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Purple Prose
56 comments
Oh for God’s sake, it’s a dress, not the Shroud of Turin. It doesn’t make music, it isn’t full of magic and it doesn’t sing. I’m also pretty sure that Goddesses don’t wear clothes made out of old sweaters, unless there’s there’s a Goddess Thriftstoria I don’t know about.
Oct 28, 20099:12 am
That’s so ugly it’s actually kind of awesome.
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+1
Oct 28, 20099:14 am
“Lady, drop the thrift store finds and back away from the serger and nobody gets hurt.”
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Oct 28, 20099:16 am
Seriously I would…just wouldn’t pay $210 for it. Whether or not it’s worth it…
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Oct 28, 20099:37 am
Says she was inspired by this seller’s magical sweater upcycling coat thingy:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=31855770
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Oct 28, 20099:41 am
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Oct 28, 20099:45 am
It looks like something suitable only for village idiots or court jesters 
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Oct 28, 20099:48 am
By the way Helen that was a caption win!
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Oct 28, 20099:55 am
I actually really like this one. Not sure if I’d have the guts to wear it, though. And I wouldn’t pay $210 for it. But I really like it.
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Oct 28, 20099:57 am
I think it’s kind of cool, certainly in concept if not quite in execution.
The whole song thing is a bit New Age Goddess Ick, but appears to be part of her shop “motif” or whatever.
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Oct 28, 200910:01 am
Okay, maybe etsy is getting to me, but I also think this is kind of cool, although I’m not quite getting the thing coming off the head. And I also wouldn’t pay $210 for it unless as NinjaGato said it did that other stuff too.
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Oct 28, 200910:04 am
“Bust: 35 inches (more if stretched)”
Mmmm, stretched…..
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Oct 28, 200910:11 am
but wait, isn’t the “come hither” look in this one more of a winner?
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=32646477
because really, if I was homeless and on crack in magical fairy world, I would be totally all about these sweaters… maybe there’s something in the water down there in Australia…
That is, after all, where the etsy seller who makes fairy dolls and hates regretsy with an undying fashion is based.
Oh, crack serendipity.
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Oct 28, 200910:16 am
I love that one of the tags is “burning man.” Because, you know, *sweaters* are the perfect thing to wear in the desert.
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Oct 28, 200910:16 am
Sar-Sar I saw that one too. It must be the reverse flushing of the toilets in Australia that causes a rip in the fabric of good taste.
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Oct 28, 200910:16 am
I’ll bet it sells though.
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Oct 28, 200910:22 am
Perfect for scoping out fai(e)ries after I set up my yarn fluff fai(e)r(y)ie nest!
But hey, at least it looks like she puts more effort into this than Meth Prairie LOVE “Vintage” Juicy Sweats Girl does.
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Oct 28, 200910:28 am
#13, sar sar…that’s my nanowrimo novel story line.
Homeless cracked addited fairy in fairy land. It’s a rough rough magical world.
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Oct 28, 200910:34 am
That’s quite a lot of dough to spend to look like a crazy bag lady. That that kind of scratch, I would expect to get a sweater dress made out of cats.
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Oct 28, 200911:10 am
Oh, but Helen, there IS a Goddess Thriftstoria! She presides over the place from whence magical items come, and where all great (and sometimes horrendously misguided and hideous) dreams are made….
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Oct 28, 200911:53 am
I have two words to describe the hood/headdress part: Bib Fortuna.
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Oct 28, 200912:04 pm
If it was $50 I’d totally buy it
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Oct 28, 200912:23 pm
I appreciate the work that went into this and it appears to be well made and probably worth the price. The textures are really interesting, too.
But, really, is it necessary to add a tentacle to EVERYTHING listed on Etsy?
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Oct 28, 200912:23 pm
i cracked the code. goddess stands for witch. i bet you are all cursed now for laughing about it
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Oct 28, 200912:35 pm
I kinda like her brand of nutty.
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Oct 28, 20091:01 pm
Haute Hobbit Wear coming to a Mall near you. Silly is good, purple is bad.
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Oct 28, 20091:06 pm
I totally love this! The colors are maybe a bit much, but the style is fabulous. And this is perfect for Burning Man, it gets crazy cold at night in the desert.
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Oct 28, 20091:23 pm
I don’t know if it’s that no one here knows what a burner is or what outdoor music festivals are like, but that’s actually a very trendy sweater of a type I’ve seen many, many times. It’s “burner wear” right down to the turned out seams, which is why it mentions dance and music in the description and mentions burning man in the tags (it gets very cold in the predawn hours in the desert due to the lack of cloud cover to hold in heat). This is for wearing to raves, not on the street.
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Oct 28, 20091:24 pm
#23 YippySkippy: LMAO!!! A tentacle on everything… Love that!
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Oct 28, 20091:25 pm
I thought this site was for making fun of badly made things, not simply unconventional tastes in otherwise carefully made things. This sweater doesn’t really look like it was made with someone’s feet. Perhaps you should make a “rules of regret” like the “rules of cuteness” at Cute Overload.
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Oct 28, 20091:26 pm
I totally need to make one for me! Less tentacle-y though.
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Oct 28, 20091:29 pm
P.S. There *is* a Goddess Thriftstoria. I pay homage to her everytime I come back from Goodwill with yet another giant bag of great stuff.
Rate this comment: +3
Oct 28, 20091:31 pm
@#5-whyohwhy
I wish I was TRACEY, I really wanted to buy that.. thing.. you linked to
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Oct 28, 20092:55 pm
I have to agree with #30 – I really don’t think this belongs here. I understand that grown adults who want to be fairies or elves or whatever are a little weird, but that doesn’t mean this woman’s products are crappy. This isn’t my taste, but it looks well-made, and has a nice use of color. I guess i just don’t think this object is “laughable” in the way that most other items here are.
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Oct 28, 20093:01 pm
I totally love the dress part. The Channard cenobite headpiece part I could do without.
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Oct 28, 20093:01 pm
Not my style, but it’s creative and appears well made. I agree that some lines need not be crossed to save the planet, but sweaters are game for upcycling…abundant, sturdy, and versatile.
I don’t get the beef with that.
Also, sometimes while you make things, they take on a personality. One might feel compelled to be a bit silly and convey that in a listing or tag, which is part of the fun. I think this is only regrettable if its disingenuous or overselling an item of obvious simplicity.
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Oct 28, 20093:03 pm
Ummm, #30 and #34… Taste is subjective. I think it is pretty laughable. It might very well be “well made” (or it could fall apart at the seams the first time you wear or wash it, who knows? sooo not the point of the posting) but it is a freaking purple “goddess” dress with a horn/tentacle hoodie that the maker has made out that it has musical talent as well. Helen K. never said it was ugly she said it couldn’t sing.
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Oct 28, 20093:39 pm
If my clothes ever sang, I would probably think there was some sort of insect hiding in them and I would quite probably freak out.
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Oct 28, 20095:02 pm
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Oct 28, 20095:46 pm
The skirt part of the dress is kind of cute, in a crazy bag lady sort of way…but the top is too much for me. Especially the weird appendage on the head.
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Oct 28, 20098:18 pm
Certainly kind of ridiculous, but hey…I’d wear it to the Renaissance Festival, no prob!
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Oct 28, 200911:17 pm
#39 Duly noted ;D
First check for bugs, then check for Bambi
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Oct 29, 200912:05 am
I quite like it. But what does it sing? I’m partial to dramatic oratorio, though I suppose some Joy Division or Smiths would do. But if it’s Phantom of the Opera, no deal.
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Oct 29, 20094:27 am
Certain clothes need to remain within the fence line of Renaissance Festivals.
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Oct 29, 20096:39 am
I’d wear it with my turtle paw brooch….and back off the tentacle yippyskippy, at least there’s not a crocheted vagina attached to the damn thing
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Oct 29, 20097:51 am
i would like it if the thing wasn’t coming off the hood. seriously, what is up with that?
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Oct 29, 20098:13 am
Ummmm, apparently this sweater dress music thing has mystical powers!! It transformed the older lady in to a young one.
I clicked on the link to go to etsy so I could look at all the other pics, and voila, a young lady was wearing this sweater!!!
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Oct 29, 20098:18 am
The price is lower now…. any takers?
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Oct 29, 20099:21 am
I actually really like this. But I don’t have $155. Or a Burning Man festival to go to.
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Oct 29, 20094:40 pm
@Mayor of Bethville
That’s exactly what I thought when I first looked at this!!! Forget goddesses and music. She looks like she’d fit right into Jabba the Hutt’s posse of rogue muppets.
(For those who may have forgotten Return of the Jedi, Bib Fortuna is right next to Jabba in this photo: http://www.starwars.com/episode-i/fun/snapshot/1999/06/snapshot038.jpg)
Is anybody selling a poorly crocheted replica of Princess Leia’s bikini yet? 
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Oct 29, 20096:22 pm
Give me your tears gypsy!!
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Oct 31, 200911:36 am
I’m shocked by the lack of Jar Jar Binks references.
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Nov 2, 200912:39 pm
wow… it’s $155 now and has a different model. I actually like it, but not for that much and definitely not if it is going to sing at me. O_o
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Nov 2, 20093:43 pm
#53- i just clicked and saw the new model…remember don’t purchase this, b/c even if your name is victoria, she ain’t selling it to us- LOL
see below…
*****HI, THIS DRESS IS RESERVED FOR VICTORIA! IF THAT ISN’T YOU, EVEN IF YOUR NAME IS VICTORIA, PLEASE DON’T PURCHASE IT!! WHILE YOU’RE HERE, YOU MIGHT LIKE TO HAVE A PEEK AT MY OTHER GOODIES 
THANKS X *****
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Nov 9, 20098:54 pm
Sorry to those who really like it but dress SCREAMS Keychain Tampon Cozy.
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Dec 4, 20099:52 am
is that a new kind of birth control???
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9:06 am
Amazing…when you click on it the model gets younger…maybe it is imbedded with goddess magic!
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+3