people of walmartlamebookregretsy

Arrowhood – NSFW

Posted by Helen Killer 68 comments

When I get hot and sweaty, I like to grab a bottle of room temperature water with a knit sweater on it. And if it’s got a big, hairy, woolen vagina on it, so much the better! Talk about refreshment!

Filed in Vaginas 68 comments
68 Comments
Oct 28, 2009
3:05 pm
#1 msannomalley :
This must be a vintage vagina.

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Oct 28, 2009
3:13 pm
#2 nutcase :

LOL helen, that does not really look like it’s NSFW, does it.

WTF is this? http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=29056192

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Oct 28, 2009
3:13 pm
#3 reqbat :
…what, exactly, is the point of this? is sticking vaginas on anything the new black?

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Oct 28, 2009
3:13 pm
#4 Efit :
WTF is it with “crafty” folks and vaginas? I DON’T GET IT.

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Oct 28, 2009
3:16 pm

Do you think they knit vaginas and boobies with or without a pattern?

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Oct 28, 2009
3:21 pm
#6 freshie :
My husband saw this over my shoulder and asked “what vagina looks like that?” followed by “who would want to have sex with a vagina that looked like that?” Very good questions indeed.

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Oct 28, 2009
3:25 pm
#7 AnonymousBastard :

This is abuse of a crochet hook!

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Oct 28, 2009
3:28 pm
#8 knitngurl :
From looking at other items in the shop, I really don’t think this person has actually seen either a vagina or a penis. Don’t know how that’s possible, but you never know.

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Oct 28, 2009
3:36 pm
#9 addiosix :
Sweet mother of God, this is creepy. I would not ever want to touch that ever.

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Oct 28, 2009
3:42 pm
#10 Frankenkitty :

That huggie’s no virgin!

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Oct 28, 2009
3:43 pm
#11 chicaflamenca :
Oh. Sweet. Mother. Of. All. Things. Yarn. That is disgusting. I mean, honestly. There are some seriously obsessed people with crafting supplies up in here. ZOINKS.

Rate this comment: Thumb up Thumb down +6

Oct 28, 2009
3:44 pm
#12 everydaymama :

Someone get that vagina a razor! And BTW, is this an elephant? http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=29056525 LMAO!!

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Oct 28, 2009
4:17 pm
#13 dangersjones :
I think that the dislocated testicles are just as frightening.

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Oct 28, 2009
4:38 pm
#14 tarabu :

I am kind of embarassed to be a crochet chica right now.

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Oct 28, 2009
4:42 pm
#15 regretsyfan :

#12 everydaymama-

My husband and I had just decided it was an elephant when we read your comment- totally agree!

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Oct 28, 2009
4:46 pm
#16 NinjaGato :
I’m kind of embarrassed to have a vagina

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Oct 28, 2009
4:59 pm
#17 bloopoo :

OMG people actually BUY these things!!

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Oct 28, 2009
5:07 pm
#18 Fae :

I wonder if I’m the only person who thinks the little reminder at the top of the posting that says “Filed in vaginas” is hilarious.

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Oct 28, 2009
5:31 pm
#19 Lexiii :

So is the whore vagina all floppy and shit?

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Oct 28, 2009
5:39 pm

ugh .. now who would drink from that bottle after it had some muppet pussy on it? ew

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Oct 28, 2009
5:40 pm
#21 Holly Weird :

It’ll go great with my polymer clay vulva necklace and uterus pillow!

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Oct 28, 2009
6:06 pm
#22 YippySkippy :
Damn, she’s talented! I’ve never seen anyone crochet with REAL pubic hair before.

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Oct 28, 2009
6:09 pm
#23 NinjaGato :
I find it more absurd that she makes and sells “willie warmers” Seriously? If your dick is cold you need to be wearing pants.

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Oct 28, 2009
6:18 pm
#24 sar-sar :
I’m beginning to think that people who knit are bat-shit insane, and I graduated from art school… maybe that’s why we didn’t have a fiber dept.

Does there have to be a badly executed vagina on everything?
Like “wow, I was thirsty, but I only wanna grab this water bottle if I can simulate touching some pussy?”

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Oct 28, 2009
6:22 pm
#25 regretmenot :

You know someone will buy that jar just so they can say…hey go get some change out of my crotch.

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Oct 28, 2009
6:22 pm
#26 crapgawker :

Thanks for this Helen! Her Etsy shop is a veritable cornucopia of gifts! Something for everyone on my holiday list from my Pastor, kid’s teachers and playground aides to my mother-in-law and husband’s boss. I mean EVERYONE uses water bottles nowadays. This is a no-brainer. A few clicks of the mouse – a Paypal payment and my Christmas shopping is done!

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Oct 28, 2009
6:34 pm
#27 NinjaGato :

#24 This is crochet

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Oct 28, 2009
6:58 pm
#28 Cold Salt :

What’s up the abundance of cosy/huggie things on Etsy?

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Oct 28, 2009
7:37 pm
#29 Die Ana :

Wow. A cootchie koozie!

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Oct 28, 2009
7:42 pm
#30 Thousandaire :
No thanks. If I’m going to be picking pubic hair out of my teeth, it better be because I just got laid.

Rate this comment: Thumb up Thumb down +6

Oct 28, 2009
8:03 pm
#31 Dear Tuffy :

This is the grossest thing I ever saw and considering the other items in this person’s shop I wonder if they have some kind of arrested development.

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Oct 28, 2009
8:07 pm
#32 Lexiii :
Not all knitters/crocheters are insane. I have never crafted a vag out of yarn in my life.

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Oct 28, 2009
8:20 pm
#33 GrayPyre :
I love how everything on here that’s labeled ‘Mature’ is anything but.

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Oct 28, 2009
9:02 pm
#34 Lara :

@ #25, apparently you and she are on the same wavelength:

“The holidays are coming up fast, so get your orders in now. The closer it gets to Christmas, the busier I get making up pillows and hats. Don’t miss out on that unique gift for someone special!”

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Oct 28, 2009
9:58 pm
#35 tempesty :
When it’s Filed in Vaginas, you know it’s going to be good.

(And by “good” I of course mean crazy, weird, and awful.)

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Oct 28, 2009
10:26 pm
#36 gazoo :

Does Vagina bear come with a Vagina Cozy? ‘Cause that would be awesome! Think of the cross marketing possibities!

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Oct 28, 2009
11:08 pm
#37 Stiflers Mom :

So help me god it even has a clit…

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Oct 28, 2009
11:11 pm
#38 whyohwhy :

The thing looks more like a sea anenome than a vagina.

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Oct 28, 2009
11:41 pm
#39 addiosix :

This is seriously killing me. Its like the antithesis of all things good and holy — an abomination in the guise of a waterbottle cozy.

I have a decently high tolerance towards some pretty nastyass stuff, but honestly, if I ever saw one of these IRL I would probably have a panic attack.

I know for damn sure if someone came at me with one I would run away screaming.

Rate this comment: Thumb up Thumb down +3

Oct 28, 2009
11:43 pm
#40 addiosix :

oh, and what #16 said too…

That too.

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Oct 29, 2009
12:03 am
#41 quantuminsanity :

I’ve never seen a vagina with hair ALL around the whole thing in a ring like that…

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Oct 29, 2009
12:17 am
#42 thembone :
How is it a virgin? Because it’s sewn shut??

Rate this comment: Thumb up Thumb down +5

Oct 29, 2009
3:48 am
#43 heidrun :

that shop is a gem. i can imagine her crocheting all the time, giggling insanely…but obviously, there’s quite many people out there who actually think it is funny,too.
i love those: http://www.etsy.com/view_transaction.php?transaction_id=12477007
but all the sold items have probably been stowed away in some box by the embarrassed recipients of these unique gifts…

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Oct 29, 2009
4:20 am
#44 StinkBait :

I’d hit it.

Rate this comment: Thumb up Thumb down +1

Oct 29, 2009
4:59 am
#45 YankBoffin :
Turn it upside down, stick a couple googly eyes on there, and you have an interesting muppet.

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Oct 29, 2009
6:31 am
#46 vangoghbabe :

I would like to custom order a penis straw cozy,,,

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Oct 29, 2009
6:47 am
#47 Jea :

I had a dream I was eating vagina flavored andies candies. I wonder if I can sell them on etsy.

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Oct 29, 2009
6:50 am
#48 pauldodo :
Why just fit it to a bottle, tho? Maybe slip it onto your leg the next time you visit someone with a randy dog? Or your arm as somewhere to put your ipod when you’re at the gym?

I need a lie down, now….
p
x

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Oct 29, 2009
6:51 am
#49 CC :

People seem to be jumping on the vagina bandwagon!

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Oct 29, 2009
7:38 am
#50 goblin :
Why only Virgin Bottle Huggies? Why no “Rode Hard and Put Away Wet Bottle Huggies”? Once again, women’s sexuality is demonized!

Rate this comment: Thumb up Thumb down +7

Oct 29, 2009
8:01 am
#51 regretsyfan :

Was highly amused at the “Willie warmers”, especially, the ones for football teams, and agree with #23 that you should be wearing pants if you willie needs warming. Though even if you wore a willie warmer, shouldn’t it be made out of something softer than worsted weight yarn? Maybe a baby yarn or such? I can only imagine how worsted weight could itch in a spot like that….

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Oct 29, 2009
8:15 am
#52 worldfamousfudgy :

Everything about this is unappealing.

On PRINCIPLE, I believe all bottle huggies and can cozies (sp?) should be made of neoprene and velcro and have catchy slogans like “God, Guns and Glory” or “You’re ugly and yer mama dresses you funny.”

Sorry, but Wal-Mart and the neighborhood truckstop are the places to go for this type of item. The Vagina/Goddess/Crochet people will never “own” the bottle/can huggie market.

Rate this comment: Thumb up Thumb down +3

Oct 29, 2009
9:23 am
#53 kurlygurl722 :

I actually thought about getting this http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=24174072 as a gag gift for one of my husband’s friends… but what is going on with the lopsided-ness of the boobs?? If you’re going to make a boob pillow… atleast have them pointing in the same direction..

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Oct 29, 2009
9:57 am
#54 smemilyanne :
Has she never actually seen testicles to realize that generally, they SHARE a scrotum?
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=29056525

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Oct 29, 2009
10:04 am
#55 vangoghbabe :

Why ex-nymphos should never learn to crochet

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Oct 29, 2009
10:10 am
#56 vangoghbabe :
Cozy a bottle of…
lemonade= sour puss
bottle of tang= poontang
come on everybody!!! join in!!

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Oct 29, 2009
10:12 am
#57 vangoghbabe :

okay, I retract my statement early…why NYMPHOS should never learn to crochet

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Oct 29, 2009
10:12 am

@#54, I’m pretty sure the artist has never seen male genitalia before. That might also explain the unusual fixation with naughty bits.

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Oct 29, 2009
10:12 am
#59 vangoghbabe :

oops earlier statement…hell, I quit

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Oct 29, 2009
10:54 am
#60 turtlegirl76 :
How appropriate that they used crab stitch to finish off the vagina cozy.

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Oct 29, 2009
4:35 pm
#61 TheAngstyOne :

Ok.. a couple people mentioned Muppets… so it’s got to be said.

Is this Miss Piggy’s?

Alright, maybe it doesn’t NEED to be said, but damnit some of you thought it.

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Oct 30, 2009
9:31 am
#62 PlainJane :

ahhh this shop has made me laugh so much so I can see why people have bought the stuff, I think the seller has a sense of humor too ! Those boobie slippers are made me totally lol :D

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Nov 1, 2009
10:46 pm
#63 EMPM :

You know, you can never have enough vagina encrusted water bottles. Oh wait, yes you can.

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Nov 3, 2009
12:27 pm
#64 silky_byron :

I think this would only *truly* work if the water bottle in question were unopened.

And if the hymen weren’t all ridgy and convex. It’s not Miss Piggy’s–it’s from a female Klingon.

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Nov 4, 2009
12:17 pm
#65 SelenaEon :

I just adore the boob blanket from this seller. To whit: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vt_related_3&listing_id=27618557 I shouted with laughter when I saw it. Oh yes.

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Nov 6, 2009
6:51 pm
#66 bonspiel :
I’m just going to go snatch that one up.

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Nov 23, 2009
4:18 pm
#67 Maggie :

yuck

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Jan 7, 2010
4:32 pm
#68 CrazyLady008 :

Can it still be considered a virgin if it’s had bottles shoved inside it?

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