Kentucky Frilled Chicken

Posted by Helen Killer 52 comments

“Some folks say that on a cold night, when the moon is a-howlin’, you can still see her at the old farmhouse table, knitting shrugs for the chickens.”

Filed in Pet Humiliation 52 comments
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Oct 20, 2009
1:39 pm
#1 Monstrosa :
Wait, does the chicken come with it? Cause I’d hate to take her sweater.

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Oct 20, 2009
1:42 pm
#2 Karma :

This isn’t a joke…

it’s just a really bad idea and waste of yarn I’d like somebody to pay $15 for.

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Oct 20, 2009
1:46 pm
#3 Monstrosa :

Genius! And she makes her own yarn.

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Oct 20, 2009
1:47 pm
#4 The Mayor of Bethville :

She isn’t standing like that because it looks fancy. You’re actually weighing her down and probably hurting her.

Where is the Chicken Liberation Front when you need them?

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Oct 20, 2009
1:49 pm
#5 amndad :

didn’t i see those feet as a fancy brooch a few posts back?

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Oct 20, 2009
1:50 pm
#6 iatro :

and people think it’s cruel to dress up cats.

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Oct 20, 2009
1:50 pm
#7 AnnetteCurtain :

I’ll put it with my condom/plastic mac and my sock/sleeping bag.

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Oct 20, 2009
1:50 pm
#8 Je :

#4 The CLF is burning down the building with said chicken still inside.

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Oct 20, 2009
2:17 pm
#9 NinjaGato :

Where is PETA when they would be useful?

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Oct 20, 2009
2:20 pm
#10 radicalxstitch :

quick someone ring Etsy for Animals!

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Oct 20, 2009
2:34 pm
#11 monicahamburg :

I like the “orKnitted Wrist Cuff” part. Oh, good – because I really wanted to buy this gem of craftsmanship but I didn’t have a chicklet to torment!

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Oct 20, 2009
2:49 pm
#12 winediva :
good thing she showed it on a chicken. I bet it would look really stupid on your wrist.

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Oct 20, 2009
3:12 pm
#13 sistermarysunshine :

Poor little bird is thinking: And the KFC chickens think they go it rough…

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Oct 20, 2009
3:24 pm
#14 tempesty :
“She’s beautiful, even more so than her nine sisters. I’m making ponchos and shrugs for them too.”

I imagine them cowering in the corner and clucking with fear as she does so.

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Oct 20, 2009
3:32 pm
#15 Me :

So… Autumn Magical Fairy Nest is also a chick poncho AND a wrist cuff?

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Oct 20, 2009
3:39 pm
#16 Cold Salt :
She’s so beautiful – even more so than her nine sisters. I’m making ponchos and shrugs for them too.

This is not a sentence that bodes well for sanity, whether you know “she” refers to a chicken or not.

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Oct 20, 2009
4:22 pm
#17 Redshirt Knitting :

Oh – oh no – I think I might be partly responsible for this.

http://redshirtknitting.com/?p=269

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Oct 20, 2009
4:27 pm
#18 Chinese Takeout :
She keeps repeating how “This isn’t a joke” and “I’m not crazy”.
Too late.

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Oct 20, 2009
4:57 pm
#19 hello_robin :
If you have to start off with “This is not a joke.” You might want to rethink the entire idea.

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Oct 20, 2009
5:02 pm
#20 tarabu :

so, it’s a cruel joke for the chick that mama made this and is going to sell it to a human? also, chickens are incontinent.

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Oct 20, 2009
5:37 pm
#21 Crossed Promise :
This chicken is more beautiful (as chickens go) so she gets to be tormented first. Priority line up, thank you for going along with societal ideals of beauty being better and giving 9 chickens body image issues. It’s nice when things follow a pattern.

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Oct 20, 2009
5:40 pm
#22 MinnePurl :
great. now, in addition to cage free, I have to make sure my chicken and eggs are poncho free

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Oct 20, 2009
5:45 pm
#23 The Runaway Lawyer :
Chicken straitjackets. For when the chicken prozac just isn’t cutting it.

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Oct 20, 2009
5:56 pm
#24 hammerhead77 :

“Anyway, if you have a Bantam Chick and need something for the holidays or if you know someone who raises Bantam Hens this is the perfect gift.”

(Don’t know about you guys, but I guess my Christmas shopping is totally done for this year!)

“…this poncho is only for very special occasions – and only with proper supervision. Never leave a chick unsupervised with any clothing or toys. Mostly I think the poncho is best for when the two of you are cuddling”

(Is the cuddling also supervised? Or are we going to need to call Chick Protective Services?)

“I’m not crazy, just a jeweler who dabbles in fiber & raises Bantam Chicks.”

(Spot the contradiction in this sentence!)

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Oct 20, 2009
6:12 pm
#25 whyohwhy :

Now I know where I can find my chick a coat.

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Oct 20, 2009
7:35 pm
#26 pottery123 :

IS that chicken on her dining room table? Do you have any idea how much a chicken shits?

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Oct 20, 2009
7:39 pm
#27 AlmostAD :

What a waste of yarn. Bacon works *so* much better!

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Oct 20, 2009
9:01 pm
#28 greenfuzz :
This is one of my favorite things on here ever. It’s so sublimely retarded and sweet and ridiculous. The fact that this person is imagining a market of other chicken owners who want little sweaters is totally preposterous.

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Oct 20, 2009
10:31 pm
#29 quantuminsanity :

That chicken looks rather bewildered.
It’s cute though. (the chicken, not the ‘poncho’)

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Oct 20, 2009
10:39 pm
#30 worldfamousfudgy :

..and I thought that *I* had too much free time….

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Oct 20, 2009
10:57 pm
#31 sar-sar :

The great thing is that this listing now has 4086 views!
Rock on Regretsy!

from the listing: “Never leave a chick unsupervised with any clothing or toys. Mostly I think the poncho is best for when the two of you are cuddling, you want to take some sweet pictures, or for a few seconds when company arrives & you want to show her off.”

So, basically, the seller admits that wrapping a chick in yarn in INHUMANE!

And, yeah, as one of those crazy commie nature loving environmentalists’ children — I’ve spent my fair share of time tending to lost baby birds — they shit like every 10 minutes. I really wouldn’t have a bird just sitting on my kitchen table… let alone one that I had adorned with a knitted bondage outfit.
Holy Moly.

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Oct 20, 2009
10:58 pm
#32 everydaymama :

This is just what every chicken farmer needs! Good grief!

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Oct 20, 2009
11:18 pm
#33 Cold Salt :
for a few seconds when company arrives & you want to show her off.

Welcome, friends! This is lil Dayna. Isn’t she beautiful? Moreso than her nine sisters, for whom I am also knitting useless chicken garments.

Wait, where are you going? You haven’t had a chance to cuddle with her yet!

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Oct 21, 2009
5:24 am
#34 YankBoffin :

Colored yarn restrains.

Poncho keeps her warm and cute.

Struts angrily and hates you.

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Oct 21, 2009
7:33 am
#35 HomeAlone :

Wow, I thought it was just people with tiny toy dogs who liked to dress ‘em up. There’s a whole world of chicken kooks out there I didn’t know about.

In fact, if she could get together with the poodle bridal outfit lady, they could take some REALLY cute pictures.

Actually I kinda like her jewelry. I think the chick outfits is a bit of a distracting element in the shop, though. I wonder if the jewelry I order comes with some parasitic attachments?

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Oct 21, 2009
7:35 am
#36 goblin :

Hmm. The chick is named Bantam Chick Lil Dayna. The fiber comes from Dayna the Crafty Scientist. Hmm.

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Oct 21, 2009
10:38 am
#37 bllsunrise :
Uh…hello ya’ll!!! The poncho is so she doesn’t catch “bird flu!”

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Oct 21, 2009
11:11 am
#38 Cara Loryn :

Squeeeee.. I grew up on a chicken farm bringing chickens in the house. I think this is kinda cute. When you hold a chick your hands get hot and sweaty, and it makes the chicky sticky…So I can see this being a reasonable short-term thing. If you want to hold them, it’s much easier than a blanket.

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Oct 21, 2009
11:21 am
#39 Monstrosa :

“#36 goblin :
Hmm. The chick is named Bantam Chick Lil Dayna. The fiber comes from Dayna the Crafty Scientist. Hmm.”

Yeah, I saw that episode of X-Files, too. What the hell is happening on that farm?

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Oct 21, 2009
7:56 pm
#40 plurabelle :

“She’s so beautiful – even more so than her nine sisters.”

Okay, way to traumatize your 9 other chicks, lady.

Seriously, what is the standard for chicken beauty? Coloring? Head structure? Breading? Clue me in, I don’t raise Bantam Sweatercuff Stands.

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Oct 21, 2009
8:27 pm
#41 bonspiel :

#28 greenfuzz :

This is one of my favorite things on here ever. It’s so sublimely retarded and sweet and ridiculous. The fact that this person is imagining a market of other chicken owners who want little sweaters is totally preposterous.
Beautifully said! I hope li’l Dayna has fifteen bucks, since the sweater was made especially for her.

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Oct 21, 2009
8:42 pm
#42 AgoutiAvenger :
So. . . how many weeks’ old bantam chick is your wrist size?

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Oct 22, 2009
5:30 am
#43 StinkBait :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

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Oct 22, 2009
10:41 am
#44 vangoghbabe :

you do realize that you can also use this to keep the fried chicken warm, I think a leg or wing would fit nicely….the leftover fibers may stick in the teeth..but I’m sure there’s some really “sweet” handmade toothpicks listed on etsy…oh, hey! the bling bling turtle foot would work!

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Oct 22, 2009
4:08 pm
#45 CoffeeLove :

Poor little thing. I feel so sorry for it :(
Some people have too much free time.

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Oct 23, 2009
7:47 pm
#46 hammerhead77 :

I went to show this to a friend, and it has sold!

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Oct 24, 2009
1:08 pm
#47 magenashley :

i think its kinda cute…

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Oct 28, 2009
6:02 pm
#48 The Blue Kraken :

dude is this lady stupid or has she NEVER raised a chicken. that bird will out grow that thing in 5 days.. IT IS NOT A PUPPY

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Oct 28, 2009
6:11 pm
#49 The Blue Kraken :

ALSO #4 there has it right.. this kniting lady is a bint and obviously cant tell when her avian is in distress. the birds struggling to stand up and too young and small for this kind of insane crap.

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Nov 5, 2009
1:47 pm
#50 Minime :

I am SOOOOOO getting this for my friend who raises chickens!!!

That’s one Christmas present down.

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Nov 11, 2009
10:29 pm
#51 VoteAudrey :

Does anyone know the proper way to cite the text referring of her item description? I’d like to use the “more beautiful than her nine sisters,” part in my next novel. Yep.

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Nov 25, 2009
5:01 pm
#52 HelenaHandbasket :

Why am I afraid that poor Little Dayna is NEVER allowed to have the garment removed; thus stunting her growth so she will never, ever get big and leave and not cuddle again?

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