Half-Past Crap
- Submitted by Rachael
She got off most of the old cheese, so that’s good. It only smells a little like a bum’s nutsack. Oh sure, it’s not perfect, but you try cleaning a cheese grater with a cigarette.
46 comments on Half-Past Crap
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October 8, 2009 at 10:50 am
It looks like she put this together in her drive way! Call me a cynical cindi but I’m willing to bet this is not from a smoke free home.
October 8, 2009 at 11:54 am
oh boy this woman will slap a clock on anything!
im thinking the extra cheesey bits she couldnt get off just add charm to the piece, no?
February 20, 2013 at 10:00 am
Cheesus Fugit.
October 8, 2009 at 12:00 pm
scary news, i clicked thru, this is a guy! thats his girlfriend!!
October 8, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Are those sex bracelets? I think the different colors mean she is into Oral and Intercourse, but no kissing.
October 8, 2009 at 1:30 pm
And he was the gratest surgeon who ever lived.
October 8, 2009 at 3:58 pm
5:40 is a grate time for a tetanus booster!
October 8, 2009 at 5:20 pm
I’ve been laughing so hard my stomach hurts. “I got most of the cheese off” hahhaha. Do they make a clock out of a cigarette packet too?
October 8, 2009 at 5:23 pm
they have a clock made out of a toilet seat. What can I say?…
October 8, 2009 at 6:20 pm
my eyes my eyes
why the fag in the hand?
why put a fucking clock face on a bloody grater?
honestly … WHY?
October 8, 2009 at 7:09 pm
I think the landscape t-shirt is a nice background touch. The cigarette must be there to add an authentic ocean mist.
October 8, 2009 at 9:35 pm
Did you see her store? she’ll turn ANYTHING into a clock. I can’t decide which to buy, the men’s room sign with clock hands? Or the Labyrinth clock so that everytime I look at it I think of David Bowie. I would actually kind of like a print of the picture of this woman holding the grater, it’s almost like a william eggleston photo……almost.
October 8, 2009 at 9:41 pm
Wait… I can’t get past this…. whe has 401 sales. 401 people!! excuse me, my head just exploded.
October 8, 2009 at 10:30 pm
that picture is nothing without the cigarette
October 9, 2009 at 12:14 am
I’m waiting for the first Etsy seller who puts a clock on a dead animal, preferably distinctly female. That would nicely sum up what has been featured so far.
October 9, 2009 at 12:55 am
Do you think I could commission a clock made out of a print of this picture?
October 9, 2009 at 3:15 am
Could I have a vagina made in to a clock, please?
October 9, 2009 at 6:23 am
oh goodness nicole…you just gave someone an idea…I give it a few days until we see that on etsy (if its not there already).
This pic has to be a joke…the whole listing really. I think they are trying to get featured on one of these sites. Cause none of their other pics are like this. Kitschy, yes. necessarily bad? not really.
October 9, 2009 at 11:18 am
i gotta disagree with you just a bit, moi. the barbie “stying head” with the clock hands impaled into her chest…pretty freakin’ bad.
October 9, 2009 at 12:22 pm
he doesn’t describe it to be very appealing…maybe it’s a cuckoo clock and every hour moldy rusted cheese pops out?
October 9, 2009 at 12:49 pm
this is wonderful, the image, the caption, everything. it makes you wonder that these aren’t all made deliberately, by people just looking for a laugh..but some of it is SO ridiculous it can’t possibly be deliberate. who thinks of this stuff?!?!?
October 10, 2009 at 6:34 am
I’m thinking this was made deliberately. Wow. I should just start making crafts out of crap I find in the dumpster.
October 12, 2009 at 10:20 am
Hahahahahhaahah!!!!!!! What would really top off the pic would be the woman missing teeth.
October 12, 2009 at 10:24 am
Well…..we can only see the top one Judi there is still hope
October 12, 2009 at 12:33 pm
You people do realize that to complete her ensemble she is wearing sweatpants and flip flops….
October 17, 2009 at 2:32 pm
Just perfect for the faux mantle in the double-wide
October 22, 2009 at 2:22 pm
I feel so dirty just looking at this. Ick, I bet she smells.
October 25, 2009 at 7:30 am
I love that he went back and changed the description to state that his sweetie Helen Killer is the model. LMFAO!
October 25, 2009 at 4:51 pm
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October 26, 2009 at 12:50 am
aquarianchica, look at the comment above yours. The one where someone points out that the seller went back and changed his description to say that I am the model. That comment has been up there for hours. There is no conspiracy to delete anything.
I am not the woman in the picture. The seller has a sense of humor. We made a joke about him, he’s making one about us. I think it’s great.
November 5, 2009 at 4:07 pm
I love the description of his artistic process, I almost feel as if I’m in the artisan’s studio, watching in awe as he transforms a discarded treasure into a quality time piece.
November 6, 2009 at 11:23 am
Also, the model looks like the waitress in the bubble boy episode of Seinfeld.
November 11, 2009 at 1:10 am
Why isn’t this filed in ‘things that only smell a little like a bum’s nutsack’? As opposed to clocks and watches I mean. Tears in my eyes this is so fricken funny! Thank you Madame Killer!
November 11, 2009 at 1:49 pm
As a smoker, even I find that smouldering half butt in the model’s hand kinda’ repulsive… At least she’s not smoking in the house, so mabe it was made in a smoke free environment… just not photographed in one!
December 1, 2009 at 4:53 pm
Mmmmmm…. rusty cheese and cigarette ash. This clock is like its own potpourri!
January 7, 2010 at 1:36 am
Aquarianchica, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but you missed the boat a bit on this one. Shockingly, not everything is a conspiracy and somehow going to all the trouble to create a site hilariously annihilating ridiculous art work seems like a terrible way to generate traffic and buyers for said products. That was a little thing called sarcasm when the commenter said the model was Ms. Killer. Calm down, before you need to utilize your smelling salts.
January 7, 2010 at 1:39 am
Oh yes, and Aquarianchica, you sound really pretentious and uneducated at the same time. Congratulations… that isn’t very easy to do.
February 2, 2010 at 7:04 pm
This piece of shit in particular really grates on me.
February 6, 2010 at 10:03 pm
Late to this party and late to buy this heirloom.
DANG ME!
This scummola is reserved for a customer, fucking A,
I am totally speechless, 28 bucks pathetICK.
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September 11, 2010 at 6:55 am
Okay ya’ll… Business was booming so hard and so fast, she didn’t have TIME to put down the cigarette. He was throwing ugly clocks at her left and right. It was all she could do to keep up.
January 17, 2011 at 4:08 am
On the subject of cheese remnants: http://www.etsy.com/listing/60364031/hour-daily-bread
She scraped of “most” of the kiddy goo?? What the heck is kiddy goo anyway???
February 9, 2011 at 9:52 pm
The clock hands look like they are made from a pair of tongs.
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June 13, 2011 at 9:48 pm
Interesting that she would turn an old grater into a clock, she does have some great imagination. Why are we all so surprised? People have created some really strange and weird stuff over the time. I’m glad that she managed to get most of the cheese off. Hopefully the “clock” won’t smell too much.