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Jacks on Pollack

Posted by Helen Killer

29 comments

If I wanted something covered with cum and gold eyeshadow, I’d steal Adam Lambert’s hoody.

Filed in Art 29 comments

29 Comments

Add Comment

Oct 9, 2009
3:08 pm

#1 redhead :

Bodily fluids from random strangers to hang on the wall ~ what fun!

Rate this comment: +4

Oct 9, 2009
3:17 pm

#2 Jeannie :

Ewwwwwwwwwww!!!!

I would comment more but I don’t want to have nightmares…

Rate this comment: +2

Oct 9, 2009
3:39 pm

#3 Eveline :

I have had a long discussion with this ‘artist’. I started a thread on Etsy about this (and yes, I was ‘calling out’, how naughty of me!), saying that she might end up with people claiming they might have caught something nasty off of her work, and she came in letting me know that ‘you can’t catch anything from her art work and I should get educated on the subject and how dangerous I was by saying things like this’ and that she was using ‘anonymous donors’ for her art. Lovely stuff. For the record: I never thought you could catch something off of her ‘work’, but I said that it would not surprise me if people would claim they had. Besides, all this ‘oohh look at me, I’m using SPERM, aren’t I daring and shocking?’ is just sooo childish…

The ‘artist’ also claimed that she’s very much interested in educating people. I then suggested to use only sperm of HIV infected men, and let people know about this in the description, but funny enough she thought I was being sarcastic…

Anyone buying this should also buy the plaque of the dino jacking off, and hang it on oposite walls.

Rate this comment: +6

Oct 9, 2009
4:39 pm

#4 OMG Guinea Pigs :

Redhead – it’s like college again!

Rate this comment: +2

Oct 9, 2009
6:06 pm

#5 icantpaymyfines.blogspot.com :

“Inspired” by Andy Warhol means that Andy Warhol has already been there, done that, and it’s hanging up in a steel factory in Pittsburgh for all of us to go pay $13 to see with 5 others just like it. ANDY WARHOL made it and it was good, so we don’t need any more.

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 9, 2009
6:16 pm

#6 sar-sar :

So then we don’t need to call CSI? Because the crimes against art have been disclosed by the person who wishes they were an artist.

Rate this comment: +1

Oct 9, 2009
6:49 pm

#7 freshie :

Zing!

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 9, 2009
9:26 pm

#8 starification :

That’s really disgusting =/

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 10, 2009
10:01 am

#9 imamazed2 :

so did these “random” body fluid suppliers just WHIP IT OUT and start spraying her piece of “wood”

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 10, 2009
12:38 pm

#10 Itsnotyouitsme :

Leave Andy Warhole out of this fuckery

Rate this comment: +2

Oct 10, 2009
2:03 pm

#11 lightmatrix :

The “I suppose it depends on how sexual you are” line is so irritating I can’t see straight. The kind of person who looks you deep in the eyes and says “I’m a very sexual person”, ugh. And the more sexual you are, the more likely you are to recognize semen splatters on wood?…blehhhhh.

Rate this comment: +1

Oct 10, 2009
3:29 pm

#12 successfulselleronetsy :

I bought some kitchen items from that seller a while back!

Rate this comment: +1

Oct 10, 2009
3:34 pm

#13 Helen Killer :

You might want to boil them.

Rate this comment: +16

Oct 10, 2009
4:47 pm

#14 juzzash :

I must say, i am almost tempted to purchase one. if any for the avid discussion it creates. Certainly a worthy piece of art in my opnion, when it creates such a stir.

Rate this comment: -2

Oct 10, 2009
10:11 pm

#15 Bourgeoisie :

“I suppose it depends on how sexual you are” got to me too. I have cat tails on my wall, but I wouldn’t let this piece of crap join them. I must commend her for her some what unique idea, but the lack of any actual artistic input and her holier than thou attitude makes this piece definitely deserving of being featured here.

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 10, 2009
11:08 pm

#16 PussDaddy :

Cat tails. Clutch my pearls! 0_0

PussDaddy

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 10, 2009
11:21 pm

#17 PussDaddy :

Well, ok, hee hee, I do have a studded leather strap myself. I honestly don’t know why I have it. I got it from a friend a long time ago. I have never actually slapped anyone with it anywhere. But it is kinda cool looking, fits well into your back pocket, and to me looks good as an accessory to an outfit. I always wanted to walk around with it in my back pocket and whip it out and slap the shit out of random people I came across who pissed me off or annoyed me (the words “came across” not meaning the same coming across as done on this painting, by they way). You know, one of those slaps across each cheek of the face that men did way back in the day when they wanted to throw down and duel. However owning this studded leather strap does nothing for my sexuality as far as wanting to own a cum painting.

PussDaddy

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 11, 2009
10:16 am

#18 nameless :

To be honest, I have a hard time believing that the splatter is from the uh, ejaculation of a man because the splatter patterns don’t make sense.

There’s no sense of motion. It really looks more like drips.
Each ’splat’ is nearly circular, which means it was shot at perpendicular so that raises the question of how it was set up. Man directly over, shooting down? Man standing and shooting straight forward (but that would lead to some kind of drip effect as there’s some viscosity to semen)

Anyway, I don’t believe the story she has behind this. If the colors she chose were more interesting it would be a decent piece without the hokey story.

Rate this comment: +7

Oct 11, 2009
10:30 am

#19 kittywings :

OK, I didn’t realize until reading the comments that the sperm stuff was REAL! I thought that was part of the comedy! OH. MY. LORD!!!!

EEEEEEEWWWWW!!!!

Rate this comment: +1

Oct 11, 2009
8:27 pm

#20 PussDaddy :

Blood spatter patterns are still one of the relativley new areas of forensic science being studied by forensic pathologists, so we won’t ask where #18 nameless where he or she got his or her cum spatter pattern expertise and just take his or her word for it.

PussDaddy

Rate this comment: +3

Oct 12, 2009
11:32 am

#21 Eveline :

For the pattern to make sense the ‘donor’ would have to have jerked off with the board right below him, I think?

Anyway.. Did I mention that you could also use your own sweetie’s sperm? Yes, you can ‘donate’ some yourself and hang it up on the wall and go ‘isn’t it just the sweetest thing?’

*sigh* I find it all a bit childish to be honest. But then, as ‘the artist’ said ‘At least I’m not using faeses’. Riiight.

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 12, 2009
7:05 pm

#22 ShitePolice :

Who wouldn’t want the cum of a random “UFO enthusiast” hanging on their wall?

Rate this comment: +1

Oct 12, 2009
10:36 pm

#23 Julie Meadows :

If only my parents could have orgasmed onto art for someone. Fucking disgusting.

Rate this comment: +1

Oct 14, 2009
4:40 am

#24 projectkennedy :

I’m a very sexual person thank you very much, whenever I see oddly colored splotches, I immediately think, cum. Yes that is cum with eyeshadow, tee hee, how naughty! Chanel too! tres magnifique!

Rate this comment: +4

Nov 12, 2009
6:58 am

#25 whatthefuck :

i can do the same thing for free…..

Rate this comment: +1

Nov 28, 2009
11:07 pm

#26 fanfuckingtastic :

i’ll just hang my little brother’s bed sheet on the wall.. same effect.

Rate this comment: +9

Dec 3, 2009
3:26 am

#27 It Lives :

I guess the last one to cum decided not to eat the board.

Rate this comment: +3

Dec 8, 2009
1:26 pm

#28 eastvanray :

I am going to make some of these art pieces for my friends and give them as hostess gifts! I have a lot of parties to attend this Christmas so I better get to work!

Rate this comment: 0

Dec 17, 2009
6:11 pm

#29 katejo2000 :

This shit makes me glad I’m alive.

Rate this comment: 0