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Rico Suave

Posted by Helen Killer

36 comments

Wow. It’s like you’re looking at a postcard.

Filed in Art 36 comments

36 Comments

Add Comment

Oct 23, 2009
8:58 am

#1 blablover5 :

That was just drug in from the fishing lines right? And then a couple of cats rolled in it to get at the dead fish smell.

And for good measure they finished by running it through a shredder?

Well that’s totally worth $650, sign me up.

Rate this comment: +2

Oct 23, 2009
9:04 am

#2 Moons in Leo :

It wasn’t macrame until the cats got to it.

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 23, 2009
9:14 am

#3 hopper65 :

Damn. Only 1 in stock. I wanted 2 so I could hang one on either side of the black velvet Elvis behind my couch. What a bummer! Now I’ll have to think of something else to blow $1300 on! Jeez.

Rate this comment: -1

Oct 23, 2009
9:16 am

#4 Me :

You know, this is one of those really puzzling listings. Obviously this person spent hours and hours toiling away at what they thought was beautiful…

Rate this comment: +2

Oct 23, 2009
9:27 am

#5 yermama :

I must have this for Halloween! Sure to scare the bejeezus out of many trick-or-treaters!

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 23, 2009
9:28 am

#6 The Mayor of Bethville :

You know when you go into your grandmother’s attic after it’s been ten years since her knees were able to get her up the stairs? THIS is what you see hanging on the wall up there. And it’s covered with asbestos and fly shit. And you say, “What the hell is this, Grandma?” And she says, “Oh, some old crap.” So you stuff it in a garbage bag because it smells like something died and you haul it out to the curb with the rest of the trash. The End.

Rate this comment: +5

Oct 23, 2009
9:36 am

#7 Frankenkitty :

note to self: cancel macrame class.

Rate this comment: +1

Oct 23, 2009
9:38 am

#8 crazycatlady :

No wonder my grandparents emigrated to the Bronx!

I just want to know what drugs this lady is on so I can tell my doctor to never prescribe them to me. But I am going to need to take something to get this tragedy out of my head.

Rate this comment: +2

Oct 23, 2009
9:38 am

#9 YankBoffin :

I call it “Attempted Hammock 1″.

Rate this comment: +3

Oct 23, 2009
9:40 am

#10 monicahamburg :

You’re right, Helen Killer: It’s uncanny…

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 23, 2009
9:47 am

#11 Jea :

This woman has got to be f’ing insane. I lean towards ‘benefit of the doubt’ most of the time….but this is wads of string on a stick.

Rate this comment: +1

Oct 23, 2009
9:47 am

#12 kiru :

“Ode to ‘The Old Man and the Sea’”

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 23, 2009
10:05 am

#13 everydaymama :

What the hell??? I am blown away by not only the lack of talent here, but by the insane price for string on a stick! The spiders outside make better art!

Rate this comment: +2

Oct 23, 2009
10:09 am

#14 Laurinha :

Wow, I’m so puzzled by this listing. I visited her store and she has a bunch of other ones like this. So weird! I had to look really close and concentrate to even understand what’s in the picture, because her pictures are just so bad, washed out, to begin with, never mind what she is selling.
Im sure she spent hours doing these things, and the price is so outrageous. I don’t get it!

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 23, 2009
10:10 am

#15 everydaymama :

This is what she says in her profile:

As a kid, I used to macrame belts and purses. But more recently, I have been creating landscapes that are a synopsis of my memories of a trip or adventure, like a canoe trip on a river in Maine.

Her “memories” must be VERY fuzzy!! LOL!!

Rate this comment: +1

Oct 23, 2009
10:13 am

#16 forreal :

note to self
Cancel trip to Puerto Rico

Rate this comment: +7

Oct 23, 2009
10:39 am

#17 hammerhead77 :

#15 everydaymama-

I also like this little tease from her profile:

“I sometimes add fabric as well so it becomes more of a typical picture, but I am not showing those right now.”

(Oooooooo. I’m sure there will be an exclusive invitation-only advanced showing of these at a top gallery in NYC!)

Rate this comment: +2

Oct 23, 2009
10:51 am

#18 itsnotschultz :

So, let me get this straight…a giant retarded spider drank food coloring and as a result had diarrhea and you’re selling it on etsy for $650? Good luck.

Rate this comment: +2

Oct 23, 2009
10:56 am

#19 CrazyMamaANJ :

Because of this, I will no longer waste time trying to untangle another knotted mess in my yarn stash, not when I can hang it from a stick and call it art. I had no idea my two year old’s warpath could be so profitable.

Rate this comment: +3

Oct 23, 2009
11:02 am

#20 AnnetteCurtain :

1. Get an old string vest,
2. Wear the shit out of it.
3. Have a shit on it.
4. Let your dog sleep on it for 15 years.
5. Get rich.

Rate this comment: +2

Oct 23, 2009
11:40 am

#21 thisiscrap :

You have GOT to be absolutely, completely, and totally friggin’ kidding me.

Rate this comment: -1

Oct 23, 2009
11:46 am

#22 kahlua71 :

What gets me is that she has other items that actually do look like what they are called…like “Tree” and “Two Elephants” and those are cheap…like 20 bucks. But the ones like this one, are spendy and look like a jumbled mess.

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 23, 2009
12:02 pm

#23 Moons in Leo :

Okay, I went to look at more of her offerings. It seems the worse something is, the more she charges. Very interesting marketing approach. Some of the cheaper items aren’t bad. Of course when something is called “…abstract” you know you’re in trouble.

Rate this comment: +1

Oct 23, 2009
12:06 pm

#24 Jea :

Watch it sell in the next week :\

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 23, 2009
12:31 pm

#25 vangoghbabe :

I see a bridge in fog

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 23, 2009
12:32 pm

#26 vangoghbabe :

with green birds…yeah, green birds

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 23, 2009
12:51 pm

#27 sylvan_shadows :

#26: I see your green birds and raise you a couple of palm trees.

Rate this comment: +1

Oct 23, 2009
6:25 pm

#28 everydaymama :

#27, I see barf!

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 23, 2009
11:02 pm

#29 effin.fantastic :

Looks like something my yarn stash threw up. Eep!

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 23, 2009
11:55 pm

#30 quantuminsanity :

it looks like she tried unsuccessfully to do macramé in her stomach and vomited it up…

Rate this comment: +2

Oct 24, 2009
12:53 am

#31 addiosix :

#25 – #28

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anglerfish

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 24, 2009
5:44 am

#32 sar-sar :

Helen Killer — you slay me. Note to self, keep windex & kleenex by obscenely large imac screen.
The postcard was wickedly hilarious.
As for the $650.00 macrame piece? Holy shit. I guess this is what gives macrame a bad name… which is sad because my mother literally just started teaching a macrame class at her store… of course, she hadn’t made any macrame since the seventies, so the night before she started teaching the class, she had to bust out the macrame supplies…
oh macrame.

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 25, 2009
9:52 am

#33 rodgertheshrubber :

Can you imagine getting this in the mail and trying to hang it? A real test of domestic cooperation.

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 26, 2009
3:19 am

#34 benconservato :

Not sure my Paypal account has enough in it to buy this masterpiece… oh! Maybe we could do a swap?!

Rate this comment: -1

Oct 26, 2009
9:56 am

#35 emily :

$650????? That is taking the piss. It looks like a 5 year old’s first attempt at crafts, and then they ate too many sweets and were sick all over it.

Rate this comment: +1

Nov 29, 2009
1:03 am

#36 portable wig :

If this one sells due to the power of Regretsy then Helen is the mad god of all that is prime Etsy shite!

Rate this comment: +1