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NSFW – Try Before You Buy

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58 comments on NSFW – Try Before You Buy

  1. quantuminsanity
    October 13, 2009 at 6:11 pm

    Omg. I just had to google the meaning of emesis didn’t I. o_O

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  2. pottery123
    October 13, 2009 at 6:19 pm

    NOW, this is painting that belongs in dining room. Especially if you hate to cook.

    Yeah, I had to look up the meaning too.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  3. phatgirl818
    October 13, 2009 at 6:20 pm

    the whole shop is um, interesting.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  4. nutcase
    October 13, 2009 at 6:27 pm

    VIEW THIS IMAGE IN A ROOM? wtf?! this made me laugh so hard! i love you helen! :)

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

  5. aishatonu
    October 13, 2009 at 6:48 pm

    I feel like involuntarily vomiting when I see this crap.

    But it looks “great” in the children’s room. Can’t wait to have a baby of my own so I can hang it up in the nursery!

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  6. quantuminsanity
    October 13, 2009 at 7:25 pm

    #2 Even better if you hate to eat…

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  7. redhead
    October 13, 2009 at 7:45 pm

    I wish I hadn’t seen this before bed. :(

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  8. KymPossible
    October 13, 2009 at 8:52 pm

    I am really really looking forward to the next Regretsy post so this isn’t front and center on my screen every time I hit refresh.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  9. twiddledee
    October 13, 2009 at 9:08 pm

    its what’s for dinner….
    or is it
    the other white meat?

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  10. quantuminsanity
    October 13, 2009 at 10:00 pm

    the more I see this the more astonished I am. What sort of person paints this kind of thing? This person has 25 others all just as disturbing. I have to wonder what goes on in this persons mind…

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  11. Stiflers Mom
    October 13, 2009 at 11:19 pm

    Wouldn’t you love to flash this in front of all the Etsy goody two shoes who come into the forums and scold those of us with “nothing better to do” than make fun of bizarre shit like this?

    But “we’re all in this together and we need to help each other out” Uh no . . . and no.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  12. gazoo
    October 14, 2009 at 12:27 am

    Well now I can cross Grandma off the Christmas shopping list. If they can throw in a doily, she’ll be in heaven.

    Thumb up Thumb down +33

  13. sar-sar
    October 14, 2009 at 3:55 am

    Wow.
    I scarcely know where to start.
    I mean, from an art standpoint, this painting is retarded, and I mean that the same way that a third grader on the playground means it.
    Like this person barely knows how to paint considering that this is done in oil (not acrylic or tempera)… and then there’s the subject matter.

    But worse, is their take on Dali
    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=23194936
    I’m not really sure that counts as imitation being the best form of flattery. I think Dali would rather his eyeballs drip down his face than see this homage.

    But hey, it’s a bargain $200.00, and shipping is only 8 bucks.
    wow.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  14. projectkennedy
    October 14, 2009 at 4:25 am

    I want to understand, I really do.. but I don’t! I mean why is the demon’s legs yellow but it’s torso beige? Is it a demon tan? also why do the back of it’s knees look like munted little hands holding his thighs up? What is the white stuff at the bottom of the “chick’s” (and I use the term loosely)hair? cum flakes? bits of bone stuck in her hair? bone covered cum flakes? What’s with the blood splatter? is it meant to be coming out of the demon’s ass? the “chick’s” eyes? WHYYYY!?!?!

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  15. lerandia
    October 14, 2009 at 5:06 am

    For a mere $200? What a steal!

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  16. wtf
    October 14, 2009 at 5:24 am

    I agree with Kympossible…please post some new stuff so this awful picture goes away!!!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  17. JudiPaintedit
    October 14, 2009 at 5:54 am

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -12

  18. jeffreyrcarey
    October 14, 2009 at 6:01 am

    I’m with nutcase, definitely. The image of this on ANY wall in the house is mind-boggling. I wouldn’t want this on the wall of the tool shed in the backyard. Helen’s depiction of the absurdity of it all makes me laugh.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  19. anne
    October 14, 2009 at 6:08 am

    ack. the rest of his stuff isn’t much cheerier…

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  20. MinnePurl
    October 14, 2009 at 6:08 am

    I’m very disappointed there isn’t one called “Mother.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  21. vangoghbabe
    October 14, 2009 at 6:38 am

    We know whose been working out to “Buns of Steel”!!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  22. nuageblanc72
    October 14, 2009 at 7:03 am

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -4

  23. nutcase
    October 14, 2009 at 7:45 am

    just wondering as there seems to be not enough praise for helen’s brilliance. yes, i’m sucking up, haha! so, no offense intended: have you all clicked on the view-it-in-a-room link? if not, do it!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  24. worldfamousfudgy
    October 14, 2009 at 10:31 am

    Just plain wrong on every level. I can scarce imagine ANY decor which would be enhanced by this abomination.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  25. kiru
    October 14, 2009 at 11:16 am

    I’m almost, almost, at a loss for words. This is just…indescribable! I’m sure this is someone’s perfect style of art and would hang it proudly in their home or office but for me? HELL NO! Involuntary emesis is RIGHT! I felt like emisising all over when I saw this guy’s full gallery of work. What the hell is going on in their mind when creating this? And the view in a room is perfect. I can’t think of a more fitting place to hand this masterpiece.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  26. vangoghbabe
    October 14, 2009 at 12:41 pm

    It looks like someone needs the Rainbow cloth wipes! Seeing that his ass crack runs up to his freaking head!!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  27. ebeth
    October 14, 2009 at 1:10 pm

    All this painting needs is some glitter.

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  28. bloopoo
    October 14, 2009 at 2:48 pm

    This person – sorry, artist – needs help. :>/

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  29. chhanda
    October 14, 2009 at 4:38 pm

    So the whole “What is art, anyway?” conversation aside, this painting is a great big pile of shit.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  30. kiru
    October 14, 2009 at 5:29 pm

    @ebeth – and VELVET!

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  31. YankBoffin
    October 14, 2009 at 6:17 pm

    You’d think someone with hooves would be hung like a horse, but this demon got shorted.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  32. PussDaddy
    October 14, 2009 at 10:43 pm

    Crosses myself and backs out slowly while tossing holy water around.

    PussDaddy

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  33. primitiveperson
    October 15, 2009 at 2:17 am

    I’m viewing this from my office, which is at the top of a tall building overlooking a river. I’m going to jump out of the window right now.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  34. freckleyredhead
    October 15, 2009 at 6:46 am

    This painting does not need glitter. It needs clitter.

    (Did I really type that?)

    And this artist needs help. Someone please get that person to a psychologist pronto. Before he rapes and kills someone, if he hasn’t already.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  35. Tadiera
    October 15, 2009 at 7:38 pm

    I love this site because as a crafter myself, it astounds me what some people will sell…

    Anyway, this is the first one that made me burst out laughing.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  36. tomasz.
    October 15, 2009 at 8:00 pm

    holy demonic facerape, Batman!

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  37. benconservato
    October 16, 2009 at 6:27 am

    Oh my! I almost spat what I was drinking on the screen. Perhaps would have been an improvement?

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  38. sd5353
    October 16, 2009 at 5:08 pm

    :| =[ :*(

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  39. mannequinreject
    October 17, 2009 at 7:01 pm

    Did anyone see he changed his shop announcement? “I would like to apologize to my viewers, for i have recived many complains about my paintings. I would like to calmly explain to you the story, but apologizing makes me nurvous, makes me feel sick, even crazy.”

    Um…and painting demons facefucking the spine out of someone doesn’t make you feel sick?

    ????

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  40. priceless
    October 18, 2009 at 9:59 pm

    gross…just gross.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  41. NinjaGato
    October 20, 2009 at 3:47 pm

    I went back and read the sellers profile. I have a mental image of this dude. 30′s, Balding. 400lbs overweight. Virgin. Acne covered. Porn obsessed (but really he really only focuses on the guys) Thinks he’s oodles smarter than everyone around him even though he’s nearly retarded. I will venture a guess that his favorite band is Metallica (nothing against them, of course, it just seems that all weirdos like Metallica) Basically I’m thinking of a more rapey version of Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons.

    Thoughts?

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  42. Prof. Scammington
    October 20, 2009 at 5:36 pm

    projectkennedy, “bone covered cum flakes” FTW.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  43. AnnickS
    October 20, 2009 at 11:25 pm

    If you read the painting descriptions, the demon represents himself. Which makes me want to double check every lock in my house tonight, as well as bleach my mind.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  44. indestructible
    October 21, 2009 at 10:52 am

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -16

  45. chhanda
    October 21, 2009 at 8:01 pm

    yeah.
    spare me your folksy ‘everything is relative’ insights, buddy. that painting is god awful. in case you haven’t noticed, making fun of shit like this is why regretsy is so goddamn funny.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  46. magenashley
    October 24, 2009 at 1:05 pm

    this is just crap…

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  47. malaquite
    October 26, 2009 at 8:11 am

    Right, so, did the devil there just burst a particularly enormous hemorrhoid? What with all the blood, anyway?

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  48. Tdogdd
    October 29, 2009 at 7:39 pm

    Being that I am a catholic I understand that its wrong to masterbate or weird stuff happens. Who knew that if you did some 69 your partner would sprout horns, grow wings and turn into the devil. Good excuse not to give blow jobs

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  49. regretmenot
    November 1, 2009 at 11:33 am

    Que?

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  50. RUShittingMe
    November 25, 2009 at 12:01 pm

    Sold? Someone actually shelled out money for this bullshit? Where in the fuck are they displaying this?

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  51. I-of-the-beholder
    December 5, 2009 at 12:15 am

    (five years from now)

    Neighbor: “We’re just shocked. He was always polite, quiet, kind of a loner. Kept to himself. But that stench from the crawlspace, then our Terrier dug up a femur from his back yard, we started to become concerned. Even the necklace of finger bones around his neck, odd really, but no reason to alert authorities.”

    Regretsy: “WE TRIED TO WARN YOU!”

    You don’t need to watch Minority Report to know this guy needs to be locked up NOW. His art is already a crime.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  52. xyzzy
    January 10, 2010 at 3:08 am

    WTF?! Now the artist’s bio reads…

    “Thanks to all my viewers, I heard the voice of my untamed beast today. i could not, at first, even say a word, my knees fell violently against each other. I thoght of falling, but i did not this time. my mind ran over a thousand absurd projects by which to aviod becoming a partner in the awful speculation, but it was to late, my soul had alreary departed my body like feathers before the wind, leaving me a helpless prey to the breath of his words

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  53. Meanie
    May 24, 2010 at 6:42 pm
  54. Meanie
    May 24, 2010 at 6:47 pm

    This one is even more disturbing/
    http://www.etsy.com/view_transaction.php?transaction_id=20549152
    He seems to really enjoy rape :/

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  55. FlimsyButFun
    July 2, 2010 at 9:11 pm

    She’s a lightweight. Personally, I couldn’t imagine having so much trouble with a dick that small. Maybe it IS “all in how you use it.”

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  56. fallingforpieces
    October 17, 2010 at 10:41 am

    Bio Update: Out of the darkness and the shadows of a faraway land from the south I resurrected. My name is Vale. As a child I struggled to study art, suddenly a drastic change in my life brought me to America and my life became chaotic. No longer the open fields, no longer the green hills, I found myself in a concrete jungle. Everything I paint has a projection of my own philosophical meaning. My heart is in peace now, but not ready so i patiently wait for the storm to pass me by and my metamorphosis will take its place and you will see my true colors.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  57. morellapoe
    July 10, 2011 at 6:04 pm

    I dunno. I kinda like it. Any why yes, I am tw

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  58. morellapoe
    July 10, 2011 at 6:04 pm

    I don’t know, I kind of like it. Why yes, yes I am a twisted individual.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

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