Lord God. It’s a comb with buttons on it. Not totally hideous, if you’re into buttons, but that description takes the cake. Excuse me while I go write a torrid poem about my denim skirt.
sew the poem into the interior of your skirt…so that you may have reading material while you are sitting on the commode with your undies still up…..but remember, it must be inspiratonal…..
WOW. I never realized that buttons were so GOTH. And that they give off a dark mysterious vibe. Buttons as hair decor always makes me think of my grandma. I didn’t realize my gradnma was goth! WOAH. Revelation!
Revelation #2: maybe that is what is the matter with my life, I have no white buttons. Some white buttons would really bring hope into my life.
$5 seems a little steep for hope. Hope should be free. With crappy plastic buttons hot glue to it . . . but not all the way across because asymmetry helps with the mourning process.
I think the only time buttons can manage to be goth is if you gouge out your eyes and sew buttons into the empty sockets, Coraline style. That would be hardcore. I could respect a good Merlot eye button. As long as the other was white. It could never look quite right without the white button.
“‘Hair Pretties’” is a term that is meant to encompass all things that girls and women like to put in their hair to make it pretty. I am the youngest of four girls and was frequently one of eleven.”
1. Thank GOD she explained “hair pretties,” because I couldn’t wrap my lil’ ol’ mind about what she could possibly be referring to (of course, I was still deep in the button comb miasma, so everything’s hazy).
2. “frequently one of eleven”??? This chick can’t be sure if she had 3 or 10 siblings. I’m not sure she should be allowed to operate a glue gun.
Helen Killer: you slay me!
Plath — lol.
I’ve spent too much time with cupcakes on the etsy forums, which almost stepford-droned the joy from my life since they are void of sarcasm, or allergic to it. Anyway, I somehow convinced myself to blog… and the greatest blog I ever happened upon was some snarky just out of high-schooler who had decided to call her blog “cooking with Plath” — it was the greatest snarky thing ever (well, the title of the blog).
I can’t knock that salesmanship. Now, if she put as much thought into making the product as she does into selling it, why, I think she’d have something great!
(Sorry, I guess I’m feeling less mean since it’s Friday.)
Holy crap. My 6 year old made one of these in summer camp and not only got a big fat F for no creativity, no talent and no sense, she was also forced to clean the latrines by herself. At night. With no lights.
Now she’s totally goth. All because of crappy arts and crafts.
I think it’s a cute enough comb -I’d wear it – and I think it’s sweet that she put so much thought into the description of it. She’s definitely imaginative, and I wish more people would embrace imagination. It’s not like she wrote a nutso description and then charged 50 bucks for the thing. She’s just being creative and passionate. Hats off to her for being herself!
But I don’t want a comb of hope. I want a comb that speaks of deep, existential despair. A comb that plunges the very pits of doom and cries out Nevermore!
Well, that or a purple sparkly scrunchy, I haven’t quite decided.
This comment trail is priceless. Almost as much as the seller’s description. Perfect for a funeral? I wonder if this girl has ever been to a funeral, because you don’t run out and shop for funeral hair accessories, even if you’re goth.
How did I know that if I came back a few days later there’d be people who cussed at me just for saying something positive about a plastic comb? I swear, if it weren’t for making fun of people and being hateful, I don’t know what you people would do with your spare time.
Now, if you’ll excuse me. I must snort milk out my nose whilst laughing at awful things on Regretsy.
October 15, 2009 at 4:49 pm
‘There is something alluring about this comb’. No. No there isn’t. At all.
October 15, 2009 at 5:13 pm
Is it just me or is it missing a button? I guess it was made in the form of its creator.
October 15, 2009 at 5:25 pm
Lord God. It’s a comb with buttons on it. Not totally hideous, if you’re into buttons, but that description takes the cake. Excuse me while I go write a torrid poem about my denim skirt.
October 15, 2009 at 5:39 pm
sew the poem into the interior of your skirt…so that you may have reading material while you are sitting on the commode with your undies still up…..but remember, it must be inspiratonal…..
October 15, 2009 at 5:42 pm
I read the description again….um, the hope is gone dumn ass, there’s no…”but not quite” about it.
October 15, 2009 at 5:42 pm
The last thing I’m thinking about when going to a funeral is what “cute” accessory to wear.
(Bet you they participated in the Dorque description writing workshop?)
October 15, 2009 at 5:51 pm
WOW. I never realized that buttons were so GOTH. And that they give off a dark mysterious vibe. Buttons as hair decor always makes me think of my grandma. I didn’t realize my gradnma was goth! WOAH. Revelation!
Revelation #2: maybe that is what is the matter with my life, I have no white buttons. Some white buttons would really bring hope into my life.
It all makes sense now.
October 15, 2009 at 5:52 pm
When I think Goth the first thing that pops into my mind is…buttons! Nice try there dear but no dice.
October 15, 2009 at 5:53 pm
Yes. White buttons. Saving the world, one sad accesory-less hairdo at a time. Who knew it was so easy.
October 15, 2009 at 6:04 pm
$5 seems a little steep for hope. Hope should be free. With crappy plastic buttons hot glue to it . . . but not all the way across because asymmetry helps with the mourning process.
October 15, 2009 at 6:31 pm
Everything is beautiful to a pothead.
October 15, 2009 at 7:02 pm
I think the only time buttons can manage to be goth is if you gouge out your eyes and sew buttons into the empty sockets, Coraline style. That would be hardcore. I could respect a good Merlot eye button. As long as the other was white. It could never look quite right without the white button.
October 15, 2009 at 8:30 pm
It’s beginning to look alot
like
Solstice….
October 16, 2009 at 5:16 am
From her profile:
“‘Hair Pretties’” is a term that is meant to encompass all things that girls and women like to put in their hair to make it pretty. I am the youngest of four girls and was frequently one of eleven.”
1. Thank GOD she explained “hair pretties,” because I couldn’t wrap my lil’ ol’ mind about what she could possibly be referring to (of course, I was still deep in the button comb miasma, so everything’s hazy).
2. “frequently one of eleven”??? This chick can’t be sure if she had 3 or 10 siblings. I’m not sure she should be allowed to operate a glue gun.
October 16, 2009 at 5:19 am
Helen Killer: you slay me!
Plath — lol.
I’ve spent too much time with cupcakes on the etsy forums, which almost stepford-droned the joy from my life since they are void of sarcasm, or allergic to it. Anyway, I somehow convinced myself to blog… and the greatest blog I ever happened upon was some snarky just out of high-schooler who had decided to call her blog “cooking with Plath” — it was the greatest snarky thing ever (well, the title of the blog).
Buttons glued to a comb? Good god.
October 16, 2009 at 5:33 am
I can’t knock that salesmanship. Now, if she put as much thought into making the product as she does into selling it, why, I think she’d have something great!
(Sorry, I guess I’m feeling less mean since it’s Friday.)
October 16, 2009 at 8:26 am
how are hot glue gunned buttons “goth”, exactly?
October 16, 2009 at 8:31 am
this with the ‘goth’ visor would make a lovely goth outfit. For the Goth tennis club.
October 16, 2009 at 11:34 am
That comb is just as cute as a….wait…not it’s not.
October 16, 2009 at 12:17 pm
Holy crap. My 6 year old made one of these in summer camp and not only got a big fat F for no creativity, no talent and no sense, she was also forced to clean the latrines by herself. At night. With no lights.
Now she’s totally goth. All because of crappy arts and crafts.
October 16, 2009 at 5:07 pm
Yes, we all believe that your 6 year old was made to clean toilets in the dark by herself.
October 17, 2009 at 9:14 am
#21 tempesty :
Yes, we all believe that your 6 year old was made to clean toilets in the dark by herself.
—–
(…sigh)
please see #15
October 17, 2009 at 9:20 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
October 17, 2009 at 9:46 am
@23, Cara, please just go over there and buy the fucking thing. Seriously.
October 17, 2009 at 1:01 pm
Well, I like that it’s so versatile I can wear it to a wedding OR a funeral.
I guess she read up on some Etsy tutorial about how to write winning descriptions and really ran with it…
October 17, 2009 at 7:28 pm
@ Cara…you can make the f*cking thing!
October 17, 2009 at 7:40 pm
But I don’t want a comb of hope. I want a comb that speaks of deep, existential despair. A comb that plunges the very pits of doom and cries out Nevermore!
Well, that or a purple sparkly scrunchy, I haven’t quite decided.
October 18, 2009 at 3:12 am
This comment trail is priceless. Almost as much as the seller’s description. Perfect for a funeral? I wonder if this girl has ever been to a funeral, because you don’t run out and shop for funeral hair accessories, even if you’re goth.
October 18, 2009 at 1:52 pm
So this is where the button eyes from Coraline went!
October 21, 2009 at 11:21 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
October 22, 2009 at 1:04 pm
Hid-i-ous. Those aren’t even cool or cute buttons, Cara. They are cheap plastic crap glue gunned on a comb. Come on, defend something worth buying.
October 23, 2009 at 9:29 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
November 6, 2009 at 11:02 am
“There is something alluring about this comb…”
Hon, if people are telling you that it’s just because you’re holding it as a cage over your breast.
November 11, 2009 at 8:17 pm
“Hold off the funeral! I’m still waiting for my Hair Pretty ™ to arrive in the mail!”
She could really learn something about making Goth jewelry from this chick:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/dollsanddeadthings
October 7, 2010 at 9:47 pm
Best part is I know this girl, and she made me one of these things before, and added a very similar monologue when giving it to me.
May 3, 2011 at 4:07 am
It’s sold!
Just goes to show that sometimes having terrible photos doesn’t matter…