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Before You Die, You See The Ring

You might also want to take it off before you put your contacts in.

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34 comments on Before You Die, You See The Ring

  1. Stiflers Mom
    October 18, 2009 at 10:17 am

    Whoa!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  2. silly squirrel
    October 18, 2009 at 10:26 am

    You will put your eye out if you wear that…

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  3. bloopoo
    October 18, 2009 at 10:42 am

    Haha! Someone’s gonna buy that! Just give it time.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  4. PlainJane
    October 18, 2009 at 10:43 am

    I actually think its pretty original !

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

    • Helen Killer
      October 18, 2009 at 10:45 am

      No argument there.

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

  5. everydaymama
    October 18, 2009 at 11:08 am

    Original, yes! Functional… NOPE! “You’ll put your eye out”!

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  6. Missy Heimer
    October 18, 2009 at 11:14 am

    “Turtle in the garden” sounds like code for needing to crap… or in this case, a piece of crap.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  7. hammerhead77
    October 18, 2009 at 11:57 am

    Hey, if you like it, this seller has a wide range of rings which will put someone’s eye out! See also:

    hatching eggs ring
    silver nest ring
    bejeweled forest mouse ring
    berries and butterflies ring

    All of the listings feature a long, rambling free-verse “poem” about the piece, and advise you not to go swimming in the ring. I’m glad the seller added that. I don’t know about you all, but I never head to the pool without a good pair of goggles and some really gaudy costume jewelry.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  8. PussDaddy
    October 18, 2009 at 12:08 pm

    Who would actually wear that?

    Thumb up Thumb down -2

  9. thembone
    October 18, 2009 at 12:35 pm

    It’s not particularly practical or wearable…but at least it’s pretty and they’re not asking $200 for it. And there are no vaginas.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  10. CoffeeLove
    October 18, 2009 at 1:51 pm

    @ #10.
    Yep you are right :)
    But pretty much, jewelry that is not practical and yells for too much attention is over doing it.

    Wearing this at work would definitely poke my eye out, scratch me and tear out some of my hair though! :D

    AND YES, NO VAGINAS! Hoorah!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  11. CoffeeLove
    October 18, 2009 at 1:55 pm

    And oh yes, the shop owner is pretty creative. Her abacus necklaces are awesome. But this ring is just..agh.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  12. Karma
    October 18, 2009 at 2:03 pm

    In this case the secret garden should remain a secret.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  13. hammerhead77
    October 18, 2009 at 2:25 pm

    Give this seller some time! She hasn’t yet realized that she should charge $400 for her “art” and that she should totally get in on the lucrative etsy adult jewelry market and make a series of kunterbunt in purgatory rings, accented with bejeweled vaginas, and some dead things on pipe cleaners

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  14. steviesegel
    October 18, 2009 at 2:49 pm

    never mind taking it off when you put in your contacts…you better take it off before you go to the bathroom! OUCH!

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  15. quantuminsanity
    October 18, 2009 at 3:09 pm

    Ahahahahahaha

    Oh that poor turtle!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  16. Sandra D
    October 18, 2009 at 4:24 pm

    You know, if that was a brooch, and the danglies were bent around it instead of sticking out, I’d wear it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  17. Helen Killer
    October 18, 2009 at 4:26 pm

    And if your mother had a dick, she’d be your father.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  18. clamchowder
    October 18, 2009 at 7:07 pm

    This might not be practical but for $20 I think it is pretty creative.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  19. priceless
    October 18, 2009 at 10:42 pm

    Lack of creativity isn’t the problem with a lot of these sellers, dear clamchowder. Just ask the Satan-enlightened artist of “Involuntary Emesis”. The problem is, quite simply, a lack of good common fucking sense.

    And in many cases talent.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  20. heidrun
    October 19, 2009 at 2:32 am

    i totally want to wear a thing like this in the pool! 10 minutes and you’d have the pool all for yourself while everyone else is gone looking for band-aids (or in the hospital)

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

  21. PussDaddy
    October 19, 2009 at 5:42 am

    The abucuses aren’t bad.

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  22. YankBoffin
    October 19, 2009 at 7:14 am

    Perfect accessory to wear to the Mad Hatter’s party.

    The person who fancies this likely adores Absinthe, and may already be blind in one eye.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  23. MaraudingJ
    October 19, 2009 at 7:45 am

    The post titles just keep getting better and better. I nearly passed out from laughing.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  24. The Mayor of Bethville
    October 19, 2009 at 7:49 am

    I’m not going to lie. If this seller made one with a unicorn on it, I would buy it. I have many enemies.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  25. vangoghbabe
    October 19, 2009 at 11:08 am

    hey, if you attached it to the porcelain dildo…..
    ah, never mind.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  26. pauldodo
    October 19, 2009 at 1:15 pm

    ‘You might also want to take it off before you put your contacts in’….

    or when you scratch your arse.

    p
    x

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  27. gazoo
    October 19, 2009 at 1:29 pm

    You can help prolong the life
    of YOUR ANUS by removing it before WIPING, washing your
    TWAT and CHANGING YOUR TAMPON.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  28. goblin
    October 19, 2009 at 2:00 pm

    hammerhead777 (#8), you are so right — “Hatching Eggs” is brilliant! A worm “playfully” holds down one fledgling while mama bird doesn’t notice, as she’s too excited by the sight of her other 3 babies taking it to the sky. I’d love to see it re-titled “Revenge of the Worm.”
    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=27169539

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  29. Mantelli
    October 19, 2009 at 6:18 pm

    I’ve seen worse thing than this at craft fairs, and I have to agree that she has a much more realistic attitude about pricing. PLEASE don’t discover the world of $4,000 shoelace macrame!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  30. chicaflamenca
    October 19, 2009 at 7:50 pm

    Oh my goodness….can you imagine if you had a booger? HOLY HELL.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  31. plarson
    October 21, 2009 at 11:36 am

    You may also want to remove this before being seen in public.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  32. Pumpkin_Queen
    December 20, 2009 at 10:32 am

    Maybe this seller is going to make this jewelry (which is pretty, but impractical), then make matching eye patches? Maybe the first one could be made of red satin with the eyeball dangling from it?

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  33. ScrapMetal
    August 17, 2011 at 7:03 pm

    You can help prolong your life by removing it- period.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

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