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NSFW – Lip Service

Posted by Helen Killer

You know, it’s unnerving enough that there’s someone out there, painstakingly making polymer replicas of your cooter. But it really gets weird in the description:

After purchasing, send me a convo describing your vagina: the shape of your inner and outer labia, colors, how much or how little your inner labia extend out from your outer labia, how well hidden your clitoris is, is it heavily hooded, or can you see it fairly easily?

Yeah, I don’t think so. If I’m going to spend that much time online talking to a stranger about my pussy, I better be playing with myself.

Filed in Vaginas 42 comments

42 Comments

Oct 2, 2009
11:00 am

#1 Alabama_Worley :

Haha, it is weird, but I sort-of want one.

Rate this comment: +8

Oct 2, 2009
12:23 pm

#2 Risamay :

A coworker just instant messengered me your site. OMG – crying laughing. And cannot stop. I think this find takes the cake though. OMG OMG OMG I can’t believe these are for real. But thank god for them, because they’re side-splittingly (to say nothing of DOWN THERE) hilarious!

Rate this comment: +1

Oct 2, 2009
6:02 pm

#3 Anita :

Oh, my gosh, I cannot believe it.

Rate this comment: -2

Oct 2, 2009
9:24 pm

#4 Elisha :

I think it takes a lot of patience and skill to create such realistic looking vagina art. The artist asks for the description because their clients might want a prettier representation of their vagina or even a fantasy one.

Rate this comment: -1

Oct 3, 2009
8:31 am

#5 Jane :

This is the funniest thing I have ever seen! I laughed so hard I cried! I think they would make nice tree ornaments don’t you?? lmao!! Or awesome party favors! Priceless!

Rate this comment: +3

Oct 3, 2009
2:12 pm

#6 Naumadd :

Well, some ARE certainly memorable. It’s things like this that remind me how daring and free some among us feel. It’s an inspiring example and I think it’s great. I hope they get a lot of “business”. (Tee hee)

Rate this comment: +3

Oct 3, 2009
8:02 pm

#7 Ellen :

I wouldn’t order these because I’m just too lazy to go looking for my hand mirror.

Love your site. Hilarious.

Rate this comment: +14

Oct 3, 2009
9:52 pm

#8 PussDaddy :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -7

Oct 4, 2009
3:03 pm

#9 Deb :

She has 442 sales so it must not be all bad.

Rate this comment: 0

Oct 4, 2009
3:09 pm

#10 Helen Killer :

“Transformers 2″ made half a billion dollars.

Rate this comment: +20

Oct 5, 2009
8:23 am

#11 Ellemene :

I’m always a little disturbed by some of the images of pussy that are portrayed in crafting on the internet. It’s almost as if the only source they’ve got access to is pornography and sex shops, who seem to glorify the “giant hood, butterfly inner labia” look over other versions of the pussy.

Rate this comment: +12

Oct 5, 2009
11:40 am

#12 mikiki and guest :

I just pissed myself a little @Helen Killer #10.
jesus christ.
must find spare underpants in desk drawer.
will be back later.
dinner’s in the microwave.
xo

your mom

Rate this comment: +3

Oct 5, 2009
2:02 pm

#13 superchuckholly :

Um, I was recently thinking of buying one of these. I love the idea, and the final product. They’re just so gorgeous! And I think it’d be amazing to have a model of my vulva.

Rate this comment: +1

Oct 5, 2009
2:06 pm

#14 Helen Killer :

You should buy one! I think everything featured here should be purchased by someone. Just not me.

Rate this comment: +16

Oct 5, 2009
8:12 pm

#15 Julia :

I can’t believe that many people out there actually buy this stuff! I looked at the sales this person has and it’s outrageous!
Just what i always wanted, to wear a vagina around my neck…. insane.

Rate this comment: +2

Oct 6, 2009
1:39 am

#16 Otto Von Bismarck :

I think I recognize the one on the far left.

Rate this comment: +35

Oct 7, 2009
2:40 pm

#17 Evil Seedlet :

Ok, Um, while I don’t think ladies should always hide their bodies in shame and sex and vulvas are dirty, horrible things.. They aren’t everyone’s flaming business either. Why not get a model of your asshole? Because no one wants to see it? Well guess what!

I could see getting one as a … joke? But not because “I am an empowered, beautiful woman with god-like vagina outsides that need to be shown off” Those parts are between me, my boyfriend and my doctor, and two out of those three can already see them pretty much whenever they want.

Rate this comment: +18

Oct 7, 2009
8:58 pm

#18 thembone :

While I’m not into the whole “ew my vagina is ugly and dirty” thing, it’s just as weird when people are completely obsessed with theirs and feel like they must insist at every turn that it’s beautiful and amazing. It’s a body part. I don’t want a replica of any of my other body parts either. And carrying an exact replica around on my keys would feel akin to showing my vagina to every person I pass on the street. No thanks. Last time I checked, guys didn’t need pictures of their dicks everywhere to feel good about themselves.

(You can say there are things all around that are “phallic”-ish, and sure, that’s probably true… but the female equivalent of the Washington Monument is a Georgia O’Keefe painting. Suggestive, but not an outright representation.)

Rate this comment: +11

Oct 9, 2009
1:24 am

#19 7ate9 :

I think this would make dating so much easier.

so on the first date you just whip this little puppy out and say “this is what I got down there. does this do anything for you or we both wasting our time?”

might as well just cut to the chase

Rate this comment: +71

Oct 9, 2009
1:25 am

#20 7ate9 :

which one is Paris Hilton’s? these are celebrity vag, right?

Rate this comment: -1

Oct 9, 2009
1:07 pm

#21 heidi :

vagina’s AND penises–both ugly. that’s why we call it, “bumpin uglies”. There are just some things you shouldn’t wear around your neck.

Rate this comment: -2

Oct 12, 2009
11:11 am

#22 vangoghbabe :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -6

Oct 28, 2009
11:10 am

#23 Angela :

did anyone see the link to this on perez hilton’s website? doesn’t he have enough celebutards to keep up with without posting this without crediting regretsy?

Rate this comment: +1

Oct 29, 2009
7:07 pm

#24 GrayPyre :

I must say this is the only vagina ‘art’ on here that seems to be made by someone who’s seen one.

Rate this comment: +25

Nov 4, 2009
12:10 pm

#25 SelenaEon :

O M G. I just snorted tea out my nose when I read the description.

Rate this comment: 0

Nov 5, 2009
8:03 pm

#26 hangfire :

Ooooh that’s really weird. I kinda want one too, in a neurotic street-shock/shock-your-gramma kinda way

Rate this comment: +4

Nov 6, 2009
9:01 pm

#27 Tdogdd :

Why doesn’t he just ask for a picture of your labia.
Wouldn’t that be easier. I suppose you could just leave it on a coffee table to start conversations. on a date. They may begin with nice lips… oh really you like them?they are an exact copy of my own… if he can sit through that he might be a keeper

Rate this comment: +8

Nov 7, 2009
7:16 pm

#28 drkvbailey :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -21

Nov 11, 2009
4:42 am

#29 uhh kinda :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -21

Nov 12, 2009
9:47 am

#30 Minime :

The description has changed. You can now send a photo of your ’special place.’

After purchasing you can e-mail 2-3 photos of your Yoni to: VulvaLoveLovely [!at] Gmail.com. Please include chain choice: Antique copper or gunmetal (shown in the final photo) in the ‘message to seller’ section at checkout.

*If no photo or description is sent you will receive one of our beautiful flesh-toned Vulva pendants*

Rate this comment: +1

Nov 12, 2009
12:25 pm

#31 bffm79 :

I can appreciate it as art; I’m just glad mine doesn’t look like those.

Rate this comment: +5

Nov 19, 2009
8:07 pm

#32 disgruntled :

Wait? Is this “flesh colored” like the peach colored crayola crayon that got discontinued back in the late 60’s? What about the “vaginas of color”? Are there color options for those? What about “post-partum purple”? *mutters: realistic my arse*

Rate this comment: +15

Nov 28, 2009
11:47 am

#33 skycrawler :

I LOVE these. Gives it a whole new meaning when I ask my wife “Where did you hide the F^%$#%$ keys THIS time!

Rate this comment: +5

Nov 28, 2009
5:26 pm

#34 BettyMachete :

Ya gotta buy me dinner before you get to see the Meat Curtains!! No way I’m just showin ya them- toiled around my neck. Jeepers.

Rate this comment: +14

May 24, 2010
7:50 pm

#35 Meanie :

I post on a few alternative/hippy mama forums, and a lot of feminists buy them..and they also get them as gifts for their midwives and doulas. lol

Rate this comment: +2

Jun 2, 2010
2:32 am

#36 Madeline :

Seeing the labia pulled apart like that makes me shudder. They look like they’re on a dissecting table, frankly.

Rate this comment: +1

Jun 3, 2010
5:43 am

#37 Madeline :

These disembodied genitalia need to go in dead things as well.

Rate this comment: +1

Jun 18, 2010
2:03 pm

#38 val :

make it stop! My sides are killing me!

Rate this comment: +1

Aug 17, 2010
6:06 pm

#39 sheltiepitbullfun :

I can’t believe there are 38 comments here and nobody mentioned the GREEN vagina! Then again, the incredible Hulk was on here the other day maybe its for his girlfriend?

Rate this comment: 0

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