2/6/10 TOTAL: $31.09
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Bush League
50 comments
Nice to see Demi Moore getting into crafting.
Oct 23, 200912:17 pm
Here is the entire description
Working the Merkin! Fluff the Muff!
These hair panties have brown faux fur that will not shed. These panties were originally designed for my New Orleans based dance troupe called the Bearded Oysters. We do several Mardi Gras parades and our shtick is wearing beards, dancing, flirting, drinking, giggling, and most fun of all lifting our skirts and flashing our “oysters”.
These are great for being silly or doing a drag show, they’re actually surprisingly versatile.
Bizarre History of the Merkin:
Although the merkin may seem like a “fresh” idea to you, it actually has a centuries old history through many continents.
By its name, “merkin” the pubic wig is said to have been worn as far back as 1620. Originally, prostitutes as well as other women with pubic lice used the merkin to cover the pubic area after shaving. The merkin was also popular after being treated for “French Pox” or syphilis which was back then treated with mercury which caused the pubic hair to fall out. The word merkin is believed to be a derivative of the word “malkin” which could mean a mop and was also used as a demeaning word to describe low class women. The Japanese are also famous for their merkins which are often used to add pubic hair to those lacking it for one reason or another. Through history, merkins have been made of many different materials or animals. The skin and hair of an animal was cut in a triangular shape and applied to the shaved pubic area with glue. Clearly, the merkin has evolved with the times and is now sometimes worn by striptease dancers in combination with perhaps a set of pasties. Still a great way to trick your pubic audience into thinking they saw the real thing. However, today’s merkin audience is hopefully only about to contract some laughter.”
I will laugh heartily, if someone pays money for a merkin-ed $2 panty. Seriously, was the merkin history supposed to make me want to buy these?
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Oct 23, 200912:18 pm
Twelve bucks? Most of us invest money in having that removed. And for those who don’t, are double decker pubes really a desirable option?
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Oct 23, 200912:26 pm
Well.
At least it won’t shed. Thank god for that.
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Oct 23, 200912:26 pm
OHHHHH!!!! VAGINA TOUPEE
I have to refer back to the Fish in a Squirrel Suit Taxidermy…
Enough said
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Oct 23, 200912:27 pm
These hair panties have brown faux fur that will not shed. These panties were originally designed for my New Orleans based dance troupe called the Bearded Oysters. We do several Mardi Gras parades and our shtick is wearing beards, dancing, flirting, drinking, giggling, and most fun of all lifting our skirts and flashing our “oysters”.
Just another reason to avoid NOLA.
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Oct 23, 200912:27 pm
Goldenkat…way cool history lesson.
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Oct 23, 200912:31 pm
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=29570326
In case you want to check out the entire Bearded Oyster ensemble on sale for just two Benjamins.
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Oct 23, 200912:53 pm
vangoghbabe: That wasn’t me, that was the listing! She gave a whole history of the merkin!
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Oct 23, 20091:01 pm
Thank you Regretsy for making my day! THIS is what the internet is about by golly!
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Oct 23, 20091:16 pm
Unless you need it for drag purposes, in which case…. awkward.
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Oct 23, 20091:24 pm
What is a Merkin?
Gather ’round kiddies, you’re going to get some learning you won’t find in a book. I have been asked time and again, ‘what is a merkin?’ The response I’ve heard from many people to that question is “A merkin? Why that’s someone who was born in the United States!”. Hahaha. No. Wrong. Go back to Hamburger University and get your degree. In the simplest language I know, I will proceed to enlighten you on this subject that many great school books have so negligently failed to include within their hallowed pages.
Ahhhhh. The merkin. Rolls off the tongue now, doesn’t it. The merkin. Where to begin? How about the beginning, of course!
The merkin had its reign in the Victorian times. The Victorian era, though romanticized by silly modern women as a time of great loveliness and decorum, was in reality a time of over-whelming filth and degradation. Many a home was without the most basic of hygienic supplies—no soap, no shampoo, and certainly no deodorant. Bathing was considered a monthly ritual as the Victorians believed water was the bearer of disease and pestilence. Perfume, in all it’s cheap and tawdry forms was used to mask the overwhelming odors, but then everyone just smelled like slutty street corner hookers.
The one thing these monthly baths, and liberal perfuming did not discourage was the ever-present lice and vermin found flourishing in some of the finest ladies’ pubic regions.
Now, these ladies could live with housework and drudgery from morn to eve. And they could live with the roaches and rats scampering in and around the homestead. But they could not, I repeat, could not, and would not live with a family of lice creating time-shares in their most private of lady parts! So, off went the curls! But alas, the dear ladies would feel a bit of a draft.
To nip this dire consequence in the bud (excuse the pun) a little hair wig was fashioned in all the latest colors and styles. This little wig became know as the humble ‘merkin’ .
Yes, the merkin. Finally, we get to the merkin. I can just imagine a clothes line full of the little periwigs blowing in the breeze on a gentle spring day. Doubtless, this is the romantic image many of those silly modern women hold as well, but that’s another story!
How did these ladies attach the merkin? Alas, I do not know, and I fear my imagination is far too delicate to consider the possibilities. I might hazard that the more petite ladies fashioned a garter of sorts out of bits of lace and ribbon, and the more portly matrons found need for a yoke and harness. Let us just say, attach it they did, and leave it at that. It is not so much the attachments we’re interested in, but the device itself.
OK, you’ve given us the history of the merkin, you have given us the definition of the merkin, but how do I, a simple internet surfer use this astounding new knowledge in everyday context? Relax Grasshopper, this new word dovetails quite nicely into ordinary conversation.
For example, if someone is getting a bit snippy with you, perhaps a tad defensive you might want to instruct that individual to ‘don’t get your merkin all tied in knots!”. Your boss reward a co-worker with a promotion? Good sports will kindly doff their merkin, and proclaim “My merkin goes off to you, my good man!” You may also find cause to celebrate one of life’s little holidays with “Long live the MERKIN!” For those more patriotic events, you may want to solemnly proclaim ‘I’m proud to be a merkin” Whatever the context, remember to say it loud, and say it often. Let us honor those brave women who desired a bit of fluff on the muff, and showed their pioneer ingenuity and spirit by introducing this wonderful cosmetic innovation.
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Oct 23, 20091:26 pm
It’s not even in the right spot…
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Oct 23, 20091:30 pm
I don’t get the Demi Moore reference.
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Oct 23, 20091:36 pm
Google image search: “Demi Moore Bush”.
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Oct 23, 20091:41 pm
aaaand it sold.
Please tell me it was bought for a tasteless Halloween costume. A tasteless Halloween costume for someone who lives far, far away from my current location.
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Oct 23, 20092:07 pm
Oh Christ Helen!
All the money in the world and she can’t afford a freakin Lady Bic? Poor Ashton.
Wait, nevermind. I just remembered that my twat is just as bushy.
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Oct 23, 20092:17 pm
Something is seriously wrong here.. the fact that I need to google *Demi Moore Bush* is part of it! Geez hubs is out working hard all day and here I sit looking at merkins.
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Oct 23, 20092:17 pm
Re: Demi Moore Bush…where the hell is the vagina?
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Oct 23, 20092:20 pm
Maybe Demi was the inspiration for Vagina Bear. I wonder if she’s available to have a vagina sewn on that bush.
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Oct 23, 20092:38 pm
Nice to see Etsy keeping it classy, as always. With quality merchandise such as this for sale, need you look anywhere else for any of your needs?
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Oct 23, 20092:52 pm
holy sheet its been SOLD!!!
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Oct 23, 20093:14 pm
oh my!
i will bookmark this for my 2nd regretsy top 10 friday!
and it’s sold…incredible!
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Oct 23, 20093:22 pm
Since when do they make mannequins with a camel toe? The ones in the other photos are much bushier. I guess this is her summer pair.
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Oct 23, 20093:44 pm
ICK…just ick is all I can say.
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Oct 23, 20093:49 pm
P.S. Thank You gazoo for the merkin story, that was great.
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Oct 23, 20093:52 pm
Cool, it’s got a built-in camel-toe!
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Oct 23, 20094:13 pm
Yes, this one has sold, but if you look at the shop, there are plenty more available!
Act now! Bearded oysters are standing by!
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Oct 23, 20094:17 pm
Correct me if I’m wrong, but is the phrase not “Bearded Clam” not “Bearded Oyster?”
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Oct 23, 20094:38 pm
Runaway Lawyer: Double decker pubes ha ha ha ha
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Oct 23, 20094:40 pm
gazoo I also think Merkins were used to cover scars from syphillis and small pox pustules, and other vd. Lovely right?
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Oct 23, 20094:52 pm
Why not make it crafty cute with eyes and a mouth?
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Oct 23, 20095:22 pm
Does the maker of this truly unique garment not understand where pubic hair is, exactly?
I can see a tie-in between this and the pizza slice a few posts back.
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Oct 23, 20095:54 pm
#11 LOL.
Actually, I do have some undies with a hole in them right about there. Now I’m stylin’.
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Oct 23, 20096:23 pm
I swear someone is buying all these “odd” items for a museum of horrid crafts! Wouldn’t that be an awesome thing! ;P
On the topic of the fuzzy undies… Perhaps someone gets a cold crotch and needs extra insulation? LOL!!!
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Oct 23, 20097:10 pm
i was going to say something but gazoo bored me to tears and now i forgot. it looks like somebody has a whole lot of time on their hands since getting a degree in english literature.
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Oct 23, 20099:31 pm
We must go about “werkin’ the merkin” in granny panties?
But picture these puppies with the vampire pad!
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Oct 23, 200910:13 pm
As part of that whole burlesque costume, it makes sense. It’s supposed to be funny, not real. On its own, it’s plain weird. Context is everything.
(Disclaimer. I also own a fake beard, and would totally wear that costume for a Mardi Gras or burlesque.)
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Oct 23, 200911:57 pm
that is insane. the whole point of merkins is that it looks like the person has pubic hair when they don’t. something that looks like underwear with fur stuck on it completely defeats the purpos!
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Oct 24, 200912:13 am
Whomever bought this should also buy this: http://www.regretsy.com/2009/10/21/domino-effect/ and pin it directly over the furry part.
You know, for that dash of extra classy underpants pizazz (pizzazz?)
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Oct 24, 20095:36 am
I admit, I’m having a hard time making fun of this, it’s just so Dada-esque… seriously, it is. It’s not really arty enough to be Dada (maybe if they’d asked $2000.00, I’d feel it was arty-er)
Damn you Marcel Duchamp!
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Oct 24, 200910:49 am
I was hoping upon hope when I saw the little post go by on facebook that either the panties or the faux fur was vintage!
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Oct 24, 20091:17 pm
Hey yermama I don’t have a degree in English Lit. Actually, I don’t have a degree at all. I found that article a few years ago when I first discovered merkins. And it’s hella funny so get your head out of your merkin and laugh a little. Oh take the big fat stick out of your ass too.
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Oct 24, 20095:42 pm
I’d consider a pair of these for the holidays if the seller would throw in a pair of googly eyes and a red pompom nose.
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Oct 25, 200912:15 am
This would be perfect worn under a sheer white dress, like Divine’s wedding outfit from Female Trouble: http://bit.ly/2F4vGN.
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Oct 26, 20091:38 am
Everyone should join the handmade movement and buy only handmade clothing and nothing else. Never mind having to walk around in panties with pussy hair glued to the outside because you are supporting artists, ok?
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Oct 26, 20093:15 am
I am so unhappy that they sold, as I was thinking of buying them to wear under something white, and clingy. So disappointed. Ho hum.
(And yes, G.W. Bush used to say “Merkin”, so suck it up, all Australians know that joke).
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Oct 26, 20093:16 am
Ahh, I didn’t see Prof. Scammington’s comment. Poo.
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Oct 26, 20097:24 pm
these undies remind me of that creepy scene in ‘the shining’ when that chick exits the bath tub…
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Nov 16, 200912:34 pm
Well, at least I now know what the he** they are and what they “were” used for. Learn something new everyday!
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12:17 pm
Wait…what?? Seriously??? I’m all for fun and kitchy but these are just UBER-WRONG! No thank you.
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