At least they are using the WHOLE caterpillar. They sound quite useful for a number of products. I might start looking into caterpillar ranching as my next career move.
I’m really glad she specified the feathers were from a bird, because otherwise I would have unfairly credited them to the “giant caterpillars” as well. Apparently they are the Great Plains bison of the modern age. Who knew??
Good god, Helen. I just spit soda all over my computer screen (I guess that’s better than sleeping on the job reading that paragraph.) Most hilarious response to an entry on caterpillar homicide ever!
I’m glad to know someone picks up the unicorn horns. Around here we have to pick them up ourselves and they won’t take them at the curb. It’s such a hassle!
Just call it FELT, for the love of Pete! I KNOW that everyone is felting these days, and there is a temptation to make YOUR felted pieces seem somehow more exciting…. but the viewer can SEE that it is FELT, and 16 paragraphs will not change the perception NOR the reality.
In fact, caterpillar “fur” sounds repulsive, unhygienic and a bit sadistic.
Poor fuzz-less naked giant caterpillars are now freezing their asses off in droves because of this abomination! Now someone needs to make caterpillar coats for the naked confused giant caterpillars roaming the cold countryside.
The seller’s profile lists two aspirations that might be understood, in certain circles, as mutually exclusive: to become a “hard core artist” and to use the proceeds of her felted charms to “buy a house.”
Helen Killer you slay me! And so do the rest of you. I’m glad I read this in the confines of my home office… although I’m sure the people down the road can hear me laughing.
This must be the result of someone buying into etsy’s latest ploy to “write a story” in your descriptions. Holy fuck.
Okay, so, like I was reading….and reading…and reading…and I thought, ‘Wow! you can make this from a red caterpillar?” What tribe is she from???
Then F#$%^&$%#!!! REALITY HIT!!!
2. oh, ah caterpillars are renound for giving you a rash……. ummm thats why they have that kind of fur, to protect themselves……from artisans LIKE YOU!!!!!!!!!!
Hey that’s awesome, because caterpillar “fur” is usually an irritant. They grow it for a reason – it’s not to keep warm, it’s to exude a toxin that prevents them from getting eaten.
I love how this “artisan” goes into detail about felt being caterpillar fur but fails (thankfully) at describing the feather. I think she exhausted herself…
I think her uncle is prob more of a one eyed trouser snake expert as opposed to a bird expert and just seeing feathers brings back the horror, THUS, the end of the description, can’t type if you’re rocking yourself in a corner..
Aha, I’m relieved to think that the photo is not simply showing cheap acrylic felt out of focus, but rather the lively shimmering dance of caterpillar fur soaked in hope potion and possibly also fairy dust. Good grief.
I can’t believe that this Etsy seller passed up the opportunity to list her location as “a fairy hop from the land of dragons” or something like that.
I’m not completely convinced a 5 year old wasn’t asked to describe this thing. I’m so confused about what plane these people live on… potions, magic and fairies… are we missing the fact that it looks like a 5 year old made it too?
“Sometimes I’ll soak them in fairy dust to give them an edge with the hope water.”
Sometimes I like to mix crushed Tramadol with vodka . . . oh, you’re not talking code? You’re a “hardcore” artist? In that case, I’m going to need a refill on this Tramadolka cocktail.
I feel so bad for these caterpillars, subject to wholesale slaughter at the whims of insect connoisseurs and wannabe artists, never able to achieve their life’s goal of blossoming into a butterfly. Won’t someone think of the poor caterpillars?!
Also, FYI, caterpillar hair can be venomous, and even the nonpoisonous hair can cause breathing problems and conjunctivitis. I would prefer my jewelry NOT to cause me health problems, personally.
But then again, in a world where the artist regularly stumbles upon dragon claws and creates her jewelry with fairy dust, I guess caterpillar hair is perfectly healthy.
I’m also beginning to lean towards Caterpillar Hair as the name of my new band. Look for our album, “Sweet Fluff Balls of Love,” coming soon.
Kamikaze-go-in Straight To Hell
November 4, 2009 at 5:04 am
Direct form the seller’s blog:
“Hello this is my first blog attempt to start up my fashion bussiness [sic] called ADD+H”
I believe that explains all, though I’m not sure what the +H indicates about the diagnosis.
76 posts and not one person was even a little weirded out at this seller’s in depth descriptions on how she dismembers and eats caterpillars?!?!!
The dig was def. funny but I found that tldr description more disturbing than dull.
Seriously, Regretsy makes me laugh out loud, but it also reminds me that you need to be careful about presenting your art to the public. I’m sure that if I were to try to sell my first beaded art brooch that it would end up on Regretsy. Sigh.
Argh, I love working with natural materials (wood, bone, stones, leather, feathers, etc) and unfortunately, it seems a lot of the sellers who also like working with natural woodsy things are pretty much the “fairy dust, unicorns, and dragon puke” batshit majority. I’d hate to have people think that I’m like these complete nutcases… lol
Although, apparently it means I can attract a large audience… so, who would like to buy my stone- I mean, genuine unicorn shit nugget bracelets?
What type of razor would be used to shave a caterpillar?
Electric,Venus,Mach3 or what? Next question how do you eat them?Toasted? Roasted ? Grilled? perhaps on a pizza with the fairy dust and my mythical toadstools
“ADD+H where randomness is praised!!! My store is a place for you to find random gifts for anyone. I make all kinds of things, from jewelry to bath bombs to cat toys. So the name really stands up to the truth, its random! Also note that all my cat toys are filled with my home grown catnip which I NEVER PUT PESTICIDES ON!!!”
November 3, 2009 at 10:11 am
it looks like cheap felt to me.
November 3, 2009 at 10:11 am
you lost me at “this”.
November 3, 2009 at 10:13 am
Wait, WTF is “hope potion”? Nevermind, i don’t even want to know. Why did i even ask, clearly this person is batshit.
November 3, 2009 at 10:14 am
Holy fuck! I need a bath in that hope water now, because all of mine is gone!
Oddly though, I feel like slathering a steak in raspberry preserves.
Caterpillar: the mutton of Location X
November 3, 2009 at 10:16 am
If she wants to tell a whimsical story to go along with her product, I suggest she become better at telling stories.
November 3, 2009 at 10:20 am
Yeah, the caterpillar stuff all sounds very reasonable. Wha? I was going to buy it but I’m waiting to hear what your bird watching uncle says.
November 3, 2009 at 10:23 am
I read it all- do I win a prize?
p
x
November 3, 2009 at 10:25 am
At least they are using the WHOLE caterpillar. They sound quite useful for a number of products. I might start looking into caterpillar ranching as my next career move.
November 3, 2009 at 10:29 am
I’d like to hear more about the tales of the giant caterpillar hunter.
The sleeping at the computer photo had me laughing. Very good stuff.
November 3, 2009 at 10:32 am
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=17983012
This one is even worse.
November 3, 2009 at 10:39 am
I started reading, then I was WHAT??
The guy sleeping at his computer was the incing on the cake.
November 3, 2009 at 10:40 am
#10 That’s a very bad novel.
November 3, 2009 at 10:59 am
fasciner
November 3, 2009 at 11:00 am
I’m really glad she specified the feathers were from a bird, because otherwise I would have unfairly credited them to the “giant caterpillars” as well. Apparently they are the Great Plains bison of the modern age. Who knew??
November 3, 2009 at 11:01 am
Oh Lordy, you people had me laughing. Maybe that’s what kept me awake.
November 3, 2009 at 11:04 am
Good god, Helen. I just spit soda all over my computer screen (I guess that’s better than sleeping on the job reading that paragraph.) Most hilarious response to an entry on caterpillar homicide ever!
November 3, 2009 at 11:05 am
After reading the description and seeing the pic in front of the computer, I’m hurting a little bit.
November 3, 2009 at 11:08 am
Wow! She wrote all that for an $8 charm????
I’m glad to know someone picks up the unicorn horns. Around here we have to pick them up ourselves and they won’t take them at the curb. It’s such a hassle!
November 3, 2009 at 11:11 am
This is what happens when “aspiring writers” get their hands on a Michael’s gift card and a hot glue gun.
November 3, 2009 at 11:16 am
“fasciner”??? Are you kidding me? I’m sorry, but don’t you notice the red spell check lines when you are writing a product description?
November 3, 2009 at 11:19 am
The heck with the caterpillar fur thingie, I want to know who the sleeping cutie is?
November 3, 2009 at 11:21 am
I can’t read that.
I can’t even read half of that. It morphs into ‘bleeblahblahblahblah blah blah’ 1/4th of the way through.
I’ll go find some Ritalin and come back and read that and then make a snappy comment.
November 3, 2009 at 11:25 am
@ #10 – Yes, WAAAAAY worse. And it’s blessed, not blest. SPELL CHECK PEOPLE!
November 3, 2009 at 11:32 am
I am really suspecting this one as being created specifically with the hope of getting on Regretsy…
November 3, 2009 at 11:37 am
Nope. Listed in August. Regretsy started October 1.
November 3, 2009 at 11:51 am
Is the guy sleeping at the computer on Etsy too? If so, please include purchasing instructions. He’s hot!
November 3, 2009 at 11:52 am
She eats caterpillars? At least I think I read that. I might have fallen asleep halfway through.
November 3, 2009 at 11:55 am
it was kind of scary, but i clicked on her profile. “I am trying my hardest to become a hard core artist”.
I TOLD YOU I WAS HARD CORE.
November 3, 2009 at 12:02 pm
wait a minute does this mean it will be a cold winter??
November 3, 2009 at 12:17 pm
Just call it FELT, for the love of Pete! I KNOW that everyone is felting these days, and there is a temptation to make YOUR felted pieces seem somehow more exciting…. but the viewer can SEE that it is FELT, and 16 paragraphs will not change the perception NOR the reality.
In fact, caterpillar “fur” sounds repulsive, unhygienic and a bit sadistic.
November 3, 2009 at 12:18 pm
This artisan has completely lost it.
No wonder there’s a shortage of giant butterflies these days.
November 3, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Poor fuzz-less naked giant caterpillars are now freezing their asses off in droves because of this abomination! Now someone needs to make caterpillar coats for the naked confused giant caterpillars roaming the cold countryside.
November 3, 2009 at 12:22 pm
Yes everydaymama…. we must knit “caterpillar cozeys”…. with vaginas on them.
November 3, 2009 at 12:22 pm
fasciner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
November 3, 2009 at 12:23 pm
I think my English degree just shriveled and died.
November 3, 2009 at 12:23 pm
Helen, you are going to get me fired. This is not the job market/economic climate for you to be writing this blog in.
November 3, 2009 at 12:29 pm
Her specialty isn’t in birds.
November 3, 2009 at 12:53 pm
@ #33 Me : LMAO!!! Love it!!
November 3, 2009 at 12:56 pm
What a dumbass…everybody knows that Giant Caterpillars don’t come in those colors.
November 3, 2009 at 12:58 pm
The seller’s profile lists two aspirations that might be understood, in certain circles, as mutually exclusive: to become a “hard core artist” and to use the proceeds of her felted charms to “buy a house.”
November 3, 2009 at 1:14 pm
Sounds like SOMEONE got all snaked up on “hope potion” prior to writing out the item description…..
November 3, 2009 at 1:21 pm
Helen Killer you slay me! And so do the rest of you. I’m glad I read this in the confines of my home office… although I’m sure the people down the road can hear me laughing.
This must be the result of someone buying into etsy’s latest ploy to “write a story” in your descriptions. Holy fuck.
November 3, 2009 at 1:22 pm
They have a name for the act of hunting down unusual animals for the simple reason of making goofy shit.
It’s called Poaching.
12
November 3, 2009 at 1:23 pm
I have no idea what any of you are talking about, this is brilliant!
(srsly, wtf)
November 3, 2009 at 1:28 pm
I don’t think this is what Mrs. Harper had in mind when she taught us “stream of consciousness” writing back in 9th grade.
November 3, 2009 at 1:48 pm
Okay, so, like I was reading….and reading…and reading…and I thought, ‘Wow! you can make this from a red caterpillar?” What tribe is she from???
Then F#$%^&$%#!!! REALITY HIT!!!
November 3, 2009 at 2:16 pm
#35 fancy spatula : I think my English degree just shriveled and died
HA! good one.
November 3, 2009 at 2:19 pm
If you believe that horse crap.. I’ve got a bridge here I could sell you. Only driven over on Sundays by a little old lady when she when to church.
November 3, 2009 at 2:44 pm
sar-sar – yea, home is better – I got some seriously concerned looks in the coffee shop from the people who just saw hot java snort up my sinuses.
And then someone at the next table saw the ‘r’ and asked ‘Hey, what’s up there now?’
You are a superstar, Helen!
November 3, 2009 at 3:12 pm
1.ummmmm “fasciner”? wtf OHHHHHH fastener….
2. oh, ah caterpillars are renound for giving you a rash……. ummm thats why they have that kind of fur, to protect themselves……from artisans LIKE YOU!!!!!!!!!!
November 3, 2009 at 3:42 pm
Hey that’s awesome, because caterpillar “fur” is usually an irritant. They grow it for a reason – it’s not to keep warm, it’s to exude a toxin that prevents them from getting eaten.
Just what I want to wrap around my wrist!
November 3, 2009 at 4:04 pm
I love how this “artisan” goes into detail about felt being caterpillar fur but fails (thankfully) at describing the feather. I think she exhausted herself…
November 3, 2009 at 4:34 pm
I think her uncle is prob more of a one eyed trouser snake expert as opposed to a bird expert and just seeing feathers brings back the horror, THUS, the end of the description, can’t type if you’re rocking yourself in a corner..
November 3, 2009 at 4:35 pm
At least this person is honest about her “caterpillar fur”:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=9882408
November 3, 2009 at 4:36 pm
Maybe she harvested the fur from one of these guys: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=22632749
November 3, 2009 at 5:12 pm
Aha, I’m relieved to think that the photo is not simply showing cheap acrylic felt out of focus, but rather the lively shimmering dance of caterpillar fur soaked in hope potion and possibly also fairy dust. Good grief.
I can’t believe that this Etsy seller passed up the opportunity to list her location as “a fairy hop from the land of dragons” or something like that.
November 3, 2009 at 5:30 pm
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=22632749
grrr and its tagged as art in the first category!!!!!!!!!!!
November 3, 2009 at 5:35 pm
I think this one is the worst. She can’t even sew straight or cut straight and she didn’t even bother with a long, boring story to describe it. http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=22400656
November 3, 2009 at 5:49 pm
I do believe the creator of this was snorting the fairy dust.
November 3, 2009 at 6:21 pm
I’m not completely convinced a 5 year old wasn’t asked to describe this thing. I’m so confused about what plane these people live on… potions, magic and fairies… are we missing the fact that it looks like a 5 year old made it too?
November 3, 2009 at 7:14 pm
helen killer is a bored office worker and a dude!? huh?
November 3, 2009 at 7:16 pm
Neither.
November 3, 2009 at 7:18 pm
@#11 inkandberry: proofreading is a rare art.
am i the only person left that reads what i wrote before submitting comments, so as not to sound like a total dunce?
November 3, 2009 at 8:03 pm
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
November 3, 2009 at 8:33 pm
“Sometimes I’ll soak them in fairy dust to give them an edge with the hope water.”
Sometimes I like to mix crushed Tramadol with vodka . . . oh, you’re not talking code? You’re a “hardcore” artist? In that case, I’m going to need a refill on this Tramadolka cocktail.
November 3, 2009 at 8:45 pm
I think this is pretty. Pity about the description…
November 3, 2009 at 9:06 pm
Not bad but my favorite off-the-wall description is the Sylvia Plath Button Comb Girl.
November 3, 2009 at 10:36 pm
Ok, question?
If she JOINED in nov, 2009, how can she go back a list an item in aug. 2009?
I don’t get it
November 3, 2009 at 10:43 pm
Ok, so I can’t read LOL (answered it myself)
November 3, 2009 at 10:51 pm
I feel so bad for these caterpillars, subject to wholesale slaughter at the whims of insect connoisseurs and wannabe artists, never able to achieve their life’s goal of blossoming into a butterfly. Won’t someone think of the poor caterpillars?!
Also, FYI, caterpillar hair can be venomous, and even the nonpoisonous hair can cause breathing problems and conjunctivitis. I would prefer my jewelry NOT to cause me health problems, personally.
November 3, 2009 at 10:57 pm
But then again, in a world where the artist regularly stumbles upon dragon claws and creates her jewelry with fairy dust, I guess caterpillar hair is perfectly healthy.
I’m also beginning to lean towards Caterpillar Hair as the name of my new band. Look for our album, “Sweet Fluff Balls of Love,” coming soon.
November 3, 2009 at 11:36 pm
I am signing off to go knit a cowl for that cold, nekkid caterpillar.
November 4, 2009 at 1:00 am
does the cute guy ship to australia???????????
and is he free if i get him shipped with another item?
November 4, 2009 at 1:43 am
I wonder if the shop name ADD+H stands for ‘Attention Deficit Disorder + Heroin’, because that would explain a lot.
November 4, 2009 at 5:04 am
Direct form the seller’s blog:
“Hello this is my first blog attempt to start up my fashion bussiness [sic] called ADD+H”
I believe that explains all, though I’m not sure what the +H indicates about the diagnosis.
November 4, 2009 at 9:29 am
#63 yermama:
“am i the only person left WHO reads what i wrote before submitting comments, so as not to sound like a total dunce?”
It’s a pronoun referring to a person. Just sayin’.
November 4, 2009 at 10:02 am
76 posts and not one person was even a little weirded out at this seller’s in depth descriptions on how she dismembers and eats caterpillars?!?!!
The dig was def. funny but I found that tldr description more disturbing than dull.
November 4, 2009 at 10:21 am
OK, that takes care of one Christmas present.
Seriously, Regretsy makes me laugh out loud, but it also reminds me that you need to be careful about presenting your art to the public. I’m sure that if I were to try to sell my first beaded art brooch that it would end up on Regretsy. Sigh.
November 4, 2009 at 10:24 am
this gal is CRAZY. and LOL @ #10 and #30! ha! man, do i love this site, it just cracks me up to no end…
November 4, 2009 at 4:45 pm
I think this girl found Anna Nicole’s stash… (check out her other items) WTF?
November 4, 2009 at 5:43 pm
Holly Weird: I lol’d
Sandra D: Me too…
November 4, 2009 at 9:33 pm
Argh, I love working with natural materials (wood, bone, stones, leather, feathers, etc) and unfortunately, it seems a lot of the sellers who also like working with natural woodsy things are pretty much the “fairy dust, unicorns, and dragon puke” batshit majority. I’d hate to have people think that I’m like these complete nutcases… lol
Although, apparently it means I can attract a large audience… so, who would like to buy my stone- I mean, genuine unicorn shit nugget bracelets?
November 4, 2009 at 11:42 pm
I strongly suspect that fairy dust and hope water produces hallucinogenic molecules.
November 5, 2009 at 12:13 am
#77 Yeah, the caterpillar thing bummed me out. I was hoping she made all of that up.
November 5, 2009 at 9:32 am
What type of razor would be used to shave a caterpillar?
Electric,Venus,Mach3 or what? Next question how do you eat them?Toasted? Roasted ? Grilled? perhaps on a pizza with the fairy dust and my mythical toadstools
November 5, 2009 at 10:44 am
Thanks a lot for that photo, I wet my pants a little. Good thing I was wearing my absorbent caterpillar fur underpants.
November 6, 2009 at 6:21 pm
Awww, caterpillar fur underpants. Google that!
November 8, 2009 at 10:26 am
It says in her bio: ‘I am trying my hardest to become a hard core artist.’
wtf?…trying too hard more like it!
November 9, 2009 at 3:45 am
Helen, I love your photo! I totally imagine this guy hitting his desk of boredom – great visualization!
November 9, 2009 at 7:00 pm
Those poor caterpillars, I bet they said “When I grow up I want to be eaten and have my remains made into a cheap handmade bracelet!”
November 18, 2009 at 8:35 pm
Are these the lyrics for a Bjork B-side?
December 7, 2009 at 4:42 pm
Is it just me, or does the passed out employee look like Jake from collegehumor.com. Anyone? Helen?
May 24, 2010 at 8:13 pm
Caterpillar fur actually contains toxins lol
February 1, 2011 at 7:10 pm
“ADD+H where randomness is praised!!! My store is a place for you to find random gifts for anyone. I make all kinds of things, from jewelry to bath bombs to cat toys. So the name really stands up to the truth, its random! Also note that all my cat toys are filled with my home grown catnip which I NEVER PUT PESTICIDES ON!!!”