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Sheer Madness

I had tights like this once. I got drunk and fell down an escalator.

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50 comments on Sheer Madness

  1. blablover5
    October 20, 2009 at 1:39 pm

    They cost $85 dollars because the wolverine rental place for that authentic mauled by a woodland creature doesn’t come cheap.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  2. Karma
    October 20, 2009 at 1:41 pm

    For that authentic used-up meth addict look….

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  3. reqbat
    October 20, 2009 at 1:43 pm

    EIGHTY FIVE DOLLARS? jesus i’m sitting on a nylon goldmine and didn’t know it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  4. The Mayor of Bethville
    October 20, 2009 at 1:43 pm

    $3 back pantyhose + $20 Turtle in the Garden ring = $23 for embellished tights

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  5. Karma
    October 20, 2009 at 1:43 pm

    bulimic model not included.

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  6. Je
    October 20, 2009 at 1:49 pm

    #4-Haha! Ingenious!

    You mean that I can save the beer money and the humility just buy the tights? Sold.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  7. AnnetteCurtain
    October 20, 2009 at 1:52 pm

    How the hell would you put those on? It’s bad enough getting your foot in tights with no holes.
    I hope there’s an embellished rip at the clam, just so I could show off my clot soaked vampire face.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  8. Helen Killer
    October 20, 2009 at 1:55 pm

    Okay, I’m starting to crush on Annette.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  9. Fae
    October 20, 2009 at 1:57 pm

    AnnetteCurtain I was just thinking the same thing. Minus the clot soakage. lol.

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  10. HostessVo
    October 20, 2009 at 1:58 pm

    What I find fascinating is that it doesn’t appear that she did anything to the back of the tights. From behind you just appear slightly foolish with the short skirt, when viewed from the front all doubt is removed and you look completely foolish.

    You know after the first time a pair of nylons, stockings or tights are worn they feel used. I can only imagine what a wonderful feeling putting these nylons would be knowing that at least one other person already wore them. $85 for used nylons? And it’s not exactly like they appear to be anything but flimsy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  11. jenny
    October 20, 2009 at 2:03 pm

    And these made the “daily best” too!

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  12. NinjaGato
    October 20, 2009 at 2:03 pm

    Annette you are one sick puppy…I like it, I like it a lot!

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  13. NinjaGato
    October 20, 2009 at 2:04 pm

    These ripped tights will go great with my Amy Winehouse gutterwhore ensemble.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  14. Karma
    October 20, 2009 at 2:06 pm

    #12–lol!

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  15. ataraxia
    October 20, 2009 at 2:10 pm

    I cant see any reason to charge $85 for ripped up, used tights. Even with the embellishments – Looks like that button comb tore through the nylon and left its buttons behind.

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  16. radicalxstitch
    October 20, 2009 at 2:20 pm

    seriously, how would you even get these on?

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  17. Moons in Leo
    October 20, 2009 at 2:31 pm

    “Coco, hurry up and take the picture, man. I can’t stand up … jeez, what the hell is wrong with you? Find the goddamned button, dude.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  18. forreal
    October 20, 2009 at 2:37 pm

    awwww this will really glam up the hookers by the bar

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  19. Monstrosa
    October 20, 2009 at 2:38 pm

    Go Annette!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  20. MinnePurl
    October 20, 2009 at 3:26 pm

    “handwash or dry clean only”

    Because you wouldn’t want to damage your $85 ruined tights with the gluegunned rhinestones on them in your machine. Just imagine the look on your drycleaner’s face when you told him to be extra careful with these babies.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  21. Charles Dexter Ward
    October 20, 2009 at 3:37 pm

    I get that these might be fashionable in some circles. But they seem to me like 1-time wear tights, if they make it all night. Too delicate. Therefore I can see someone paying $5 or $15 for them…sure, it’d work for that one special party with people who’d think they’re awesome (I guess, if you’re not me). But $85? Damn.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  22. Cold Salt
    October 20, 2009 at 3:46 pm

    What skill do I lack that I can’t think of such easy and crappy things to sell on Etsy, where feeling seems to count more than actual quality?

    Somebody start an Etsy Success Correspondence Course!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  23. NinjaGato
    October 20, 2009 at 3:51 pm

    I am really fighting the urge to message this seller and ask what the fuck she thinks shes doing selling used tights for $85.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  24. Cold Salt
    October 20, 2009 at 3:52 pm

    She’s expressing herself, of course. WHO ARE YOU to question her?

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  25. sbarnes2
    October 20, 2009 at 4:36 pm

    What a waste of crystals!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  26. tomdelaypedal
    October 20, 2009 at 4:52 pm

    I know why these are $85. They have been paired with $1500 awesome (not on her, though) Ann Demeulemeester shoes. The $3 ripped tights covered in sparkly shit gained value by proximity. Wearing them, however, will cheapen you beyond comprehension.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  27. whyohwhy
    October 20, 2009 at 5:09 pm

    Pretentious hipster “upcycling” bs.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  28. YippySkippy
    October 20, 2009 at 5:56 pm

    What to wear to the hipster ho-down . . .

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  29. steviesegel
    October 20, 2009 at 6:54 pm

    oh for chrissakes!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  30. pottery123
    October 20, 2009 at 7:27 pm

    AND they come with the model’s cooties. What a bargain!!! Cause no way they could be washed before sending them on to you.

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  31. Prof. Scammington
    October 20, 2009 at 7:44 pm

    #26 has it right. The ripped tights are complete rubbish, but those shoes are awesome. If sexy vampire menstrual pad guy was a real person, he’d be nailing the model wearing these shoes.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  32. thembone
    October 20, 2009 at 9:20 pm

    While I’ll admit that I kind of like them a little bit… for $85, I’ll rip and bedazzle my own dollar store tights, thanks. They’ve got to be hell to get on.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  33. quantuminsanity
    October 20, 2009 at 10:30 pm

    is it just me or does the girl in that picture have freakishly long legs?

    Thumb up Thumb down -2

  34. worldfamousfudgy
    October 20, 2009 at 10:37 pm

    My first thought, like others here was “how would you even put these ON?” Next, I am thinking that to overpay for something you could easily make yourself–especially when it’s pretty clear you will likely only get one use out of the garment is crazy!

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  35. sar-sar
    October 20, 2009 at 10:50 pm

    On one hand, I would love to meet the sucker who would buy these. On the other hand, I went to art school. I’ve already met scores of suckers — I mean people. You know, “I can barely afford the mac’n'cheese and liquor — but I gots to get me these! Anybody got loose change? Help a sister out!”

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  36. everydaymama
    October 20, 2009 at 10:55 pm

    Now I have seen it all! A night out getting plastered and ripping up your nylons gets you $85.00 and qualifies you as a “designer”… Quick, everyone put on yer nylons and run around tanked ’till you fall down, then list your pre-worn nylons on Etsy!!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  37. juliamark
    October 20, 2009 at 11:29 pm

    What i couldn’t believe was that they were posted on the etsy finds email.

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  38. Leftsider
    October 21, 2009 at 12:09 am

    Do they also have a knitted vagina at the crotch? ‘Cos I’m not buying them unless they have a knitted vagina on. Hmph.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  39. Eclipsante
    October 21, 2009 at 2:32 am

    God forbid if the “designer” had been using the recyclable toilet paper and/or maxi pads. Oh I just threw up a little.

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

  40. Eclipsante
    October 21, 2009 at 2:41 am

    Wait wait wait! She shows you how to MAKE these yourself on her blog. Yes, I looked at her blog…and lost a few brain cells. http://bit.ly/3PToCx

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  41. SRM
    October 21, 2009 at 3:47 am

    Can someone please buy these so the poor girl can afford a ham sandwich.

    Thumb up Thumb down -2

  42. rinthered
    October 21, 2009 at 10:03 am

    Sigh. I used to wear tights like these. But I never thought of gluing crap on them. You can wear them more than once, but you have to be able to stand on one leg to get them off… CAREfully.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  43. pauldodo
    October 21, 2009 at 10:59 am

    I prefer the more environmentally friendly version where you eat a hot pizza with lots of stringy cheese and small toppings, but without a plate. No hot glue, or sewing needed, but with the possibility of a visit to casualty.Prollem is, getting the damned things off your scarred and blistered legs…. well, maybe it wasn’t such a good idea….

    p
    x

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

  44. Eveline
    October 21, 2009 at 11:24 am

    She was in the Korean Vogue Girl??

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  45. tabbycat2482
    October 21, 2009 at 11:28 am

    i think I’ll get drunk and go look for an escalator to fall down so i can get me a pair of these for free.

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  46. bonspiel
    October 21, 2009 at 8:22 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -5

  47. StinkBait
    October 22, 2009 at 5:23 am

    What the fuck is “high fashion” about these tights? High on crak perhaps.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  48. razberries
    October 26, 2009 at 7:39 pm

    ok, as a female, i can tell you this- wearing nylons all day your feet can get sweaty…so, basically her ‘vinegar nubs’ have already christened these stockings for you…yuck no thank you. and 85 bucks? they are not high fashion…this might be a kate moss crack model look, but not a real-life look! and kate moss is actually too good of a compliment for these ratty things

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  49. jamie
    November 5, 2009 at 6:03 pm

    i have to say they look great, except you’d only be able to wear them once most likely. taking them off would wreck them, and so would putting them on. of course i do mean “wreck” in a figurative sense.

    Thumb up Thumb down -2

  50. mad2physicist
    September 1, 2010 at 6:55 am

    I think these look hot. However, I think you could achieve the same look with a pair of stockings and a slightly demented wolverine.

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