Its remarkable how the guy is STILL holding up his shirt in a very relaxed fashion, despite losing half his guts.
Its lucky that it has been “glazed for durability” because its certainly going to need to be tough when i purchase this out of a certain sense of duty to destroy this piece by setting it alight and throwing it off the Victorial bridge.
I mean … that sounds like a really fucked-up children’s book…
“Lulu, the Belly Button Witch, lived in Bobby’s belly button. Lulu was a sad Belly Button Witch because she could not come out for Halloween with all her friends. “I am too small for Halloween,” she sighed to herself, “If only I did not have to live in a belly button.” Suddenly, a blue-veined hag came along and ATE LULU UP! Blood gushed everywhere! The End.”
HEY! The guy has too many fingers! Unless that first finger is actually a thumb…no…or maybe that last tiny nub on the end is a skin tag? Eh, whatever, looks to me like he has five fingers and no thumb.
Also, is it me, or does the stuff hanging down from the belly button look like a little girl’s pigtail braid?
You know.. I have a recurring nightmare where I have a loose tooth. I jiggle and wiggle it until it comes out, but it’s not the only thing to come out. My entire row of teeth comes with it. I call it my string of pearls dream, because that’s what y teeth remind me of while they dangle there in front of my face.
Guess I ought to start practicing my brush strokes.
Pffft, why practice? I can sell it for uber money without it.
Know that commercial where the haughty rich broad gets the hot bellman to life up his shirt so she can draw lines of deodorant on his abs to see if it streaks?
That ‘view this image in a room’ feature finally convinced me to register so I could comment. Every time I see it, I know it’s going to be good! Thank you for taking the horror one step further into laughland.
Which begs the question: do people with belly button torture fetishes wear a certain color of handkerchief in a particular pocket of their jeans? If so, that seller who made the special pit sniffing fetish hanky should get right on it!
#33 hammerhead77 : Yes there is. It is a piece of lint in your right pocket if you like your bellybutton fucked with and a piece of lint in your left pocket if you like fucking with peoples bellybuttons
I really like the way the neck of the sweater is painted. No, really, that’s the only remotely good part of this painting. But the rest is going to give me nightmares about cafes.
Maybe she should paint portraits of Yokoo cowls instead.
Hey, I made in A in painting in college and my professor told me I showed skill and “very intriguing perspectives.” Now I know what to do with this as-yet-untapped talent of mine! I’m going to start painting my dreams and selling them on Etsy. The first one will be entitled “I am married to Paul Rudd but then I had to run and my legs wouldn’t work and I was doing naked aerobics in public.”
SERIOUSLY. No one even likes to LISTEN to other people’s dreams, much less buy a graphic…
Varicose veins of the face and neck?!!! No wonder the poor old witch is bitter about six- pack man’s perfect body- but then again, maybe he’ll learn not to drunk date on hallowe’en…..
sometimes I can’t wait for a new post not only because I love them, but so that something utterly disturbing is not on the top of the page. This is one of those times. Fish head squirrel was another.
I know those cookies look good, but even if she didn’t have this painting in her store, I think I’d be wary.
“These are a secret recipe chocolate chip cookie made with the same ingredients my grandmother taught me….Please do note that I have a secret ingredient so please do not for any one with food allergies.”
*shudder*
Isn’t it illegal to sell food without disclosing the ingredients?
“Isn’t it illegal to sell food without disclosing the ingredients?”
I believe that your kitchen has to be inspected by local authorities before you can sell food at the very least. I wouldn’t buy cookies from her. What the hell is the secret ingredient, blood?
Helen, the cookies were posted on the 10 th of September or something, surely they are not as ‘tasty’ as they were. I find a lot of stuff in the shop slightly disturbing especially this ‘special’ stained wedding book http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=31326709
“These are a secret recipe chocolate chip cookie made with the same ingredients my grandmother taught me….Please do note that I have a secret ingredient so please do not for any one with food allergies.”
Fish-head-squirrel guy really did give me nightmares. Ooh! I should paint it, then everybody could have fish-head-squirrel-creatures chasing them in their dreams too! Sweet.
I’d like to purchase this to scare my fiancee’s dad into a coma, since he is that freaked out over belly buttons. How bad is it you may wonder? Remember the jeans ad with the singing belly buttons that sang “I’m Comin’ Out” from the late 90s or early 2000s? He ran screaming from the room. He has to cover his stomach with a pillow when he sleeps and if you even slighty touch the pillow he’ll wake up in a spaz. So yeah, this painting could do damage…
November 6, 2009 at 4:20 pm
Hah!
The restaurant scene makes it.
November 6, 2009 at 4:23 pm
There are just some people that should refrain from expressing themselves.
November 6, 2009 at 4:25 pm
Well thank GOD its glazed for durability. I’d hate for the colours to fade over the years I’ll be displaying it over my mantle.
…I’m thinking its not a bellybutton that was bitten off, judging by the location of the blood spill.
November 6, 2009 at 4:32 pm
luckily, the inside part of the bellybutton doesn’t look like that. EEWWW. I’m sure because I spent a year dissecting cadavers in gross anatomy.
November 6, 2009 at 4:37 pm
Well isn’t this just fucking lovely! UGH!
November 6, 2009 at 4:49 pm
I just choked on my Chex Mix.
November 6, 2009 at 4:50 pm
Oh, she raised the price to 50.00. LMAO
November 6, 2009 at 4:50 pm
Another reason I’m glad to have an “inny” and not an “outie”.
November 6, 2009 at 4:52 pm
Its remarkable how the guy is STILL holding up his shirt in a very relaxed fashion, despite losing half his guts.
Its lucky that it has been “glazed for durability” because its certainly going to need to be tough when i purchase this out of a certain sense of duty to destroy this piece by setting it alight and throwing it off the Victorial bridge.
I just hope she ships to australia
November 6, 2009 at 4:56 pm
I kind of want to see this in a day care center room. That would really set the tone for nap time.
November 6, 2009 at 4:57 pm
Just because you can paint an awful picture (in both execution AND theme) doesn’t mean you should.
Say NO to bad art! (Ooh, maybe I could work up a t-shirt in photoshop and sell ‘em on Etsy!)
November 6, 2009 at 4:58 pm
P.S. I think a few coffee shops in my town would proudly display this painting.
In an ironic hipster manner, of course.
November 6, 2009 at 5:16 pm
Gross, just Gross.
November 6, 2009 at 5:27 pm
at least shes smartly dressed; nice, practical brown sweater. it gets chilly out there, you know?
November 6, 2009 at 5:50 pm
#14 – Maybe she sent some fur from an Irish Setter to that dog hair knitting seller and had the sweater specially crafted!
November 6, 2009 at 5:52 pm
Belly … Button … Witch.
I mean … that sounds like a really fucked-up children’s book…
“Lulu, the Belly Button Witch, lived in Bobby’s belly button. Lulu was a sad Belly Button Witch because she could not come out for Halloween with all her friends. “I am too small for Halloween,” she sighed to herself, “If only I did not have to live in a belly button.” Suddenly, a blue-veined hag came along and ATE LULU UP! Blood gushed everywhere! The End.”
Wait … is there an Etsy…
November 6, 2009 at 5:53 pm
Dammit. That was supposed to be “Wait … is there an Etsy Press?”
November 6, 2009 at 5:55 pm
HEY! The guy has too many fingers! Unless that first finger is actually a thumb…no…or maybe that last tiny nub on the end is a skin tag? Eh, whatever, looks to me like he has five fingers and no thumb.
Also, is it me, or does the stuff hanging down from the belly button look like a little girl’s pigtail braid?
November 6, 2009 at 6:04 pm
Glad I am not the only one who loves the “glazed for durability”. Some dreams are not meant to be art.
November 6, 2009 at 6:14 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
November 6, 2009 at 6:17 pm
Wow, I so totally know what this dream means… of course, now I have to call the dream police and the feds!
Helen Killer — you slay me!
November 6, 2009 at 6:32 pm
sar sar
is there some thing between you and hellen killer I’m not privy to that entails you telling her she slays you in every post?
November 6, 2009 at 6:39 pm
You know.. I have a recurring nightmare where I have a loose tooth. I jiggle and wiggle it until it comes out, but it’s not the only thing to come out. My entire row of teeth comes with it. I call it my string of pearls dream, because that’s what y teeth remind me of while they dangle there in front of my face.
Guess I ought to start practicing my brush strokes.
Pffft, why practice? I can sell it for uber money without it.
November 6, 2009 at 6:46 pm
Know that commercial where the haughty rich broad gets the hot bellman to life up his shirt so she can draw lines of deodorant on his abs to see if it streaks?
This is so much better than that.
November 6, 2009 at 7:00 pm
That ‘view this image in a room’ feature finally convinced me to register so I could comment. Every time I see it, I know it’s going to be good! Thank you for taking the horror one step further into laughland.
November 6, 2009 at 7:08 pm
Does he have six fingers?
November 6, 2009 at 7:10 pm
“I don’t know what it means but felt compelled to put it to canvas.”
It means the meth use needs to end.
November 6, 2009 at 7:18 pm
@Minime – no, that’s a foot.
November 6, 2009 at 7:33 pm
Now I might buy some of her cookies:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=18734323
November 6, 2009 at 7:35 pm
Holy shit, those look really good.
November 6, 2009 at 7:56 pm
Mr. six-pack should be grateful she only asked that he lift his shirt.
November 6, 2009 at 8:04 pm
Is this a painting pandering to those people who have “belly button torture” fetishes?
November 6, 2009 at 8:18 pm
Which begs the question: do people with belly button torture fetishes wear a certain color of handkerchief in a particular pocket of their jeans? If so, that seller who made the special pit sniffing fetish hanky should get right on it!
November 6, 2009 at 8:18 pm
hey. wait a minute- did the seller lower the price? i thought it was $50 earlier today…..
November 6, 2009 at 8:43 pm
If she is selling food (which looks awesome), WHY THE HELL would she put the baked goods in the same shop as this atrocity?
November 6, 2009 at 8:53 pm
Nothing worse than biting into a chocolate chip cookie and finding a chewed up bellybutton.
November 6, 2009 at 8:56 pm
Wow. Good thing the prints are limited editions. I would hate to know my vampiropus http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=23947402 would be hanging all over town.
November 6, 2009 at 9:33 pm
I do dream interpretation as a hobby. This painting says that you need to resolve some feelings between you and your mother.
November 6, 2009 at 9:38 pm
Her’shop has’s a lit’tle bit of every’thing.
November 6, 2009 at 9:38 pm
#33 hammerhead77 : Yes there is. It is a piece of lint in your right pocket if you like your bellybutton fucked with and a piece of lint in your left pocket if you like fucking with peoples bellybuttons
November 6, 2009 at 9:39 pm
I really like the way the neck of the sweater is painted. No, really, that’s the only remotely good part of this painting. But the rest is going to give me nightmares about cafes.
Maybe she should paint portraits of Yokoo cowls instead.
November 6, 2009 at 10:09 pm
Hey, I made in A in painting in college and my professor told me I showed skill and “very intriguing perspectives.” Now I know what to do with this as-yet-untapped talent of mine! I’m going to start painting my dreams and selling them on Etsy. The first one will be entitled “I am married to Paul Rudd but then I had to run and my legs wouldn’t work and I was doing naked aerobics in public.”
SERIOUSLY. No one even likes to LISTEN to other people’s dreams, much less buy a graphic…
November 6, 2009 at 10:10 pm
…al representation of it.
November 6, 2009 at 11:17 pm
So you dreamed of this, it freaked you out, and you decided to share it with the world?
Jesus Tapdancing Christ.
November 6, 2009 at 11:18 pm
I think she should have bitten off one of his six fingers.
That would have been cooler.
November 7, 2009 at 12:57 am
Varicose veins of the face and neck?!!! No wonder the poor old witch is bitter about six- pack man’s perfect body- but then again, maybe he’ll learn not to drunk date on hallowe’en…..
p
x
November 7, 2009 at 5:00 am
sometimes I can’t wait for a new post not only because I love them, but so that something utterly disturbing is not on the top of the page. This is one of those times. Fish head squirrel was another.
WTF is wrong with people?
November 7, 2009 at 6:02 am
belly button bitch would have been even nicer, alliteration and all…
November 7, 2009 at 6:05 am
I know those cookies look good, but even if she didn’t have this painting in her store, I think I’d be wary.
“These are a secret recipe chocolate chip cookie made with the same ingredients my grandmother taught me….Please do note that I have a secret ingredient so please do not for any one with food allergies.”
*shudder*
Isn’t it illegal to sell food without disclosing the ingredients?
November 7, 2009 at 6:14 am
I love the “View This Image In A Room” feature, but I really would like to read your comments about it too. Please share your thoughts, Helen.
November 7, 2009 at 6:48 am
@#22 Jea: you know, having to explain my seemingly favorite rotten pun really robs it of it’s rotten pun deliciousness — Helen Keller — Helen Killer — Kill — Slay…
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20081003143603AAuPpHC
Now I have a Cheap Trick song stuck in my head…
November 7, 2009 at 7:36 am
“Isn’t it illegal to sell food without disclosing the ingredients?”
I believe that your kitchen has to be inspected by local authorities before you can sell food at the very least. I wouldn’t buy cookies from her. What the hell is the secret ingredient, blood?
November 7, 2009 at 10:14 am
There’s a whole edible section over there. The idea makes me a little nervous, personally. But those cookies look really good.
November 7, 2009 at 7:43 am
She really needs to work on perspective. This girl looks like she is wedged under the cabinet and her head is bleeding.
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=17768652
November 7, 2009 at 8:07 am
This person is obviously on NRT
nicotine replacement therapy because those are the kind of dreams you have with it.
November 7, 2009 at 9:32 am
Ya know, after a serial killer has done his/her thing, and they’re rooting through the perp’s apartment, this is the kinda thing they find.
November 7, 2009 at 11:36 am
Helen, the cookies were posted on the 10 th of September or something, surely they are not as ‘tasty’ as they were. I find a lot of stuff in the shop slightly disturbing especially this ‘special’ stained wedding book http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=31326709
November 7, 2009 at 11:53 am
@ #57, In all fairness, I’m sure she would make new cookies if someone ordered them. She can’t make a new batch every day just to photograph them.
November 7, 2009 at 2:08 pm
Helen, you are absolutely right. I stand corrected. Still the combo cookies, gross paintings and funeral home books doesn’t appeal to me…
November 7, 2009 at 2:49 pm
“These are a secret recipe chocolate chip cookie made with the same ingredients my grandmother taught me….Please do note that I have a secret ingredient so please do not for any one with food allergies.”
It’s probably Nestle Tollhouse.
November 7, 2009 at 3:34 pm
hm i do think im in agreement the combination of goods is .. not very apetizing.. seperate shops would have been ideal…
and i could have gone my whole day without seeing this … i’ll just cover my eyes and maybe it will go away
November 7, 2009 at 7:18 pm
#53 that old lady has quite a rack.
November 7, 2009 at 7:18 pm
shit, this person has no idea what human hands look like. ……
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=26668831
November 8, 2009 at 3:27 pm
#54 clamchowder :
This person is obviously on NRT
nicotine replacement therapy because those are the kind of dreams you have with it.
Never in my ‘I’m going to stop smoking now because its kind of terrible’ adventure have I been so thrilled to have gone the behavioral therapy route.
I’m going to go kiss my little electronic cigarette box now.
November 8, 2009 at 5:40 pm
Call me crazy, but the Grandma’s pretty hot in this one:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=17768652
November 8, 2009 at 11:00 pm
OMG, a succubus umbilicubus.
November 9, 2009 at 8:12 am
#65: You’re not crazy, definite GILF!
November 9, 2009 at 8:22 am
Last night I had a dream that a hamburger was eating ME!
November 9, 2009 at 7:57 pm
#16 carecaribou :
Brilliant, darling. Cheers to you.
November 9, 2009 at 8:02 pm
#47 moi
Fish-head-squirrel guy really did give me nightmares. Ooh! I should paint it, then everybody could have fish-head-squirrel-creatures chasing them in their dreams too! Sweet.
November 14, 2009 at 3:39 pm
I’d like to purchase this to scare my fiancee’s dad into a coma, since he is that freaked out over belly buttons. How bad is it you may wonder? Remember the jeans ad with the singing belly buttons that sang “I’m Comin’ Out” from the late 90s or early 2000s? He ran screaming from the room. He has to cover his stomach with a pillow when he sleeps and if you even slighty touch the pillow he’ll wake up in a spaz. So yeah, this painting could do damage…
September 9, 2010 at 10:07 pm
That’s better than the dream I had about the penis witch…
April 23, 2011 at 12:23 am
I dreamed of someone painting a terrible rendition of a nightmare they once had and I woke up in a dead swea-.. OH GOD IT’S BECOME REAL
May 14, 2011 at 3:31 am
Looking at this belly button SICK painting, I wonder where you got the “Glazure” from..
(a hint: 5 inches lower.. -Yeah, when it gets dry, you know..)