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Comb Over

Posted by Helen Killer

34 comments

Oh for fuck’s sake, it’s a comb, not the Sylvia Plath story. Put down The Bell Jar and go outside for a change.

Filed in Accessories, Annoying Descriptions 34 comments

34 Comments

Add Comment

Oct 15, 2009
4:49 pm

#1 Eveline :

‘There is something alluring about this comb’. No. No there isn’t. At all.

Rate this comment: +15

Oct 15, 2009
5:13 pm

#2 AgoutiAvenger :

Is it just me or is it missing a button? I guess it was made in the form of its creator.

Rate this comment: +8

Oct 15, 2009
5:25 pm

#3 tempesty :

Lord God. It’s a comb with buttons on it. Not totally hideous, if you’re into buttons, but that description takes the cake. Excuse me while I go write a torrid poem about my denim skirt.

Rate this comment: +13

Oct 15, 2009
5:39 pm

#4 vangoghbabe :

sew the poem into the interior of your skirt…so that you may have reading material while you are sitting on the commode with your undies still up…..but remember, it must be inspiratonal…..

Rate this comment: +3

Oct 15, 2009
5:42 pm

#5 vangoghbabe :

I read the description again….um, the hope is gone dumn ass, there’s no…”but not quite” about it.

Rate this comment: +2

Oct 15, 2009
5:42 pm

#6 whyohwhy :

The last thing I’m thinking about when going to a funeral is what “cute” accessory to wear.

(Bet you they participated in the Dorque description writing workshop?)

Rate this comment: +7

Oct 15, 2009
5:51 pm

#7 Jillian :

WOW. I never realized that buttons were so GOTH. And that they give off a dark mysterious vibe. Buttons as hair decor always makes me think of my grandma. I didn’t realize my gradnma was goth! WOAH. Revelation!

Revelation #2: maybe that is what is the matter with my life, I have no white buttons. Some white buttons would really bring hope into my life.

It all makes sense now.

Rate this comment: +21

Oct 15, 2009
5:52 pm

#8 kiru :

When I think Goth the first thing that pops into my mind is…buttons! Nice try there dear but no dice.

Rate this comment: +4

Oct 15, 2009
5:53 pm

#9 chicaflamenca :

Yes. White buttons. Saving the world, one sad accesory-less hairdo at a time. Who knew it was so easy.

Rate this comment: +3

Oct 15, 2009
6:04 pm

#10 bloodorange :

$5 seems a little steep for hope. Hope should be free. With crappy plastic buttons hot glue to it . . . but not all the way across because asymmetry helps with the mourning process.

Rate this comment: +7

Oct 15, 2009
6:31 pm

#11 nuageblanc72 :

Everything is beautiful to a pothead.

Rate this comment: +2

Oct 15, 2009
7:02 pm

#12 tempesty :

I think the only time buttons can manage to be goth is if you gouge out your eyes and sew buttons into the empty sockets, Coraline style. That would be hardcore. I could respect a good Merlot eye button. As long as the other was white. It could never look quite right without the white button.

Rate this comment: +15

Oct 15, 2009
8:30 pm

#13 StebbyLee :

It’s beginning to look alot
like
Solstice….

Rate this comment: +4

Oct 16, 2009
5:16 am

#14 MinnePurl :

From her profile:

“‘Hair Pretties’” is a term that is meant to encompass all things that girls and women like to put in their hair to make it pretty. I am the youngest of four girls and was frequently one of eleven.”

1. Thank GOD she explained “hair pretties,” because I couldn’t wrap my lil’ ol’ mind about what she could possibly be referring to (of course, I was still deep in the button comb miasma, so everything’s hazy).

2. “frequently one of eleven”??? This chick can’t be sure if she had 3 or 10 siblings. I’m not sure she should be allowed to operate a glue gun.

Rate this comment: +12

Oct 16, 2009
5:19 am

#15 sar-sar :

Helen Killer: you slay me!
Plath — lol.
I’ve spent too much time with cupcakes on the etsy forums, which almost stepford-droned the joy from my life since they are void of sarcasm, or allergic to it. Anyway, I somehow convinced myself to blog… and the greatest blog I ever happened upon was some snarky just out of high-schooler who had decided to call her blog “cooking with Plath” — it was the greatest snarky thing ever (well, the title of the blog).

Buttons glued to a comb? Good god.

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 16, 2009
5:33 am

#16 YankBoffin :

I can’t knock that salesmanship. Now, if she put as much thought into making the product as she does into selling it, why, I think she’d have something great!

(Sorry, I guess I’m feeling less mean since it’s Friday.)

Rate this comment: +3

Oct 16, 2009
8:26 am

#17 reqbat :

how are hot glue gunned buttons “goth”, exactly?

Rate this comment: +1

Oct 16, 2009
8:31 am

#18 Jea :

this with the ‘goth’ visor would make a lovely goth outfit. For the Goth tennis club.

Rate this comment: +2

Oct 16, 2009
11:34 am

#19 The Runaway Lawyer :

That comb is just as cute as a….wait…not it’s not.

Rate this comment: +1

Oct 16, 2009
12:17 pm

#20 gazoo :

Holy crap. My 6 year old made one of these in summer camp and not only got a big fat F for no creativity, no talent and no sense, she was also forced to clean the latrines by herself. At night. With no lights.

Now she’s totally goth. All because of crappy arts and crafts.

Rate this comment: +1

Oct 16, 2009
5:07 pm

#21 tempesty :

Yes, we all believe that your 6 year old was made to clean toilets in the dark by herself.

Rate this comment: +3

Oct 17, 2009
9:14 am

#22 kittywings :

#21 tempesty :
Yes, we all believe that your 6 year old was made to clean toilets in the dark by herself.

—–

(…sigh)

please see #15

Rate this comment: +1

Oct 17, 2009
9:20 am

#23 Cara Loryn :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -4

Oct 17, 2009
9:46 am

#24 Helen Killer :

@23, Cara, please just go over there and buy the fucking thing. Seriously.

Rate this comment: +9

Oct 17, 2009
1:01 pm

#25 HomeAlone :

Well, I like that it’s so versatile I can wear it to a wedding OR a funeral.

I guess she read up on some Etsy tutorial about how to write winning descriptions and really ran with it…

Rate this comment: +4

Oct 17, 2009
7:28 pm

#26 froufroubijou :

@ Cara…you can make the f*cking thing!

Rate this comment: +3

Oct 17, 2009
7:40 pm

#27 Cath of Canberra :

But I don’t want a comb of hope. I want a comb that speaks of deep, existential despair. A comb that plunges the very pits of doom and cries out Nevermore!

Well, that or a purple sparkly scrunchy, I haven’t quite decided.

Rate this comment: +12

Oct 18, 2009
3:12 am

#28 freshie :

This comment trail is priceless. Almost as much as the seller’s description. Perfect for a funeral? I wonder if this girl has ever been to a funeral, because you don’t run out and shop for funeral hair accessories, even if you’re goth.

Rate this comment: +3