I think we all knew that Petja Palooza was going to be special.

But it wasn’t until I actualy saw Petja on the streets of Manhattan last week, that I knew we were talking about a whole other level of Dafuq?

There really are no words to describe what the hell happened last weekend, so instead, I’ll share some of the more tasteful images, and let you draw your own conclusions.

One thing we do need to talk about is the gift bag. This bag had more fuckery per square inch than any bag could reasonably be expected to contain. And we had one for everybody, meaning that every seller who participated donated well over 200 pieces of merchandise for your fat, jelaous pleasure.

Here is a list of people who donated to our swag bags, filling them with everything from handmade jewelry to vibrating naughty things:

The School Locker
Beanie Gee
Music for the Goddess
Naffrodisia
Wendy’s Origami
Epic Blossoms
Blue Cat Books
Ravenshold Creations
Simply Smiss
Xjaeva
Princess Buzzkill’s Crying Glitter Eagle’s Emporium of Whimsy
Bound in Chain
Rainy Day Paperback Exchange
Wylie Elise Beckert
Epic Toy Chest
This Charming Candy
Gabbus
Found Philosophy
Lux Soap
Creative Heart’s Design
Live Clay
Risa Rocks It
Gallardo Works
Misfit Dynamo
Jewel Renee
L and K Beads
Catbird Craft
Nebbish Without a Cause
Lil Gypsy Treasures
Donna The Dead
Extreme Restraints
Diana Voisin
Bloodstream City
Third Half Studios
Arsenal Soap Works

If you contributed to the bag and you are not credited, please let me know

That right there is a list of approved fuckery vendors, so please visit their shops when you’re looking for something wonderful that hasn’t been imported from Bali.

And by the way, we have about 15 extra gift bags, and we’ll be offering those for sale in the next day or so. Proceeds will benefit Bronc’s AIDS Ride, June 3rd – 9th.

Finally, I’d like to thank someone very special for putting this all together.

That’s the heartstoppingly awesome Patrick McNaughton, preparing to give me a lap dance at Lucky Cheng’s.

Patrick is an event designer and Regretsy fan in NYC, and we were able to hire him to coordinate everything for us before we got out there. This poor bastard did everything from choosing the menu to packing up the gift bags and transporting them all to the venue.

By himself.

With no help from us.

Because we suck.

And after all that, he still had time to dance seductively for me while I shook my balloon penis at him. Try getting that kind of action from human resources.

So if you’re looking for an event designer in New York, email this bastard immediately.

Honestly, if I were looking for a full time employee in NYC, I would hire this guy so fast it would give new meaning to New York minute. And you know I’m sincere, because I never say anything good about anyone.

A sincere heartfelt thanks to everyone who contributed to the bags, to Petja’s travel fund and the incredibly wonderful event that was Petja Palooza.

It still gets me, right here.

- Click here to buy Wylie Elise Beckert’s incredible Petja Palooza poster

Earlier today I asked you to tell me which of the following items are real listings on Etsy, and which ones we made up. As always, we have thoroughly enjoyed your guesses, and the tortured logic you’ve used to make your decisions.

Here are your best guesses, and the correct answers.

1. CINDERELLA SHOE

YOUR GUESSES:

“Etsy because April would never leave the time stamp on a picture.”

“Etsy – reeks of desperation. Just surprised there aren’t more stray cat hairs on the towel.”

“If the shoe was Etsy, it would have been made with tampon strings.”

AND THE ANSWER IS…

2. JAR OF RUSTY BOLTS (YOU DON’T GET THE JAR)

YOUR GUESSES:

“Etsy, because you don’t get the jar.”

“If the nuts and bolts aren’t Regretsy, I’m moving to the moon.”

“Has to be Regretsy. They spelled ‘assemblage’ properly.”

AND THE ANSWER IS…

3. ROSEANNE AND DAN EARRINGS

YOUR GUESSES:

“I don’t want to live in a world where Roseanne head earrings aren’t readily available for purchase.”

“Etsy. April is too lazy to make those.”

“Do you think they could make a Sara Gilbert head for a labial piercing? Just asking for a friend.”

AND THE ANSWER IS…

4. DECOUPAGED DETERGENT BOTTLE

YOUR GUESSES:

“Etsy, because the word art at the bottom would take too fucking long.”

“If the High Tide is real that’s enough reason to keep marijuana illegal forever.”

“Regretsy. A true craftard would have covered the cap, too”

AND THE ANSWER IS…

5. CD GARDEN ART

YOUR GUESSES:

“If the CDs are not Regretsy, I may have to spend a whole week in bed, eating ice cream and gently rocking back and forth.”

“I think the CDs are Etsy, because I doubt April has a table that ugly in her house.”

“Please be fake please be fake please be fake.”

AND THE ANSWER IS…

6. CLOTHESPINS IN A TUB

YOUR GUESSES:

“I’m calling this Regretsy – a perfect storm of fake Etsy, it’s just a little too good.”

“Regretsy. If they were Etsy, they’d be at least $12.”

“Clothespins had better be Regretsy because they irritate me just looking at them.”

AND THE ANSWER IS…

Thanks for playing!

It’s time to play…

Here’s how this works:

At least one of these is a real listing on Etsy. At least one of these was completely invented by us.

The question is, which is the Etsy, and which is the Regretsy?

Make your best guesses in the comments, but don’t cheat (if you do cheat, don’t post spoilers).

Answers will be posted in a few hours.