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Mock Turtle

Posted by Helen Killer

43 comments

Whimsy! That’s the word I’d use! I’ve got a decaying turtle foot on my cravat and I feel so fanciful! La la la la la!

Jesus, this thing is disgusting. The only way it could be worse is if there were two of them.

Filed in Dead Things, Jewelry 43 comments

43 Comments

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Oct 18, 2009
10:22 am

#1 tempesty :

I like the heart shaped thing it’s resting on. Very romantic.

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 18, 2009
10:24 am

#2 Helen Killer :

I think it’s carpaccio.

Rate this comment: +2

Oct 18, 2009
10:27 am

#3 tempesty :

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=17827302

Oh dear. Buffalo teeth. This is all.

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 18, 2009
10:27 am

#4 silly squirrel :

Oh My..will wear it to High Tea with the Queen

Rate this comment: +2

Oct 18, 2009
10:42 am

#5 PlainJane :

ahhh 101 things to do with that turtle foot you’ve got laying around!

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 18, 2009
11:05 am

#6 everydaymama :

You can pretty it up, but it’s still road kill ;P

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 18, 2009
11:10 am

#7 chicaflamenca :

Oh I have no words for such things.

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 18, 2009
11:18 am

#8 Monstrosa :

Maybe a wasp was eating the turtle’s dead flesh when she found it. Hence, the bee.

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 18, 2009
11:22 am

#9 The Runaway Lawyer :

Do these purveyers of animal parts drive around town all day trolling for roadkill, are they serial fauna murderers, or do they happen to operate a hospice care for terminally ill wildlife? Whatever the reality, it certainly doesn’t speak well of the “artist.”

*Shudder*

Rate this comment: +1

Oct 18, 2009
11:30 am

#10 Je :

I am now afraid, thanks.

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 18, 2009
11:43 am

#11 everydaymama :

Now I get where Lucky’s feet went! http://www.snotr.com/video/2999

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 18, 2009
12:11 pm

#12 PussDaddy :

Clutch my pearls! That thing is horrendous.

Rate this comment: +2

Oct 18, 2009
12:25 pm

#13 Jea :

PussDaddy,
Maybe you should sell your pearl necklace on etsy…it’s homemade right?

Rate this comment: +1

Oct 18, 2009
12:50 pm

#14 aishatonu :

Wow, now I have something to wear with my Turtle in the Garden ring!

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 18, 2009
3:11 pm

#15 quantuminsanity :

oh yes, when I see a decaying animal limb the first thing I think of is putting a crown on it…

Rate this comment: +1

Oct 18, 2009
3:17 pm

#16 Flo Moe :

I thought it was petrified saag paneer.

Rate this comment: +1

Oct 18, 2009
4:53 pm

#17 redhead :

Uttery disgusting! What in the hell is wrong with the ghouls??

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 18, 2009
6:21 pm

#18 MinnePurl :

Don’t make a wish on it, whatever you do!

Rate this comment: +3

Oct 18, 2009
7:04 pm

#19 clamchowder :

I would consider buying it if it was a turtles vagina- the foot is boring…

Rate this comment: +1

Oct 18, 2009
9:09 pm

#20 whyohwhy :

“Victorian inspired”?

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 18, 2009
9:25 pm

#21 John Foley :

It’s totally Victorian. I couldn’t even begin to list all the stories I’ve heard about Victorian gentleman and their turtle appendage-encrusted jewelry.

Rate this comment: +5

Oct 18, 2009
10:13 pm

#22 priceless :

Aww Flo Moe, saag paneer is my favourite. Thanks for ruining it… I will never look at it the same way again lol

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 18, 2009
11:34 pm

#23 steviesegel :

It looks like something some evil queen would wear in a bad horror/sci-fi film !! “Behold the power of the claw! (insert cackling laughter)”

Rate this comment: +1

Oct 18, 2009
11:39 pm

#24 Stiflers Mom :

I wonder what happened to the REST of that poor turtle.

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 19, 2009
2:29 am

#25 mommaroach :

Eek! Place the royal “turtle in the garden” ring upon my royal finger so that I may poke my royal eyes out!

Rate this comment: +1

Oct 19, 2009
7:22 am

#26 YankBoffin :

“Victorian inspired”

Ummm…”Pride and Prejudice and Zombies” is just a fictional work.

Rate this comment: +1

Oct 19, 2009
7:22 am

#27 turtlegirl76 :

DO. NOT. WANT.

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 19, 2009
7:37 am

#28 The Mayor of Bethville :

All I can think about are all those poor turtles walking around on crutches.

Rate this comment: +1

Oct 19, 2009
8:40 am

#29 sevnofnyn :

Well, if you think back to Victorian times, that is when colonialism was going on- you know, British Empire crap. Anyway, far away people and animals, the whole exotic savage thing. People used to cut off elephant feet and make tables out of them and did garish things with other animals, so yes this might really be a reflection of some Victorian ornamentation. Hopefully it was a found turtle leg, like from road kill or something that was dead 50 years, and not taken off, in this day and age, off a live turtle.

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 19, 2009
8:56 am

#30 AnnetteCurtain :

I think that’s turtley awful.

Badum Tish

Rate this comment: +3

Oct 19, 2009
9:11 am

#31 sar-sar :

Somewhere, someone must be fashioning a turtle foot prosthetic. Whoever said the thing about the turtle vagina (yeah, scrolling up would have been more difficult than typing this) — bravo! and thanks for the giggles.

File this under WTF.
Holy moly.

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 19, 2009
10:36 am

#32 vangoghbabe :

#30 Annette Curtain…I’m sitting here at parent teacher confs…Trying not to pull my hair out with boredom…no parent ever comes to see me(art teacher extraordinaire!) soooo…not in a great mood.
UNTIL, I read yours! Good times…I’m better.
I could buy this and hot glue to a stick and make a wonderful pointer…so I can point at REAL art images for the kiddies!!

Rate this comment: +4

Oct 19, 2009
1:11 pm

#33 pauldodo :

‘The only way it could be worse is if there were two of them’……and maybe they’d be praying for deliverance……

p
x

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 19, 2009
2:37 pm

#34 iamhydrogen14 :

Glue to a gnarly tree branch and you’ve got a witch’s back-scratcher. Or evil magic wand. Maybe it can set fire to “fairy nests.”

Rate this comment: +3

Oct 19, 2009
2:41 pm

#35 iamhydrogen14 :

on a mostly serious note: if anyone is actually concerned about where animal parts like this come from, most of them are from taxidermy supply shops. Those folks usually have pretty high standards about using only found (yes, found) carcasses to take things like feet, teeth, fur and bones from. Just an FYI from someone who really digs taxidermy and such…

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 19, 2009
6:08 pm

#36 Prof. Scammington :

The brass dangle adds a “touch of whimsy”? One would have thought wearing a dried turtle foot affixed to one’s blouse would be whimsical enough for even the most quixotic of eccentrics.

Rate this comment: +1

Oct 19, 2009
6:48 pm

#37 Crossed Promise :

Is anyone else concerned about the fact that the gold nonsense it the top looks like golden tinfoil?? This is leftovers folks! FANCY LEFTOVERS!
In any case, I’m glad I wasn’t invited to that dinner party. That “brass dangle” is probably someone’s lost earring.

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 19, 2009
8:19 pm

#38 razberries :

eww…makes me especially cringe because one of my turtles just passed away last week and we had to bury him…i hope this nut didn’t dig him up to make this horrific ‘jewelry’…LOL

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 9, 2009
9:02 pm

#39 DidUCallMeAWhore :

Ooh, just what I need to brighten up my Christmas tree…wonder if she takes special orders?

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 12, 2009
6:42 am

#40 whatthefuck :

i wanna throw up! That is seriously so disgusting.

Rate this comment: 0

Dec 20, 2009
2:32 am

#41 It Lives :

Royal? Hell yeah!

I totally want this for my scepter.

Rate this comment: 0

Feb 2, 2010
1:27 pm

#42 hamoza :

This drek is about as inspirational as a spiel from a politician.Get this fartist a mortition.

Rate this comment: 0

Feb 2, 2010
1:28 pm

#43 hamoza :

oops , make that mortitian.

Rate this comment: 0