hahahahahahahahaha this is fucking beautiful! that snowman looks so damned happy!! Everyone go look at the store immediately- the ‘beef stew with a candy cane reduction’ features the most exquisitely drawn nutsack i have ever seen.
i do believe i have shopping to do.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
To please fat jealous loser st nick he did gather,
a snowmans head and plucked it straight through with his schlong,
all the way up to his bladder…
I saw Santa skull fuck a snowman
Underneath the mistletoe last night.
He didn’t see me creep
Down the stairs to have a peek; (I was quiet! )
He thought I was tucked
Up in my bedroom fast asleep.(But I wasn’t! )
Then, I saw Santa skull fuck a snowman
Underneath his beard so snowy white.
Oh, what a laugh it would have been,
If Daddy had only seen
Santa skull fucking a snowman last night!
The description almost redeems the art. But if you’re selling this masterpiece for $3…it seems like there are motivations other than “money” behind putting this online. Ahem.
On second thought, I’m going to go with the one where he’s cooking soup and rubbing a candy cane against his asshole. My mom’s boyfriend will be simply delighted.
I wish I had the balls to give this to some of my devout religious family members. Instead I totally pussy out and give them generic christmas ball ornament cards and giggle because they’re still balls.
Ahhhh….but imagine how entertaining it would be to wrap this beauty up and give it to your inlaws as a special Christmas gift? More unique than a summer sausage (no pun intended) and cheese basket, and no frostbitten gonads.
December 13, 2011 at 3:27 am
hahahahahahahahaha this is fucking beautiful! that snowman looks so damned happy!! Everyone go look at the store immediately- the ‘beef stew with a candy cane reduction’ features the most exquisitely drawn nutsack i have ever seen.
i do believe i have shopping to do.
December 13, 2011 at 10:06 am
Was going to thumb you down for the hahahaing but decided against it when I read “exquisitely drawn nutsack”
December 13, 2011 at 3:47 pm
I should hope it’s exquisitely drawn – the shop owner is one of us fat, jealous losers!!!
December 13, 2011 at 8:19 am
One word:
Shrinkage
December 13, 2011 at 10:14 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
December 13, 2011 at 10:28 am
You know what’s impressive about Santa? That IS the picture AFTER the shrinkage!
December 13, 2011 at 11:36 am
Poor George. He just can’t live up to Santa.
December 13, 2011 at 8:57 pm
but apparently the cold doesn’t shrink Santa’s awesome man-boobage there!
December 13, 2011 at 10:00 am
Frosty the Blowman. That is all.
December 13, 2011 at 10:03 am
*insert joke about runny nose b/c it’s a penis instead*
December 13, 2011 at 10:06 am
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December 13, 2011 at 10:06 am
this is what happens to a man who only gets to come once a year, poor horny santa:(
December 13, 2011 at 4:28 pm
But he does manage to fill a stocking when he comes.
December 13, 2011 at 10:29 pm
I do declare! I envision a bounty of sugar plums this Xmas!
December 13, 2011 at 10:08 am
Instead of the misspelling at the top (“Decemeber”), shouldn’t it be Decmember?
December 13, 2011 at 10:40 am
Oh, not so funny now that Bronc has corrected the misspelling. Hmph!
December 13, 2011 at 10:13 am
nice socks
December 13, 2011 at 10:16 am
Is that snow on his penis or the most impressive wart ever? You make the call.
December 13, 2011 at 6:25 pm
… or is Santa just happy to see me?
December 13, 2011 at 10:19 am
Upscumbag is a Regretsy member of long standing. He used to have a fiver gig where he’d draw a fat man in socks in sexual poses.
He’ll be thrilled!
December 13, 2011 at 11:11 am
You have no idea.
December 13, 2011 at 12:08 pm
Your passion for tube-socks is always inspirational. A very festive choice for the season.
December 13, 2011 at 12:28 pm
I thought this was you at first glance. Then I saw the tube socks and Bazinga.
You’re so distinctive. I am proud to know you.
December 13, 2011 at 1:00 pm
One day there’ll be a piece in a gallery with a description, “In the style of upscumbag…”
December 16, 2011 at 1:00 pm
I gotta say your artwork always makes me smile. It’s the perfect balance of well-executed, unusual, and funny.
December 13, 2011 at 10:23 am
Santa is hung
December 13, 2011 at 10:49 am
By the chimney with care, even.
December 13, 2011 at 1:02 pm
And (grunt) Saint Nicho— (grunt) —las soon (grunt) will be (grunt) THERE!!!!!
December 13, 2011 at 10:43 pm
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
To please fat jealous loser st nick he did gather,
a snowmans head and plucked it straight through with his schlong,
all the way up to his bladder…
December 13, 2011 at 10:27 am
‘Tis the season of giving, for when Frosty sneezes, all will get a joyous pearl necklace.
December 13, 2011 at 10:28 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
December 13, 2011 at 10:36 am
A while new meaning to the North Pole.
December 13, 2011 at 10:43 am
ack – whole new meaning
Wait!
Hole new meaning!
December 13, 2011 at 10:37 am
Skullfuck Santa!
December 13, 2011 at 10:42 am
I saw Santa skull fuck a snowman
Underneath the mistletoe last night.
He didn’t see me creep
Down the stairs to have a peek; (I was quiet! )
He thought I was tucked
Up in my bedroom fast asleep.(But I wasn’t! )
Then, I saw Santa skull fuck a snowman
Underneath his beard so snowy white.
Oh, what a laugh it would have been,
If Daddy had only seen
Santa skull fucking a snowman last night!
Strangely it doesn’t have the same ring to it.
December 13, 2011 at 10:51 pm
Dashing through a snowmans head, with his schlong and socks in tow…
December 13, 2011 at 10:43 am
Gonna end up with blue balls one way or another.
December 13, 2011 at 10:54 am
I knew this was Upscumbag’s work! Well done!
December 13, 2011 at 11:02 am
I, too, adore him.
December 13, 2011 at 11:33 am
He is the best. Yay!
December 13, 2011 at 9:15 pm
yup, immediately recognized this as his work.. He does awesome art!
December 13, 2011 at 10:55 am
I knew exactly who did this when I saw the tube socks. Yay, Upscumbag!
December 13, 2011 at 11:22 am
I found my Christmas card for next year! The socks, absolute genius. Art, pure art.
December 13, 2011 at 11:40 am
The only thing better/more disturbing than this would be a profile in which Santa had the carrot sticking out of his ass.
December 13, 2011 at 12:18 pm
I’m simultaneously amused and distressed that naked Santa fucking a snowman’s head is considered “Gay interest.”
December 13, 2011 at 1:15 pm
Indeed, there’s nothing particularly gay about inserting one’s your cock into every imaginable orifice. But I suppose it is a snowMAN, therefore…
December 14, 2011 at 3:58 am
I would agree to this, provided the snowman in question has lovingly shaped male genitalia.
December 13, 2011 at 12:40 pm
And this is AFTER “shrinkage” from the Cold!
December 13, 2011 at 12:50 pm
“I don’t know what you’d do with a living face around your cock…”
Oh I do. I SO do.
December 13, 2011 at 1:12 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
December 13, 2011 at 1:17 pm
Santa better hope that the reindeer don’t get confused when looking for a carrot snack.
December 13, 2011 at 1:28 pm
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December 13, 2011 at 2:00 pm
I love the description. Made me chuckle.
Great piece of work upscumbag Heck I’m a newb and I recognised your work!
Oh and it’s defiantly snow not a wart.
December 13, 2011 at 2:07 pm
I knew it was his the moment i saw the socks. lovely, lovely tube socks
December 14, 2011 at 5:31 pm
I could tell even before I scrolled down and saw the socks.
Glad to see he’s still out there spreading the lols.
December 13, 2011 at 3:53 pm
Ohman, now *this* is the post “IT’S A VERY SANTORUM CHRISTMAS, CHARLIE BROWN” should have gone to!
December 13, 2011 at 6:35 pm
Well, this image is going to flash before my eyes when I die.
December 13, 2011 at 7:05 pm
I always imagined Santa as circumcised.
December 13, 2011 at 7:13 pm
I am gay, and yet have no interest.
December 13, 2011 at 8:35 pm
Santa has impressive man-boobs.
December 13, 2011 at 9:51 pm
With inverted nipples
December 14, 2011 at 6:15 am
Bet Santa won’t be so jolly when the old frostbite sets in!
December 14, 2011 at 12:04 pm
Hubby just showed me this, which is slightly relevant.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JBHjDEHBFo
December 14, 2011 at 9:51 pm
Whoa. I need this.
On second thought, I’m going to go with the one where he’s cooking soup and rubbing a candy cane against his asshole. My mom’s boyfriend will be simply delighted.
December 15, 2011 at 9:15 am
I wish I had the balls to give this to some of my devout religious family members. Instead I totally pussy out and give them generic christmas ball ornament cards and giggle because they’re still balls.
December 15, 2011 at 11:17 am
Ahhhh….but imagine how entertaining it would be to wrap this beauty up and give it to your inlaws as a special Christmas gift? More unique than a summer sausage (no pun intended) and cheese basket, and no frostbitten gonads.