I’m actually pretty happy for this seller. The paintings are technically pretty good. Weird, but pretty good…unlike the “painting” of the semen stain covered in Chanel gold eyeshadow.
Now see
you’re just encouraging this monstrosity.
They were doing just fine without your encouragement.
Way to spur the econemy Helen.
Once we’re out of this mess we’ll all look back at Regretsy and say…”That cured our society of its ills.”
NinjaGato, I agree. These paintings are done well (technique wise). They’re a little…strange…but very well painted. The guy obviously knows how to handle paint, but some of the pieces (especially the one on regretsy) still make me laugh.
@#11 marzipanapple:
seriously, are you smoking the crack right now? Or right now as when you typed that?
Fuck, his paintings are horrendous (subject matter or technique). If Dali saw any of these “homages” (and believe me, said the person who holds an art degree) he would wish his eyes would drip out of his sockets…
What delights me is the suspicious feeling I have that the cupcakes over on the etsy forums are snatching this type of shit up like as if to prove some point about being relentlessly positive and blindly optimistic (in the face of reality)… because we’re all mean pricks (although, somehow it’s supposedly not hypocritical for them to call other people names when they’re defending what should not be defended) and then I think about how great this stuff will look tucked away in shame in a box in someone’s attic… or stuffed inside a pizza box and left out by the curb… and then I think about the people who go junking, and what they would think if they found this stuff in their trash to treasure hunts (and, yes, my crazy mother has a sister who is a “junker”)…
Now how do we know the buyers are real buyers… I’m suspicious that there is THAT big of an audience for this subject matter, though who knows, maybe a rich vampire bought them.
Soon we’re going to see items specifically made for the “regretsy market” — although presumably “Mittens” already blazed that trail. Oh, what special horrors await!
“What delights me is the suspicious feeling I have that the cupcakes over on the etsy forums are snatching this type of shit up like as if to prove some point about being relentlessly positive and blindly optimistic (in the face of reality)… because we’re all mean pricks (although, somehow it’s supposedly not hypocritical for them to call other people names when they’re defending what should not be defended)”
technically, these paintings suck ass. they don’t even remotely approach “pretty good”. The seriousness with which they are approached makes them completely disturbing AND hilarious.
Really…who would buy these? They’re probably going to be hanging up in some bondage and S&M dungeon somewhere. Yep, I can see the painter and the buyers up at the “Pearly Gates” wondering why they can’t get in……
First, I have been teaching art, studying art and traveling to see REAL art for years…
Artist:a person who uses imagination and skill to communicate ideas in visual form.
So, TECHNICALLY he is an artist, TECHNIQUE he sucks.
Take an anatomy class for F@#$s sake!
I love that regretsy is now a tag.
It’s refreshing, like the ugly girl at a bar who know’s she’s hideous and is fine with leaving with the last drunk at the closing time.
After reading this and knowing that guy sold more the even 2 of those hideous paintings. I think I might start making vagina being violated by demons jewelry (yes I sell jewelry on Etsy) and tagging it with Regretsy!
Did anyone follow the link and read the entire article? He MASTURBATED while painting these! And these are things he actually did with an old girlfriend! Talk about giving me the jibblies!
OoooohhhMG those paintings are so METAL, like denim-jacket-with-spikes-and-torn-cuffs metal, you can hear the Maiden blasting in the background if you stare at them close enough. I can totally believe he sold those, I know plenty of hipster kids who would kill to have something that atrocious in their living room.
Can we stop with the “technically good” shit, they are technically awful. atrocious. No it’s not like a third grader did them, but that doesn’t excuse crappy composition, perspective, color, rendering.
Also note that sellers can change the price point down to .20 and then “buy” the paintings themselves under another name or have their friends buy the paintings so they don’t get slammed with high fees. You can’t tell from the sold listing what the final price was. I too find it highly suspicious that the seller went from 2 sales in 7 months to 14 sales with only 1 additional day on regretsy.
Oh there is stuff here me and my friends want to buy. I personally want the chicken poncho. If I was not unemployed I would be supporting some of these folks.
Ok.. i read the blog about the sales. Am I the only one who thinks it looks like the “sugar mama” of valevortex may have purchased all the paintings? That blog was HILARIOUS– as in I cannot believe it is real.
@ 25 (jenny)
you think this is mean? you have no clue what gallerists or even children’s books publishers would spit right into your face, even if you came up with acceptable stuff (i.e. definitely crap like these paintings).
so glad i sent it in and some poor soul has that to wake up to each and every day. can. not. believe. it. sold. now i have to live with that! HA! go go regresty go.
Wow, what a load of crap. No, these paintings are not “pretty good.” Aside from some interesting use of color they are exactly the type of thing I would expect from a sexually-frustrated 14-year-old boy with a personality disorder. Their only value I can see (aside from wank-material for said disturbed teen) is possibly as art-therapy… in other words it’s certainly preferable for Valevortex to be creating crappy amateur porn than molesting the neighbor kids or torturing animals.
No, what really disturbs me is Grigio’s vindictive and possibly libelous posting of the personal information of the woman who Grigio snidely refers to as Valevortex’s “sugar mama.” In fact Grigio has devoted several blog entries to slandering her. How is it any of Grigio’s business? More, why does she even care? It almost makes me think the whole story is a front to give Grigio an excuse to badmouth someone she has a personal grudge against. In any case, her posts about Maria D. (including Maria’s age, work websites, and other personal data) strike me as being unbelievably inappropriate.
Oh, one other thing… the issue Grigio supposedly has with Maria is that she “stole” Valevortex away from his ex-girlfriend. Why is Grigio blaming her and not Valevortex? If he’s a cheater who picked up with someone new for money, sex, fame, good connections, or any other reason, that’s HIS fault. It’s asinine to lay all (or even most) of the blame on the “other woman.” Whether or not Maria knew he was already in a relationship, 90% of the blame belongs to HIM.
So while I question Grigio’s taste in art, I question her judgment (and motives) even more.
I was bored enough to read about half of that mess on the blog. It’s one part soap opera and one part pretentious babble which is attempting to help us understand the tortured mind of the artist. (I didn’t care enough about either to finish reading it!)
You know who probably bought all those paintings? The art directors for that CBS show Criminal Minds. They needed some set props for a serial killer’s lair in an upcoming episode!
The thing I can’t get over is that he’s in his 30s but he paints like he’s in his teens.
Incidentally, I suspect the blogger (Grigio) is actually the ex-girlfriend (Valevortex’s “Che”) that the paintings are supposedly about. I’m guessing that her motivation is to inflate the paintings’ value with her long-winded puffery in an attempt to make them appear to have some significance other than that of bad amateur porn. Otherwise why would she have so much venom against the new girlfriend? Soap opera is right.
Yeah, that sounds about right. It makes the “artist” sound like a pathetic dishrag who is alternately motivated by greed and led around by his dick, and the “che” person comes off as this amazing sensual woman who has an almost hypnotic hold over the artist. As you noted above, I love the way they paint the sugar mama as a horrible evil Mrs. Robinson seductress. The artist just *had* to have an affair with her. He had no choice! It’s all her fault! Perhaps his next series of paintings should be called “Involuntary Infidelity”
Re-read my post: I did indeed comment on his paintings. It’s just that I found your personal agenda and your taste & judgment in posting her personal information even more unpleasant and disturbing – if that is possible – than his “artwork.”
No, I’m not a friend of Maria. I’d never heard of any of you before reading the melodrama in your blog. So you might want to re-think your tone and kinds of stuff you’re posting – I got all my perception of the situation from that.
I would think that the postings about Maria on the blog, along with subsequent links involving her phone number, email address, and places of business would be considered libel and she could probably (and should in my opinion) sue you because of it.
October 20, 2009 at 10:06 am
well, it’s true, then. All publicity is good publicity.
October 20, 2009 at 10:09 am
proof no [good] deed goes unpunished.
October 20, 2009 at 10:10 am
I would LOVE to see the rooms that these paintings are going into.
October 20, 2009 at 10:10 am
I think I AM going to blame Jesus for this one. No accounting for taste. Bathroom perhaps?
October 20, 2009 at 10:12 am
@#3 I would too.
I’m actually pretty happy for this seller. The paintings are technically pretty good. Weird, but pretty good…unlike the “painting” of the semen stain covered in Chanel gold eyeshadow.
October 20, 2009 at 10:15 am
Wait a tic…12 additional pieces sold??? The etsy page only lists 2.
October 20, 2009 at 10:16 am
Now see
you’re just encouraging this monstrosity.
They were doing just fine without your encouragement.
Way to spur the econemy Helen.
Once we’re out of this mess we’ll all look back at Regretsy and say…”That cured our society of its ills.”
October 20, 2009 at 10:19 am
NinjaGato: only 2 feedbacks, but yeah, 15 sales.
October 20, 2009 at 10:22 am
The story I linked to says 13 out of 14 pieces sold. Makes you wonder what the 14th one was.
October 20, 2009 at 10:30 am
Oh, the 14th piece was a lamb cuddling with a duck. It was fucking awful.
October 20, 2009 at 10:48 am
NinjaGato, I agree. These paintings are done well (technique wise). They’re a little…strange…but very well painted. The guy obviously knows how to handle paint, but some of the pieces (especially the one on regretsy) still make me laugh.
October 20, 2009 at 10:52 am
#6 – you can go to “sold” items – as soon as the item is sold, it’s off the main page.
#8 – if they sold as recently as this one did, then the buyer likely does not yet have the item…
October 20, 2009 at 11:02 am
@#11 marzipanapple:
seriously, are you smoking the crack right now? Or right now as when you typed that?
Fuck, his paintings are horrendous (subject matter or technique). If Dali saw any of these “homages” (and believe me, said the person who holds an art degree) he would wish his eyes would drip out of his sockets…
What delights me is the suspicious feeling I have that the cupcakes over on the etsy forums are snatching this type of shit up like as if to prove some point about being relentlessly positive and blindly optimistic (in the face of reality)… because we’re all mean pricks (although, somehow it’s supposedly not hypocritical for them to call other people names when they’re defending what should not be defended) and then I think about how great this stuff will look tucked away in shame in a box in someone’s attic… or stuffed inside a pizza box and left out by the curb… and then I think about the people who go junking, and what they would think if they found this stuff in their trash to treasure hunts (and, yes, my crazy mother has a sister who is a “junker”)…
And it makes me smile.
October 20, 2009 at 11:03 am
Now how do we know the buyers are real buyers… I’m suspicious that there is THAT big of an audience for this subject matter, though who knows, maybe a rich vampire bought them.
October 20, 2009 at 11:04 am
“Regretsy” is already being used as a tag by some sellers: http://www.etsy.com/search_results.php?search_type=handmade&search_query=regretsy&order=date_desc&ship_to=
Soon we’re going to see items specifically made for the “regretsy market” — although presumably “Mittens” already blazed that trail. Oh, what special horrors await!
October 20, 2009 at 11:05 am
#13 Sar-Sar says:
“What delights me is the suspicious feeling I have that the cupcakes over on the etsy forums are snatching this type of shit up like as if to prove some point about being relentlessly positive and blindly optimistic (in the face of reality)… because we’re all mean pricks (although, somehow it’s supposedly not hypocritical for them to call other people names when they’re defending what should not be defended)”
– Nail on the head! THANK YOU!!!
October 20, 2009 at 11:17 am
Eh, it’s art. I’ve seen worse hanging up in art museums.
October 20, 2009 at 11:42 am
Can’t… stop… laughing.
October 20, 2009 at 11:43 am
technically, these paintings suck ass. they don’t even remotely approach “pretty good”. The seriousness with which they are approached makes them completely disturbing AND hilarious.
October 20, 2009 at 12:12 pm
Really…who would buy these? They’re probably going to be hanging up in some bondage and S&M dungeon somewhere. Yep, I can see the painter and the buyers up at the “Pearly Gates” wondering why they can’t get in……
October 20, 2009 at 12:15 pm
I’m sure they weren’t “bought” by his shilling friends.
October 20, 2009 at 12:18 pm
First, I have been teaching art, studying art and traveling to see REAL art for years…
Artist:a person who uses imagination and skill to communicate ideas in visual form.
So, TECHNICALLY he is an artist, TECHNIQUE he sucks.
Take an anatomy class for F@#$s sake!
October 20, 2009 at 1:01 pm
the definition of technically is
adj.
1. Of, relating to, or derived from technique.
He is an artist, just a really bad one.
October 20, 2009 at 1:30 pm
Proof: Satan does browse regretsy!
October 20, 2009 at 2:05 pm
You know, I like the snark of Helen, but some of the commenters here are just plain out mean.
October 20, 2009 at 2:13 pm
@25, It’s a fine line. I’m not always sure where to draw it. You should see the shit I delete.
October 20, 2009 at 2:13 pm
I love that regretsy is now a tag.
It’s refreshing, like the ugly girl at a bar who know’s she’s hideous and is fine with leaving with the last drunk at the closing time.
October 20, 2009 at 2:35 pm
After reading this and knowing that guy sold more the even 2 of those hideous paintings. I think I might start making vagina being violated by demons jewelry (yes I sell jewelry on Etsy) and tagging it with Regretsy!
October 20, 2009 at 3:05 pm
Dear little fucked up dude,
You do not fool me. I know you created a side account to buy paintings from yourself.
You still suck.
Love,
Me
October 20, 2009 at 4:19 pm
Did anyone follow the link and read the entire article? He MASTURBATED while painting these! And these are things he actually did with an old girlfriend! Talk about giving me the jibblies!
October 20, 2009 at 4:28 pm
um, there’s such a thing as too much information, devil boy. check alternate photos.
http://www.etsy.com/view_transaction.php?transaction_id=20549149
October 20, 2009 at 4:58 pm
I find myself unable to consider the opinions of someone who cannot find the shift key.
October 20, 2009 at 5:00 pm
P.S, referring to the blog post.
October 20, 2009 at 8:20 pm
OoooohhhMG those paintings are so METAL, like denim-jacket-with-spikes-and-torn-cuffs metal, you can hear the Maiden blasting in the background if you stare at them close enough. I can totally believe he sold those, I know plenty of hipster kids who would kill to have something that atrocious in their living room.
October 20, 2009 at 8:55 pm
Can we stop with the “technically good” shit, they are technically awful. atrocious. No it’s not like a third grader did them, but that doesn’t excuse crappy composition, perspective, color, rendering.
October 20, 2009 at 9:21 pm
Also note that sellers can change the price point down to .20 and then “buy” the paintings themselves under another name or have their friends buy the paintings so they don’t get slammed with high fees. You can’t tell from the sold listing what the final price was. I too find it highly suspicious that the seller went from 2 sales in 7 months to 14 sales with only 1 additional day on regretsy.
October 20, 2009 at 9:32 pm
I really get the feeling, from the correspondence I’ve gotten, that this is totally on the level.
October 20, 2009 at 9:38 pm
Oh there is stuff here me and my friends want to buy. I personally want the chicken poncho. If I was not unemployed I would be supporting some of these folks.
October 20, 2009 at 11:21 pm
Good grief… I am actually speechless!!
October 20, 2009 at 11:31 pm
Ok.. i read the blog about the sales. Am I the only one who thinks it looks like the “sugar mama” of valevortex may have purchased all the paintings? That blog was HILARIOUS– as in I cannot believe it is real.
October 20, 2009 at 11:44 pm
Do you think the Kumbaya Etsiers think we’ll stop making fun of er, interesting creations, if they get sold?
Personally, I view it as two people to make fun of rather than just one.
October 21, 2009 at 7:13 am
Here’s a question for you: which painter is more horrifying to you – this guy, or that ‘painter of light’ Thomas Kincade guy?
It’s a toss up for me.
October 21, 2009 at 9:28 am
hi y’all i wanted to thank you guys for checking out my blog yesterday! i now have the “leave a comment” available!
http://grigiodesign.blogspot.com/
#40 to my knowledge, i don’t think valevortex’s sugar mama is aware of his paintings.
October 21, 2009 at 11:07 am
@ 25 (jenny)
you think this is mean? you have no clue what gallerists or even children’s books publishers would spit right into your face, even if you came up with acceptable stuff (i.e. definitely crap like these paintings).
October 21, 2009 at 11:08 am
i mean definitely NOT crap like these paintings
October 21, 2009 at 6:50 pm
so glad i sent it in and some poor soul has that to wake up to each and every day. can. not. believe. it. sold. now i have to live with that! HA! go go regresty go.
October 21, 2009 at 8:14 pm
Wow, what a load of crap. No, these paintings are not “pretty good.” Aside from some interesting use of color they are exactly the type of thing I would expect from a sexually-frustrated 14-year-old boy with a personality disorder. Their only value I can see (aside from wank-material for said disturbed teen) is possibly as art-therapy… in other words it’s certainly preferable for Valevortex to be creating crappy amateur porn than molesting the neighbor kids or torturing animals.
No, what really disturbs me is Grigio’s vindictive and possibly libelous posting of the personal information of the woman who Grigio snidely refers to as Valevortex’s “sugar mama.” In fact Grigio has devoted several blog entries to slandering her. How is it any of Grigio’s business? More, why does she even care? It almost makes me think the whole story is a front to give Grigio an excuse to badmouth someone she has a personal grudge against. In any case, her posts about Maria D. (including Maria’s age, work websites, and other personal data) strike me as being unbelievably inappropriate.
Oh, one other thing… the issue Grigio supposedly has with Maria is that she “stole” Valevortex away from his ex-girlfriend. Why is Grigio blaming her and not Valevortex? If he’s a cheater who picked up with someone new for money, sex, fame, good connections, or any other reason, that’s HIS fault. It’s asinine to lay all (or even most) of the blame on the “other woman.” Whether or not Maria knew he was already in a relationship, 90% of the blame belongs to HIM.
So while I question Grigio’s taste in art, I question her judgment (and motives) even more.
October 22, 2009 at 7:50 pm
I was bored enough to read about half of that mess on the blog. It’s one part soap opera and one part pretentious babble which is attempting to help us understand the tortured mind of the artist. (I didn’t care enough about either to finish reading it!)
You know who probably bought all those paintings? The art directors for that CBS show Criminal Minds. They needed some set props for a serial killer’s lair in an upcoming episode!
October 22, 2009 at 8:43 pm
The thing I can’t get over is that he’s in his 30s but he paints like he’s in his teens.
Incidentally, I suspect the blogger (Grigio) is actually the ex-girlfriend (Valevortex’s “Che”) that the paintings are supposedly about. I’m guessing that her motivation is to inflate the paintings’ value with her long-winded puffery in an attempt to make them appear to have some significance other than that of bad amateur porn. Otherwise why would she have so much venom against the new girlfriend? Soap opera is right.
October 23, 2009 at 10:52 am
Yeah, that sounds about right. It makes the “artist” sound like a pathetic dishrag who is alternately motivated by greed and led around by his dick, and the “che” person comes off as this amazing sensual woman who has an almost hypnotic hold over the artist. As you noted above, I love the way they paint the sugar mama as a horrible evil Mrs. Robinson seductress. The artist just *had* to have an affair with her. He had no choice! It’s all her fault! Perhaps his next series of paintings should be called “Involuntary Infidelity”
October 26, 2009 at 9:58 pm
hahahayou guys are almost right! grigio is my sister in law, so i it is personal, i know the story, and i’ve worked with both of them…
#47, #48, #49, maria’s friends? cus there’s no remarks on valevortex’s paintings.thank you for the lovely essay.
fyi: he asked me as a favor to write his story for him, so i might as well tell the whole entire truth.
October 26, 2009 at 10:39 pm
hahahayou guys are almost right! “che” is my sister in law, so i it is personal, i know the story, and i’ve worked with both of them…
#47, #48, #49, maria’s friends? cus there’s no remarks on valevortex’s paintings.thank you for the lovely essay.
fyi: he asked me as a favor to write his story for him, so i might as well tell the whole entire truth.
October 27, 2009 at 9:13 am
Re-read my post: I did indeed comment on his paintings. It’s just that I found your personal agenda and your taste & judgment in posting her personal information even more unpleasant and disturbing – if that is possible – than his “artwork.”
No, I’m not a friend of Maria. I’d never heard of any of you before reading the melodrama in your blog. So you might want to re-think your tone and kinds of stuff you’re posting – I got all my perception of the situation from that.
October 27, 2009 at 9:45 am
I would think that the postings about Maria on the blog, along with subsequent links involving her phone number, email address, and places of business would be considered libel and she could probably (and should in my opinion) sue you because of it.
October 27, 2009 at 11:41 am
#47,#48,#49 my sincere apologies. i reacted to quickly and didn’t read clearly.
December 1, 2009 at 11:42 am
Why would anyone ever? why?