NSFW – This one is j-u-u-u-st right

Posted by Helen Killer 81 comments

Filed in Art, View it in a Room 81 comments
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Oct 16, 2009
5:20 pm
#1 HanValen :
Um… where is her other arm?

OMG!!!! the BEAR ate it!
She is suffering from Stockholm Syndrome after the bear ate her arm!

Either that, or the reason the bear is so calm… *winks* you guys know why…

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Oct 16, 2009
5:22 pm
#2 whyohwhy :

Does this fall under the sellers brand of “whimsical art” too?

I sure this bear’s feeling pretty whimsical thinking about his easy dinner.

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Oct 16, 2009
5:30 pm
#3 artsnark :
Caption should read:
Yes! Now you can own my own personal masturbatory fantasy for ONLY $2,500!!

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Oct 16, 2009
5:33 pm
#4 shabbyelbee :
Bear: “You want me to do WHAT!?

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Oct 16, 2009
5:35 pm
#5 MistressTenn :
OK what the fuck. I know I have seen some pretty messed up shit on this site but what the hell is with this?

Bear with creepy smile? Young girl masturbating while wearing mittens? This just really wigs me out.

Great ‘view in room’ though =]

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Oct 16, 2009
5:36 pm
#6 nutcase :
2,500??? but i don’t see her vagina!

and thanks again for letting me view it in a room! made me laugh once more! lol

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Oct 16, 2009
5:38 pm
#7 AgoutiAvenger :

Look how gentle the bear is with his claws! She’s not even bleeding. Awww Although he could be a dear and pop her bilateral ass pimples.

And 36×48! Staring into the cavernous area behind her mitten that the bear obviously dug out would really avert the eye from a large blank wall.

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Oct 16, 2009
6:01 pm
#8 CrapCrafter :
I think the missing arm is um, “taking care” of the bear. A reach-behind, if you will.

Disturbing on so many levels.

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Oct 16, 2009
6:08 pm
#9 sar-sar :
made me literally laugh out loud… and surely will appear in my nightmares… or nightbares… with mittens.

WTF.

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Oct 16, 2009
6:19 pm
#10 quantuminsanity :
Oh come on! Surely it’s against the rules to post pictures of bestiality on Etsy? Please tell me it is….

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Oct 16, 2009
6:45 pm
#11 thechocolatebanana :
Agreed with CrapCrafter. That’s a total reach-behind situation going on there.
Excuse me while I wash my eyes out with bleach. Bleeeck.

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Oct 16, 2009
7:19 pm
#12 groove is in da heart :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

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Oct 16, 2009
7:20 pm
#13 redhead :

Awww, you could put one of her other paintings in your vagina series.

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=32730236

Don’t quit your day job Heather.

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Oct 16, 2009
8:25 pm
#14 bloodorange :

I’m so thoroughly conflicted by this: Ridiculous and creepy, obviously, but ridiculously bad and creepy; or ridiculously awesome and creepy?

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Oct 16, 2009
8:25 pm
#15 tempesty :

OMFG. I am laughing so hard right now. Tears are involved.

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Oct 16, 2009
8:27 pm
#16 tempesty :
The bear isn’t even into it. Somehow, that’s the part I can’t get over. The vacant, staring-off-into-the-distance indifference of the bear.

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Oct 16, 2009
8:32 pm
#17 CateLawrence :

this is just wrong

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Oct 16, 2009
9:31 pm
#18 bonspiel :

“bilateral ass pimples”! Haha! I guess this is one way to deal with not knowing how to paint hands.

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Oct 16, 2009
10:58 pm
#19 snowdemon :
Don’t blame the bear. He doesn’t want to be there; he’s just doing what he has to do to put his kids through college.

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Oct 17, 2009
12:16 am
#20 lleah :

Holy shit…

“2,500??? but i don’t see her vagina!”

Awesome.

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Oct 17, 2009
1:37 am
#21 shabbyelbee :
Coming up next: The Big Blue House gets RAW!

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Oct 17, 2009
3:05 am
#22 EMPM :

I…don’t … understand…

Oh, wait, yeah. Yeah. I get it now. It’s some chick masturbating with a mitten while being embraced by a bear starring off into the distance. Yeah, that makes perfect sense. How could I not see that.

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Oct 17, 2009
5:09 am
#23 fuzzygalore :

Aside from the glaringly bizarre – I can’t get passed why her one foot is so f’n HUGE!

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Oct 17, 2009
6:59 am
#24 clamchowder :

I keep coming back and looking at it frequently. It isn’t my style but the artist has talent as a painter. It is just such a weird pairing I wonder what the inspiration was.

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Oct 17, 2009
7:40 am
#25 heidrun :

hey, you didn’t post the description, it says, “for some reason having a bunch of men dance around in their panties in front of it seems just too perfect.”
ummm…no.

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Oct 17, 2009
7:41 am
#26 heidrun :

and somehow, in the context of this painting, stuff like this seems a little more disturbing:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=25275208

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Oct 17, 2009
7:43 am
#27 hello_robin :
Finally!
My problem with bear on human porn is that they never include mittens.
Problem solved.

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Oct 17, 2009
8:04 am
#28 OMG Guinea Pigs :
Hands ARE one of the hardest things to draw.

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Oct 17, 2009
9:55 am
#29 projectkennedy :

what the slut!?

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Oct 17, 2009
10:17 am
#30 silly squirrel :
The bear feels shame for her, you can see it in his eyes. LMAO

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Oct 17, 2009
12:07 pm
#31 Tamcatt :

what the?!?! so weird. can’t think of any words to decribe. . . .ugh!

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Oct 17, 2009
12:33 pm
#32 bellesouth :

Good gravy, make it stop.

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Oct 17, 2009
1:14 pm
#33 HomeAlone :
It wouldn’t work without the red mittens. That’s what really pulls this composition together.

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Oct 17, 2009
1:41 pm
#34 chakatreatment :
You just know that poor bear is going to need years of therapy, and those mittens better vibrate otherwise they’re gonna be there all day. Seriously. The thing that was shocking to me is the actual painting technique was pretty good, but the subject is so freaking bizarre it seems like it should be painted with poo on a padded rubber wall…

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Oct 17, 2009
2:13 pm
#35 steviesegel :

oh for the love of God, why?
if you check the seller’s other listings…they ain’t much better (and the “holey vagina mary” is just downright offensive)

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Oct 17, 2009
4:45 pm
#36 penelopelane :

HUH, weird: http://heatherfuture.blogspot.com/2009/10/regretsy.html

I don’t know what to make of it all.

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Oct 17, 2009
5:03 pm
#37 Helen Killer :

I don’t have a problem with people submitting their own work. I really appreciate people who don’t take themselves too seriously.

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Oct 17, 2009
5:05 pm
#38 deethebear :

hey i know that dude…lol ;p

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Oct 17, 2009
6:29 pm
#39 CrapCrafter :

I understand Heather’s blog comments totally. The worst thing for any artist: being boring, being ignored, not having an impact. It’s so hard to shock or offend people nowadays. A negative emotional connection is better than none.

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Oct 17, 2009
6:32 pm
#40 mannequinreject :

It’s fucking Goldilocks!

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Oct 17, 2009
7:36 pm
#41 Cath of Canberra :

OMG! I suggest an NSFW click-to-view option might be a good idea, what with this and all the vulva art and the needlepoint cocksucking. Hilarious stuff, I’m loving the site and can only imagine it growing like Cakewrecks.

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Oct 17, 2009
9:37 pm
#42 thisiscrap :

Too bad the artist asks so little of her audience.

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Oct 18, 2009
1:40 am
#43 tianrui :

Why does it have to be so damned expensive? I’d love to buy this for someone I know and present it seriously. Think of the social obligation such a gift creates. heh heh heh

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Oct 18, 2009
2:50 am
#44 Rachel :

I thought I was the only one who found paintings of girls masturbating with mittens on while staring up at a bear who is gazing off into the distance like he totally isn’t fucking her asshole at all.
Guess it really is a small world!

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Oct 18, 2009
6:15 am
#45 AM :
“I understand Heather’s blog comments totally. The worst thing for any artist: being boring, being ignored, not having an impact. It’s so hard to shock or offend people nowadays. A negative emotional connection is better than none.”

And this comment, unfortunately, reaffirms my low opinion of artists in general. It’s not about enjoying the process of creating or trying to make a world a more beautiful place. It’s all about getting attention, just like a little kid.

Her blog post was almost giddy at all the attention, regardless of her impact on other people. Yippee – the world so needs another narcissist.

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Oct 18, 2009
8:40 am
#46 MinnePurl :

I wouldn’t have thought it possible, but this is actually MORE disturbing than Involuntary Emesis.

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Oct 18, 2009
10:05 am
#47 groove is in da heart :
“I started this shop so I could keep the nudity and naughtiness out of my heatherfuture shop, as I don’t want a mom and child team to stumble upon, say, the Vagina Mary.”

Yes, brilliant. They will never be able to find the shop by visiting your blog, which you’ve linked from your other shop. You’re a genius.

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Oct 18, 2009
10:25 am
#48 Karma :

Jan Brett is not amused.

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Oct 18, 2009
10:44 am
#49 Monstrosa :

#45 AM: Actually, it is about enjoying the process of creating. But creating and selling are two very different things. Two different skill sets. There’s plenty of beautiful art in the world that is not getting the attention it deserves.
This is not one of them, but …
Don’t think too badly of artists for being commercial-minded. Everybody’s got to eat.

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Oct 18, 2009
11:46 am
#50 everydaymama :

I feel bad for bears everywhere. I think this may look lovely in granny’s dining room! Anyone?

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Oct 18, 2009
11:49 am
#51 Helen Killer :

@Everydaymama, I’m way ahead of you. Click to view it in a room.

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Oct 18, 2009
12:00 pm
#52 Monstrosa :

The perfect room, btw. Those afghans rock.

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Oct 18, 2009
12:18 pm
#53 PussDaddy :
Smokey The Bear Says only you can prevent forrest fires. And bush fires too.

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Oct 18, 2009
3:21 pm
#54 everydaymama :

@Helen Killer, now that just screams style in the room! YES!!!

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Oct 18, 2009
9:50 pm
#55 priceless :

For once I don’t agree with you Helen: this ain’t juuust right.

It is juuuust wrong, sister. lol

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Oct 18, 2009
10:47 pm
#56 priceless :

Oh, and I am just gonna throw this out there (whole beastiality ick-factor aside)

all the women out there looking at this thing are imagining and what it must feel like to masturbate with scratchy woollen mitts on and my guess is they are NOT thinking… erotic.

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Oct 18, 2009
11:05 pm
#57 priceless :

“Check out the images of it hanging in the Artery in Edmonton during Nextfest. I was so excited – for some reason having a bunch of men dance around in their panties in front of it seems just too perfect.”

The seller beat you to it, HK… her “View it in a Room” sure is priceless alright.

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Oct 18, 2009
11:18 pm
#58 priceless :

Last thing (I know, totally care more about this than I should). Found it interesting that all her other paintings have a long and detailed description of the story behind the picture yet this had none other than the quote above. Could it be that she had no other reason to put this piece together other than she’s good at drawing bears and wanted to make a “disturbing” painting to garner all this attention?

Hey, sex sells right? Even disturbing mitten vajayjay rubbing, by bestiality-committing asymmetrically-footed women embraced by glassy eyed grizzlies. Well, guess we’ll know for sure if she shows up in the sold files :)

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Oct 19, 2009
5:43 am
#59 PussDaddy :

#56 priceless : Oh, and I am just gonna throw this out there (whole beastiality ick-factor aside)

all the women out there looking at this thing are imagining and what it must feel like to masturbate with scratchy woollen mitts on and my guess is they are NOT thinking… erotic.
Oct 18, 2009
11:05 pm
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

They are? Well my ass ain’t one of ‘em.

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Oct 19, 2009
8:48 am
#60 Eveline :

I think it would’ve been more fair to those taking the time to comment on these items to let them know that the actual ‘artist’ sent this in and is just wanting some publicity for her work.

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Oct 19, 2009
9:24 am
#61 Helen Killer :

Actually #60, someone else sent it first. And she’s not the first artist to submit her work to me. It happens every day.

I don’t really care who makes the submission, or why.

Everyone is motivated by something diffrent. I’m motivated by featuring the pieces I think have the most potential for humor.

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Oct 19, 2009
11:26 am
#62 vangoghbabe :

Goldilocks started her menstrual cycle while she was hobbling thru the woods(because of her deformed foot). She had no one to turn to since she was lost in the woods. Other than the mama bear (the bear has very loving eyes, more feminine than masculine). the bear had nothing else to give her except for the beautifully hand knitted mittens. the bear is reassuring Goldi that all young women, including bears go thru this…
Now shut the hell up and hibernate!

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Oct 19, 2009
11:27 am
#63 vangoghbabe :

FYI peeps, while taking art classes, I had a professor tell me once…”Good art does not match your sofa.”
enough said.

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Oct 19, 2009
11:33 am
#64 Monstrosa :

This one sure goes good with those afghans.

Another good tip: If you have to explain it, it ain’t art.

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Oct 19, 2009
1:03 pm
#65 Rachel :

vangoghbabe… your comment made me pee my pants.

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Oct 19, 2009
7:52 pm
#66 chicaflamenca :

I will ONLY buy this if I can get those afghans included. Then my room will be COMPLETE.

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Oct 19, 2009
8:58 pm
#67 razberries :

this seems disturbing to me, and i agree about the comment of ‘beastiality’ above…notice how you need to convo the artist to find out about the story behind the painting…odd. i did look at her other etsy stores and they seemed quite sane in comparison. she is a good painter, i just don’t like this imagery…

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Oct 20, 2009
6:51 am
#68 rodgertheshrubber :
“wearing the mitten while a bear looks on” is my new code phrase for masturbating.

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Oct 20, 2009
8:22 am
#69 Helen Killer :

Rodger, that just about killed me. Well done.

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Oct 21, 2009
8:45 pm
#70 bonspiel :

After some deliberation, I have to say this is my favorite thing on here.

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Oct 23, 2009
10:32 pm
#71 addiosix :

Hands are only difficult to draw/paint if you think of them as hands. Just think of them as any other random object and look mostly at the negative space around them

..which, in this case would be the yarn covered vagina and creepy-bear-penis

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Oct 24, 2009
11:57 pm
#72 Tom Sleczka :

Shit in a mitt. you think your legit but it’s just shit in a mitt. thats my crit. coffee on monday????

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Oct 25, 2009
5:17 am
#73 rover :
I guess it’s true what they taught us all in Catholic school… masturbation will cause weird things to happen to you, like hair growing on the palms of your hands…and for your left foot to become grotesquely large. And giant bears could grow on your back.

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Oct 25, 2009
11:08 pm
#74 penelopelane :

Actually, I’m pretty sure her left foot is the right size and her right foot is either too small or poorly foreshortened.

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Oct 29, 2009
7:34 pm
#75 Tdogdd :

After Bobo the bear stopped working the circus the only job he could get was bestiality mitten porn.

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Nov 9, 2009
12:11 pm
#76 knoxblox :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

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Dec 3, 2009
2:23 am
#77 It Lives :

This one http://www.regretsy.com/2009/11/02/bloody-hell-nsfw/ has shock value without resorting to bestiality, not to mention that the torso is more femininely shaped and the feet and breasts are not lopsided. I never thought I’d say this, but I’d actually buy the blood picture given the choice. Although, talking about menses, the mittens do look like tampons with their strings and blood color. (Enough feedback for you, Mlle. Future?)

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Dec 3, 2009
1:06 pm
#78 Lady Raven :

I, personally, am glad that she has the crocheted yarn connecting the mittens, as if you lost the other- what would you do if you wanted to switch hands and spice it up a bit?

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Dec 8, 2009
4:35 pm
#79 IscreamUscream :

Having put in my years at art school, I recognize how good art connects with the viewer in a way that reaches our collective humanity. In other words, do I feel this work explores anything I can fathom? I mean, more than a nude girl touching herself while reclining on a strangely anthropomorphic bear? If you’re saying that art is often masturbatory, then I commend your subtle genius.

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Dec 9, 2009
2:19 pm
#80 penelopelane :

#77, so you’re saying that a woman’s torso needs to have a typical, idealized shape for art to be good? That’s pretty narrow-minded, and honestly quite offensive.
Also, I think the menstruation analogy is actually quite interesting and probably intentional to some degree.

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Jan 17, 2010
11:30 am
#81 CoconutDragon :

I can’t believe I live in the same city as this painter. Kind of scared now.

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