Cut the Cord
I’m sorry, but this is terrifying. You want to give this to a child? I’m a grown woman and I want to lock myself in the laundry room. Seriously, when you’re following a pattern to crochet a placenta, you need a time out. Put this whole thing in the trash and go to Toys ‘R Us. Your kid is going to grow up to hate you anyway. Don’t rush it.
October 5, 2009 at 9:53 am
Something like this should be used in all high school sex ed classes, it would do a lot to cut down on teen pregnancies. And having sex period.
October 5, 2009 at 9:59 am
Oh, Come on. Why stop here? Let’s crochet a post-partum Mama with hemmorrhoids and 2nd degree laceration scars.We could use all natural plant dyes to create the look of blood. I feel really left out as a crocheter that I merely showed my kids pictures of childbirth.
October 5, 2009 at 11:05 am
I am currently crocheting a rectal exam.
October 5, 2009 at 11:06 am
Careful with that hook.
October 5, 2009 at 12:39 pm
What really scares me is the idea that the crafter’s bush looks like that.
Goddamn hippies.
October 5, 2009 at 3:00 pm
I enjoyed the design much more when I thought a tiny Gene Shalit was emerging from the crocheted vagina.
October 5, 2009 at 7:05 pm
You ever see that movie “The Ring”? The second one, where they meet Mom in the asylum? Yeah. This comes to mind. Perhaps they should have used it as a prop.
October 5, 2009 at 9:09 pm
What a coincidence, Stinkbait: I’ll soon be working on a Yeast Infection doll. It’s on hold until I finish “guy writhing on a mattress full of bed bugs”. That one is gonna be my masterpiece.
October 5, 2009 at 9:40 pm
does anyone else think that her nips look like game pieces? anyone up for a game of “sorry”? i am sorry i looked at this doll!
October 6, 2009 at 4:09 am
XD
Reminds me of the alien baby scene from V:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TufUH1T-#t=1m52s
October 6, 2009 at 5:22 am
hilarious and wrong at the same time.
I wonder who would buy this?
April 24, 2011 at 1:36 pm
My sister asked me tu crochet one for her[for a laugh] and I got orders to make 2 more.Actuallt fully clothed with the baby delivered they are cute.
October 6, 2009 at 9:15 am
Oh wow! I never thought I would be relieved when looking at something like this. That is the TOP of the baby’s head peeking out and that is the baby’s hair. Wow… took me a second…
At first glance I was thinking “Why, in the name of all that is holy, is the baby puking pubes?”
Now, realizing what it actually is, I feel a slight sense of relief.
October 6, 2009 at 1:27 pm
This is so NOT the way amigurumi is supposed to happen. Oy. And Ow.
October 7, 2009 at 3:56 pm
Seriously, are you going to publish this stuff? Your commentary is priceless!
October 7, 2009 at 11:51 pm
that is eerily similar to mother with the giant nipples in that movie braindead/dead alive
October 8, 2009 at 12:35 am
There are many fun things I am thinking! I am so curious about this pattern. Does the baby come out? Is there a pot smoking hippie dad included to cut then cook up the attached placenta? Is it patchouli scented? Is it made from hemp? Are there other attachments? Why did someone make this? Do they not have a school or a library in their commune?
October 8, 2009 at 9:42 pm
Why does the baby have such a big mustache?
October 9, 2009 at 12:14 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
October 10, 2009 at 3:14 pm
This is horrible, and omg teh bush. YIKES. That said, you must realize this has nothing to do with children, right? Most childbirth educators aren’t shopping at Toys R Us, and they definitely aren’t selling their teaching materials as toys. This thing is repellent for reasons other than it not looking like something at a toy store – models of placentas, pelvis bones, etc. are probably not on Toys R Us’ radar either, kwim?
October 10, 2009 at 6:47 pm
Every time I look at this, I think it’s a drunken pregnant woman passed out on top of Carlos Santana, which may be even more educational than such a doll aims to be.
October 11, 2009 at 5:08 pm
Just the picture brought tears of laughter to my eyes, have been a long time etsy shopper, am so happy to have found this site.
October 12, 2009 at 2:08 am
I can think of a few “Family Planning” clinics in my local area that would love this… this made me well and truly LAUGH OUT FREAKIN’ LOUD!!!
October 12, 2009 at 10:29 am
Disturbing! But what stands out to me is the huge nipples and MASSIVE amount of pubic hair!!
October 14, 2009 at 10:41 am
Is that Cher???
October 14, 2009 at 10:41 am
and uh…..Sonny???
October 17, 2009 at 1:46 pm
Yeah, but the kids might get confused because you can put the baby back IN. Among other things. Actually you could top your pencil with it and take it to school.
October 18, 2009 at 2:32 pm
Well dammit, I wanted to see the matching placenta and cord. I feel cheated.
October 21, 2009 at 6:12 pm
Finally the perfect gift for the office “secret santa” gift exchange, happy holidays!
October 23, 2009 at 1:48 pm
Looks like Linda Blair is giving birth to Satan’s spawn. Pea soup anyone?
October 26, 2009 at 7:09 pm
What disturbs me even more is the fact that they aren’t seeling the doll, but the pattern to make the doll! What kind of weirdo would sit around crocheting a childbirth?
“Oh, granny what are you making today.”
“Well Litte Timmy, this is how babies come out of mommies.”
October 28, 2009 at 4:52 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
November 9, 2009 at 8:40 pm
Are we sure her Scary Hairy is not EATING the baby?
I can’t really tell.
November 15, 2009 at 2:03 am
this pattern is for the serious crotcheter.
November 15, 2009 at 2:04 am
whoops…I meant to say the ‘experienced’ crotcheter.
November 25, 2009 at 5:06 pm
Thought this one was creepy but I found even creepier from this seller:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=17595183
I also wonder what could ‘toys (not for children)’ be. I can’t wait this section to be filled with creepy beyond my expectations.
December 9, 2009 at 3:52 am
I love this doll; I’d buy it if I could afford the hefty pricetag. When my kid asks me about the where babies come from, I can just whip her out.
. . . Although I do want grandkids someday. Maybe I should stick with the youtube videos.
I do admire the artist’s effort and passion.
June 10, 2010 at 8:20 pm
This clearly states ‘Childbirth Educator’ not ‘childs toy’ lol
September 11, 2010 at 2:04 pm
DOES THE MOTHER KNOW A WOOLY MAMMOTH JUST FELL BETWEEN HER LEGS?!
I am so glad I didn’t see this before I had my children. Because if I thought for one second that was what “giving birth” looked like, I’d have sewn my cooter shut.
October 21, 2010 at 10:11 pm
And this looks like Jim Henson’s sick little joke. Kira giving birth to Jen’s Gelfling baby…
Pingback: Childbirth Education Doll in Yet Another Book. « Cozycoleman’s Blog
July 26, 2011 at 2:07 am
Whoa! Another doll that looks like a witch and in my view would frighten many young person!
September 2, 2011 at 2:26 am
There’s a time and a place and it’s much later in life.
September 6, 2011 at 1:54 am
It’s attention grabbing. My friends laughed at it.
I’ve never seen that kind of doll before. Who on earth thought about it? He/she’s quite impressive and creative.
September 8, 2011 at 8:18 am
Creative, maybe, but I’m with onlyme on this one. If you’re going to crochet, stick with doilies.