 pm

What has been seen, cannot be unseen.

*Shudder*

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Nov 9, 2009
5:23 pm
#85 AwwwwwwwSnap :

You know that thing is going to cause her to break a hip. :(

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Nov 9, 2009
5:38 pm
#86 i_hate_cowls_and_owls1 :

What is up with the blurry pictures? On second thought, maybe it’s better they are blurry.

Even the avatar pic of the Olson Twins is blurry.

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Nov 9, 2009
5:42 pm

the first words from my mouth on seeing this was “holly shit!” and just laugh… what the hell is this thing and do i really want to know?!

srsly Roxy!
#6 maybe she couldn’t afford more fabric? $2 a yard at walmart though and you’d need the whole bolt for the garment Miley wore.
tips
1 younger model please 2 more clothing please really i dont wana see your thighs*shudder*
3 m a k e t h e i m a g e n o t b l u r y . and dont take it in what looks a cramped boudoir or den

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Nov 9, 2009
7:25 pm
#88 js :
I think it’s cool she has fun dressing up (regardless of age), but she doesn’t need to share it quite so widely. A lot of people on Etsy seem to have trouble with the boundary between “private” and “public,” …not to mention differentiating between “first attempt” and “good enough to sell.”

To be honest while I have zero fondness for Miley Cyrus I do kind of like that tutu skirt she wore. I’m not seeing any resemblance whatsoever between the original and grandma’s godawful…

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Nov 9, 2009
7:25 pm
#89 js :

er, the last word in my previous note was intended to be “remake” but it appears to have gotten deleted…

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Nov 9, 2009
7:36 pm
#90 meminy the machete :
I find myself concerned that this woman is A: Going to Miley Cyrus concerts B: (And I may be dating myself a bit here) She so admires the wedding dress from the November Rain video on a teenage girl that she just *had* to have one herself and, most disturbing C: That she encourages her customers (whomever they may be) to, and I quote: “Be sure to catch some home video of your darling or yourself playing and dancing around in this happy little number.”

I think there’s a program for that…

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Nov 9, 2009
7:41 pm
#91 jojo :

Grandma might not be wearing panties. That’s what’s making her so free.

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Nov 9, 2009
7:41 pm
#92 lemon floor wax :

Before I rip my eyes out, let me say one word: voilà. It literally means “see [it] there” in French. It is not wah-la, wala, vwah la, haw la, or any other stupid ass ignorant incarnation. Dictionary.com is free, people, and that’s my helpful tip of the day.

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Nov 9, 2009
8:10 pm
Nov 9, 2009
8:23 pm
#94 Thousandaire :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

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Nov 9, 2009
10:17 pm

NinjaGato you may be one of the few with enough sense to find that as disturbing as i do. your link first sentence reads.
“Only the truest divas are worthy of rockin’ out in a flirty set like this! ”
the girl looks to be 7 or 8 years old and using words like “flirty”. this is as bad as the gay organization endorsing the “man boy love” society .. i think im guna go throw up now.. sick sick sick

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Nov 9, 2009
10:47 pm
#96 Petite :

First “voilà” doesn’t mean “see [it] there”. It can be used in a lot of different ways. It is more of an interjection than anything else. It is more like “this is it”. But very difficult to translate. So dictionnary.com might be free but it is also full of shit.

Second, french whores dress like any other whores in the world. And not in clownish kids clothes.

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Nov 9, 2009
10:55 pm
#97 priceless :

@ #94 Aww c’mon now. Making fun of Fox’s Parkinson’s?! Poor dude didn’t have anything to do with this monstrosity!

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Nov 9, 2009
11:14 pm
#98 ihatecowls :

say what?

someone tell this cougar the nineties are over

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Nov 9, 2009
11:55 pm
#99 NinjaGato :
Kraken- You’re right, I do find it disturbing. There’s a time and a place for “sexy” and “flirty” and it’s not Kindergarten. Off soapbox.
By the way NAMBLA (national ass. of man/boy love) isn’t a “gay organization” pedophiles aren’t necessarily homosexual regardless of the gender of their victims. It’s a power thing with those sick fuckers. I took criminal justice courses in college and quit them because I realized that I’d just shoot too many people.

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Nov 9, 2009
11:57 pm
#100 NinjaGato :

#96- Yes, but French Whores have that certain je ne sais quoi. You’ll have to excuse if spelling and punctuation is off, it’s been a while since 10th grade French class.

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Nov 10, 2009
12:27 am
#101 everydaymama :

Voila = Ta Da! (Translated by a French Quebecois where “Fringlish” is more of a language than pure French, and a poutine is considered a healthy meal, LOL!)

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Nov 10, 2009
2:40 am
#102 Street Corner Hooker :

French whores have so much class, but not as much class as me when I’m out under the crosswalk light in my long tutu and fishnets (made of actual fishnet — it’s whimsical!).

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Nov 10, 2009
5:33 am
#103 rouxfemme :

I love how this can be contorted all the way up to size 20.

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Nov 10, 2009
7:27 am
#104 ThisJustMakesMeSad :

Awk-woooord…

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Nov 10, 2009
9:16 am
#105 rudegrl :

#99 NinjaGato, I just wanted to point out that Kraken didn’t say that NAMBLA was a gay organization. She said it would be like if the gay organization supporting NAMBLA. (I rephrased what Kraken said).

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Nov 10, 2009
9:17 am
#106 StinkBait :

“InCreDibLe ViNtaGe CiNdeReLLa MasSiVe WEDDING SLIIP TuTu SwiRl SkiRt CosTuMe DreSS Up ViCtoRiaN ReTro PooFy White FlooFy BouNcy DarLiNg w Adjustable string ANY SIZE 2 4 6 8 10 12 14 16 18 20 Da BoM”

That title should be a bannable offense.

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Nov 10, 2009
10:40 am
#107 i am bean :

@ #37 *sigh*

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Nov 10, 2009
10:51 am
#108 leslee :

“Yea, We’re open!” &
“things really do happen for a reason.”

Well……?

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Nov 10, 2009
10:54 am
#109 bistitchual :

@#91 jojo:

There’s no ‘might’ about it, thus making the ewwww! factor of this tew!-tew! all the more ewwww!-ish.

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Nov 10, 2009
11:19 am

NinjaGato.. yea i know that.. im just about to finish my CJC degree in 2 weeks. im so not being a cop either.. alll evidence comparison

however its an unfortunate fact that the NAMBLA Demanded to be included in several gay pride marches in california and did in fact march with them.. so while i have nothing against gays… -_- lowers my opinion of the groups that didn’t fight it. gives NAMBLA more legitimacy
:( . so.. yay for the sexualizing of our young children. meh

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Nov 10, 2009
8:45 pm
#111 NinjaGato :

Kraken- I hadn’t heard that, that certainly lowers my opinion as well, not of the groups themselves but of the groups organizers that would have had the opportunity to stand up against it. All I can say is that if NAMBLA ever tries to march in a parade I’m involved in, I can’t promise that there won’t be a good old fashioned curb-stomping.

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Nov 11, 2009
3:48 am
#112 Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell :
Not sure how we got to NAMBLA, just wanted to say, as a gay man, I appreciated Kraken’s original point, fell just a little bit more in love with NinjaGato for her (god I hope I got the gender right)original response, agreed with rudegirl’s correction, despise the inclusion of NAMBLA in any GLBT event and adore all of you for caring.

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Nov 11, 2009
2:26 pm
#113 knitwithknives :

I seriously just got hot flashes over the horribleness of this. I bet this lady has hot flashes too. Menopausal Miley.

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Nov 11, 2009
5:54 pm
#114 itlives :

I think her choochoo is showing, but I don’t care to examine the photo too carefully. Someone hand me a fork so I can gouge my eyeballs out.

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Nov 11, 2009
10:44 pm
#115 VoteAudrey :

Regretfully, I’ve seen worse as far as fashion goes. (Yes, my retinas are burned)
I do think to expect to receive $49 for Granny Frederick’s of Dollywood’s frock is a bit much. I am sure there is someone that would love to have this worn garment, and it may fair better on another site.

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Nov 15, 2009
2:57 pm
#116 Sminke :

Yet another reason why Miley Cyrus just shouldn’t be.

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Nov 16, 2009
4:25 pm

GRANDMA NOOOOO!

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Nov 18, 2009
8:22 am
#118 ainotna :

haaaaa “da bom!”

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Nov 25, 2009
5:18 pm
#119 Subversive :

Whatever happened to Baby Jane? There you go, here’s your answer

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Dec 2, 2009
1:06 pm

This reminds me of when I caught my 90 old grandmother kissing her boyfriend!

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Jan 14, 2010
5:41 pm
#121 HomeAlone :

Is she raking that black boa through her crotch?

What is it with all the too close for comfort modeling on Etsy I’m seeing lately? Besides the obvious reasons, I will not be purchasing anything you’ve already shown me has potentially come in contact with bodily fluids or other hangers-on.

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